Fire After Dark

by Sadie Matthews

  ‘Is something wrong, Dominic?’ I venture. De Havilland has jumped up next to me and is roosting on his paws like a long black fluffy chicken. I run my fingers through his soft fur and his purr rumbles away.

  Dominic turns to look me and his eyes are flashing. ‘I’ve tried to keep away,’ he bursts out. ‘But it’s killing me. I have to know who that man is and what you’re doing with him.’ He crosses the floor towards me, reaching me in two strides. ‘Please, Beth. Who is he?’

  I stare up at him, keeping calm by concentrating on the slow steady purr under my fingertips, De Havilland sitting unperturbed beside me. Am I going to lie or am I going to tell the truth? I have a feeling that what I say now will influence the course of everything.

  ‘He’s a friend,’ I say softly. It’s hard having Dominic so near to me and yet unable to touch him. ‘A friend who’s promised to help me.’

  He pounces on my words. ‘Help you do what?’

  I wait for a long time before I speak, staring at his face. I’ve known him such a short time and it already means so very much to me. I don’t know if what I’m about to say will change everything, but I do know that I don’t want things to stay the way that they are. Then I say very softly, ‘He’s going to help me enter your world.’

  Dominic’s face drains of colour. His lips are pale and hardly move when he says, ‘How is he going to do that?’

  ‘You don’t think I can.’ All my emotions boil up to the surface, and I fix him with an intense look. ‘But I can, and I want to, and he’s going to help me.’

  ‘Oh my God.’ Dominic sinks down into an armchair and puts his face in his hands. I know what’s racing through his mind: images of James and me, together. In his head, I’m letting James do all the things to me that he has sworn he’ll never do. It must be torturing him; I can understand that. When he looks up at me at last, his dark eyes are tormented. ‘You’d let him do that.’

  I lean forward towards him, desperate to make him understand. ‘I want to be close to you, I want to be with you. If this is what it takes, then I want to do it.’

  ‘No,’ he says, sounding broken. ‘Not that. I can take giving you up, but I can’t stand this.’

  I get up and go to him, sinking to the floor and putting my hands on his legs, as if in supplication. ‘But you don’t have to,’ I say pleadingly. ‘It doesn’t have to be him. It could be you.’

  Slowly he uncovers his face and looks at me, half desperate and half reluctant. ‘You really mean it? It’s what you want?’

  ‘Yes. It’s true. And if it’s not you, I’ll find someone else, if that’s the only way.’

  Our eyes are locked on one another. I’ve never felt more complete than when looking at him. He leans down and lifts me slowly towards him. ‘Beth,’ he says throatily. ‘God, I want you so much. You don’t know what you’re asking. But it kills me to think of you with anyone else.’

  ‘Then let me be with you.’ I lift his hand to my mouth and kiss it. I take one of his fingers in my mouth and suck it gently, wrapping my tongue around it, loving it. He watches, his eyes becoming hooded as desire fills them. I move closer to him, release his hand and let it slide behind my head and pull me towards him. Slowly, tantalisingly, our mouths touch and press together. I feel the warmth of his tongue slid over my lips, and I automatically part them to grant him entry. His tongue explores me, and I breathein his familiar, delicious taste. I press back into his mouth and we are lost in our kiss, his hand on my head pulling me ever closer to him.

  At last we part, breathless. Our eyes are locked, the heat between us incredible, and then he says, ‘I saw you. That night. In here.’

  ‘You mean . . .’

  ‘Yes. When you were alone.’ His eyes glitter darkly. ‘It was extraordinary.’

  ‘Did it . . . make you happy?’

  ‘Happy?’ He strokes my hand. ‘I’ve never known anything like it.’

  I smile, embarrassed but pleased. ‘It was only for you.’

  ‘I know. It was a beautiful gift.’ He laughs and adds, ‘Let’s hope old Mr Rutherford on the floor above me wasn’t looking out, or he’ll have finally had that heart attack he’s been talking about.’

  In that moment, we both relax.

  ‘Will you stay?’ I ask.

  ‘I don’t know how I could leave,’ he replies, his eyes glazed with lust.

  ‘Then come on.’ I stand up, take his hand, and we go together to the bedroom.

