But that earth had imploded because of my fight with Dark Alter-Talon. Did that mean this earth would implode because Talon would fight with Alter-Talon? If so, what if Talon stayed away from the fight entirely? What if I did? Could we avoid the entanglement, and the subsequent destruction of the planet, simply by staying away? Or was it destined to happen no matter what?
Phin hit the horn, scaring a kermit so badly he hopped right out of his powerbocking lane and into a bush. Then we cut off a few more scooters and exited the main highway, winding our way through the labyrinth of bamboo in Schaumburg, cornering too fast for my comfort. At two hundred meters from Sata’s house I yelled at Phin to stop. He pulled off the road, into the foliage. My fingers were locked tight around his waist, and I had to pull a few times to pry myself free.
“They might be watching the house,” I said. “Can you do a quick tour of the perimeter while I go in?”
He nodded. “Good luck.”
“You too.”
With fifteen minutes left on the imp flamethrower sci three“Yes.”losion clock, I jogged to Sata’s. As I neared, I felt a queasy feeling in my stomach that went beyond all the bugs I swallowed. If the house was locked, the only way in was through the green roof, and I had no desire to tangle with the chickulas again.
I approached cautiously, as if I were going to be attacked at any moment—which probably was true. Though paranoia had served me well in the past, it wasn’t going to help me this time. I was painfully aware that I had no plan, that I was unarmed, and that the world might end even despite my best efforts.
When I got close enough I noticed the front door yawing open.
My queasy feeling intensified. I was suddenly concerned about seeing Vicki. She wasn’t technically my Vicki—she was Talon’s wife—but unlike the one I’d saved from the salmonster, this Vicki shared my past, shared my memories. How would I feel when I talked to her? Would I grieve? Would I want her for myself? Talon and Harry hadn’t shown up, and might very well be dead. If that were the case, would this Vicki be mine? Would I even have the right to consider it?
I stopped.
She wasn’t my wife. This wasn’t my earth.
So what was I doing? This was going to be a gigantic, overstuffed sack of fail. I tapped the TEV, which I wore around my waist like a belt buckle. The smartest course of action would be to use it and take everyone I cared about to another earth, one that wasn’t going to implode.
It wasn’t a question of cowardice. Facing certain death wasn’t brave. It was stupid. Let this world sort itself out. I had to take care of myself and my own.
I thought about turning around, about finding Phin and the others and telling them this was a lost cause. If the multiverse were truly infinite, then there were an infinite number of human beings alive right now. This earth gets destroyed, a few billion people die, but that doesn’t even make a dent in infinity. Why should I care?
But I did care.
I cared about the previous earth that had been destroyed, even though it wasn’t my earth. I cared about the evil versions of me, running around committing genocide. I cared about the evil versions of my mentor, wrecking havoc throughout spacetime with their modified TEVs.
But most of all, I cared about Vicki. Even though the Vicki I knew and loved was dead.
If I had to travel to an infinite number of earths to try and rescue her an infinite number of times, I’d do it. Even if I failed each and every time.
Because it’s better to die trying than to live with regret.
I broke into a run, heading for the door, running around the Mustang in the driveway, going into the house low and fast and looking for someone, anyone, to tackle.
I heard the explosive CRACK! of gunfire. An instant later I fell to the floor, one arm pinned to my side, the other stuck behind me.
A nanonet. Impossible to escape from.ering pizzas.”
ed to ">
Alter-Talon appeared from behind a couch, the barrel of the nanonet shotgun still smoking. He was wearing carbon nanotube armor.
“You took your sweet time,” he said, his voice somewhat muffled by the helmet. “I was worried you’d chicken out.”
“Where’s Vicki?” I tried to reach for my TEV to send this asshole to another dimension, but the net was form-fitting. I couldn’t budge a centimeter. It squeezed me so tightly I had trouble taking a deep breath.
“Vicki is at dinner,” Dark Alter-Talon said. He was also holding a weapon. One intimately familiar to me. He also had a nanotube suit on.
