House of Darkness House of Light

by Andrea Perron

  When she left to continue the journey she drove off into the sunset then had to turn around, returning to retrieve her dog. Cinnamon got left behind in all the commotion: the last laugh of the visit. However, it must be duly noted: Cathi never left them at all. She was and remains an ethereal creature, and is in many ways a lot like the spirits… coming and going yet omnipresent. It would be virtually impossible to love someone as powerfully as they all love Cathi without having her remain ever present in heart. Perhaps she is “spirit” in the finest sense of the word: holy. Visible or invisible, she was always there, always with the family… in spirit. Cathi remains an integral part of the Perron family. No matter where they go… there she is… in a sweet memory or a cute turn of phrase: J-E-L-L-O Nothing! has been instilled into the vernacular of the family language as she was long ago woven into the tapestry of their lives. Now they meet in cyberspace, on Skype. Her pure presence is felt with each reference made to a woman who makes an impression and leaves a mark on every heart, like a residual kiss left on the forehead of an adoring child.

  Is human existence one great, exceedingly long continuum? Are we recycled souls, visiting and revisiting this realm until we get it right? If Heaven is the ultimate home, perhaps a paradise place in the country, who condemned the spirits to remain Earth-bound souls? Is it possible the farm is their idea of Heaven, where they reside as a reward rather than a punishment? Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done… deliver us from evil.

  “The only thing wrong with immortality is

  that it tends to go on forever.”

  Herb Caen

  eye of the beholder

  “Into my heart’s night / Along a narrow way /

  I groped; and lo! the light, / An infinite land of day.”

  Rubaiyat of Rumi

  We mortals do believe our eyes. We should. There is no legitimate reason to dismiss otherwise consistently reliable senses. It is entirely understandable that there are those who doubt the existence of spirit. If they have not seen it they don’t believe it… they don’t know… simple as that. However, it is equally legitimate to claim, as a witness, the existence of something beyond this realm. Only one belief is certain. Mortals who have, with their own eyes, witnessed the manifestation of spirit claim to have no doubt at all. Trust all the senses, each as the gift of God. “Faith dares the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see.”

  Cindy possesses what metaphysicians are fond of calling “The Third Eye” and she uses it in myriad ways. As a child the first indications of the gift were rather subtle though one particular event stuck in memory; the first sign… a harbinger of gifts to come. Raymond was at the farm one afternoon working with Andrea on a joint project for history class. Their research materials were sprawled across the depth and breadth of the dining room table. Cindy came downstairs through the parlor and paused to reflect upon a mess large enough to preclude dinner being eaten in there… they would have to chow down in the kitchen for one more night.

  If she was feeling particularly receptive in the moment, Cindy said nothing. She sat quietly in a chair beside her big sister for the sake of idle curiosity. After a few minutes, Cindy leaned back in her chair and looked directly through the front hallway into the kitchen, as if she’d heard something. Raymond wondered what she was looking at as she stood abruptly and walked into the kitchen without saying a word. Andrea was busy and didn’t notice. Raymond became curious and rose from his chair, following behind. As he stepped over to the doorway he saw Cindy standing beside the telephone in the kitchen… just standing there. Then it rang. She answered it. Startled, Ray returned to his seat. A minute later Cindy returned to the dining room to give her big sister the message received. Ray appeared to be astonished. An inquiring mind, he spoke up.

  “Cindy, why did you go into the kitchen?”

  “Because the phone was going to ring.”

  “How did you know that?”

  “I don’t know… I just know.”

  “Are you listening to this?” Ray tried to get Andrea’s notice and comment.

  “What?” She was, but was vague on the details, her rapt attention diverted while reading.

  “Cindy says she knew the phone was going to ring.”

  “Yes, I know… she does it all the time. Do you think we should use this article in the presentation?”

  Realizing his study partner had moved on to another topic, Ray did the same without pressing further for a more complete explanation though, as Cindy recalls, the young man seemed rather stunned by the incident, more so by the nonchalance with which it was addressed. In all the years he spent as a frequent visitor at the farm, Raymond never witnessed anything out of the ordinary. This minor event was all he could recall as anything worth including but it is noteworthy. It speaks to the selective nature of the spirits and a certain ability the children possessed to intuit; for all intents and purposes, to see in the dark. It was enlightening for Raymond to see the third eye in action, yet so taken for granted… nothing out of the ordinary.

