The Cinderella Governess

by Georgie Lee

  ‘You mean your family?’ he prodded.

  ‘I don’t have a family, not a real one. My parents, whoever they were, left me for the school to raise when I was a baby,’ she nearly whispered the words as she stopped to face him. It was the first time she’d admitted her illegitimacy to a stranger. It wasn’t something Madame Dubois or any of the teachers had ever mentioned. A few days before leaving the school, Madame Dubois had cautioned her about revealing it in her new position, though the warning hadn’t been necessary. Joanna knew how the world viewed illegitimate children. ‘The teachers at the school raised me.’

  ‘And you must be about nineteen?’ He scrutinised her with the same curiosity as when they’d first met.

  Joanna nodded, wondering what her age had to do with anything, but she didn’t care. For the first time since her arrival in Hertfordshire, here was someone besides Major Preston who sympathised with her plight. Unlike the major, who was all but forbidden to speak to her, Vicar Carlson could listen and perhaps help. ‘What am I going to do?’

  ‘As someone who’s supposed to guide his flock...’ he flapped his hand at the church as though he wasn’t certain this was his duty ‘...I’ll tell you what you can do. Headstrong girls like to be in charge. Of course they can’t be with the governess, but they’ll try. The trick is to give them choices, but make sure they’re deciding between two things you want.’

  ‘Like studying French or Geography?’

  ‘Exactly. Make them think they’re in charge, even when they aren’t.’

  ‘I’ve never heard anything like this.’ And if it helped, it might be her last hope of staying on and making Madame Dubois proud.

  ‘I used to do it with my daughter, though it didn’t always work.’ He looked to the headstone with the violets. Sadness crossed over his expression like a cloud in front of the moon. ‘After my wife died, I spoiled Jane. It made her headstrong. The older she grew, the more obstinate she became, like me.’

  ‘I’m very sorry.’

  He smiled at her, tender like the fathers used to be with their daughters before they left them at the school. ‘Don’t be. Her troubles are passed now, but yours aren’t and we must focus on those.’

  He offered her a few more suggestions on how to deal with the girls.

  Then, in the distance, the bells from the village church began to ring. She didn’t want to leave the vicar or the tranquillity of this corner of the world, but she must. ‘I’m sorry, I have to go. Thank you so much for your help.’

  ‘It was my pleasure. Please, feel free to return whenever you want. I’m often here reading during the day. I like the quiet. And good luck with your students.’

  ‘Thank you and goodbye.’

  Joanna hurried down the path towards Huntford Place. The shadows of the trees didn’t consume her as they had on the walk here. It was the light coming through the branches she noticed instead. She didn’t dread facing the girls, but looked forward to it with a new resolve, eager to try Vicar Carlson’s suggestions, confident for the first time in days she might at last settle into her position.

  She was well along the path when male voices from somewhere up around the bend caught her notice.

  ‘Why are you trying to stop me from visiting him?’

  ‘Because you don’t understand the situation.’

  Joanna crept cautiously forward and peeked around a thick oak tree in the bend of the road. Up ahead, two men had dismounted and now stood arguing while their horses grazed nearby. Joanna’s fingers tightened on the smooth bark. It was Major Preston and his brother, Lord Pensum.

  ‘If you expect me to linger in your shadow, doing nothing except waiting for providence to make me an earl, you’re mistaken,’ Major Preston countered.

  ‘Now you know what it’s like to be me.’ His brother grabbed the reins of his horse from where they dangled below the animal’s nose. Lord Pensum stepped into the stirrup and threw one leg over the top of his horse. ‘You think I have all the advantage, but I don’t. Then again you’ve never been able to look beyond yourself and all your need for aggrandisement to realise it.’

  I shouldn’t eavesdrop. Trying not to be seen, Joanna crept through the thick underbrush filling the U-shaped bend, determined to slip past the feuding brothers. She winced with each snapping twig and rustle of leaves, trying not to draw attention to herself, but it was almost impossible. She was just on the other side of the large oak tree, about to step onto the path, when someone grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back. Lord Pensum galloped by on his grey horse, narrowly missing her as she hit the solid chest of the man behind her.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Major Preston’s chin brushed her temples as he spoke, his voice as tight as her insides.

