Un.Wavering (Claimed Series Book 3)

by Reese Morgan

  A humorless chuckle escaped Nicolas’ mouth. Dark lines formed around his mouth and eyes. “You know I had my suspicions about everything, but I was never certain of anything. I did not have the evidence.”

  She turned and studied his profile. He was an extremely vague individual. Even when he answered her questions, he had a way of provoking a deeper response that only left Hayden with more questions.

  She sighed. “Can you at least tell me what happened after Celeste took me? Did you manage to kill anyone? Celeste’s Carriers? Nolan? What about the rogues?”

  For the first time since entering the truck, Nicolas turned his full attention on to her. His pale eyes flashed with something akin to dark humor. “Have I ever given you any reason to think I wouldn’t answer your questions, Hayden?”

  The hairs on her arms stood at the seductive quality in his tone. Her spine stiffened when she realized how easy it was for her body to respond to him. It made her uneasy. She felt guilty she was betraying Cole. If just his voice alone could cause her skin to tingle…

  Heat stained her cheeks and she turned away, hating herself.

  So very much.

  “Once I knew they wanted to take you alive, I did not stay and fight. I chose to follow you from a distance and assemble reinforcements,” Nicolas carried on easily, as if he were blissfully ignorant to Hayden’s plight. However, he was most likely very aware of it. “Celeste managed to get away before we even entered the lair. There were no Carriers there, only lesser followers and puppets.”

  “Troy Arnold?”

  “I couldn’t pick up his trail. I don’t believe Celeste has him.”

  She pursed her lips at the bit of information. Troy was an important asset. He could have been killed in his basement when the puppets followed them downstairs, but she doubted it. He’d reassured her that he knew how to run.

  “When you threatened Celeste in the woods, you told her you had power she wasn’t even aware of. I’m guessing you meant your secret band of followers. I wasn’t aware you were actually the rogue Alpha.”

  Speaking about strategy and intricate details helped Hayden take her mind of things. For just a fleeting moment, she felt as if everything was right in the world.

  His lip quirked in amusement. “My secret band of followers,” he repeated lowly, more to himself than to Hayden. “You are right. When I agreed to become Celeste’s scapegoat, I knew I had to create a safeguard for myself. There were many rogues in need of a commanding lead. I chose to keep their existence to myself.”

  Nicolas had no shortage of self-preservation. He was smart to protect himself against Celeste, having the forethought he’d betray her someday for his brother.

  “Did your rogues have enough control to at least rescue the other prisoners there?” It was hard to forget the suffering she’d witnessed at Celeste’s hideout. So many had suffered at her hands.

  “Of course they did,” he replied, “though it’s hard to determine how long they’ll live.”

  Hayden closed off after his statement, drawing in on herself both mentally as well as emotionally. The pain and devastation Celeste inflicted on innocents was astronomical. It became apparent how many challenges they would face on their road to destroying the woman and her brilliance.

  It would hardly reverse the damage, but Hayden acknowledged the wild urge to find every last one of Celeste’s underground lairs. She would liberate the prisoners and destroy all the equipment, all the medical jargon.

  She stared intently out the window, wanting nothing more than to be back out in the wild. As Nicolas turned off to a side street, the trees grew thicker and the road narrowed. They were getting closer to the others and Hayden felt her limbs grow heavy with dread.

  An unexplainable restlessness settled in her legs.

  She just wanted to run.

  “They know.”

  She tore her eyes away from the window and looked at Nicolas. “They know what?”

  His jaw clenched noticeably. “Your pack knows about Cole. I spoke to his beta over the phone before we left this morning.”

  “Blake?” She sank in her seat and stared unseeingly in front of her.

  She considered asking Nicolas how Blake reacted upon hearing the news, but she already knew what the man must have felt. It surprised her that Nicolas took the initiative to contact the pack regarding Cole’s passing before her arrival.

  “Take advantage of their support,” he suggested. “This will be a good time for you to heal and rebuild your strength.”

  There was something about his words and tone that did not sit well with her. Hayden gazed unhappily out the window for a moment, trying to piece together the unspoken words he did not say.

  It dawned on her a moment later. “You’re not staying,” she observed darkly. “You’re dropping me off like I’m some sort of lost child before running off again. I thought you said I was under your protection.” A sudden spark of anger and betrayal blossomed, though she didn’t understand why.

  It wasn’t as if Nicolas’ elusive ways were new to her.

  “You are under my protection.” He seemed utterly calm, completely in control of the situation. “I am not abandoning you. I will be checking in on you frequently.”

  She smiled bitterly and shook her head. “Why even bother?”

  “You know why.”

  At his heavy insinuating, Hayden’s dark mirth faltered and turned cold. Her smirk faded and she turned away once more, no longer able to conjure up a proper response.

  “The other werewolves do not trust me. Instead of wasting my energy and patience trying to dance around their suspicions, I can use my time looking for Logan and tying up loose ends. I cannot do that freely under the restricted laws of the traditional Alphas.”

