by Lucy Rinaldi
“Very well, Mercedes” He smirks. Oh, I like him already, he has a cheeky side, and a very strange but somewhat beautiful accent. I really like the way he says my name, it rolls off his tongue like he uses it every day. He opens the door for me to slide into the back seat of the spacious car he’s driving, and closes the door once I’m safely inside. Why my father insists on these ridiculous bulletproof black limos is beyond me!
Alexander is kind of cute, handsome, tall, and very muscular, dark chocolate eyes and dark hair kind of like mine. His hands look very strong, like they could protect a girl from bad things. He climbs into the driver side of the car with a smile on his handsome face. Pulling out into the busy traffic with such grace, he drives me toward my father’s home, just a fifteen minute drive from the airport. I gaze out of the window, the beautiful city of Rome passing us by as we drive north. I love Rome it’s so beautiful here, if only it didn’t hold some of my worst memories.
“How long have you worked for my father?” I make conversation with Alexander; just to past the time until we arrive, it helps me forget the nervous feeling in my stomach. I don’t know why, but his face seems so familiar, like I’ve seen him before in a dream somewhere.
“On and off for twenty three years, or thereabout” He looks at me through the rear view mirror. I stare at his eyes. He reminds me of someone, but I can’t put my finger on who.
“Your English is very good”
“I’m originally from London. My parents moved to American when I was fourteen, I met your father when I was seventeen and he gave me a job”
“And you moved here to work for him?”
“No.” I see his smile through the rear view mirror. Jeez, he’s handsome! Weirdly for me, I’m not sexually attracted to him. It’s weird because I find most men sexually attractive, even if I don’t act on it. And it’s not like this man isn’t attractive because he is, he’s beautiful even. “I work three months here and I live in America the rest of the time” Wow, that’s different I suppose. “I’m surprised you don’t remember me, I’ve worked here since you were a baby. You and I had many a conversation when you were growing up”
“I’m sorry, I don’t remember much of my childhood, or much of anything of the past twenty two years if I’m honest. I remember some things but most seems to have gone” He smiles slightly, while trying not to frown at me through the rear view mirror. He does seem familiar, but I don’t know where from. The truth is, there’s a hell of a lot of my life that’s now gone from my memories. There’s a lot I do remember, but most of that is the terrible things that have happened to me. Of course I remember some of my teenage years with my best friends, but a lot of that’s now gone from my mind also. If I was asked to guess at how much of my life is gone from my memories I’d wager a guess at sixteen years worth, all broken memories. It’s frustrating trying to remember the things you can’t. My violent ex has literally destroyed my memories with his vicious attacks on me!
“If I may be so bold as to say, you look so much like your mother, just as beautiful if not more so”
“You knew my mother?” I asked surprised. “Well, think about it dumbass, he’s worked here years he would have met her” She’s right, of course, but I hadn’t thought of it like that, I’m not so quick on the ball. I used to be, but not anymore.
“Yes, I knew her, she was a good friend” He looks sad, he speaks like she meant a little more to him than a friend.
“Did you like her; I mean we’re you more than friends?” He looks at me as if I’ve just ripped his heart out with my bare hands! Yeah, I see it in his eyes, they were more than friends.
“That is a story for another time Miss, were almost at your fathers” No! Talk to me, I want to know dammit! No one ever talks about my mother, about the person she was before I came along. I’ve never seen any pictures of her when she was young; the woman I remember was a downtrodden battered wife with no life behind her eyes. No one’s ever said anything nice about her to me, but then she was rarely very nice to me. Jeez, I want to know more! I want to press him for more information, but we’ve arrived at my fathers so my line of questioning will have to wait... for now.
We pull up outside my dads overly large house and Alexander opens the door for me to get out. I take a deep breath, before taking his outstretched hand and climbing out. I got a very strange feeling holding his hand, like I’ve held it before sometime, but I’ve never seen this man in my life! Why do I get the feeling he’s a safe person to be around, like I’d be protected by him? “Mercedes, your younger brother and sister will be waiting for you in your father’s study”
“Okay, thank you” I smile at him and his smile hits me; I have seen him before, in a dream I used to have. When I was a little girl he used to sing to me when I was afraid. He used to chase away my nightmares and soothe me back to sleep. “Don’t be stupid, you’re imagining it” Yes of course I am, how ridiculous, what a thought. I don’t know why I’m thinking like that, maybe it’s because he knew my mother and I miss her so much. I must ask him more about her and their friendship later.
