Cuddling

by Allan, S. H.

  Jeff hoped someone would come up and distract him from the spiky-haired grinning guy, but the flow of patrons seemed to be slow for a change. The vampire/werewolf man was still perusing the movies, and there was a small group of kids singing a song with the children’s librarian in the back of the library. But otherwise things were quiet. Too quiet.

  “Okay, your fine is all taken care of,” he said, putting the change in the cash drawer. “Your record’s clear. Would you like a receipt?”

  “No, that’s okay. I trust you. I just hope you can trust me not to be late with your library books again.” Tim’s smile deepened. “So hey, I’m Tim. Well, you probably already figured that out when you scanned my card.”

  “Ha-ha, yeah.” Jeff felt his ears turning red. Get a grip! Even if there were no other impediments, he’s probably too young for you. I bet he’s still in college.

  He tried to discreetly look at the computer screen and saw the guy’s age: twenty-four. Right. Only five years younger than him. Not that it mattered, of course.

  “Um, what’s your name?” Tim had lost the grin and was rubbing the back of his neck and biting his lip.

  Oh! He was supposed to answer him. Right. Of course. Duh. “Heh. Sorry. I spaced out for a second. Not a good thing to do at work,” Jeff joked lamely. “My name is Jeff.” Please don’t ask for a last name. Not yet, anyway.

  “Jeff. I like that name. Do you go to college?” Tim leaned against the counter again, closer this time. There were only a few inches between them now.

  “I, uh, no. I graduated”—Jeff winced—“some time ago. I just work here now.”

  “Oh wow.” Tim’s eyebrows raised. “I thought you were my age. You look really young.” He laughed. “I mean that as a compliment. How old are you?”

  “Twenty-nine.” And turning thirty in less than a week. Barf.

  “I bet you still get carded all the time. You look great for your age.”

  “Thank you.” Jeff could feel his insides melting. He had to stop this fast. “My boyfriend says I look great too.” There, that wasn’t totally and completely obvious or anything. And actually Ethan had never commented on it one way or another. But this guy didn’t need to know that.

  “Ah.” Tim leaned back a little and moved his elbow off the counter. “Well, he’s right.”

  Silence abounded, and Jeff was almost happy to have vampire/werewolf man come up to the counter and set down some DVDs. Tim hesitated for a moment, then gave him a quick waggle of fingers and headed off toward the row of study rooms.

  Jeff felt a wave of disappointment wash over him. But what right did he have to be upset that a guy had quit flirting with him as soon as he’d shot him down, especially considering he had a boyfriend?

  “I found my movie, no thanks to you,” the vampire/werewolf man informed Jeff.

  “Oh, that’s good,” Jeff said, biting his tongue as he scanned the DVDs. “What movie was it?”

  “Swamp Thing.”

  Jeff desperately wished he could headdesk himself.

  “YOU look frazzled, Jeff,” Kristy said, clamping her hand on his shoulder and giving him a firm squeeze. “You’re never going to make it to being library director like me if you’re ready to collapse when it’s only just going on five o’clock.”

  “Well, I’d hate to take your job away from you, Kristy,” Jeff said, straightening his posture and giving her a wide grin. “I’m just a simple day worker. Didn’t even go to liberry school like you.”

  “There’s still time for you to get your master’s degree, bud.” Kristy nodded, sage-like. “You’re still young enough to get the attention of all those cute college boys who come in here. Like that spiky-haired one.”

  Jeff flushed a little. So she’d seen that. “Oh, I think he was just hoping I’d take his library fines off for him.”

  “Or his pants,” Kristy deadpanned.

  Jeff blushed harder and shook his head. “Are you sure you wouldn’t have been better off as a sailor with that mouth, Kris?”

  “Nah. Somehow I think most of those men wouldn’t have been interested in my mouth. Or any other part of my body.”

  “Oh! Come on now. Don’t stereotype.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.” Kristy slapped herself lightly on the cheek. “That was lame and no doubt inaccurate. So, off home to your star writer husband, then?”

  Jeff winced. “Not right away,” he said. Psht. As if he needed to prove himself to his boss in some way. “Might pick up a sandwich or something on my way home.”

  “That’s good, that’s good. Don’t let that man tell you what to do just because he’s a big shot and you’re stuck working for me. You get that sandwich. Get five of ’em!”

