Wanting More (Love on Campus #2)

by Jessica Ruddick

  Josh is a lazy sack of shit. We once had such high expectations for him, but now we know better. Maybe one day he’ll amount to something, but I’m not holding my breath.

  “You can spend the rest of the weekend studying. Mackenzie’s party will be a nice break.”

  “This isn’t a good idea,” she said.

  “You picked out the perfect present. Don’t you want to see her open it?”

  Why am I still trying to convince her? She’d just said it was a bad idea, and while she didn’t sound a hundred percent convinced of that, my doubt easily made up the difference. I’d never even brought a friend home from college, and now I was going to bring home the girl I was trying to convince to date me?

  Why was I even trying so hard? There was no shortage of pretty girls on campus. I could easily find one who was more willing. One who didn’t require so much effort.

  But dammit, I didn’t want anyone else. I wanted her.

  Bri opened her mouth to speak, and from her expression I could tell she was going to shut me down. But then her expression changed. “What the heck?” she said. “Why not?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Bri

  I sat on my suitcase in front of my apartment, waiting for Josh to pick me up.

  There were a million reasons why this was a horrible idea. I had to be breaking some kind of counseling rule, even if only an unwritten one. Getting involved with a client was unethical. If this continued much longer, I was going to have to turn his case over to someone else.

  Getting involved… Were we involved? My fingertips automatically went to my lips, remembering. We hadn’t talked about the kiss. My black eye kind of swept that conversation right under the rug.

  Josh pulled up and honked his horn, waving like a goof, even though he’d pulled up right next to me. I rolled my eyes, and with that eye roll went all my doubts. This was exactly why this was a good idea.

  Josh was goofy and light and funny and carefree. He was everything I wasn’t, and everything I needed right now.

  He got out, came around the car, and opened the passenger door for me with a little bow. I hefted my backpack and dropped it on the floorboard with a thud.

  “Geez, don’t hurt Bessie.” He eyed my backpack, which was literally bursting at the seams.

  “Bessie?” I said.

  “Sure.” He grinned and ran his hand along the side of the red Toyota SUV. “I got it from Cars. Bessie was the asphalt paver thing that Lightning McQueen had to pull.”

  I laughed. “That’s a strange thing to name your car after.”

  “It suits her.” He grabbed my suitcase and loaded it in the back. “Ready?”

  Gulp. No, I wasn’t ready. This was crazy. This was stupid.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be,” I answered truthfully.

  The inside of the car was silent, and I was painfully aware of every squeak the seat cushion under me made as I shifted.

  “Is the radio broken?” I asked.

  He put on his blinker and merged into the lane for the bypass that would take us to the interstate. “No. But don’t you need to read?”

  “Oh.” I was surprised at his thoughtfulness, but I shouldn’t have been. Josh might be careless or clueless sometimes, but he wasn’t thoughtless. “Thanks.”

  I pulled out my Sociology of Higher Education textbook and a pink highlighter. “Do you mind if I take my shoes off?” I asked.

  “Make yourself comfortable.”

  I slipped off my Vans and pulled my feet up to sit cross-legged, resting the book in my lap and my chin on my hand. About half a chapter in, Josh started tapping his fingers on the steering wheel in a distinctive beat. And was he humming?

  I looked over at him. When he caught me, he grinned. “Sorry.”

  “You can turn the radio on if you want,” I said. “Really.”

  He shook his head. “I promised you’d be able to read, and I’m a man of my word.”

  “I appreciate it, but truly, as long as it’s not blaring, it won’t bother me. I lived in the dorms for four years. I’m used to studying with music in the background.”

  “Four years?” He looked over at me with a look of disgust on his face. My back stiffened, and my chin jutted out at his tone. “Why would you live on campus for four years?”

  I forced my chin back to its normal position. He wasn’t trying to insult me. Given what I knew about him, I understood why he couldn’t fathom why anyone would choose to live on campus.

  “I was an RA.” I explained. “That paid for my room and board.”