Being back here is like being stuck in a nightmare! I’ve missed my siblings though, I can’t deny that. I have six brothers and one sister, five of my brothers are older than me, and one brother and my sister are younger than me. All of us have different mothers, apart from my younger brother and sister, who fortunately share the same mother making them true brother and sister. Something happened to their mother a few years ago and she left them with our father and never came back, no one’s heard from her since. I often wonder how she could have left her children behind with a man like my father, what could have been so bad that she thought she had to leave them? But then no one stays with the control freak for long, his overbearing possessiveness always drives everyone away. Each and every one of our mothers upped and left, but all of them took their children with them, even though my mother never actually left him she just took her own life to get away from him! I know she loved me deep down, I know she did in her own way, even at the end.
I can’t wait to see my little brother and sister it’s been three years since we were together. The guilt of leaving them behind still haunts me, wondering if my baby sister had to go through the same things I had to. I’ve always clung to the hope that I’m wrong. “Your other brothers are also here, Miss. They arrived last night”
“All of them?” Alexander nods and smiles. Wow, all of us together, that hasn’t happened since I was fifteen! What’s going on? Why are we all here? What could be so important? I’m greeted by one of my father’s maids, a short gray haired woman dressed in a black and white maids outfit; she smiles at me from the top of the stone steps that lead up to the front door. I look around my surroundings, nothings changed in the three years I’ve been away, the gardens still as beautiful as ever, shroud in flowers and stone statues of naked figures. One very large naked statue of a woman, rather like Aphrodite is situated in the middle of the garden. She sits on her hip with her legs to the side of her, she’s holding a large vase, water pouring out of it and into the bottom. It’s the most beautiful water fountain I’ve ever seen! I walk the stone steps to greet the woman waiting for me. I know her well, she’s been here for as long as I can remember, and these days that’s not a lot!
“Miss Mercedes, welcome back”
“Thank you, Rosa” She shoots me a warm smile, she’s always been such a nice woman not a bad bone in her body, and we all like her even though she speaks predominantly Italian. I try very hard not to speak the language if I can help it! I turn and wave with a smile to Alexander. He winks at me and smiles.
Rosa and I walk through the long hall of my fathers home; all the walls here are filled with paintings of all kinds from Monet, Picasso, boats and animals, naked women, and even a copy of the Mona Lisa. There’s an overly long white marble table in the middle of the hall, it’s filled with silver and gold framed photographs. I stop to gaze at them. The familiar faces of my brothers and sister shine back at
me, eight individual pictures of us all in gold frames sit smack in the middle of the table in an arch shape, all in order of age. Just in front of them is a picture of my father, a man amongst his children, for all my father’s faults he’s as handsome as his children. To the left of the table is a large picture of my father and all of his children together, a small family portrait. Next to that is four small sliver framed photos of my older brother’s children, three small boys belonging to my eldest brother Vinnie, sweet handsome little boys, all dark haired and brown eyed smiling for the camera, each one just as handsome as their father. The photo to the left of them is one of a little girl, blue eyes and blonde hair, my brother Gino’s little girl. She has the most beautiful face, and she reminds me of what an angel would look like. There are many other pictures on that table, all of family, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and even some of friends of the family. Then one more, just one more, a tiny silver frame about the size of a golf ball, a picture of a little boy about three years old, his hazel brown eyes shining in the light of the camera, his dark chocolate hair hanging over his little forehead, his beautiful olive skin and pearly white teeth so beautifully emphasizing his features. I turn my face away from his gaze and keep walking, I can’t linger too long because looking at him hurts.
“Shall I show you to your room?”
