Breaking Ice (The Jendari Book 2)

by Delwyn Jenkins

  Tallis asked the occasional question, but for the most part, he just let Kasim vent.

  By the time Kasim started talking about his rescue, he was so deep in memory he didn’t even edit his thoughts. Words spilled without conscious arrangement, and when he was done, he realised he’d given away more than he’d intended.

  Sighing, he took a swig of beer and brought his focus back to the present. “So there you have it. The last few weeks of my life in the space of half an hour.”

  “It’s a shame we can’t sing to heal our hearts.”

  Kasim nodded his agreement. All rhe’hashan had the gift of healing, which they could trigger with their song. The strength of that gift varied from person to person but, no matter how gifted the practitioner, the healing only worked on the physical level. There was no song of healing for the emotional wounds Kasim carried.

  Tallis gave him a speculative look. “What about Winter? How’s she coping with all the upheaval?”

  Better than Kasim, Goddess willing. “I don’t know. I haven’t checked on her.” Which made him an asshole. Winter’s strength and courage were the only reasons Kasim was free, yet he hadn’t even called her to make sure she was all right.

  “You haven’t checked on her.” Tallis’s tone was observational rather than judgemental. “Because you don’t care or because you’re avoiding her?”

  Kasim winced. Trust Tallis to see into the core of the problem. “Of course I care about her. I’m not exaggerating when I say I owe her my life. It’s just…” Kasim scrubbed his hands through his hair. “Honestly, I’m barely functioning. I can’t sleep more than a few hours at a time and I wake up screaming several times a night. I’ve spent the last week more in fur than in skin because my lepardine doesn’t see the sense in obsessing about things we can’t change. Unfortunately, when I’m in my skin, that’s all I think about. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own crap, it’s taking everything I have to hold it together.” He put the bottle to his lips, tipping it up until it was empty. “I know it makes me the worst kind of asshole, but I haven’t been stable enough to see her.”

  “You don’t have to see her. You could just give her a call.”

  Kasim shook his head. “I didn’t want to call her from New Havilah.” Even if he had been up to it. “Calling her from there would leave an information trail. There are too many separatists in the settlement for me put her at risk.”

  A small but powerful group of Jendari believed the clans should keep themselves completely separate from humans. If they had their way, the tower would be closed down, offers to share technology would be withdrawn, and the Jendari would bunker down in their settlements and never come out.

  However, there were others who believed the only way to thrive on this planet was to cohabitate with humans in every sense of the word.

  Until recently, Kasim hadn’t had an opinion one way or another. But meeting Jaz, and seeing her with Tallis had put Kasim squarely in the pro-mixing camp. But now he’d met Winter, he realized that fraternizing also had its dangers.

  Tallis gestured to the phone. “Well, you’re home now. Are you going to call her?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe.” Was there any point? He’d call and ask after her, she’d tell him she was fine, and then that would be that.

  “Jaz had a sleepover with Winter last night.”

  “Oh?” The words “sleep” and “Winter” in the same sentence sparked images of her that last morning, all soft and drowsy. Kasim blocked them out and gave Tallis the evil eye. “So, you already know how she is.”

  Tallis shrugged. “Only second hand.”

  “And?”

  “Jaz says Winter was pretty freaked out by the whole experience, which is understandable. She also said Winter talked about you.”

  “Oh?” And just like that, his heart leaped into double time.

  “That’s the third time you’ve responded with a one-syllable question. You’re overplaying the nonchalance.”

  “Fuck off.” Kasim bared his teeth. “There’s a two-syllable statement.”

  Tallis laughed. “You like Winter more than you want to.”

  How could he not? She was beautiful, smart, sexy, and courageous. He admired almost everything about her. Not that he would be admitting that any time soon.

  “What did she say about me?”

  “Apparently, the details are bound by best-friend clause of confidentiality. But reading between the lines, I’d say you made quite an impact.”