“In the lab,” Alter-Talon added, “but she’s not doing so well.”
“You could even say something is eating her,” Dark Alter-Talon said.
The byter.
I squirmed, struggling to sit up. “You SMF sons of—”
Dark Alter-Talon aimed the Glock 1MV Taser at my chest and fired. The wax bullet stung on impact, embedding a Tesla needle in my chest.
The pain was instant and all-consuming. Lightning from the Tesla field came down and struck the needle, zapping me with a million volts. Every muscle in my body seized, like a full-body charley horse.
According to CPD regulations, it was illegal to taze a suspect for longer than a three second burst.
This shock went on longer than three seconds.
After eight seconds I wanted to die.
After fifteen seconds I passed out.
A slap in the face woke me up.
“Where’s the other Talon?” Alter-Talon asked.
“He’s right there,” I said, pointing my chin at Dark Alter-Talon. “Do you need eyes as well as a dick?”
Alter-Talon smiled. “We only need a few of your parts. We don’t mind permanently damaging the rest of you.”
Another long jolt of Tesla lightning. My whole world was reduced to relentless agony. By the time he let up, the tears on my face had steamed off.
“Here’s the thing,” I said, my voice more whimpery than I would have preferred. “Way deep down in that twisted psyche of yours, you’re still like me. You know I won’t tell you shit, because you wouldn’t say shit, either.”
“He’s got a point,” Alter-Talon said.
“Yeah,” Dark Alter-Talon agreed. “We don’t have to like it, though.”
More electricity. More pain. I fainted again. When I was woken, I saw I’d thrown up on the floor next to me. I spat, #em,” Dark Alter-Talon saidllveryone aiming for the nearest Talon and missing.
“We’ve discussed it while you were out,” Dark Alter-Talon said. “And as much fun as torturing you is, we agreed it won’t make you talk.”
“But we also realized there is something we can do that will loosen those lips.”
Through his visor Dark Alter-Talon grinned. “We can hurt Vicki.”
“We can hurt her a lot.”
“And we can make you watch.”
“She’s not my wife,” I said through clenched teeth.
“No, you let your wife die three hours ago. But this one looks just like her. Sounds just like her. I’ll bet she screams just like her as well.”
I closed my eyes. The only way to get out of a nanotube net was to press the release button on the weapon’s stock. But there was no way Phin, Jack, Talon, or anyone else would be able to touch the button while the evil Talons wore nanotube armor.
We’d lost. Game over.
But at least I’d tried.
Chapter 23
T-minus 7 minutes
Talon
“Infrared shows the back room of the house is clear of people,” Yummi said. “But there are some animals on the green roof.”
“Raccoons?” I asked. I’d had problems with raccoons in the past.
“Raccoon stole my woman, then took my job,” Amarillo sang. Once again McGlade and I were crammed into the overhead compartment, and the banana was crooning to my butt.
“Can’t tell,” Yummi said. “Should I drop it?”
While I didn’t want to kill any innocent critters, the world was proba
bly ending in a few minutes and they’d be dead anyway.
“Drop it,” I told her.
Yummi squealed in delight, and I watched her pull the pin on the grenade and drop it out the side window of her craft, onto Sata’s roof ten yards below. Then I held my breath, hoping this very old ordnance was still viable after decades in Phin’s underground locker.
I didn’t have to hold my breath for long. The explosion was so loud is made my ears ring.
“I’m going down,” Yummi said. “Get ready.”
I pushed myself out of the compartment, resting my hand on Yummi’s shoulder. Her door was open, and I watched the green roof get bigger and bigger as we neared. It was in terrible shape, the grass deering pizzas.”
ow watch of his “Yes.”ad and white gunk covering the foliage.
“Not enough space to land. You’ll have to jump.”
When we got within three meters I aimed for a spot of lawn, next to the smoking hole Yummi had just blown in the roof. I managed to contort my body so I was able to jump feet-first, keeping my ankles tight together, rolling when I hit the ground and slapping my hands against the lawn to absorb the impact.