  Hayden made a noise of protest. “Then let me come with you!”

  From the corner of her eyes, she spied the blurred forms racing between the trees and following their truck from a distance. Her pulse accelerated and she stiffened, ready for a confrontation. In the back of her mind, she knew them to be friendly allies, her people, yet she couldn’t force herself to calm.

  Through the trees, she caught glimpses of several cabins and many, many more werewolves loitering about. They gathered and came together as a large group to greet Hayden. And that thought terrified her.

  Petrified her.

  “Please,” she begged, hating how weak she sounded as she pleaded with the Alpha male next to her. “I can’t imagine sitting idly, doing nothing and drowning in my grief. I need to be doing something to preoccupy myself.”

  She refused to sit still. Even if Nicolas did not agree to bring her with him, she’d find a way to go herself. She was not domesticated. She would not suffer in coddling hands.

  Not without Cole at her side.

  “You need to be with others. It is imperative, now more than ever, that you learn how to detach yourself from always being on guard, from always being in battle.”

  “What if I don’t want to detach? We are in constant battle now,” she argued fiercely. “What you’re asking me to do is to detach from reality.”

  “Females are not meant to be warriors, Hayden. You need to learn how to live again.”

  She bolted from her slouched position and grabbed a fistful of his jacket, exposing her teeth in challenge. She was suddenly furious and desperate. “Do not give me that bullshit on gender roles!” Her voice cracked and tears welled up in her eyes. “I am not a domesticated female who stays put—”

  He was a depiction of complete calm as he put the truck in park and bypassed her constricted hold on his jacket. Despite her efforts, nothing seemed to deter him as he grabbed her around the collar and pushed her up against the window.

  Her head clunked against the glass and he only applied more pressure, keeping her head inclined and her throat exposed. His cold eyes were alive with ire, possessing a fire that chilled her to the bone.

  “It is too late for me to learn how to separate myself from constant
battle. I don’t wish that on anyone. Male or female.” His knuckles curled into her neck, applying a near-choking pressure. “Is it too much for me to ask that you learn how to separate yourself for the both of us?”

  She exhaled shakily and tried to loosen her stiff limbs. It was difficult meeting his eyes, only because she’d never seen them quite so expressive.

  “I’ve already told you that I respect you and your combative abilities.” He slowly released her collar and retracted his hand. “I’m not asking you to sit out of this war. I’m asking you to properly adjust to a traumatic loss with those who can offer appropriate comforts.”

  Hayden bit her tongue when her first, initial reaction was to ask him how he would deal with Cole’s death. But she remained silent and watched as he put the truck in drive and continued deeper into the woods.

  Clearly, he was unbothered by her persistent glare to the side of his head.

  He had his own way to deal with his brother’s death. Hayden had her suspicions that he would deal with the loss the same way she usually dealt with things. Avoidance. Constant exhaustion. Guilt. Distraction. Recklessness.

  They were far more similar than she’d liked to admit. More than he knew.

  Nicolas might be right in assuming the pack would be a better choice—a healthier choice—in helping her cope with her loss. However, he didn’t know how she handled things.

  Her thoughts abruptly shattered when the truck came to a gradual stop. Up ahead, they were just shy of entering a clearing of several cabins. They were extremely small cabins and Hayden could see even more tiny structures scattered in the far distance.

  Werewolves emerged, alerted to the newcomers. Her eyes immediately fell on a familiar brunette male as he stepped out from between two cabins. Her throat tightened and a fresh wave of grief made itself an uninvited guest in her stomach.

  “Come.”

  Nicolas was out the door before Hayden could properly recover.

  She watched as he walked—glided—in front of the truck and towards her side of the cab. At Nicolas’ sudden appearance, Hayden noticed many werewolves shy away and whisper anxiously to one another. Their fear was evident.

  Her door opened and she had no choice but to step out.

  Steadying her shaking legs, Hayden planted her boots on the snow and faced the group of werewolves from a distance. Without Cole at her side, she felt like an outsider again, as if she didn’t belong. Looking at all the new and old faces struck an empty chord within her.

  She spied the Albertville Alphas, Adolf, Eric, Tobias, and new males that appeared to be just as authoritative and commanding. Their attention locked completely on Nicolas, watching his every small move with single-minded intensity.

  Hayden felt the rogue Alpha step behind her, closing in with his smothering presence. One hand wrapped around her throat, a finger just barely teasing the mating mark on her neck. She kept her eyes forward, not yet willing to step away from him to approach the others.

  There was no denying Nicolas’ intentions. His hold around her neck was a claiming and territorial gesture, a reminder to the other males that she was his.

  Any other time, any other situation, Hayden would have fought against the territorial instinct. Now was not the proper time to restate his claim on her, a claim that hadn’t been entirely meaningful in the beginning, a claim that had once belonged to Cole.