  Kasim was sure he had. It wasn’t every day that a woman had sex with a man who was starving for affection yet couldn’t bear to be touched. A man who wanted connection almost as badly as he wanted to run away from it. Yeah, he was prize all right. Maybe they’d both be better off if he stayed away.

  “There’s something else that you might be interested in,” Tallis said. “Winter has been invited to a high-level HEC fundraiser. Apparently some of the power brokers want to meet her and discuss her alien encounter.”

  Kasim frowned, thinking of all the ways that kind of scrutiny would put her in danger. “Does she think her cover’s broken? Are they trying to set her up?”

  “Doubtful.” Tallis’s tone implied he’d done his own heavy thinking about Winter’s situation. “If they knew she was a journalist, their solution would be much quieter and more permanent.”

  Rubbing his beard, Kasim turned the information over in his head. “Trying to infiltrate the HEC at mid-level was dangerous enough for her. Rubbing shoulders with the top tier puts a target on her back, especially after she helped me escape.”

  Which was all true, and that should have been where his mind stopped—right at the point where Winter’s safety was his only concern. But the darkness that lived inside him, that venomous place that hungered for revenge, pushed his thoughts forward to their worst conclusion. “But if she does go to the fundraiser, she’ll be exposed to the people who hold HEC together. If she gives us names and faces, we can track them and monitor what they’re up to.”

  The benefits of that scenario were all too clear. If he and Shallamar could track down the people responsible for his imprisonment, if he could make them pay, then some of his demons would be appeased. Instead of feeling weak and exposed—as he did now—he’d feel in control once again. Taking charge of his vengeance would be a big step toward taking charge of his life. He was plotting the ways Winter could help him when Tallis put a spike in his plans.

  “I don’t think Winter has decided whether she’s going or not. As you pointed out, it’s a dangerous proposition even if her cover is intact. And if they are on to her, walking into that event would be her death sentence.”

  Kasim knew that was a risk. But his inner darkness seemed determined to find a go-around. “True enough. But what if we could protect her?”

  “How?”

  “I don’t know yet, but there must be a way.”

  There had to be. He was too close to the information he needed to back away now.

  ****

  Later that evening, Kasim climbed out of a tower SUV in a grimy back alley in Soho. Pulling the hood of his sweatshirt forward to cover his face, he made his way up the rickety metal staircase at the back of building.

  He’d called Winter late that afternoon to arrange the meeting, and hearing her voice woke emotions he thought he’d buried over the last week. The feelings he had for her were useless to him, so he’d boxed them up and pushed them aside. But speaking to her had broken that box wide open.

  And now he was going see to her face-to-face, breathe in her scent, be close enough to touch. Just the thought of it made him yearn so hard he ached.

  Standing at the outer door, he stared at the green peeling paint and waited until he forced his emotions back under control. Then he mentally covered himself in a layer of ice, hard and impenetrable. His desire for Winter was too complex for him to control, so his only choice was to smother it.

  And considering the conversation he was about to have with her, what h
e was going to ask to do, it was best his emotions weren’t engaged. He couldn’t afford to feel sorry for her, and he couldn’t give in to the protective instincts that were a part of every rhe’hashan.

  Squaring his shoulders, he knocked on the door.

  Footsteps from inside, light and quick. And then the door opened and all his hard work evaporated.

  She was so beautiful he could hardly breathe. She wore a long-sleeved t-shirt and form-fitting pants that showed sleek lines of her legs. Her dark hair fell in shiny waves over her shoulders and her dainty feet were bare.

  Kasim breathed her in, taking her essence into his body, imprinting her scent on both man and cat.

  “Are you okay?” She half-reached for him, but let her hand drop before she made contact.

  “Yes,” he lied. “May I come in?”

  “Oh, sorry.” Stepping back, she ushered him over the threshold. “Just go on up.”

  The entrance way was tall and narrow, with a bare set of wooden stairs that led to a second landing. That space was so small he had to press himself against the wall so Winter could get past him and unlock her apartment door.