  “So you were one of them,” he said. “I got busted by my RA freshman year for sneaking in a six-pack. Almost got kicked out of the dorms.”

  “I honestly didn’t care that much about people breaking the rules. I mean, if my residents were stupid about it and flaunted it, then I’d have to report them. But mostly if I could pretend to ignore it, and they weren’t bothering anyone else, then…” I shrugged.

  Josh’s jaw dropped, and then he shot a grin my way. “No way. Ms. Welch let residents slide when they broke the rules?”

  I blushed. “Let’s just say I chose my battles.”

  “Your coolness factor just went up.”

  “Score!” I made a fist and brought it down toward my belly. “So that puts me at what? Negative three on the coolness scale?”

  “Nah.” He grinned. “You’re at least at zero now.” He flipped on the radio and turned the volume down a few notches. “Now read. I don’t want to be the reason why you fail something.”

  “Yes, sir.” I saluted him.

  He smirked. “Oh, yeah. My dad’s gonna love you. By the way, you salute with your right hand.”

  I re-saluted with my right hand, forgetting I still held the pink highlighter. “Shit.” I pulled down the visor mirror to see if I had marked myself.

  His eyebrows popped up. “Did Ms. Welch just curse?”

  I blushed. “I’m not as much of a Goody Two-shoes as you think I am.”

  “Yeah, you are.” He glanced over at me. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Now read.”

  Other than a quick stop at Wendy’s for a snack and a bathroom break, we rode in silence the rest of the trip, and I actually did get a lot of reading done. If I could spend a few hours working on some assignments and reviewing some case files at Josh’s parents’ house and then read on the ride home, I should have no problem getting caught up.

  The closer to DC we got, the twitchier Josh became. There was a lot of sighing and shifting in his seat, along with the tapping of his thumbs on the steering wheel. I don’t think he even realized he was doing it.

  He merged into the right-hand lane, presumably because our exit was coming. “If you don’t mind,” he said, clearing his throat. “Can we keep the whole academic probation thing between us?”

  “I have to,” I said. “Legally, I’m not allowed to discuss your case with anyone, even your parents. You’re an adult.” I paused. “But I would’ve kept your secret, anyway.”

  “Thanks,” he said. His grip tightened on the steering wheel as Bessie decelerated on the exit ramp for Centreville. “Just a few more minutes.”

  About eight minutes later, Josh parked in front of a modest two-story house in what looked to be a nice neighborhood. He turned off the ignition and sat there for a moment, staring straight ahead.

  Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Josh was less-than-thrilled to be here, and the lighthearted gleam that normally resided in his eyes was replaced with a dullness. But there was no turning back now. Instinctively, I reached over and squeezed his hand.

  He looked at me, surprised. “Thanks,” he said quietly, not letting go.

  I bit my lip. “Is there anything I need to know before we go in there?”

  He shook his head. “It’ll be fine. My family and I…don’t exactly get along, but I wasn’t joking when I said my dad’s going to love you.”

  “Does that mean you’ll like me less?”

&
nbsp; He ran his thumb along my cheekbone, the one that had been bruised. “No, sweetheart.” Then he gave his trademark grin and my insides melted a little. “I don’t actually give a fuck what my father thinks.”

  “Well, all righty, then.”

  Josh waited for me while I put my shoes on, and walked me to the front door, his hand on the small of my back. I resisted the urge to go slower so the contact would last longer. We’d touched before, but his hand on my back? Call me an anti-feminist if you want, but I liked the bit of protectiveness it symbolized.

  He took one last deep breath before opening the door.

  “Hello?” he called.

  A flash of blond hair flew into his knees, followed by a yapping blond ball of fur, which skidded and slid into the front door.

  “Josh! Josh!” the little girl yelled. “It’s my birthday! Did you know that?”

  He picked her up so he could look her in the eyes. “Are you for real?”

  She giggled. “It’s tomorrow. I’m gonna be five. Are you here for my party?”

  “Yes, and I brought my friend with me.” Still holding her eye level, he turned her so she could see me. “This is Bri.”