  His firm arm against Joanna’s stomach made her heart beat faster than the near collision with the horse. She leaned deeper into him and his fingers twitched against her hip. She reached behind her, ready to grasp his thighs and steady herself like she would against a wall after a shock. Before her fingertips could touch the buckskin of his breeches, she clutched the side of her dress, her breath catching as he shifted against her. She peered up into his dark eyes made more severe by the alternating shadows and sunlight piercing the branches overhead. If she tilted her head, closed her eyes, she might experience his firm lips against hers.

  ‘Miss Radcliff?’ Major Preston nudged, easing his hold on her.

  ‘Yes, I’m fine.’ She stumbled out of his grasp, mortified at almost losing her head over him. ‘Much better, in fact, for not being ground into the forest floor.’

  ‘I’m glad I could keep you from becoming one with the fallen leaves.’ He smiled as he bent over to pluck his hat off a bush. His breeches pulled tight over his buttocks when he dipped down then rose, towering over her like the oak above them. ‘May I escort you back to Huntford Place?’

  Joanna jerked her attention from his thighs to his face. To walk with him would mean the opportunity to listen to his commanding voice and enjoy more of the conversation they’d indulged in last night. It also risked them being seen together. It might be innocent, but people wouldn’t regard it as such and her position with the Huntfords was already at risk.

  ‘I can’t.’ She slipped through the last few brambles to return to the path. ‘I must be getting back.’

  ‘I promise to only go as far as the edge of the woods, and then I’ll leave you to continue on. I wouldn’t want to place your reputation or employment in jeopardy.’

  She hesitated. Being alone with him was dangerous, but she wanted companionship and something pleasant before she returned to the annoyance of her work. ‘Yes, company would be lovely, especially if any more galloping horses should happen by.’

  ‘Then allow me to fetch mine so we’ll be equally matched should we encounter any.’ He laughed as he pushed through the brush. The stiff branches raked his long legs before he slipped behind the tree. He soon rounded the turn, leading a large white horse with a patch of brown above his nose.

  ‘A magnificent animal,’ she remarked. ‘Not at all the mill-horse you painted him to be at the ball.’

  ‘Careful what you say around Duke, I don’t want it going to his head. He’s already difficult enough to control.’ He patted the animal’s side and it gave an indignant snort.

  ‘I don’t believe a word he says about you.’ She reached up to stroke Duke’s long nose, making the skin beneath his hair twitch.

  ‘Now you’ve done it, he won’t listen to me for the rest of the day.’ He clicked the horse into a walk and the three of them set off towards Huntford Place.

  They walked side by side in silence, the twittering birds and the rustle of leaves settling in between them. It wasn’t an awkward or uncomfortable quiet, but familiar, as though this wasn’t the first time they’d enjoyed the forest alone together. With each of his sure steps, Joanna w
as keenly aware of the shift of his muscles, the crinkle of his leather gloves as he tightened or loosened his grip on the reins. It wasn’t the easy movements of a man at peace, but the constant fidgeting of one with something on his mind. Whatever troubled him, it was none of her business. However, she hadn’t been this conscious of another person since the nights at school when she could tell which one of her friends was upset by their constant turning beneath the coverlet, or a sob stifled by a pillow. She couldn’t pretend to ignore his difficulties any more than she could have her friends’.

  ‘I didn’t mean to intrude on you and your brother,’ she offered. ‘Is everything well?’

  ‘It is.’ Major Preston banged his hat against his thigh to free it of dust and leaves. ‘Except we differ on how to resolve a long-standing conflict with Lord Helmsworth.’

  ‘Is it massive enough to divide brothers?’