  He undresses me slowly, stopping all the time to kiss the skin that he is uncovering. The feel of his lips brushing mine, the tip of his tongue lapping gently against me sends my nerve endings haywire. When I’m in my underwear, I can’t resist the need to touch him in return any longer.

  ‘Let me,’ I say, running my hands up under his shirt and sweater, and he does. I pull his sweater up over his head, then unbutton the shirt slowly, kissing his torso where each loosened button reveals his bare chest. I can see from the shape of his jeans that his erection is standing proud, eager to be free, and I unbutton those too, sliding them down over his long, firm thighs.

  When he is in just his boxer shorts, I take his hand and lead him over to the bed. We lie down together, stroking our hands along the shapes of one another’s bodies, me taking in his muscular hardness and he the soft curves of my breasts and yielding belly.

  I slide my hand downwards, brushing it lightly over the trail of black hair that leads from his navel to the waist of his boxers. When I touch the velvety top of his penis, it throbs and moves under my hand.

  I run my hand up and down the hot shaft for a moment, then slowly I bend to kiss his stomach, licking the skin gently as I descend towards his erection.

  He moans slightly. ‘Oh, Beth . . . that’s so good.’

  I move so that I can pull the boxer shorts down, sliding them down his calves and over his ankles. Then I edge my way slowly up his body, until I am straddling his thighs. His eyes are glazed, taking in my breasts still confined by my bra and the knickers concealing my sex from his gaze.

  I bend down over his length, letting my hair drift lightly over his skin. I grasp the shaft in both of my hands, moving the skin gently.

  ‘You’re so big,’ I say softly.

  He says nothing but his lips are parted as he draws a ragged breath.

  ‘I want to kiss you, take you in my mouth and suck you,’ I say throatily, gazing straight into his eyes and seeing his lust spark up a level as I speak. Then I stoop downwards and breathe lightly on the tip of his penis, its softest, sweetest part. I put my tongue and lick around it, curling my tongue round its head and then I take it between my lips and let the head fill my mouth as far as it can. One hand keeps hold of its hard length, while the other slips underneath him and plays lightly with his balls, my forefinger rubbing at the spot beneath them, the place that makes him gasp when I touch it.

  He moans, and his hips buck lightly, pushing his penis deeper into my mouth. For long minutes, I suck and play with him, revelling in the effect I’m having on him, the mounting desire in his eyes, and the way his hard thigh is pressing against my hot, damp sex and stimulating my clitoris.

  ‘Beth,’ he says huskily, ‘I can’t take much more, I’ll come in your mouth . . .’

  Part of me wants him to come, but I’m also greedy for myself. I take my mouth away from him and move so that I can take my knickers off, then I straddle him again, sliding myself further up him. I take my weight on my knees and position myself over him, holding his penis straight up, away from his belly. His eyes are heavy, lidded with anticipation of what I’m going to do, as I bring myself down to his tip, letting it play in the slippery wetness of my sex. I’m hungry for his swollen shaft, everything in me demanding it, but I’m also enjoying this tantalising moment.

  Dominic puts his hands out onto my hips, running them around and over my bottom.

  ‘Do it,’ he says, ‘I need you.’

  At his words, I press myself down, plunging him into my depth, engulfing him. He
fills me up and for a moment I think he’s pierced something in me, he’s so far and deep inside. I gasp and shake my head, arching my back at the voluptuous sensation. His hands move my hips in time to his movements and we are in perfect synchronisation, my body meeting his thrusts so that we both draw in fierce gasps as he hits a sweet spot inside me.

  The power begins to build within me and I can feel Dominic’s speed increase. My long oral worship of his cock has put him in the grip of an explosive orgasm, and he’s pounding towards it. His excitement has an incredible effect on me. Every time he hits home, the feeling grows more intense, a strong, vibrant, an electrical thrill; and then his thighs stiffen underneath me, his face contorts with the intensity of the physical sensation pulsing through him, and his orgasm rocks him, bursting out inside me and instantly I’m tipped over the edge, my climax convulsing me with pleasure and wringing me out, so that I fall onto his chest as it leaves me.

  Dominic sighs as he comes back to himself, wraps his arms round me and strokes my hair.