  Jeff swatted at her hair. “You’re really obnoxious sometimes, you know that?”

  She chuckled. “You come for the money, but you stay for my awful jokes.”

  “Well, not today I don’t. My time here is up. See ya tomorrow.” Jeff waved and headed toward the employees’ coatroom.

  When he got to the parking lot, he saw Tim sauntering toward a beat-up gray junk bucket.

  “So his car isn’t as hot as he is,” Jeff murmured.

  As if he’d heard him, Tim turned around. He spotted Jeff and smiled and waved.

  Eep. Jeff gave a quick wave and darted toward his car.

  “Great, now he knows which one is mine,” he muttered as he started the engine.

  But he wasn’t really worried about Tim stalking him. Really, he kind of hoped he’d show up at the library again. Just because it was so boring there, of course. Yup.

  JEFF sighed as he pulled into the driveway. Ethan’s car wasn’t there. But he hadn’t really expected it to be.

  “He won’t be able to snag any of my roast beef sub, then,” he said aloud and turned off the engine. After he’d gone inside, gone to the bathroom, and changed into more comfortable clothes—he always thought of Mister Rogers when he put on a cardigan and took off his shoes—he settled down with his e-reader and his roast beef sub.

  But he couldn’t concentrate on the book, and he’d only eaten about half of his sandwich in the past few minutes. Ethan liked to tease him that he could eat ten footlongs in as many minutes, and Jeff couldn’t disagree with him. Jeff found himself wondering if Tim liked to eat a lot. He was pretty thin. Didn’t look like he was a gym buff. But maybe he had great metabolism.

  Jeff’s phone buzzed, and he picked it up.

  Sorry babe, but the line here is really long, and the bookstore owner said I could stay an extra hour to make sure everyone gets an autograph. Will call you when I’m done. Love you!

  “Fine,” Jeff said aloud. “That just means I can watch my zombies in peace. No screeching housewives tonight. Your loss, buddy.”

  But as the hours scraped by and Jeff busied himself with television, reading, and even—shudder—doing the dishes, he kept glancing at the clock more and more. He texted Ethan: You’re going to have to bring a pair of pajamas with you next time you go to one of these things, so you’re ready for bed when you finally get home.

  An hour later he got a reply: Haha. You know I sleep nude. A few people here have actually asked me what I wear to bed. Anyway I’ll be home soon, J-J. Hold your horses.

  So Ethan knew he was impatient. Well, he hadn’t exactly tried to hide it, had he? He should probably cool it. He wouldn’t want Ethan sending him angry texts while he was working at the library.

  No problem, babe. See you soon xxx.

  Jeff lay back on the couch and thought of some of the fun times he’d had with Ethan. He could remember very clearly, though it’d been seven years earlier, when he’d spotted Ethan at the university café, looking absurdly good with that luscious chocolate-brown hair, and later, when he’d gotten closer, those beautiful honey-brown eyes. His stomach rumbled as he thought of the many, many jaunts they’d made to Spoony’s ice-cream place, often followed by some glow bowling, then a few slices from Mick’s Pizza since they’d had such a workout. And h
e remembered the time they’d first had sex—made love, really. How long they’d waited before finally giving it a go.

  He thought of how Ethan had kissed him for the first time, had cupped his face so gently, like he couldn’t believe he’d been gifted with such a man as Jeff. And Jeff had trembled, feeling as if he’d never loved anyone the way he loved Ethan. Anything before had been puppy love. He’d been out since he was sixteen and had had a few boyfriends, but how they had flown from his mind when he first laid eyes on Ethan. All he could think was Why didn’t we meet sooner? And he was thankful he hadn’t graduated yet.

  He heard a car pull in the driveway and nearly jumped in excitement. He went to the window in the front hall and almost cheered. His boyfriend was home. Yes! Suddenly he wished he had prepared an awesome three-course meal, because for sure Ethan would be starving after all that signing and smiling.

  When Ethan entered the front hall, Jeff flung his arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

  “Well! Someone sure missed his baby while he was away,” Ethan said, giving Jeff a firm but brief squeeze in return. “Good to see you too. Hey, listen, I’ve got to take a shower. I wouldn’t have thought sitting and smiling with gritted teeth for five hours would make me so smelly, and yet it has. I guess I was nervous.”

