He made it sound so simple. So possible. “Are you sure I’ll still be able to work?”
“Yes, I promise.”
“And you won’t mind if I go out with my friends?”
He screwed up his face. “Of course I’ll mind. I’d rather you be with me than anyone else, but I understand the necessity of maintaining your human friendships.” Then he smiled, and her heart lit up with joy. “I shouldn’t tell you this, because it will come back to bite me on the ass, but the truth is, as your mate, I’ll do anything to make you happy. Working, seeing friends, going out to shows and exhibitions. I’ll accommodate whatever it is you need.”
Wow. Kasim had just given her everything she asked for. So why did she feel like she wanted to be sick? Dropping down onto his chest, she snuggled in and tried to work out why she wasn’t jumping for joy. Kasim said he loved her, promised her job would be safe, and acknowledged her need for her human friends. So, what was her problem?
Kasim sifted his fingers through her hair. “You’re not convinced.” It came out as a statement not a question.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m still fence sitting.”
“Do you not trust me, Winter? Do you think I’m lying to you about the mating bond?”
“No.” She wriggled higher, leaning back a little so she could meet his eyes. “I trust you and your promises.”
“Ah. Then it’s yourself you don’t trust.”
“I … what?” No, that couldn’t be right.
Kasim eased her down so she was pressed against the back of the sofa, lying face-to-face. “You believe I love you, you believe I want you for my mate. You trust me to keep my word.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “But what you don’t trust is your ability to stand your ground. You’ve spent so long striving to be strong and independent, you think it’s a goal yet to be achieved. You don’t realize you’re already there.”
Oh, my God. Could that be true? Closing her eyes, she weighed Kasim’s words—not just in her mind, but in her heart as well. The truth was she did trust him, and she knew he would never hurt her.
The resistance she’d felt, her reluctance to commit, had nothing to do with him or his trustworthiness.
It was all her.
She popped her eyes open. “Well, shit.”
Kasim sniggered. “Yep.”
This was the moment. She could cling to the past like a coward, or she could take the leap. Fear surged inside her, clutching with a cold grip. If she agreed to be Kasim’s mate, nothing would be the same. But then, nothing would be the same if she walked away either.
She broke into a nervous sweat and her hands shook when her brain caught up with what her heart was about to do.
“Yes.” The single word came out in a choked croak. “Yes, Kasim, I’ll be your mate.”
Grinning, he rolled on top of her. “That’s my brave, beautiful Winter.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
After kissing Winter senseless, Kasim picked her up and carried her to the loft. Lowering her feet to the hardwood floor, he carefully stripped her naked. Her dark hair tumbled down her back and her golden skin glowed in sunlight coming through the windows. Not bothering to hide his greediness, Kasim let his gaze travel up and down her spectacular body. She shivered as though he’d stroked her with his hands rather than his gaze, and then her nipples tightened in need.
That was enough to snap his restraint.
Tearing at his clothes until he was in nothing but skin, he was on her before she realized his intent. With a surprised squeak, she clung to him as he propelled them onto the bed. He took her mouth in a hard, demanding kiss. She arched into him, rubbing her soft, silky skin against the hard planes of his body.
Her hands roamed his back, squeezing and kneading, and he shuddered at her touch. The mating bond had vanquished his demons, and all he felt now was the joy of having Winter’s hands on his body.
His mate. His home.
Keeping his mouth on hers, he cupped her breasts, pinching and rolling her nipples. She moaned into his mouth and tried to pull him closer, widening her legs to cradle him between her thighs.
By the Goddess, he was on fire for her. The need to mate, to solidify their bond rode him hard. Surrounded as he was by her taste and smell, he didn’t have a chance at regaining control. The only thing he could do was warn her.
“I can’t wait, shamira. I need—”
“Me too,” she panted. “I’m ready.”
He hoped that was true. He rolled to his side and ordered her to turn over. When she didn’t move quickly enough, he helped her along, moving her onto her stomach before lifting her hips so she could get her knees under her.
