That two-sentence explanation was an extremely simplified paraphrase of the conversations she’d had with Kasim. And Tallis, and Jaz. Even Borini had contributed, wanting to be sure she understood the sacred commitment she was going to make.
Which put her right back into warmly-comforted-but-paralyzed-with-fear territory.
Jaz gave her an understanding smile. “It’s a big call, and it requires a degree of trust we wouldn’t normally give.”
“No.” Winter looked up, giving her lips a wry twist. “But there’s nothing normal about any of this, is there?”
“And thank God for that. Normal is totally over rated.” Jaz leaned in to bump shoulders. “I guess there’s only one question to ask yourself at this point. Do you want to live with Kasim or without him?”
“With.” And that single truth scared the hell out her. Facing Jaz’s blue-green gaze, Winter whispered the words that were the very heart of her fears. “I can’t bear the thought of living without him. And that makes me just like my mother.”
“Oh, honey, no. No it doesn’t.” Jaz pulled Winter into a hug that was pure love. “You’re nothing like your mother. Your mom didn’t know how to be on her own, and you’ve been thriving independently since you were sixteen. You’re kind, loyal, and thoughtful. You’re the smartest person I know.” Easing back, Jaz placed her hands on Winter’s shoulders. “You have excellent judgment when it comes to people, and you’re really good at knowing who you can and can’t trust. If you were like your mother, you’d have been in and out of a dozen relationships by now.”
Winter caught movement in her peripheral vision and her heart nearly dropped out of her chest when she saw Kasim leaning against the door frame. How much had he heard?
His mask was in place, giving nothing away. “How many serious relationships have you had, Winter?”
Winter replied to him, even though he already knew the answer. “None.”
Kasim nodded as though that made complete sense. “That’s because you were always meant for me. As I am meant for you.” Pushing away from the door, he prowled forward and dropped to his knees at her feet. Gathering her clammy hands in his, he lifted them for a brief kiss. “You’re not like your mother. And I’m not like the men she brought into her home.” His ice-blue eyes burned with heat—for her. “I’m not with you because it’s easy or convenient. I’m not going to send you out to work while I sit at home and drink beer. I will never dishonor you or family.” When he said family, he nodded to Jaz to make it clear which family he was talking about. “You will always be my priority. My first thought in the morning and my last one at night. You are the beat of my heart, Winter. To hurt you is to hurt myself.”
Sliding off the bed, Winter landed in his lap, her arms wrapped tight around his neck. Pressing close, she whispered in his ear. “I’m only scared because I love you so much.”
“I know. I love you too.” He rubbed his lips against her temple. “But I’m not scared. I’m so full of hope and joy my body can barely hold it in. I’ve spent most of my life frozen on the inside, but you broke that ice wide open. You’re the warm breeze on my skin and the sunshine on my heart.” Cradling her close, he smoothed her hair with a gentle hand. “Be my am’chai. Have the courage to trust my love for you is true.”
Winter burrowed in nice and tight. “I’m not my mother.”
“No.”
“You’re not like any human male I’ve known.” Good or bad.
“This is true.” He tried to sound solemn, but she could hear the smile creeping into his voice.
She kissed his neck, breathed him in, and accepted the fact that she couldn’t envision a life without him in it. “I’m in.”
He purred and the sound was so sexual she went into instant arousal. “You’d better stop that,” she said. “We don’t want to give Jaz a peep show.”
Kasim moved just enough that he could shove his hand inside her robe and cup her breast. “Jaz left the minute you climbed onto my lap.”
Winter arched into him. “She’s a treasure, that girl.”
“She is.” Keeping his hand where it was, Kasim kissed her hot, slow, and sexy. He pulled away all too soon. “We have to stop. Our brothers and sisters will be arriving soon, and I don’t want to be interrupted when they come looking for us.” Reluctantly, he removed his hand from her breast. “And, I want to wait.” His eyes were so hot, she could feel them searing her soul. “The next time I’m inside you, it will be as your am’chai.”