  Kasim made a mental note to do something about her security. A dark alley, exposed external stairs, an outer door with a single deadlock and no sensor lights. No alarms either. Winter may as well hang out a sign that declared her easy prey.

  “Come in.” She preceded him into the apartment and closed the door behind him. Kasim stepped further into the room, curious to see how she lived.

  The lounge area was small, as was the kitchen he could see on the other side of the room. But it was neat and tidy in a way that looked comfortable and lived in. The sofas and chairs were clearly second hand, but the colorful throws and cushions made the entire space cozy and welcoming. There were a couple of prints on the walls and an array of photographs on the sideboard. Curious, he walked over to have a look. Most were pictures of Winter and Jasmine, both alone and together. Right at the back, almost teetering on the edge, were two photos of a woman and—presumably—her daughter. In one image the girl was five or six, beaming up at the camera with innocent joy. The other was of a teenager, smiling for the camera but not happy. Those big brown eyes held too much pain for a girl her age.

  Carefully, he picked them both up. “You and your mother?”

  “Yes.”

  “You don’t look like her.” Winter’s mother was lovely, in a blonde, blue-eyed kind of way. Nothing like the wild, dark beauty of her daughter.

  “I get my coloring from my father.” And with that Winter gently removed the photos from his hands and put them back.

  Kasim took the hint and found himself a seat on the largest of the two armchairs. “How are you, Winter?”

  “Good, thank you. And you?” She sat opposite him on the other chair, a small scarred table between them.

  “Getting there.”

  She folded her arms and looked at him as if he was taking up too much of her time. Clearly she’d moved past whatever bond they formed during their time together. Kasim wished he could say the same.

  “So, what can I do for you?” She was all business now. “Jaz said you wanted to talk to me about the HEC.”

  Mirroring her behavior, Kasim kept his voice cool and professional. “I was talking with Tallis, and when I asked after you, he mentioned you’d been invited to a HEC fundraiser.”

  She cocked an eyebrow. “Did he also mention I haven’t decided if I’m going or not?”

  “He did.” Softening his tone—he wanted her to help him, after all—Kasim leaned forward a little. “I understand your hesitation. The kind of power that will be in that room is dangerous, and going in there undercover is a risk.”

  “But you want me to go anyway.” Her voice was flat, but somehow she managed to sound disappointed in him.

  “I do.” Locking his gaze with hers, he held his line. “This is the kind of chance neither of us will have again. And if you do attend, you’ll be getting facts for your story but you’ll also be helping me. And, in return, I’d like to help you.”

  “How?”

  “I’ll fit you with some Jendari tech, and my brothers and I will be with you every step of the way. In the unlikely event that something does go wrong, we can have you out in seconds.”

  She crossed her arms and he tried not to notice how the action plumped her breasts. Scowling, she tapped her fingers. “So if I get into trouble, you and your friends will come and get me?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’ll run into a room full of high-flyers, and all the attending security, and completely expose yourselves. Just to rescue me.”

  “Yes.” It was simple and straightforward enough. He had no idea what her difficulty was.

  “So, you expect me to go into the lion’s den, and then trust that you’ll to turn up if they try to eat me?”

  “Yes.” He knew Winter was smart, so it wasn’t as though she didn’t understand what he was saying. But she was angry about something, and he knew was missing a key element in their discussion. He just had no idea what that might be.

  “You’re asking me to take a lot on faith.” She unfolded her arms and her body softened. “Look, we met under pretty intense circumstances, but we don’t know each other very well. Now I’m sure you’re a great guy and all, but the level of trust your proposal requires goes way beyond what we have now.” Curling her feet under her, she gave him a look that was almost apologetic. “I understand your need to track down the men who took you. Just as you understand my need to expose the men behind Jaz’s kidnapping. But what I don’t think you understand is how vulnerable I’ll be at that event.” She gestured to his body. “How could you? You’re twice my size and bigger than most human men. You’re a trained warrior with a me’hendra on call. And you have technology that’s way beyond our human engineers.”