  ‘That felt like coming home.’

  ‘I don’t want you to leave me again,’ I say, running my hand over his skin. It’s damp from our exertions. ‘I want to be with you. I’ll do anything. So, will you show me? Will you let me in?’

  He clasps my hand tightly in his, and runs his mouth along my shoulder. Then, looking deep into my eyes, he says, ‘Yes, I will. I’ll take you there. I promise.’

  A feeling of deep calm fills me, even though I know that I’ve won a battle that may not bring me happiness.

  ‘Thank you,’ I say softly.

  He stares at me with dark, dark eyes, and says nothing.

  THE THIRD WEEK

  Chapter Fourteen

  Beth

  Thank you for a wonderful night.

  I’m away this weekend on business, but we’ll start on Monday. I’ll collect you after work and we’ll go to dinner.

  D x

  I find the note on the empty pillow next to me when I wake. I read it several times, then hold it to my chest, staring at the ceiling. Here is the proof that I’ve succeeded in the task I set myself. Dominic is going to take me down that dark path into a place I can’t really imagine. I have no idea what awaits me. I’ve never even been smacked, not seriously. My parents didn’t spank me, and my brothers fought with each other rather than me.

  Now I’ve asked the man I want most in the world to do that to me. And I have no concept of what that really means.

  I get up and pad towards the bathroom. Until it begins, I have the weekend. James is taking me out, the weather is still hot and sunny, I’m young and it’s summertime. And there’s a delicious man in my life. So all in all, I think as I climb out of bed, life could be considerably worse.

  The whole weekend is permeated by the knowledge of what awaits me. Even while I’m enjoying the theatre and the glitzy restaurant, or soaking up the sun and taking a river trip, the sense of dark, excited apprehension is always with me.

  James wants to know what’s going on with Dominic – ‘Quite a fiery character, I thought,’ he says, ‘but such a looker! No wonder you’re head over the proverbial heels’ – and although I don’t tell him exactly what’s happening, I hint at it and James is quick to understand.

  ‘Just be careful, Beth. Don’t forget we can never separate our hearts from our bodies. Your emotions are the strongest part of you. Whatever you think your body can stand . . . well, it’s what you yourself can take.’ I know he’s sincere when he tells me that he’s there for me if I need him.

  I just hope I’m not going to.

  Monday comes, and with it, the feeling of fearful anticipation grows. I can hardly keep my mind on my work at all during the day, and I have to have a good talk with myself in the lavatory mirror.

  As I face my reflection, I look different somehow. Perhaps it’s the stark quality of my work outfit of crisp white shirt, black skirt and belted, black cardigan, and the way my hair is pulled back into a tight and glossy ponytail, but I know I seem older and wiser than I did just a few weeks ago. A little more ready to be brave, perhaps.

  ‘Now come on, Beth,’ I say firmly to myself in the mirror. ‘He’s not going to say hello, pull out a whip and start laying into you. It’s not going to be like that.’

  Whatever I might fear, I have confidence that Dominic will be a good and gentle guide. I have to relax and put my trust in him. I need to put myself entirely in his hands.

  Perhaps that’s what it’s all about. Have I already agreed to surrender and given him the control he loves?

  I’m struck by the paradox that it’s taken my strength of will and determination to bring me to a place where I yield it up entirely to another person. But I realise that I trust Dominic to protect me, and that feeling is deeply comforting.

  And I’ll know more tonight.

  My eyes have a shining quality. I know I’m excited by this strange turn things have taken. And there are only a few hours left to wait.

  Dominic arrives promptly as James is putting the closed sign up in the gallery. I feel a rush of pride as he walks in, so tall and handsome and so beautifully turned out in a dark grey suit and gold silk tie. As ever he looks immaculate, but his expression turns to astonishment when he sees James and recognises him from The Asylum.

  ‘Charming to see you again,’ James says, imperturbable as ever. ‘Have a lovely evening, you two.’

  ‘Thanks, James, goodnight,’ I say, picking up my bag and joining Dominic by the door.

  ‘He’s your boss?’ Dominic says as he drops a kiss on my lips.

  I nod, smiling a little mischievously. ‘We bonded very quickly.’