  ‘It is when it threatens the income of Pensum Manor.’ He turned his hat over in his hands, pausing before he settled it down on his hair. ‘Miss Radcliff, what I’m about to tell you isn’t commonly known and would, like the revealing of Miss Huntford’s secret, do a great deal of damage to my family.’

  ‘I won’t tell anyone.’ She wouldn’t do anything to harm him. He’d been too kind to her, and the thrill of being taken into his confidence was as powerful at the grip of his hand on the reins.

  He explained to her the dispute about the land as his feet covered the imprints of his brother’s horse’s hooves in the packed dirt. ‘My family isn’t as wealthy as we’ve allowed society to believe. My brother is worried that if we reveal our desperate need for access to the river on the disputed land, Lord Helmsworth might use the information to place pressure on our creditors to strangle us.’

  ‘Is he really so mean?’ She’d heard a little about him from Sir Rodger and Lady Huntford. He seemed more eccentric than spiteful, preferring to keep to himself at his estate and never venturing to London.

  ‘Not the gentleman I remember from his Christmas parties when I was a boy. He changed after his daughter’s death. It made him irascible and less willing to listen to reason, like Edward.’ He plucked a thorn from his breeches and flicked it away. ‘My brother thinks I can come home, sit around and watch the seasons change, but I can’t. He’s been handed everything by right of birth, he doesn’t understand what it is to earn achievement or what it gives to a man, and what it’s like to leave it all behind.’

  ‘Maybe he does realise it and that’s why he fights with you.’ They came to a narrow pass in the path between two large yew trees. He stopped to let her go ahead before joining her with Duke. ‘Perhaps he wonders if he’s worthy of having so much responsibility placed on him because he’s the heir and not because he’s earned it. Failing to have a child might reinforce his lack of value beyond his place of honour in your family?’

  He didn’t answer straight away, but it was clear from the slight twist of his lips that he was mulling over what she’d said. It would be nice to think she might make a difference to someone while she was here. The Huntford girls certainly weren’t benefiting from her presence.

  ‘I suppose it’s possible. I’ve never considered it from his perspective.’ Duke’s harness jingled as he tossed up his head before settling back into his steady gait. Luke switched the reins to his other hand and patted the horse’s neck.

  ‘Perhaps if you put your grievances against him aside, he might, too. After all, it takes two people to maintain a quarrel.’

  He met her eyes, the brown in them appearing lighter with his earnestness. ‘What you suggest isn’t easy to do, not after so many years.’

  ‘It might be easier if you appreciate how fortunate you are to have him. Not all of us have family to argue with. Sometimes, when Frances and Catherine are sniping at each other, I want to grab them by their scruffs and shake them until they realise how lucky they are to have one another.’ She raised her fists before her as if she held the girls. Then she opened her fingers and dropped her arms to her sides. ‘All I’ve ever had were the teachers and my friends.’

  ‘What happened to your parents?’

  ‘They died when I was very young.’ She didn’t dare tell him she knew nothing about them. She never had. They’d left her on the school’s front steps with only the ripped piece of paper with her name on it and a blanket. She’d learned long ago not to ask Madame Dubois about them since there were no details Madame Dubois could give her and nothing she could do to change the truth. ‘They entrusted me to the teachers to raise.’

  ‘Then the school has succeeded.’ He fixed her with an appreciative smile which made her prouder than when she’d won first prize for French. ‘You’re a very wise young lady, Miss Radcliff. Miss Huntford doesn’t realise how lucky she is to have you.’

  ‘I don’t think she viewed my interrupting her liaison, or any of my efforts to influence her, as lucky.’

  ‘It’s certainly something to write to your headmistress about.’ He laughed, the deep sound silencing the birds.

  ‘Heavens, no.’ She didn’t want Madame to believe anything was wrong here, or to think Joanna wasn’t living up to her expectations. It was better to pretend everything was well and not to complain. There was little anyone could do about it even if she did.

  They reached the brook and Major Preston led his horse across, skipping every other stone while Duke splashed through the water beside him. Once on the far side, Major Preston turned the horse in a wide circle to watch her cross. ‘Do you need my help?’

