YaYa looked at him with guilt-ridden eyes. His entire demeanor had changed. The good vibe dissipated as anger and disappointment filled the air.
He was full of rage and jealousy. He was full of disgust and resentment. He had spent so many years of his life building her up, loving her, and putting her on a pedestal, only for her to fail him miserably. It was like suddenly he had clear vision and could see her for the person she truly was. All the fucking accusations she threw at me, and she been fucking with this nigga the entire time. She let him have what’s mine, he thought.
“You must have been sucking that nigga dick pretty good for him to break bread on you like this,” Indie insulted her. “Do I get my cut? Since you out here acting like a ho, I might as well pimp your ass.”
His words were a slap in the face.
“Fuck you, Indie! I’m a ho and you’re what? In case you forgot, you started this game of infidelity,” YaYa shouted.
“Yeah, and I guess you finished it,” Indie shot back.
“What’s different between now and last night? I put my cards out on the table for you already. I confessed about Ethic. What, you find a little money that I got from him and now you mad? What happened to starting over?”
“You let another nigga have your body, YaYa. He got your mind. You gave him your heart. The nigga feel like he got enough invested in you to put up an account for you. You didn’t turn him down, you took his money; that mean you his. You sold yourself!” His rage couldn’t be contained. It simmered within him with such intensity that he frightened himself. I could wring her fucking neck right now. He had never been the type of man to put his hands on a woman, but he could feel himself losing it. YaYa had been running around town making a fool out of him. He may have had a complicated situation with managing two women in his life, but despite what YaYa suspected, Indie never valued Parker the way that he did her. He had slipped up once and had beaten himself up over it ever since.
This bitch been carrying on with that nigga like that’s where she want to be, Indie thought. YaYa had never been so many bitches and hos in all her life. Indie had never been the man to make a habit out of degrading women, but he was in his feelings, completely torn up by betrayal. He had wanted to assume that Ethic was a phase for YaYa, but it was clear that there were emotions involved. He could see it in her eyes that she had given her love away. The idea of the baby she carried belonging to Ethic ran rampant through Indie’s mind. He knew that it wasn’t his. Still, he had to hear her say it. That’s the least she could do, admit it.
“Is this baby mine?” he asked. Hope burned in his eyes. In a way he wanted her to lie to him. He wanted her to tell him what he preferred to hear; then he wouldn’t have to hate her.
“I don’t think so,” she whispered as she hung her head in embarrassment. “I don’t know. I mean … it could be … I—”
“Is it mine?” Indie repeated sternly.
“I’m not sure. I was with both you and Ethic around the time I conceived,” she admitted.
Indie went dark. Suddenly YaYa’s light dimmed. This one sin had changed the way he looked at her.
She saw the shift in his eyes. His disdain was in his body language. It was in the rhythm of the breaths he took. She knew him so well that she instantly felt the disconnect between them. There was discord in their home, and suddenly a relationship that had seemed to be on the mend suddenly felt irreparable. An uncomfortable silence filled the room as he loomed over her.
“Indie,” she whispered.
He sniffed and then squeezed the bridge of his nose before lifting his head to look her square in the eye.
“Get your shit and get the fuck out,” Indie said. His words hurt as her stomach sank.
“Indie, please, baby, let me explain. Let’s talk about this,” she said as she followed him up the stairs. She pulled at his arm, trying to get him to face her, but he snatched away from her so violently that she almost fell. “Indie!” she shouted.
“My kids are in the other room. Ain’t nothing else to say. That shit you were talking last night? Do that. Leave, YaYa, because the way I feel right now, I can’t be responsible for how I react to you. Get the fuck out,” Indie said. “You let another nigga put a baby in you, then got me out here on some sucker shit apologizing and begging you to stay,” Indie said, louder than he intended. “How the fuck do you come out your mouth about my son’s mother, when you out here fucking my enemy? He putting bread in an account for you, so let that nigga take care of you. Get your ass out.”
“Daddy? Why are you yelling at Mommy?” Skylar asked as she came into view. King stood in the doorway of her bedroom, peeking around the corner with concern.
“Nooo, baby girl. He isn’t yelling. We’re fine. Everything is okay,” YaYa said as she rushed to pick up her daughter.
“Please let me explain myself,” YaYa whispered as she held Skylar’s head against her chest and stared intently at Indie. How quickly the roles had reversed. She was the one beseeching Indie’s mercy.
“I’m not interested. You the next nigga’s problem now,” Indie said.
YaYa’s pride wouldn’t allow her to stay where she was unwanted.
She descended the steps with her child in her arms and snatched up her handbag before rushing out of the house. She had asked for this. Less than twenty-four hours ago she had wanted to leave, but there was a difference in walking away on your own terms and being put out. YaYa wanted to raise hell, she wanted to kick and scream and fight, but for the sake of her child she didn’t. She didn’t want to put that image in Skylar’s mind. She placed Skylar in the car and then climbed into the driver’s seat. She couldn’t drive. She was too distraught. YaYa sat there gripping the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles turned white as she let silent tears run down her face. She heaved and huffed, trying her best to keep her sorrow to herself.