  We walk out of the gallery together and on to the street. Dominic frowns and I can see a flicker of jealousy in his eyes. ‘Not too closely, I hope. Was he really going to have some kind of relationship with you?’

  ‘I’ll tell you a secret,’ I say, pulling him down so that my mouth is close to his ear. ‘He’s gay.’

  Dominic looks a little mollified but he still growls, ‘That doesn’t necessarily mean anything in my world, I can tell you that. You’d be surprised what can happen when all the barriers come down.’

  ‘Where are we going?’ I ask, slipping my arm under his and snuggling close to him as we walk. For some reason, I feel more affectionate with him than ever, longing to touch and hug him. For a moment, I wonder if I can call this all off and we can just go home and cuddle on the sofa. Then I think: Dominic’s not a simple cuddle-on-the-sofa guy, remember? It’s this way – or not at all.

  ‘We’re going to The Asylum,’ he replies. He seems a little distracted but perhaps it’s just the desire to be off the busy after-work streets.

  ‘Oh.’ I feel obscurely disappointed. I’d imagined some new ground but perhaps it makes sense. It is a place that seems to feature large in Dominic’s life, so I’m going to have to get to know it.

  We are soon making our way down the metal staircase to the door. It’s so early that the place has a deserted feel to it. The desk at the entrance is deserted, but Dominic leads me confidently inside. The tattooed man is behind the bar, writing something on a clipboard, and he looks up as we enter.

  ‘Evening, Dominic,’ he says in a friendly way, quite at odds with his aggressive appearance.

  ‘Hi, Bob,’ responds Dominic. ‘Is she here?’

  ‘Upstairs. I’ll just buzz her down.’ The tattooed man reaches for a telephone and makes a quick muttered call.

  ‘He’s called Bob?’ I say quietly but incredulously. I giggle.

  ‘Yes. What’s so strange about that?’

  ‘Well . . . he doesn’t look like a Bob, that’s all.’

  ‘Mmm, I suppose he does look quite odd,’ Dominic admits, smiling. ‘I’m used to him, I guess.’

  ‘Bob,’ I say again, and laugh.

  I’m looking about the empty bar and thinking about how different a place can be with no one in it, its character quite changed, when a door towards the back of the bar opens
and in strides Vanessa.

  She looks amazing in a scarlet trouser suit, ice-white silk shirt and high heels. Her lips are painted to match her suit, and her short wavy hair is loose, softening the look. Her eyes, though, are not exactly welcoming as she approaches.

  ‘Darling,’ she says brightly, smiling at Dominic as she kisses him on the cheek. Then she turns to me with an altogether colder look. ‘Hello. We meet again. It’s an unexpected pleasure.’

  I nod, shy suddenly. She seems so far away from anything I could ever be.

  ‘We’ll go to my apartment,’ she says, turning back the way she came. ‘Follow me.’

  So this is it. I’m being taken beyond the safe zone.

  I follow her, Dominic close behind, and we go through a dark baize door and into the most private part of the club. At first, there’s nothing to see. A corridor, a staircase, closed doors. We ascend to the first floor and Vanessa turns to Dominic.

  ‘Would she like to see any of the chambers?’

  ‘Why don’t you ask her,’ Dominic says quietly. ‘She’s right here.’

  Vanessa turns her cold gaze to me. ‘Would you?’

  I take a deep breath. Why not?’ Yes. Please.’

  ‘Right.’ Vanessa strides to the nearest door and opens it. ‘We’re quiet tonight. This one is empty. It’s part of the nursery wing.’ She stands back so that I can step inside, and I venture in a few steps and look around.

  It looks like the archetypal baby’s bedroom from years gone by, with blue and pink gingham everywhere, a white chest of drawers decorated with cute bunnies, a toy box and a cot with ruffled bedding, except that everything is on a massive scale. The cot is big enough for an adult male; a giant potty with a ruffled skirt concealing its base sits in one corner. A large table that can accommodate an adult lying flat also holds supplies of baby wipes, talcum powder and a basket full of enormous disposable nappies. On a shelf, along with teddies, rattles and baby books, is a tray of dummies and a selection of baby bottles.