  She blew out a noisy breath. “And on top of all that you’re asking me to trust you, a man I barely know, with my life.”

  Kasim absorbed and analyzed every word. “So, it all comes down to trust?”

  “Yes.”

  Okay, that was something he could work with. Trust was something he could build, but he’d have to do it quickly. The gala ball was just over a week away, and they needed to start preparations.

  He sat for a moment, picking up and discarding ideas until he hit on one that was big enough, powerful enough, to ease her fears. A secret large enough to get him banished from the clans if anyone found out he’d shared it with a human.

  “How about an exchange of trust?” he asked. “I’m asking you to put your life in my hands, so I will put mine in yours.”

  Winter’s brown eyes widened. “I’m not sure I want that responsibility.”

  “Don’t you?” He knew enough about Winter to target her natural curiosity. “You have an intelligent, inquiring mind. Don’t you want to know what I’m offering?”

  “Of course I do. But my intelligent, inquiring mind is worried about the price I’ll have to pay.”

  He shook his head. “Not payment. Just an equal exchange.”

  What he was about to do violated one of his oaths as a rhe’hashan, and if the Elders found out, he could lose everything that made him who he was. But it was the only strategy he could think of that would fulfil the promised he’d made to Winter. Trust for trust, life for life.

  Easing out of the chair, he moved to a clear section of carpet and faced her. Then lowered himself to his knees. “What I’m about to show you cannot leave this room.” For both their sakes. “Will you give me your word?”

  “Yes.” She leaned forward, eyes bright, lips parted. And in that moment, Kasim knew he had her.

  “The rhe’hashan have many skills and abilities. We can speak to our me’hendra mind-to-mind, as you know. We have some healing abilities, we have enhanced senses, and our speed and strength far exceed the limits of a civilian Jendari.” All of which she already knew from her encounter with him.

  He licked his suddenly dry li
ps. “I also have the ability to phase. To change my shape from man to lepardine.” When he saw her look of confusion, he continued. “My lepardine is feline, like Shallamar, only bigger.”

  “Bigger?” There was a thread of anxiety in her voice. “Like teeth and claws bigger?”

  “Of course.” How else could he hunt? “My form changes, but my mind is still the same. I have two bodies, but only one soul. Whether I am in skin or fur, I’m still me. You can talk to me, and I’ll hear you just as I do now.”

  She still didn’t seemed convinced, so he broke another confidence. “Tallis has this ability, too. Apparently, Jasmine adores him in tigaren form.”

  Suddenly, she gave a decisive nod and stood up. “All right. Let’s do it.”

  Kasim bowed his head so she wouldn’t see the triumph in his eyes. Then he began to sing. Opening his heart to the power of the Goddess, he let her magic fill him with pure, divine love. Gentle warmth suffused his body and prickles of joy raced over his skin, sprouting fur in its wake. Between one blink and the next, he phased from a rhe’hashan to lepardine.

  “Christ on a crutch.” Winter fisted her hands and dropped to her knees, her eyes glued to him. “You still in there, Kasim?” Her question came out on a whisper.

  He nodded his head. Dropping to his belly so he didn’t tower over her, Kasim crawled forward until he was just inches away.

  Her hands flexed on her thighs. “I know you don’t like to be touched, and normally I would never ask…”

  Kasim chuffed at her, creeping closer still. Then he pushed his head under her hand.

  “Is that a yes?” she asked.

  He gave a short purr and pushed again.

  Laughing, Winter threaded her fingers into his pelt. “Oh, my God. You feel amazing. Your fur is so thick and soft.”

  And she kept petting. She stroked, rubbed, scratched, and massaged until Kasim was almost writhing with joy. His purr was a constant, loud drone and it was taking all his control not to push Winter to the floor and put his scent all over her.