While I was getting to my feet, my lower body began to tingle. Pins and needles, but sharper. I looked at my legs, wondering if I’d somehow hurt myself, and saw I had brown stuff covering my pants.
Brown stuff that moved.
Bugs? Spiders?
Chickulas! Son of a mother humping donkey thumper, I was in a chickula nest!
These were babies. Hundreds of them. Biting me with their venomous beaks as they crawled their way up to waist level.
I went into a slapping frenzy, smushing them against my legs, my thighs, moaning as I whacked myself in the groin before they nibbled on Dr. Richard and the twins.
Then something large landed on my back.
An adult.
A few bites from a full grown chickula could paralyze a man, so I immediately threw myself onto my back, trying to squash the creature, and looked up in time to see Harry McGlade jumping out of the heliplane and heading right for me.
“Geronimo!”
I tried to roll away, but McGlade landed on my back.
One the plus side, he probably squashed the chickula.
On the minus side, I heard, then felt, some ribs crack.
“Sorry, buddy. I wanted to land on something soft. What’s all this brown… OH FUCK THEY’RE BITING ME!”
Harry rolled around, flailing his arms and legs and screaming. That seemed to attract more chickulas, who pounced on him so quickly he was soon covered head to toe.
“THEY CRAWLED IN MY MOUTH! THEY’RE BITING ME ALL OVER! THEY’RE… THEY’RE DELICIOUS!”
I crawled over to the hole in the roof, peering through the smoke. Harry continued to scream, though now instead of smacking the chickulas, he was scooping them into his mouth and chewing wildly.
I looked up, and saw Yummi drop a duffle bag onto the roof, a meter to my right. I grabbed the strap, took a deep, painful breath, and rolled through the hole onto a bed.
Tugging open the zipper on the bag, I felt around for a shotgun, pulling it out by the stock. I used it as a crutch to get to my feet, then did a quick sweep of the room.
Empty.
Baby chickulas began to rain down on me, and a screaming McGlade plummeted#emI checked the time on my DTut the p through the hole, bounced off the bed, and landed face-first on the floor.
“Ow,” he said. “I fell right on my banana.”
“I’m okay,” Amarillo sang, “but I just lost all my money, and leukemia killed my dog.”
My ribs really started to hurt, but the rest of my body was growing numb from all the chickula bites. I wiped a few more off me, then began to strap on weapons from the bag. A TEC-9 machine pistol with a 50 round clip. A Benelli Supernova semi-automatic twelve gauge shotgun. A Smith & Wesson 500 Magnum. And a bandolier with several grenades.
My grandpa was awesome.
“Have you eaten any chickulas yet?” Harry asked. “They taste like chicken-flavored popcorn. If you can get past them squirming in your mouth while you chew, I think they could really catch on.”
“Lock and load, McGlade.”
“I can’t feel my legs.”
“Chickula poison. It should wear off.”
“Really? Cool.”
He tried to take a step and nosedived into the floor. “Ow. Right on the banana again.”
“My heart is aching, and so is my face.”
I couldn
’t wait for McGlade. I opened the only door in the room, and saw it led to Sata’s lab. In the corner was a woman in a nanotube net. My heart soared, then sank when I realized it wasn’t Vicki.
I caught movement in my peripheral vision, followed it, and immediately recognized my wife’s red hair.
Then I saw what was next to her.
A byter. Feeding on Vicki’s blood.
I went to full-blown rage in a microsecond, so blinded by anger that I acted without thinking, tugging the Magnum from my hip holster, charging the bug and emptying the cylinder.
The fifty caliber bullets ricocheted off the byter’s thick exoskeleton without doing any apparent damage, but I sure got the son of a bitch’s attention. Its feeding tube retracted and it met me head-on, skittering across the floor with its mandibles wide open, crashing into my legs with the force of a hyperfootball tackle. I flipped over the bug’s back, dropping the empty revolver, landing hard on my broken ribs.