She stayed where she was, not trusting her shaky knees. The image he’d just put in her head was erotic enough to make her whole body tremble. Luckily, she didn’t need to rely on her own devices. Kasim lifted her back onto the bed, gave her another panty-dropping kiss, and stalked out of the room.
Winter was still sitting there, dazed and aroused, when Jaz came back in. She laughed when she saw Winter’s face. “I know that look. Sexed you up, did he?”
Screwing up her nose, Winter cracked a smile. “Seems to be a permanent state these days.”
“Yep. It’s the mated rhe’hashan effect. Don’t expect it to go away anytime soon.”
And thank both human and Jendari gods for that.
****
An hour later, Melody arrived with Winter’s wedding dress. After the debacle with the beautiful red fairy dress that had been left in tatters in the ballroom, Winter had been too embarrassed to ask her friend for another favor. Kasim, apparently, had no such scruples. Not only had he paid for the ruined ball gown, he’d commissioned Mel to create Winter’s wedding dress. But of course, being Kasim, he’d added a codicil—Winter wasn’t allowed to see the dress until today.
Cursing him for his stupid cat-games, Winter had nonetheless played along. Her blindfolded fittings had turned out to be heaps of fun, with Mel and Jaz indulging in some merciless teasing and offering terrible red herrings.
Winter had no doubt the dress would be beautiful. Melody was a creative genius and she knew Winter better than anyone except Jaz. And now Kasim.
According to Mel, Winter’s mate had final approval on the design, including fabrics and trim. Winter tried to imagine her cool, taciturn male sifting through samples like a fashionista, but the image wouldn’t come.
“All done?” Mel poked her head around the bathroom door.
“Just about.” Jaz motioned her to come in, then gestured to the lipsticks that were strewn on the counter with the rest of her makeup. “What color do I need for the dress?”
Mel fished around, opening and closing tubes until she found a soft peach color. “This one.”
Winter slicked it on and took a final look in the mirror. Her thick, dark hair was pulled back from her face and secured in a heavy crown of curls at the back of her head. An architectural feat that had required the assistance of her two best friends. Her makeup was pure glamor, right down to the expertly applied eye-liner and false lashes.
“Right.” She turned on her bare feet and headed for the bedroom. “Let’s get this show on the road.”
Jaz was waiting for them, standing in front of the closed closet door. Guarding Winter’s dress.
“Seriously? Even now you’re keeping it under wraps?”
“Yep. Kasim’s orders.”
Winter crossed her arms and arched her brow. “Since when does Kasim give all the orders?”
Mel slapped her on the ass as she walked by. “Since Jaz and I decided it’s fun to torture you.”
“Bitches.”
Mel just laughed. “Your man insisted on the blindfold, but I don’t want to risk ruining your hair.”
Neither did Winter. It had taken them over an hour to get it right.
Jaz walked over and raised her hand, making a loose fist except for her smallest finger. “Pinky swear. No peaking.”
“Christ on a crutch.” She was going to kill Kasim. Closely followed by her soon-to-be-ex friends. At the patient looks they were giving her, she gave in with bad grace. “Fine. I’ll pinky swear, even though I’m not
five years old.”
So, locked in a darkness of her own making, Winter allowed herself to be pushed and pulled like a real-life doll. Guided by her friends, she stepped into her dress, felt it slither up her body and slid her arms into what felt like cap sleeves. The side zip was closed and the gown wrapped her torso like a second skin. Perfect fit and no surprise.
“Keep your eyes closed,” Mel warned. “We’re going to help you into your shoes.”
The shoes in question had the feel of high-heeled evening wear, more straps than substance. There was a bit of skirt fluffing, a tug of fabric here and there, and then a moment of quiet peace.
When Winter heard the door click she almost broke her pinky promise and opened her eyes. Then Kasim’s voice stroked over her like a caress. “By the Goddess, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life.”