“Mommy?” Skylar called out from the back.
YaYa cleared her throat. “Yes, baby,” she whispered. She was barely able to speak.
“I love you.”
YaYa took a deep breath and shook her head. Skylar’s words were always right on time. She was her inspiration. Skylar was a blessing, and she deserved a mother who had the strength to walk away from a situation that no longer served her. This had been a long time coming, and if she was honest with herself, she knew before she agreed to marry Indie that it was the wrong choice. He had come into her life at a time when she needed him. She was hustling men for their money. Her body had been for sale, and he had rescued her from all that. She had felt like a limited edition until she saw that he had cast the same spell over Parker. She would have loved Indie for the rest of their lives if she had never witnessed him love another woman. It had reduced the value of what he had given to her, and although she would always love him, she began to put up a guard that no one but Ethic could get through.
“I love you more, baby,” YaYa replied. This chapter of her life was ending, and although it was hard, she had to move on. YaYa didn’t know what was in store, but she knew one thing; she didn’t want to take the pain from this relationship into her next one. Ethic wasn’t an option, not right now. She needed to get herself together. Mentally and emotionally she was damaged. Some of it she had done to herself, some Indie had contributed, but it was up to her to repair it. It was time for her to decide who she was without a man. Without Indie. Without Ethic. She was going to make a life for herself and stand on her own two feet.
20
One Week Later
Grief was a tricky beast to tame, and as Indie bent over to help King adjust the tie to his black suit, his stomach was in knots. This was one of the hardest things Indie had ever had to do. His relationship with King was still developing. He was his father, but Indie knew he had a lot of time to make up for. Parker was gone, and with her went King’s sense of security. She had been the only constant in King’s life. Indie had big shoes to fill, and today he felt immense pressure to get this parenting thing right.
&
nbsp; “Your grandma and your aunts are all coming today. We are all here for you. I love you, and I’m here every step of the way. I know your heart feels real bad right now, King. It hurts, but your mother loved you very much. She lives on through you. She’s always right here,” Indie said as he pointed to King’s chest. “You have your very own guardian angel.”
King nodded and wiped the tears from his face as he sniffed loudly.
“You can cry, King. It’s okay for a man to cry. When you’re hurt, you don’t have to hold it in, son,” Indie said. He pulled King in for a hug and then guided him to the black car that was waiting outside.
Indie was all torn up inside. This day would have been so much easier if the rest of his world wasn’t full of turmoil. He hadn’t spoken to YaYa in days, and as much as he wanted to reach out to her, he refused to. His pride wouldn’t allow him to.
“Is YaYa and Skylar coming?” King asked.
Indie didn’t know why, but in the few days that YaYa had watched over his son, King had taken to her. He had asked for her every day since she had left.
“No, she won’t be here,” Indie answered. He left it there. He didn’t know how to explain to his son that the substitute family he had promised no longer existed. He and YaYa were just two people who used to be in love, fragmented souls that had hurt each other so deeply that they were beyond repair.
They pulled up to the church, and Indie noticed Parker’s mother and sisters waiting outside. He hadn’t seen them in over ten years, and based on the look on their faces, he knew that time hadn’t changed the way they felt about him. They were not fans of Indie Perkins. He was never good enough for Parker. A family full of maneaters, they got by on their good looks. They had expected their youngest and smartest sister to snag someone far above Indie’s street pedigree. It didn’t take long for them to read the guilty expression on his face and know that Parker was dead because of him. Indie took a deep breath, knowing that it would be a challenging day, and he led King over to the group.
Parker’s mother, Lauren, stepped up to him. “Now that you’ve delivered my grandson to me, you can leave. You are not welcome here, Indie.”
“As long as my son is here, I will be here,” Indie said.
“You see, that is where you are mistaken,” she answered. She reached into her expensive handbag and pulled out an envelope. “I’m the custodial guardian for King. Seeing as how you weren’t around to sign a birth certificate and there is nothing on record that you are King’s father, he will be coming home with me. Considering all of the legal troubles you’ve been having, it would probably be a waste of time to contest this.”
Indie clenched his jaw and stepped closely to this devil of a woman. “If you think you’re going to take my son, you’re mistaken. I ain’t the same little nigga you used to know.” Indie’s voice was low so that his son didn’t overhear the exchange, but he meant every word that he spoke.
“And I’m not the same weak woman you used to know. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve married into big money, and I will spare no expense to keep my grandson safe. I made a lot of mistakes with my daughter, and I missed a lot of time with her, fighting over the likes of you. I will not miss another day with King. Now, you can take that paperwork to any lawyer in town, and they will tell you that it’s legit. It’s ironclad. I can call the police and have you removed, or you can leave willingly. I don’t think you want King to witness you being escorted out of here. The choice is yours.”