Scrambling to kneel between her legs, he stroked his hands over her glorious ass, wishing he had the patience to linger. But her arousal was heavy in the air, and he didn’t have the will to deny either of them. Moving closer, he placed his cock at her hot, wet center. Then he came down over her, his chest pressed to her back.
Sweeping her hair to one side, he bared her neck and nuzzled the delicate skin. “Are you ready to accept me, Winter?”
“Yes.”
“Do you willingly agree to be my mate?”
“Yes.”
His love for her swelled inside him, filling him up until his skin felt too small for his body. He gripped her hips, his heart almost pounding out of his chest, and then he pushed. Sliding his cock inside her in one long, slow glide, he shuddered at the intensity of her tight heat. She was so small beneath him, so trusting, so perfect.
He pressed until he was balls deep, physically and emotionally connected in a way he’d never been before. His control was hanging by a thread. “I might not be as gentle as I should be.” He nipped her neck. “I want you too much.”
“I want you, too.”
Then his gorgeous mate squeezed her internal muscles, gripping his cock, creating an agony of pleasure. With a moan of defeat, Kasim gripped her hips and pounded into her. No lead up, no soft words, just pure, sweet fucking. The pleasure was indescribable, and Kasim knew he wouldn’t last long. His balls pulled up tight, and just before he came, he bit the soft, fleshly part of Winter’s shoulder. It was a special kind of bite. One that would break the skin but not cause any pain. One that would leave a silvery scar—a mating mark she would wear on her skin until the Goddess called her home.
Holding Winter to him with arm, teeth, and cock, he pounded into her until they were both sweaty and gasping. Then exploded, pouring everything he was into her welcoming body.
When the shudders finally stopped, he wrapped his arms around her and sat back on his heels. Her back to his front, his cock still firmly in place.
“Okay?” he asked.
“Of course.” Winter laughed, lifting her hands to link at the back of his neck. He gloried in her touch.
“Keep your hands where they are.”
Pleasing himself, he ran his hands over her breasts, rubbing and pinching her nipples until the hard little points grew tight from his attentions. Winter made needy sounds at the back of her throat and squirmed on his lap, every movement creating slick friction. Keeping one hand busy on her breasts, he slid the other hand down her body to where they were joined. He could feel her, stretched tight to take his cock, wet from their combined orgasms.
Easing his fingers up to her clit, he rubbed one side then the other. Instinctively, her hips matched his rhythm, sliding her core up and down his cock. Banding his free hand around her waist to hold her still, he rubbed directly over her clit, hard and fast. The orgasm crashed over her, and she cried out as her body jerked and spasmed in his arms. As soon as she crested, he gentled his touch, milking her pleasure until she gripped his wrist and moved his hand away.
With a sigh of satisfaction, he lifted Winter from his still-hard cock and laid her down on the bed. Nestling next to her, his head on her shoulder, he immersed himself in the novelty of being held. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he rubbed his beard on the smooth skin of her
breast.
“Will you hear my song, Winter?”
She petted his back and shoulders. “Is this part of the mating ritual?”
“Not entirely. A Jendari can sing his or her song for many reasons. It’s a way for us to be known to each other.” He ran his hand over her hip. “You’re my mate, the most essential person in my life. It’s important to me that you know my song.”
Her slender arms squeezed him tight. “I’d be honored.”
So he sang. Using the melody that was unique to him, he sang the story of his life. Some parts had been heard before by others, but much of this song was hers alone. There were some things only a mate should hear.
When he was done, her chest lifted and dropped on a heavy sigh. “That was beautiful. Thank you.”
He curved his hand over her breast, brushing his thumb against her pale-brown nipple. “You’re most welcome.”
“I wish I had a song to sing to you.”
Smiling, Kasim rolled on top of her and made room for himself between her legs. “You do have your own song, shamira, and it’s beautiful.” He kissed his way down her body. “In fact, I think I’d like to hear it again.”