She shivered and her whole body went on alert. She opened her eyes and when she got a look at him, she nearly swallowed her tongue. Kasim wore black leather. Boots, pants, and long-sleeved tunic. His blond hair fell in shinning waves to his shoulders, except for four thin braids, two on either side of his face. His beard was neatly trimmed and his whole body exuded strength and vitality.
And, he was as hot as hell.
“You look amazing.” For someone who made her living using words, she seemed to be all out of the good ones.
He smiled. “These are my regimentals. The rhe’hashan only wear them for the most important ceremonial occasions.” Walking forward, he reached out with one hand, keeping the other behind his back. Without even thinking, she linked hands with him.
“You are exquisite, as always.” He squeezed her fingers. “Have you peeked at your dress?”
“No.” She was about tell him what she thought of his high-handedness, and how that shit wasn’t going to fly in any future they might have together. Then she made the mistake of looking into his eyes. The emotion there, the unfettered love that shone from the icy blue stopped the words before she could give them voice.
If he looked at her like that very often, she was going to be in big, big trouble.
“I have something for you.”
“Oh?” Yeah, she was rocking the vocab.
He turned her hand over and placed a large, black velvet jeweler’s case on her palm. “Open it.”
With shaking fingers, she eased the lid open, then almost dropped the damn box in shock. Residing on a bed of dark-blue satin was a gold and diamond necklace that probably cost more than the penthouse they were standing in.
Not quite a choker, it was designed to sit at the base of her neck, the design fanning out over her collarbones, shoulders and nape.
Kasim lifted it out of its case and moved to stand behind her. “If we were on Jendar, my family would have commissioned this necklace. It’s a gift to welcome you to our clan, and to acknowledge you as part of our family.” He secured the clasp and kissed the silvery scar of her mating mark. “My cousin is here, and he was more than willing provide the necklace for you, but my brothers wouldn’t hear of it.” Closing his hands over her waist, he pulled her tight against his body, back to chest. “When Tallis and Jaz became am’chai, Deasun, Hadar, Lioth, and I commissioned her necklace. My brothers wanted nothing less for you.”
Again he kissed her, this time on the side of her neck. “They are your brothers now, as well.”
Winter felt a little lightheaded. She’d expected her connection to the rhe’hashan would be through Kasim. It hadn’t occurred to her that she would have a legitimate and independent relationship with Kasim’s friends. Four new brothers. She didn’t know whether to be excited or appalled.
Then another black velvet box appeared in front of her. “And this is from me.” Kasim held the box while she lifted the lid, revealing two thin, gold cuffs.
He took them out one at a time, securing them to her wrists with a quiet click. When she held them up to the light, she could see the flat piece across the top was engraved with the image of Kasim in his lepardine form.
“They’re beautiful.” Perfect, in fact.
Kasim rubbed his thumb over the engraving. “This represents me, both as rhe’hashan and your mate.” He lifted his hand to stroke her necklace. “And the diamonds pay homage to my birth clan. The clan that you are about to be adopted into.”
She turned in his arms. “I can’t wait.”
“Me either.” He trailed his fingertips over her cheek and down her jaw. “Melody and Jasmine have forbidden me to kiss you, on pain of death.” His eyes dropped to her lips. “But I’m considering risking it.”
“I want to kiss you too, but if you mess up my lipstick, I’ll kill you myself.”
“All right.” Eyes sparkling with laughter, he stepped back. “Do you want to see how beautiful you are?”
“What?”
“Are you ready to see yourself, now all your gifts are in place?”
“Yes.” And that was when she understood what all the secrecy had been about. He hadn’t wanted her to see her wedding attire until it was complete—dress, necklace, and bracelets.
Leading her to the floor-length mirror, Kasim stepped behind her and let her look her fill.
The image in the mirror was so beautiful, Winter felt as though she’d been doused in magic. Melody had created the most beautiful dress Winter had ever seen. The silk chiffon was a pink so pale it was almost nude. The bodice had capped sleeves, and a round neck that was low enough to show a hint of cleavage, but high enough to preserve her modesty. The entire section was oversewn with embroidery and tiny beads in the same soft color, clinging to her body from shoulder to waist. Then it fell in a romantic cascade of sheer ruffles which swept down the skirt in diagonal lines.