  “You don’t smell so bad,” Jeff said, but he stepped a bit farther away from him.

  “Mm-hmm. Your actions speak louder than your words,” Ethan teased.

  “Hey, I could join you in the shower,” Jeff said. “I could use one myself.”

  “Hmm. That sounds nice, but I am seriously stank. I don’t know how long I’m going to be in there.”

  Jeff stared at Ethan in surprise. “You’re refusing a shower with me?”

  Ethan stared back. “What? No, I’m not refusing. You can join me if you want. I just thought you might appreciate me at my best, rather than my stinkiest.”

  “We’ve been together for seven years, Eth. I accepted you at your best and your worst a long time ago.” Jeff shook his head.

  “Well, I feel the same about you, babe,” Ethan said, his voice low and smooth. “I mean, hey, try not to take what I said the wrong way. I’ve just had a really long, tiring day and wanted some time to myself. You know. Just to unwind in my little ‘man cave’. You like that too, don’t you?”

  “I guess so,” Jeff muttered.

  “Hey, look.” Ethan put his hands on his hips. “I had people telling me they wanted to marry me. People begging me to have kids with them. Even a few straight women thinking they were hot enough to ‘change me’. It’s been annoying, okay, and I don’t need any grief from my boyfriend as well.”

  “Did you accept any of their propositions?”

  Ethan closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “I’m going to take a shower. Hopefully you’ll be in a better mood before we go to bed. See you later.” He turned around and headed toward the bathroom. He shut the door with a firm click.

  Jeff sighed and went back to the couch. He flipped through the TV channels and even tried to watch a few videos on his phone, but nothing appealed to him. He looked at the bathroom door. It was still closed.

  He trudged up to bed. If Ethan didn’t want to sleep next to him, he’d just have to go onto the couch himself.

  II.

  ETHAN yawned and rolled over onto his right side. He smiled as he saw Jeff asleep on his back, whistling softly through his nose. He reached out and brushed Jeff’s sparse copper chest hair with his fingertips.

  Jeff stirred in his sleep; then his fingers closed over Ethan’s. Ethan smiled, and with his other hand he brushed a strand of that sweet curly red hair away from Jeff’s face.

  “Mmm. Morning,” Jeff mumbled.

  “Good morning, my love,” Ethan cooed, continuing to stroke Jeff’s chest and stomach.

  “What time is it?” Jeff moved onto his side and smiled sleepily at Ethan. “I’m glad you’re not mad at me anymore.”

  A lump formed in Ethan’s stomach. He had to bring that up? But he smiled. “Oh, how could I possibly stay mad at you? You’re too freaking adorable.” He pinched Jeff’s cheek, which caused Jeff to swat at him, and they rolled around on the bed, occasionally hitting each other with pillows.

  Ethan’s alarm sounded, and he groaned. Just five more minutes, please.

  “Time to get up already, Superstar?” Jeff said.

  “It is for you too, Jeff,” Ethan pointed out. And don’t call me Superstar.

  He sighed. “I know. It’s just I was enjoying myself.” He snuggled close to Ethan. “Let’s call in sick today.”

  “Aw. I wish I could, babe.” Ethan ruffled his hair. “But duty calls. I’ve got a live chat on my publisher’s site in an hour, I’ve got to update my blog, I have to talk to some bookstores about stocking my books….”

  “Point taken. Maybe I’ll see you at dinner. Or breakfast. Tomorrow.” Jeff got up from the bed, stretched, and rubbed his eyes. “I’ve got to check the adult fiction stock today anyway.”

  “Too bad my stuff is too adult for you guys.” Ethan grinned and winked.

  Jeff rolled his eyes. “Yeah, they just can’t handle your brand of truth.”

  Ethan blanked on a comeback. But then he lit up. “Hey, why don’t we take a shower together now. I’m game if you are.”

  Jeff smiled but then said, “Actually, I’d better make it a quick one. I just remembered I told Kristy I’d try to be in a little early today to help her with the interloan book delivery. I don’t really have to, but we’ve been short of workers lately.” He shook his head. “We can’t let people work as much as they want to because of budget cuts. I’m one of the lucky ones.” He paused. “I guess.”