Winter laughed as he shouldered her legs apart and brought his head level with her core. “That’s my song, is it? Moaning and begging and screaming as I come?”
“Yes.” It was the most perfect song he’d ever heard, and he planned to hear it as often as she’d allow.
****
Later that afternoon, Kasim sat in his office with the door closed. His mate was asleep in bed, currently being guarded by a newly possessive Shallamar. Kasim was dressed in his leathers, waiting for Borini K’ahel to answer his comm. The old bastard took his time, but there was nothing new in that. Goddess forbid that a rhe’hashan would think their leader had nothing better to do than hang around his office waiting for their call.
The screen blinked on, showing Borini’s unlined face and his short, slightly greying hair. “Kasim. What can I do for you?”
Kasim just came out with it. There was no point dissembling, and Borini didn’t have the patience for people who couldn’t get straight to the point. “I wanted to formally advise you that I have mated Winter Nayar.”
Borini’s jaw dropped. A momentary loss of control so rare, Kasim had never seen it. Borini blinked a couple of times, rubbed his hand over his face, and took a breath. “Well, that’s … unexpected.”
Kasim nodded. His aversion to touch was an open secret among his friends, and Borini was close enough with his warriors to be aware of all of their strengths and weaknesses.
“That’s a sudden turnaround.” Borini still looked a little dazed.
“I’m sure it seems that way, from the outside.” Kasim’s demons might be somewhat known, but there was no way he was going to haul them out in front of Borini for examination. “Winter and I are not strangers to each other. She knows the best and worst of who I am, and she agreed to be my mate anyway.” Kasim did his best to put a note of finality into his tone.
Borini bowed his head briefly in acknowledgement. The mating was done, and there was nothing anyone could do about that.
“Congratulations, my brother.” Borini leaned back in his chair. “How are we going to protect her?”
We, not you. That phrasing was one of the reasons Borini had the rhe’hashan’s unconditional loyalty.
The humans who would do Winter harm were only part of the problem. His mate also had to be protected from the Jendari who believed keeping the races separate was crucial to their survival. A view Borini vehemently opposed.
“I want to undertake the am’chai ceremony with Winter.”
The mating bond they currently shared was particular to the rhe’hashan. Only the warrior class had a secondary form, so most Jendari didn’t understand the full extent of the bond. Kasim could think of all too many ways that connection could be stretched and sundered. But the am’chai ceremony created a bond that was blessed by the Goddess herself—and nothing short of death could break the link.
Borini’s eyes narrowed. “After Tallis and Jasmine became am’chai, the Elder Council made a law that only clansfolk could undertake the ceremony. Humans weren’t expressly forbidden, but as they’re not clan…”
Kasim leaned forward. “I’ve been thinking about that.”
On Jendar, a person was born into a clan and most folk lived their lives in that same territory. But if they moved into a new territory on a permanent basis, they had the option of being adopted into the new clan. Kasim figured they could do the same for his mate.
“If I can find someone to adopt Winter into their clan, she would meet the criteria for the am’chai ceremony.”
“Who would you ask?”
“My cousin, Mikko. He was on our seed ship and he lives in the Australian settlement.”
“And you think he’ll agree?”
“I think I have to ask.”
Borini’s gaze fell to the middle distance, his fingers tapping a rhythm on the desk top. “All right. Do it.”
“I have one more request.” Kasim knew he was pushing his luck, and the hostile frown Borini sent his way confirmed it.
“What?”
“I don’t want to put Winter or my brothers at risk by going to New Havilah for the ceremony.”
When Tallis and Jasmine had their am’chai ceremony, Kasim, his brothers, and their me’hendra had fought hand-to-hand with the rhe’hashan assigned to protect the Elders. It was a situation nobody wanted to repeat.
“So, what’s your solution?” Borini asked.