  No one escaped unscathed. Everyone living in the house of the dead dwelled there as a witness to the images… manifestations that have and will remain with them permanently. Two children saw their mother fly, observing death become her as she screamed and spoke in an alien voice with a language not of this world. The vivid detail of their memories is a testament to the impact made, impressions left by numerous encounters with the spirits. It leaves a mark. Upon reflection they each agree, as difficult as these images are to bear once conjured then revisited, they remain as real as when they occurred, inspiring reverence; awe and respect for God’s eye as the ultimate beholder of every creation, including the spirits. If we are made in the image and likeness, if we are indeed a manifestation of God-consciousness, do we not also peer clear through the Eye of God? It is said that faith dares the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see. By taking a quantum leap of faith, by daring to believe our own eyes, in so doing, we develop the ability to perceive the world with different eyes… an infinite sight which follows the Light of acceptance, emerging from the dark age of fear. Lo! and Behold!

  “If you begin to live life looking for the God that

  is all around you, every moment becomes a prayer.”

  Frank Bianco

  a little knowledge

  “The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance.”

  Socrates

  Carolyn always told her girls the truth. “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.” Beware of those who proclaim themselves to be the experts of this world. We know nothing. We possess no viable explanation for anything we sense here, so to claim otherwise is disingenuous at best, fraudulent at worst. Under false pretenses, that presumption of uncommon knowledge will make matters worse. This was Carolyn’s philosophical viewpoint. It had evolved over time, with experience. No longer such a trusting soul, she had much to consider. Her new attitude was implicit whenever she’d mutter the profound, yet simple statement beneath her breath, referencing the séance she could not recall. She’d been told what transpired that hellacious evening. Lessons learned by proxy. It pained their mother to know what her children had witnessed. She could only imagine what it must have felt like for them, trembling with fear, wondering if their mom had survived the attack. Waiting… and waiting for some signs of life in a home darkened by death itself. Einstein said it best: “Whoever undertakes to set himself up as judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the Gods.” Perhaps a siren song thrown in for good measure?

  The nescient among us would suggest that an incomplete thought is better than no thought at all. Simply not true. Emerson defines awareness as such: “Knowledge is knowing that we cannot know.” Relinquishing the desire is, in itself, transformative. It is not a cosmic throwing of one’s hands in the air. Far from it. To accept that we do not understand is a liberating admission; it cracks open the door and pries the eyes wide as we become observers in this
world. Only then can we attain true spiritual freedom. Carolyn grasped this concept in full, speaking words of wisdom: let it be. Comforting comments came at the most opportune time. After the séance the farmhouse became inordinately active for several months. During this period Cynthia began to speak with the spirits as they manifested, instructing them to do her bidding. If she wanted to be left all alone, she told them so and they complied. If she wanted to observe something, they would linger, accommodating her wishes. Suddenly they became cooperative. These acknowledgments made by a child altered the dynamics in the house to the good. Everyone followed her lead. It was an entirely new level of mutual acceptance and respect. Apparently, that door between dimensions cracked open, wider than anyone ever anticipated, and it stayed that way. It was as if what happened to Carolyn had affected all of them, including the ghosts. They had all witnessed the ravages of a war and wanted only peace. The knowledge spirits possess far exceed any kind of understanding mere mortals could attain. Even though the interaction they engaged in became more frequent and overt, they all knew enough to keep it peaceful while making their presence known. The air became lighter, easier to breathe. The spirits responded with a universal “welcome home”. At last, some measure of peace and quiet.

  “Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless,

  and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.”

  Samuel Johnson

  all things considered

  “Pure logic is the ruin of the spirit.”

  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  It was time to reassess… for everyone. Exposure and experience combined, conspiring to write another new chapter in the Perron family saga. Since the worst of the worst had already happened, it seemed to cast a much lighter shadow across the minds of those who’d observed something not of this world, forced to believe their own eyes. Even the one who had been taken down, succumbing to this force to be reckoned with, knew of its power. For so long, there seemed no rhyme or reason for the visits, no purpose served other than to scare the hell out of little kids. Time to reassess: If it exists and it is capable of manifesting among mortals then the only logical conclusion is as follows: it IS of this world. Evil exists and its foot soldiers walk among us. Inevitably, good triumphs over evil. The bastards are outnumbered. They won’t go down without a fight but they always lose in the end and get what they deserve. It was time to begin the long trek out of the darkness into the light.