  Ethan felt a thud of disappointment hit his stomach. Wish I’d let him get in with me last night. “Oh well. We’ll do it later. I mean hey, it’s the weekend tomorrow. We have two and a half days of fun.”

  “Until you get called away by the computer.”

  Ethan felt annoyance prick his insides. “I’m going to make some coffee,” he muttered and headed to the kitchen.

  Half an hour later, they’d barely said more than a few words to each other as they got ready for their respective days. Before Jeff headed off to the library, he graced Ethan with a grazing kiss to the cheek. “See you later.”

  “Bye. Hey, I love you.” Ethan gently slapped him on the bottom as Jeff headed past him.

  Jeff turned to him and smiled. “Love you too.” Then he was out the door.

  Warmth kindled in Ethan’s stomach as he headed toward the living room, where he’d left his laptop. He put on his favorite music—eighties pop—and tried, as he did every day, to get into the mindset of an enthusiastic, no worries, saucy and sassy blogger and author extraordinaire. Even when he just wanted to say Screw it, I’m going back to bed, hiding meant fewer sales. One needed to establish a rapport with one’s readers. One couldn’t hide out for weeks at a time and expect them to stick around.

  The chat with fans and fellow authors breezed by, and Ethan had several people begging him to publish again soon, which warmed his heart more than chicken soup or his favorite beer.

  He updated his blog, promising his next entry would be hilarious and amazing. Then he remembered he hadn’t had much of a breakfast, just half a protein bar and a gulped-down cup of black coffee. And he’d done pretty well so far for the morning. He deserved a break, for sure.

  Ethan headed to the kitchen, and it occurred to him it was almost lunchtime. Jeff would be on a more fixed schedule than him. He hadn’t noticed whether Jeff had packed a lunch for himself or not; maybe he’d go out for his break instead. But he could surprise Jeff with a nice homemade lunch. Good, tasty stuff he hadn’t had in a while.

  Ethan tapped his chin. “Let’s see, when did he last have a quinoa and asparagus salad? With some olives thrown in there…. Yeah, that sounds good. I should make one for myself too. And a toasted baguette with garlic butter…. Oh man, I’m drooling now.
And a caramel latte to drink. Damn! I need to treat myself like this sometime.”

  Humming to himself, Ethan set to work making his boyfriend’s fabulous lunch. When he’d finished, he looked at the clock.

  “Almost noon. Perfect. Too bad Jeff only gets half an hour for a break. I wonder if he’d be receptive to doing it in my car? Nah, probably not. Wouldn’t want to get his clothes wrinkled. Or his birthday suit. Ha! Burn! Oh, he’d hate me if he heard that one.”

  As bad as he knew the time and place was for such things, Ethan couldn’t help but feel a little amorous as he drove to the library. He’d just have to make sure to get all his work done by the time Jeff got home, and then he’d lead him to the bedroom with candles and smooth jazz playing softly. He’d forgo the Adam Ant and Culture Club, just for Jeff.

  Ethan whistled as he jogged up the stairs to the library entrance, though he knew he’d have to cut it out in a few seconds. Kristy looked built for noise, but she wouldn’t tolerate it in her library home.

  Ethan pushed open the front door and smiled when he saw Jeff at the circulation desk. His smile faded when he saw the spiky-haired blond man leaning against the counter, practically oozing all over his—damn it, his—boyfriend. Smiling and laughing like a buffoon. Where was Kristy to stop this disgusting nonsense? And how long had this guy spent in the tanning booth?

  When the orange jerk caressed Jeff’s arm, Ethan sucked in his breath with a fury. “Hi, Jeff,” he boomed as he walked up to the two.

  To his simultaneous satisfaction and dismay, Jeff jumped away from Orange Jerk and gawped at Ethan. Orange Jerk smirked and stared at him. “H-hi,” Jeff stuttered. “It’s—it’s good to see you.”

  Ethan nodded slowly. “Thought I’d bring you lunch. I made it for you.” He held up the tote bag, into which he’d carefully packed those lovingly made items in plastic boxes decorated with Jeff’s favorite superheroes, and the thermos. He wanted to pour the coffee—which couldn’t be too hot anymore, anyway—onto Orange Jerk’s head. “Seeing as I’m your boyfriend and all,” he added.