“No, it’s okay, I’m sure I can manage” It’s not like I don’t know the way is it? This was my home for a long time. I walk the long stone spiral staircase to my old bedroom. Nothings changed, its just the same as the day I left it. My oak four poster bed with the white lace drapes and white satin sheets, my oak dresser with all my makeup and perfume that I left here still sitting on top of it, my walk in closet still full of my clothes, and my bathroom on the left of my bedroom still white and crisp. I sigh to myself and walk over to the French window and open the door to the balcony on the other side. It’s so hot here in Rome, it’s late afternoon, on a Tuesday in August, 3.15pm to be exact. I really hate the sticky heat it makes me agitated. I take my jacket off and throw it on my bed, before sitting down on the bottom of it. I really should call Blake even though it’s early there, I need to hear his voice. I don’t feel good about being here, and I know he’ll calm me. I just need to tell him that I love him and that I’ll be home soon, and when I am, I’m never leaving him again, not for anything. I fish my cell out of my jacket pocket and switch it on; typical I’ve got six text messages. I open the first one, it’s from Sam; ugh she’s probably going to give me a load of abuse about leaving and not telling her I was coming here.
Sender: Samantha McLaughlin
To: Mercedes Moretti
Why did you go there? What the hell is wrong with you? I swear, if you’re not back here in two days I’m telling Blake everything! And I do mean everything, Sadie!
Fuck!
She wouldn’t dare. Would she? She wouldn’t do that to me. I hope she won’t, she’s the only person apart from Clyde, who knows anything about my life here, and she swore she’d never tell anyone. She promised my secret was safe with her, and she’s been true to her word so far. The only trouble is I know her, if she thinks I’m in danger and the only way to help me is to blab then she will. I best text her some bullshit I know she won’t believe, but I need to make her see I’m okay I can’t risk her telling Blake anything.
Sender: Mercedes Moretti
To: Samantha McLaughlin
SAMANTHA!!!!!
Get a grip! My dad’s ill, that’s the only reason I came here. Do you really think I want to be here? Because I don’t! But he needs me and I can’t leave until I know he's okay. I'm sorry I left without seeing you first, but there wasn’t time. Please don’t worry about me bestie, I’m fine, really. I love you, mucho. I’ll call you 10pm your time. Xoxo
I hope that satisfies her for now, even though I highly doubt it, she’s a total cow and will have much more to say on the matter. Two texts from Elijah. Ugh! I didn’t even read them, I just pressed delete; he has nothing to say that I want to hear. I wish he’d get the message that we’re done! Oh, a text from Alex? Why would he be texting me?
Sender: Alex Benedict
To: Mercedes Moretti
Sadie, Sam's told me a little of your past. Don’t be mad at her she was concerned about you and I made her tell me. Be careful, Sadie. I’m begging you, don’t do anything stupid; my brother would be heartbroken if anything happened to you. If you should ever need me; for any reason night or day, just holler I’ll always be there. Your friend, Alex. Xoxo
Oh. My. God! The fucking bitch! How dare she? How the fuck am I supposed to look Alex in the fucking face now he knows that crap about me? Fuck! I’m so angry with her, she swore to me, she fucking promised! How can I ever trust her again? I hate these time zones, it feels like I got texts from them yesterday when in reality I didn’t, or maybe I did, I guess it just depends on how you look at things.
Sender: Mercedes Moretti
To: Alex Benedict
I'll be careful. Don’t worry about me, Alex, I’m a big girl now. Please take care of Blake for me, he's my everything. Thank you, Alex. If I should ever need you I’ll be sure to holler. Your Friend also, Sadie. Xoxo
P.S tell your girlfriend, I’m going to sow her big mouth up!
Bitch! I swear!!
Two texts from Blake! My heart beats a little faster, and I smile to myself. On the plane ride over here I sat bored out of my head and changed the way his name is written in my phone, seeing it flash with his message attached makes me smile. I open the first message, I can’t wait to see what he’s written me. Jeez, I’m like a love sick teenager!
Sender: Dr. Blake Benedict (My Everything)
To: Mercedes Moretti
Thank you for the lovely note, it was extremely considerate of you. I love you so much, too, baby. I do hope your father gets well soon so you can come home to me. I do wish you'd have woken me, I would have liked to have kissed you goodbye. I’m missing you like crazy already. You're my everything and more, baby girl.
Oh, P.S, what the heck does Xoxo mean?
That last part makes me laugh out loud, how innocent and clueless does he sound? My sweet prince, oh how I love him. I open the next message with a wide smile on my face and a warm feeling in my heart.