  “You can come to my party if you want,” she said, her big blue eyes wide and innocent. Did my eyes ever have that much innocence?

  “Thank you,” I said, then leaned down to pet the little yipping ball of fur that was jumping at my ankles. “Who’s this?”

  Josh put Mackenzie down so she could grab the puppy’s hot pink collar. “This is Elsa. She’s my first present. Hey, do you like Frozen? Do you want to watch it? I have it.”

  “Maybe later,” Josh said. “We need to say hi to everyone else first.”

  As if they’d heard his segue, his father and stepmother walked up.

  “This is Bri,” he said.

  His stepmother took the hand I held out and used it to pull me into a hug. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

  “Thanks for letting me crash the party, Mrs. Davidson,” I said.

  “Call me Laura. Mrs. Davidson makes me feel too old.”

  “And you can call me Mitch.” Josh’s dad put his arm around his wife, who had to be at least a decade younger than him. I wouldn’t put her much past her early thirties.

  “How was the drive, son?” Mitch asked. “Did you hit any traffic?”

  Josh crossed his arms. “No, it was fine.”

  “Good.” Mitch turned to me, the small talk with his son finished. There was definitely an undercurrent of coolness there. “So, Bri, you’re in grad school, right?”

  “Mitch, let the poor girl come inside past the foyer before you start questioning her,” Laura said. “Sorry for my husband. He works with computers all day and sometimes forgets how to interact with human beings.”

  Josh knelt down to pet Elsa with Mackenzie. “So, Dad. A puppy?”

  Mitch smiled tightly. “The girls wore me down.”

  “Nice.” Josh’s tone conveyed that it was anything but nice.

  “Let’s go into the kitchen,” Laura said, with a smile that was clearly meant to smooth over the situation. “I’ll set out some snacks. Dinner will be ready soon. I hope you like lasagna.”

  “Yes, ma’am, I do,” I said, allowing myself to be led toward the kitchen.

  “I’ll just get our bags,” Josh said. “Be right back.”

  I tried to meet his eyes, to throw an S.O.S. his way, but he slammed the front door behind him without even looking up. My mouth formed an O. I couldn’t believe he’d ditch me like that. That was not okay. I narrowed my eyes in annoyance at the door he’d just slammed, then I checked myself. Josh may have issues with his parents, but I still wanted to make a good impression.

  Mackenzie pulled at her mom’s shirt. “Mommy, Bri said she’d watch Frozen with me.”

  Laura ran a hand over her daughter’s hair, and I was struck by how Mackenzie was a miniature version of her mother. “Perhaps later, sweetie. It’s almost dinner time.” Mackenzie sighed like she was turning fifteen instead of five, then ran off.

  I looked nothing like Marie. She was pale and her hair had long since turned white. With my tan skin tone and dark hair and eyes, it was obvious I wasn’t her real daughter. Not for the first time, I wondered if I looked like my biological mother.

  I sat at the kitchen counter while Laura busied herself with setting out crackers and cutting a block of cheese into bite-sized slices.

  Mitch leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. I hadn’t seen any resemblance between him and Josh earlier, but I saw it now. Their postures were nearly identical, even if you couldn’t tell they were related by looking at their faces.

  “So, grad school?” he asked.

  “Yes, sir.” I accepted the glass of ice water that Laura placed on the counter in front of me and took a sip. “I’m getting a master’s in higher education.”

  He nodded, his expression impressed. “What do you do with that sort of degree?”

  “I want to work in academic services at a college or university.” Even though he nodded again, I could tell he didn’t exactly know what that meant. “So I could be the director of a tutoring center or something like that. Or maybe work in admissions. It just depends on what kind of job I can get.”

  “Is it a competitive field?” he asked, seeming genuinely interested.

  “Sort of. There are always jobs somewhere, but I have to be willing to move.”

  “Where are you from? Is that where you want to end up?”

  Laura laid out the cheese platter and a basket of crackers. “Honey, seriously. Don’t interrogate the poor girl.”