It was soft and feminine without being fussy or overdone. It was flawless.
Winter couldn’t look away from her reflection. “I never thought I’d get married. I never dreamed I have a dress like this.” Then she lifted her gaze to meet Kasim’s in the mirror. “I never dreamed I’d have anyone like you.”
“I thought I’d spend my life alone, too.” He curled over her, resting his cheek on her shoulder. “I’m so glad we were wrong.”
They stayed like that, leaning against one another, sharing their strength, until Jaz tapped lightly on the closed bedroom door. “Your guest has arrived, Kasim.”
With a deep breath and a slight tightening of his arms, Kasim straightened up and stepped away. Turning her so they faced each other, he clasped her hand and placed a hot kiss her palm. “See you soon.”
She smiled at him. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
As soon as he disappeared out the door, Winter took another look at herself in the long mirror. She gazed at the necklace gifted by her new brothers, the dress created by her sister-of-the-heart, and the cuffs that represented the commitment of her mate. She wondered if all brides felt so saturated with love on their wedding day.
Holding onto her deep sense of gratitude, she made her way out of the bedroom and headed to the living area. The penthouse Jaz shared with Tallis was vast, elegant, and packed with every type of greenery one could imagine. Plants sat in pots large, small, and everything in between on whatever flat surface was available.
And standing in the middle of that verdant landscape were her two best friends. Jaz looked beautiful in the silver gown she’d worn at her own wedding, her ruby necklace and platinum cuffs on display. Melody had also steered away from her usual bold tones, and wore a pale-green satin that would have been the envy of any 1950s movie star.
Winter gestured to her gown. “This is a dream dress. I can’t even tell you the ways in which I love it.”
“You look amazing.” Mel walked over and took her by the hand. “Are you nervous?”
“Yes. And excited.” And quietly pissing her pants. It seemed when Kasim departed, he’d left space for all her insecurities to come rushing back.
Jaz came up on her other side joined hands with Mel and Winter, closing them in a three-person loop. “I’m so g
lad we could be together for your big day.”
Winter frowned. “That’s right. You didn’t have anyone to stand with you at your ceremony.” She looked between her friends. “How come I get so lucky?”
“Well, I’m in because I’m mated to Tallis,” Jaz said. “And Melody is here because Kasim worked some kind of miracle behind the scenes.”
Mel snorted. “And I had to sign so many non-disclosure agreements they were coming out of my ass.”
Unable to stop the laughter that bubbled up inside her, Winter nodded to her friend. “You’re sacrifice is appreciated.”
“You’re welcome.” Mel turned away and walked over to a side table. “Now, let’s bubble up while we still have time.”
Three flutes of champagne were produced and they clinked glasses. The first toast was to friendship, then they toasted family. By the second glass they’d moved on to the happy couple, then love in general.
Winter was so full of joy she felt as light and fizzy as the champagne that kept disappearing from her glass.
When she saw Shallamar pad into the room, she squealed in delight.
“Shallamar!” Hurrying over on her high heels she leaned down to pet the me’hendra. “Are you coming to the ceremony?”
Shallamar’s eyes were almost colorless, but the baleful look she gave Winter didn’t need color for clarity.
Jaz hooked her arm around Mel’s waist as they watched on. “The me’hendras are going to be acting as our escorts. As soon as the others—” Before she finished speaking, Itohan and Piala prowled into the room. “And here they are. Looks like it’s time.”
Winter straightened up, her brain finally floating above the alcohol. “Wait a minute. How come Mel’s not freaking out?” Because God only knew how out of her head Winter had been the first time she met Shallamar.
“I’ve already met Piala.” Mel held up her hand to cut Winter off. “Don’t ask. It’s the kind of story that needs to be told over a gallon of ice cream while wearing our pj’s. I’ll fill you in later, I promise.”
Breaking Ice (The Jendari Book 2) Page 23