Indie remembered the level of bitch he was dealing with. She was playing hardball. “I’ll leave, but after the service,” he said. “I don’t want my son to look back on this day and think I deserted him.”
Lauren was sitting on a high horse, but Indie remembered how she used to get high and fuck for cash. He would hate to have to bring her down a notch.
Indie walked past Lauren and guided his son up the church steps, where a man stood in his path.
“I’m only going to tell you once to leave,” the man said.
Indie’s brow bent in anger. This was the wrong day to be fucking with him. It seemed like the entire universe was working against him. Everything that he cherished was being removed from him. His wife and daughter were already gone, now Parker’s mother was trying to take his son.
Indie laughed and bumped the man with his shoulder as he walked into the church.
When the man grabbed his arm, Indie pulled him into him and took his gun off his waistline discreetly. He stood so close to the man that no one saw that Indie had it pressed into the man’s rib cage. “Don’t lose your life over this, mu’fucka. I’m just here to pay my respects and support my son. You understand?”
The man nodded eagerly, and Indie tucked his weapon in his own waistband then adjusted his suit jacket before escorting his son inside.
Indie stood behind King, gripping his shoulders as they viewed Parker’s body together. The remorse he felt was so heavy that he had to grit his teeth to stop himself from breaking down at the altar. The sound of King crying out for his mother was heart-wrenching and Indie silently wondered if Lauren was right. He deserves so much better than me. I’m the reason he has to grow up without a mother. I fucked up. I fucked everything up, he thought. I’m in the middle of a case. All my money is tied up by the feds. She’s right. He’s better off with her right now. Until I get my shit together, I don’t have a choice but to leave him with her.
Indie stayed through the service, and when it was over, he bent down so that he was eye level with his son.
“I love you very much, King, but there are some things that I need to take care of before you can come live with me. You have to go live with your Grandma Lauren for a little while.”
“I want to live with you, Dad,” King said. “Please, I swear I won’t get in the way. I’ll help YaYa, and I’ll be a good brother to Skylar. You said that was my family.”
Indie lowered his head, and the tears he had been holding all during the service threatened to surface. His child was pleading his case. “You are a perfect son, King. You didn’t do anything wrong. We are your family,” Indie said. His lip trembled, and he had to stop speaking briefly to compose himself. He cleared his throat before continuing, “Your grandma has lawyers, and they set it up so that you spend some time with them. I’m going to come back for you. I promise. On my life. So it’s okay. You spend a little time over there, and before you know it, you’ll be home with me. They love you, and they will take really good care of you,” Indie said.
King nodded, and Indie kissed the top of his head, pulling King into him. He blinked away his emotions. “I love you, man. Okay? I promise you, I’m going to come get you.”
King was too emotional to respond with words, but he nodded. Indie stood and faced Lauren.
“I’m coming back for my son,” he said.
“Good luck with that,” Lauren answered. She wrapped an arm around King’s shoulders, and Indie stormed out of the church, anger pulsing through him as he left his son behind.
Indie had nothing left to lose. He was at the lowest he had ever been. For the past few years he had relied on YaYa to keep him reeled in. He had focused on her to keep himself from running wild in the streets. He didn’t know how to cope without her, and despite the fact that they were no longer together, he had an overwhelming desire to see her. Indie was ready to blow up the entire church over his son, and he needed YaYa to talk him off the ledge before he did something that he might regret.
* * *
Swallowing his pride was extremely hard to do, but there were just times in a man’s life when the only person that could bring peace to his soul was his woman. Not Parker, not his mother, not any other walking this earth could do that for this particular man, except Disaya. It boggled him how the same woman who caused him hell was the only woman who could make life feel heavenly as well. Love was a hell of a drug. Despite her faults, he was crazy about YaYa. He knew that putting her out was a low blow. He had sent her to the streets with their daughter beca
use she had bruised his ego. It was a double standard for him to seek her forgiveness for his infidelity but to punish her for the affair she had with Ethic. He couldn’t help it, however. He was all man, and no man wanted to think of another man inside his woman. Indie was haunted by the idea of Ethic pleasing YaYa, providing for YaYa. It was enough to get him heated all over again, but still he ventured toward Manhattan, where he knew Disaya would be holed up.
His driver pulled up to the five-star hotel, and Indie was filled with hope. Hope for the future, hope for forgiveness, hope that he could piece the foundation of his family back together, piece by piece. He had every expectation that he could fix this and that the sight of YaYa would turn his bad day around. Their love could survive this. He was feeling empty, void of value, extinct of importance when it came to his family. His wife was gone, his son was taken, and his daughter was collateral damage in it all. He was going to tuck his tail, concede, and be the bigger person so that he could begin to put the pieces of his life back together. That was the plan. That was his intention, until he saw YaYa exiting the hotel with Ethic, and he saw his daughter holding each of their hands as she swung playfully between them. Indie frowned as he noticed another little girl trailing behind them, holding the hand of another little boy.
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