  Roger had much to consider. The man realized he was afraid of his own wife, afraid of his own home, powerless to control the situation, at the mercy of a presence he could not comprehend; precarious at its best. He had to be humbled before he could attain his true humanity. As the tones and overtones of their household had been altered by a stunning encounter, even the lowly spirits seemed to be silenced by the turn of events; subdued and muted for a spell, as humbled and intimidated by that episode as the rest of the family had been. It was as if they’d seen what happened, too. Perhaps they did. It was the end of the beginning and the beginning of the end; a pivotal point… the turning point for all involved. Carolyn came to her senses and claimed her own power. She refused to be manipulated anymore. Roger faced the pragmatic facts of the case. He was forced to admit he was wrong… to admit that demonic forces do exist; pressured into acceptance by an undeniable reality. A kind of “hush” fell all over the world. Acceptance is the key to enlightenment, the master which unlocks every door. It was a trying time for him and two of the children. There was no denying what they’d witnessed. Each of them had to learn how to live with it. Knowledge is power yet they felt powerless to create space in their minds, to both acknowledge the presence and assimilate this knowledge of it into life in some meaningful way.

  The changes were subliminal at first, just below the surface. Gradually, Roger became less reticent and his disposition improved. He lightened and brightened, no longer so predisposed to fits of temper from out of the blue. No more casting aspersions with shadows so long they would touch hearts and minds, altering the mood of any mortal soul within reach. Evolution almost qualifying as a revolution: everything changed as attitudes adjusted to the sudden shift in light. Smiles came more easily, fences were mended as quickly. It had come to all of them supernaturally, as a gift; the blessing after the curse. It was transformational for the family.

  Carolyn began her ascension. She would not languish longer in the depths of despair. Instead, she rose up. I was time to fight back and she would not be taken alive, never again. Declaring her intention to break free of whatever it was trying to claim her from within: No more. Go back to hell where you belong; where you came from. What overcame Carolyn that night was not Bathsheba Sherman and it was not Mrs. Arnold. It was not anyone dwelling in the farmhouse but it had access because it was invited in. It had come from beyond, from another realm… elsewhere. But then, evil is everywhere, omnipresent, like God. One must make a decision to be in good spirits! Carolyn fought her way out of the darkness by simply becoming consistently lighthearted. It was her weapon of choice, countering evil with good. It wasn’t a fair fight… for the demon! Rising from the ashes, she snatched victory from the jaws of defeat.

  Christine slept right through the séance. It was supernatural sleep. She was dead to the world, considered a blessing bestowed: a mercy. The poor child had been through enough, seen enough. Even though April was privy to the aftermath, she had not seen her mother fly across the room, not like a witch (without the benefit of a broomstick) but backwards and not of her own volition. Lifted then thrown with a force that sent her feet in the air, it was entirely in control. What grabbed Carolyn that fateful frightful night flung her across the Universe, emerging straight from hell… pure evil. It spoke through her in an ancient and alien language no one present could discern… not of this world? It was there, among them. Hell on Earth.

  The notion never escaped them: if it happened once it could happen again. For awhile afterward, there was tiptoe-style watchfulness, an ever-present need to peer over one’s shoulder or keep an observant eye open at the back of one’s head. In time, this tendency subsided and what came to claim Carolyn never reared its ugly head again. What occurred was legitimately classified as evil but in the end, it was to the good; transformed as a blessing from a curse. What remains to be seen will all be revealed in its right and proper time, of course. All things considered, less heat and more light was called for in the situation, so their family followed the Light. Being happy is its own best reward. To know the incredible lightness of being from within is a holy gift.

  “More wisdom is latent in things as they are than

  in all the words men use.”

  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  more harm than good

  “Turn your wounds into wisdom.”

  Oprah Winfrey

  They meant no harm. The Warrens had come to make peace not war, but it backfired in their faces. Some of those tethered to them had ulterior motives but Ed and Lorraine had come only to help. To this day, the Perron family believes as a whole in the pure motivation of a couple who knew enough to identify the situation yet not enough to dispel the culprits wreaking havoc in a portal cleverly disguised as a farmhouse, one which remains alive with death. They did their best and who could ask for more? Roger may have been unappreciative of their efforts at the time but even he’ll admit they were right about what was happening. Like him, they just didn’t know how to control it. As Franny had forewarned Carolyn, there was real potential for opening a door which they would find impossible to close. Whatever attacked Carolyn left when it was ready under its own power; it was not ushered from the premises nor was it dismissed from class as the Warrens had been. Rather, it did what it came to accomplish, on a mission to make its presence known… thirty years hence, to the world.

  Anyone observing objectively would call their encounter an unnatural disaster but it is more complicated. If truth be told in full Ed and Lorraine Warren were a catalyst to much-needed change. Their
presence prompted a seismic shift in thinking, especially for Roger. As much as he resisted, he was listening. He was watching. He was there. A crash course if ever there was one. They were all drifting in uncharted territory, navigating within treacherous waters with the common sense of direction to guide them. In spite of all the tools at their disposal, they were blown off course by a rogue wind of supernatural origin. They did what they could and no one can fault them for that.