Sender: Dr. Blake Benedict (My Everything)
To: Mercedes Moretti
Is it time for you to come home yet???? Wishful thinking I know, I doubt you’ve even landed yet. God, I miss you terribly. I really hope you’re okay, baby. Come back to me soon safe and sound. I love you with all that I am. Your Everything, Blake. Xoxo <<<< note the Xoxo. Sam told me what it means.
He’s so sweet he makes my heart melt, how can he be so sweet to me all the time? I wonder what he’s doing right now. I’ll call him and leave him a voice mail, it’ll put his mind at rest when he listens to it, he’ll know I’m okay and I’ve arrived safely. I find his name in my contact list and press call, it rings twice before he answers. “Mercy?” Crap, I’ve woken him, nice one Mercedes!
“Hey. I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m sorry”
“No, I’m glad you did. What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, I just wanted to hear your voice” I love the way he worries about me it makes me feel loved. It’s kind of a weird feeling because even though I should have felt that way with Elijah I just didn’t. “I just got to my dads. I haven’t seen him yet I wanted to call you first. I can’t believe how much I miss you, Blake” I feel a chunk in my throat, why do I feel like this? What’s wrong with me? I’m like a pathetic geeky teenager with a massive crush on the high school jock.
“I miss you just as much, baby. I don’t know how I’m going to function without you here with me”
“I wish you were here with me” The words are out of my mouth before I have chance to stop myself; I rub my forehead and roll my eyes at myself.
“I wish that, too, baby girl. More than anything, I wish I was there for you right now”
“I know, baby”
“Did you just call me baby?” I can hear the amusement in his voice.
Pig!
I don’t know why I called him that, it just slipped out my mouth. I’ve never called a man that before. “Yes, got a problem with that?”
“No, I like it”
“Good,” I smile to myself, because I can tell his smile is probably splitting his cheeks apart. “I have to go Blake; I should go down to my brothers and sister. Please get some sleep my sweet prince, I’ll call you tonight, well tonight for me, I want your voice to be the last voice I hear before I fall to sleep, so my dreams are good ones. I love you, Blake, don’t ever doubt that”
“I know, baby. I know. I love you, too, no matter what... Always” No matter what? If only. Wait, I hope Sam hasn’t said anything to him she shouldn’t have or I swear I’ll kill her until she’s completely dead!!
“Bye my sweet prince. Dream of me?”
“Always. Bye, baby girl”
I end the call and stash my phone in my jacket pocket; I’m ready to face my family now I’ve spoken to Blake. I stand up and look at myself in the mirror, I look so tanned all of a sudden, the Italian in me showing through.
~ ~ ~
Chapter Thirteen.
I leave my room and walk down the stairs to my father’s study. I don’t know why I feel so nervous but my stomachs in knots. I open the door and I’m knocked back by the full force of my little sister lunching herself at me. “Mercedes, I have missed you!” Her arms are so tight around my neck that I can’t breathe!
“I missed you, too, but can you let go before you break my neck?” Giggling, she lets go of me and grabs my hand, god she’s an airhead! And boy has she grown, she’s beautiful, tall and graceful, her long dark brown hair falling down around her back and shoulders, her tight black jeans and black shirt make her look so grown up. My little brother pulls me into a tight hug and kisses my cheek. Wowzers, he’s massive! When did he start working out? He’s gorgeous in black jeans and black tank top, his arms are ripped with muscle, and his rugged messed up black hair really suites him. My little sister Isabella is fourteen years old, she was eleven last time I saw her, but she no longer looks like a little girl nor does she act like one. My little brother Giovanni is now nineteen and like our sister has beautiful hazel brown eyes. My sister pulls me by my hand to the U shaped couch. The three of us, my brother, my sister and I talk like we’ve never been apart, god how I’ve missed them. I spent a lot of time with them when they were little; I looked after them as if I was their mother during the eighteen months I was here. When my father took me from my mother, I was thirteen years old, young and innocent; he made damn sure he took that from me as well! I spent almost two years here after my mother died. I never wanted to be here, but I fell deep into myself hate, living day by day, my mind a blank never really knowing what I was doing. It took me two years to wake up from that, and when I did I left and never looked back.