“I’d like to have the ceremony here, in New York. Tallis and Deasun’s roof garden is green enough, and it has the security to keep out anyone not specifically invited.”
Borini winced. “You want me to ask Jamar to come to New York?”
Kasim nodded, fully aware the priestess would not be happy about the request. And he was also aware that Borini might bluster and complain, but he wouldn’t refuse to help.
In a show of indignation, he glared through the screen. “You, Kasim Ta’nehr, are a pain in my fucking ass.”
Kasim grinned. “Thank you, Borini.”
With a growl that would have intimidated a lesser rhe’hashan, Borini shut down comms.
Kasim gazed at the blank screen and sent up a heartfelt prayer to the Goddess. As his mate, Winter had the protection of Kasim, his brothers, and their me’hendras. But as his am’chai, she would have the protection of the entire Jendari race—including all the tech at their disposal.
Once she was am’chai, nobody would be able to take her from him. Not the HEC, human law, or the Jendari separatists.
Now all he had to do was convince her that bonding to him for life—with no avenue for separation or divorce—was a good idea. Yeah, nothing to it.
Chapter Twenty-Five
A week after agreeing to become Kasim’s mate, Winter sat on the bed in her best friend’s spare room, still trying to process her new reality. She was wrapped in a luxurious bathrobe that Kasim had bought for her—to wear on her wedding day.
She was getting married. To an alien. Who was sometimes a man and sometimes a ginormous cat. Nothing weird or freaky going on there.
Part of her was running toward the event with a joyous heart, but there was still a part of her that was shit scared. The “what ifs” were driving her crazy. What if Kasim fell out of love with her at some point and walked away? What if she really was like her mother and couldn’t function without a man in her life? What if she ended up—
“Stop it.” Jaz’s voice came through the doorway a split second before she arrived in person. “I know what you’re doing, Winter. I can hear your panic-thoughts from here.”
And that was the downside of having a friend who knew her—and loved her—like a sister. Jaz was aware of all of Winter’s quirks, and she wasn’t afraid to call bullshit on the ones she didn’t like.
Winter scrubbed her hands through her freshly washed hair. “I feel like I’v
e been split down the middle. Half of me wants to rush forward in reckless abandon, the other half wants to run for the hills. Christ on a crutch, should I be this much of a mess?”
Jaz sat on the bed and pulled Winter into a tight, comforting hug. “It’s normal to be nervous on your wedding day.”
“You weren’t.” Winter had seen Jaz on the morning of her am’chai ceremony, and she’d been beautiful, serene, and sure of her choices.
Jaz chuckled. “No. I was so ready to have Tallis as my own, I can’t even tell you.” Dropping her arms, Jaz linked her fingers with Winter’s. “I don’t have the same baggage as you. My crap throws up plenty of challenges, but none of them revolve around marriage.” No, that was Winter’s particular sandpit of hell.
“So,” Jaz said in a no-nonsense tone. “Let’s work through this logically. The mating bond is complete between you and Kasim. Which means what?”
Winter rolled her eyes at being treated like a three-year-old, but she played the game. “It means that Kasim’s lepardine has bound himself to me, and I’m his one and only.”
“Yep. And if he tries to cut himself off from you, he will sicken and die.” Which was almost what happened to Tallis when he separated himself from Jaz in an effort to protect her. The memory must have still been too fresh for Jaz, because the deep breath she took wasn’t quite steady. “All right. What about the am’chai ceremony?”
Winter looked down, barely registering the pink-painted toes that peeked out from the hem of her robe. The am’chai ceremony was the cause of her temporary schizophrenia. The permanency of it was both thrilling and terrifying.
She swallowed against her sudden case of dry mouth. “The am’chai ceremony, if sanctified by the Goddess, will bind Kasim and me together permanently. There’s no option of separation or divorce. Neither of us can leave, nor can anyone force the dissolution of our relationship.”
Breaking Ice (The Jendari Book 2) Page 22