The pain was so sharp I couldn’t breathe. I managed to roll up onto my side, bringing the shotgun to bear, narrowly getting my finger in the trigger guard before the creature was on me.
It climbed onto my legs, its mandibles sinking deep into the fleshy upper part of my right thigh, uncomfortably close to my junk. I screamed, then shoved the shotgun barrel between me and the bug, angling upward, and fired as fast as I could pull the trigger.
The byter continued to bite me, unaffected by the shotgun blasts. I tried to use the antidote for the nanopoisonemI checked the time on my DTut the p the stock as a lever and managed to pry it off my legs, but it wouldn’t give up its grip on my thigh.
I freed the TEC-9 from under my armpit, aimed at the creature’s black, multifaceted eye, and emptied the magazine. But its eye was just as armored as the rest of it. I’d seen the show Man vs. Byter, and the only thing that could penetrate a byter’s carapace was a Nife.
A Nife!
I yanked the Nife from the sheath and rammed it in the monster’s head, to the hilt.
It released my leg, scurrying backward, ripping the Nife from my hand. I brought up the bullpup and fired, emptying the clip, forcing it back into a corner.
Then I chucked a grenade at it, and went to Vicki, covering her with my body.
The explosion rocked the house. But I didn’t look to see if it had hurt the bed bug. I was too preoccupied with Vicki.
She was cold. Very cold.
I touched her neck through the net, felt a very faint pulse.
“Vicki!” I yelled over the ringing in my ears. “Answer me, Vicki!”
Her eyelids fluttered, then her pupils rolled up into her head.
Chapter 24
T-minus 3 minutes
Alter-Talon and Dark Alter-Talon stood outside the hallway door to Sata’s lab, waiting for the gunfire to stop. The plan was to torture Vicki in front of Talon to make him reveal where the other Talon was, but all of the explosions coming from the lab made this unnecessary.
Vicki was in a nanotube net, and the only way to get her out was to press the release button on the weapon that snared her. Either the byter would i
ncapacitate Talon, or he’d eventually go looking for the nanonet gun. When he did, they would capture him. Alter-Talon had one nanonet left. Once they had him, they could move to a safer earth, and Dr. Patel could begin the operations. They would lie to the doctor about kidnapping her family, she’d believe it, do the surgeries, and then Alter-Talon could start fresh. Maybe wi
th Vicki, if she were still alive. Maybe with a whole harem of Vickis, plucked from alternate worlds.
Or why even restrict himself to that? With his abilities, Alter-Talon could become the supreme ruler of an entire planet. He could have any woman he wanted. Heck, he could have anything he wanted. The only limit was his imagination.
Alter-Talon checked his TEV. Two minutes until the earth ended. He exchanged a glance with his counterpart, and knew he was thinking the same thing: we’re running out of time.
“I taze him, you net him,” Dark Alter-Talon said.
“It’s like you can read my mind. You go low and left.”
Alter-Talon opened the door and went in with the netgun #amCan you very “Yes.”raised, stepping right, quickly sighting Talon kneeling next to Vicki. Dark Alter-Talon moved the opposite direction in a crouch, firing his Glock, the Tesla bullet hitting Talon in the chest, a splinter of electricity coursing down from the ceiling and holding him rigid. Alter-Talon followed up with the nanotube net, binding him up in a nice, neat package.
The byter was in the corner, swiping its legs at its own head, apparently preoccupied with something.
The doctor was where they’d left her.
Everything had worked out according to plan. Now they just needed to get out of the nanosuits, set their TEVs to an alternate earth, and—
“Bad news, guys.”
Who was that? Alter-Talon turned and saw…
Harry McGlade? Alter-Talon hadn’t seen that guy in years. What was he doing here?
And what was he doing with that…
Was that a flamethrower?
“You’re fired,” Harry said.
A stream of flaming liquid shot from McGlade’s weapon, hosing them down. Alter-Talon raised his arms over his face, quickly backing up. The fire hit him full in the chest, roaring in his ears, enveloping his entire body. For a wild moment Alter-Talon panicked, thinking he was going to burn.
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