  ‘No, I can manage.’ Joanna took up the hem of her dress and stepped onto the first stone. She fixed on him as she moved to the next one. The force of his presence drew her across the water more than the need to return to her duties. She envied whatever lady caught his interest at the house party for she’d be very lucky to have him for a husband. Marriage and a family were so far outside Joanna’s reach, she didn’t dare imagine obtaining it, especially not with a man like Major Preston.

  Her foot landed on the loose stone in the middle, pitching her forward. In a flash, Major Preston rushed to her, catching her about the waist before she could hit the jagged rocks sticking up out of the stream bed. Her back arched over his forearm as they stayed linked together above the splashing water. She grasped his arms, bracing herself against the anticipation building deep inside her from the pressure of his fingers against her back. Staring up into his concerned face, the blue sky bright above him, for the first time she understood why Grace had given in to her urges, despite the risks. A moment with a man like Major Preston could make a woman forget the danger of his touch and his flattery.

  She didn’t move, nor did he try to right her. As they held on to one another, the flowing water indifferent to them, she wondered if what she’d thought impossible a few steps ago might be within her grasp. Even if it was, surrendering to him would mean defying everyone and every responsibility waiting for them outside these woods, and there was no guarantee the passion would last. Duty to his family commanded him, as did her duty to Madame Dubois. They might withstand it for a short while, but eventually it would wear away at them like the water did the mud under the loose stone.

  ‘It seems I’m meant to protect you from a number of dangers today.’ His frown eased into a smile. ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘Yes.’ The forest spun as he righted her. No. She wasn’t the same Joanna who’d started across the stream.

  He held her hand as he led her over the remaining stones to the bank. Leather and cotton gloves separated their skin, but it couldn’t smother the heat of his firm grip which drove away the cold which had surrounded her since her first day in Hertfordshire.

  On the other side he let go and she straightened her pelisse from where his grasp had twisted it and silently shook herself out of her foolishness. There was no connection between them, there never had been and there never could be.

&
nbsp; The bells of the church rang out over the countryside again, marking the quarter-hour, and panic replaced the fading passion, making her stomach flutter.

  ‘I must get back at once.’ With half a forest between her and Huntford Place, she wasn’t sure how she’d reach the house in time to collect Catherine from the drawing master or the twins from their nurse.

  ‘It’ll be quicker if we ride.’ He stepped into the saddle and tossed his thick leg over the curving leather. With his back erect and his feet set firmly in the stirrups, he was the very image of the gallant knights she’d read about in so many stories. Then he held out his hand to her, entreating her to join him.

  She hesitated, as shocked by his offer as the muscular curve of his arm beneath his fawn-coloured coat. The young maids in her old books might have won the hearts of princes, but this wasn’t a fairy tale. Nothing in her life was. She should run for the house, but her feet wouldn’t move. Instead, she slipped her hand in his and raised her foot to cover his in the stirrup. With a powerful tug, he pulled her up so fast she let out a surprised yelp before he settled her across the saddle in front of him.

  Their closeness made her dizzier than being up so high. She held on to the edge of the leather saddle as he slipped his arms on either side of her, took up the reins and kicked the horse into a canter. The wind whipped her cheeks, dampening the heat spilling through her from the steady rocking of their bodies together in motion with the stallion beneath them. Each landing of the horse’s hooves against the ground made Major Preston’s chest press deeper into her shoulders. She’d never experienced something as thrilling as riding this fast, or having Major Preston behind her. His breath caressed her cheek as he stared straight on. His thighs were solid beneath her, every shift of his muscles as he commanded the animal radiating up through her skirt. His arms kept her anchored in front of him, stiff and tight with his control of the reins. The horse turned and she lost her grip on the smooth leather. Without thinking, she clutched his leg to steady herself and felt the low rumble of a groan through his chest. She was too afraid to fall, to snap herself out of this dream to let go, or do anything but sink into him and the steady, rocking gait carrying them through the woods.