  “No, it’s okay.” I smiled to show my words were sincere. I could talk about anything academically related all day long. That was my bread and butter. “I’m from Virginia Beach. My parents are older, so ideally I’d like to go back there to be close to them to help with things, but they’d understand if I couldn’t find a job nearby.”

  I jumped as the front door slammed. The thud, thud, thud of heavy footsteps went up the stairs then were capped off by another door slam.

  Geez. I didn’t realize Josh was part elephant.

  Laura and Mitch exchanged a look, saying nothing. Josh appeared in the kitchen moments later.

  He slid onto the stool next to mine and helped himself to some cheese and crackers. “What’d I miss?”

  “Bri was just telling us about her program.” Laura wiped her hands on a kitchen towel then hung it on the oven handle. “Can I get you something to drink, Josh?”

  He looked at her evenly. “A beer would be great.”

  She pursed her lips slightly but grabbed a bottle from the refrigerator. After opening it, she set it in front of him.

  “While we’re on the subject of academics, why don’t you tell us how you’re doing?” Mitch put his palms flat on the counter.

  “Fine,” Josh said, his mouth full of crackers. He took a swig of beer.

  “Do you care to elaborate?”

  “Nope.”

  “Have you finally settled on a major?”

  “Nope.”

  Mitch’s jaw muscle worked and his knuckles whitened. “You’ve got one year before that tuition money dries up, son. Four years. That’s it.”

  “I guess I’ll just have to move home, then. We’ll be one big happy family.” Josh smiled at his dad, but gone was the happy-go-lucky guy I knew. Even Stevie Wonder could see there was bad blood here.

  “You’re healthy,” his dad retorted. “The military will take you.”

  Josh pushed away from the counter. “Did you just actually admit I’m good enough for something?” He grabbed his beer and left the room. Shaking his head, Mitch left as well, going in the opposite direction.

  Laura sighed. “You’ll have to forgive those two. They’ve never gotten along. I was hoping it’d be better when Josh went to college, that at least they’d get along on breaks, but no such luck.”

  “I should probably go talk to him,” I said.

&nb
sp; “Upstairs, second door on the left,” Laura told me.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Josh

  I sat on my bed, my elbows on my knees, my head in my hands.

  Fuck. What the fuck am I doing?

  I brought Bri home to give her a break from the drama in her life. I’d promised her a relaxing weekend. I thought I’d be able to handle it.

  Guess again.

  I would’ve been fine. Then that damn puppy jumped on my legs. Of course they had a puppy. Why wouldn’t they? I’d only asked for one for every birthday and Christmas for six years straight.

  It was stupid. I knew it was stupid to hold a grudge for Santa not bringing me a puppy, but then as soon as I sat down, my dad had gotten on me about school. More of the usual you’re-not-good-enough, and why-can’t-you-ever-stick-with-anything, and act-like-an-adult bullshit. For fuck’s sake, he could’ve waited until Bri wasn’t around.

  Bri.

  I’d left her downstairs with the firing squad. I’d rescue her in a few minutes, but I couldn’t chance encountering my dad, or I might lose my shit.

  Real mature, Josh, real mature.

  Hey, at least I knew my limitations.

  There was a gentle knock at my door. “Josh, it’s Bri. Can I come in?”

  “Yeah.”

  The bed dipped a little as she sat beside me. She put her hand on my knee. “Are you okay?”

  “Fine, yeah.”

  “So…those are your parents.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I would say they seem nice, but I don’t think you would agree. Or appreciate that comment.”

  I sat up straight. “I’m sorry. My dad just gets under my skin. I thought I’d be able to hold it together with you here, but—” I laughed bitterly. “Impulse control has never been my thing.”

  “I hope you won’t bite my head off for saying this…” She paused for a minute. “You know what? Never mind.”

  “No, what?” I asked. “Speak your mind.”

  “Your dad’s questions didn’t seem all that…” She trailed off as she searched for the right word. “Offensive. Most parents want to know how their kids are doing in school, you know?”