  “Don’t do anything reckless.” His breath teased Hayden’s ear in a menacing caress. His opposite hand grabbed the end of her braid and tugged at it sharply. “I will know. And I will come down on you.”

  And then suddenly, his presence was gone.

  She shivered as the cold encompassed her and her warmth vanished. Looking over her shoulder, she caught the trail end of his coat disappear into the trees. Clearly, he left behind the truck in favor of embracing his accustomed stealth.

  Frantically, she wanted to race after him. His absence was just another loss she found difficult to swallow. He said he’d be back, but he could never promise. Promises like that were empty, she realized.

  “Hayden!”

  She turned at the call, watching the tall, lanky blond race towards her. He wore a wide smile, revealing the yellow teeth she remembered so fondly. His turquoise eyes were gentle, pure. A part of her wondered when she started to feel as if she’d taint her pack members just by being near them.

  Hayden shook off the disconcerting feeling and took a shaky step forward. “Fergus,” she whispered, feeling everything crash down around her.

  He raced crazily towards her, his face contorting with relief, with grief. She closed the distance and allowed him to sweep her off her feet. His arms crushed her in a binding hold and he sobbed miserably into the crook of her neck.

  Her own resolve crumbled and she swallowed several times to prevent her own sobs. She couldn’t prevent the tears, however, and with her arms bound, she couldn’t wipe away the evidence.

  “I’m so glad you made it back.”

  But Cole didn’t.

  She closed her eyes and turned limp in his hold. He cried out of relief, but of grief as well. He was unafraid to express himself, a trait Hayden had forgotten over her brief time with Nicolas and Cole.

  “Fergus, let us see her.”

  Over her Omega’s shoulder, she saw Blake, Addie, and Nathan stand close, their expressions varying degrees of sadness. It was hard to look at them. Extremely hard. Hayden felt something within her shatter as the guilt consumed her fully.

  Reluctantly, Fergus lowered her back to the ground and released her.

  Blake was the first one there.

  He embraced her firmly, his expression fixed, yet his eyes bright with emotion. His hands tightened around her, as if reassuring himself she was truly there. He reminded her of the wholesome bond they shared.

  He was her brother, a protective and faithful supporter.

  “You were missed, Hayden.”

  She’d missed him. She’d missed them all, and yet, she still felt out of place.

  Nathan and Addie hugged her next, though she could feel strain in both of them. A part of Hayden wondered why she felt like she was supposed to come as a packaged deal. Without Cole, there should be no Hayden. She’d been introduced to the pack with Cole’s smothering presence at her shoulder. It was alien to interact with them without the pillar, without the backbone.

  But maybe that’s how they all felt without their Alpha.

  They were part wolf after all.

  “I’d like to have a word with Hayden alone,” Blake addressed the pack, though his voice reached the observers. “Give us some time.”

  He wrapped a secure arm around Hayden’s shoulders and she desperately wiped her tears away. As her beta led her away from the others, away from the strangers, she caught a glimpse of a familiar face in the crowd.

  Asher.

  Hayden hadn’t expected to see him back after he left his father’s side. But he stood at Eric’s shoulder now, watching her with concern, with pity.

  She turned away and tucked herself underneath Blake’s shielding arm. There was nothing worse than feeling dozens upon dozens of pitying stares upon her. It made the grief personify into something solid and tangible.

  “Thank you.” She looked up at Blake. “For taking me away.”

  He nodded, his expression drawn into something severe and unwelcoming. “There are a few things I need to discuss with you. Alone.”

  Her heart plummeted. Whatever he wanted to talk about, it was clearly dire.

  They moved further into the woods and passed a great deal of cabins and lingering werewolves. She avoided eye contact and kept her attention in front of her. After constantly fighting enemies on the run, it was strange coming back to a place of refuge, surrounded by numerous allies.

  “You need to be careful with Nicolas,” Blake said, wasting no time as he led her inside one of the cabins. “Even from a distance, he will be territorial. I don’t exactly trust his intentions when it comes to you.”


  “Blake, please, I don’t want to talk about Nicolas.” She ducked out from underneath his arm and ventured further into the single-room cabin. “I don’t even want to think about what you’re insinuating. Cole and I—”

  “Hayden,” Blake interrupted, “I’m just concerned.”

  The cabin smelt of the pack, predominantly Blake. The structure was so small, it could only fit a small kitchenette, a tiny bathroom, and a main living area where the pack clearly slept together in a heap.

  Hayden restlessly stalked the perimeter of the cabin, feeling like a caged animal. Her eyes traced over the walls and the ceiling, measuring her new surroundings. Blake’s scent overpowered the others here and it suddenly dawned on her that he was the dominant male in the pack. He’d be their next Alpha.

  Or would he?

  “I know you and Cole…” Blake started, but tapered off and began a new line of conversation. “Cole called me a few days earlier and told me there was a possibility he wouldn’t return. He wasn’t feeling well, he said.”

  She stopped pacing and faced the wall, her back turned to Blake. “He did?”

  He sighed, clearly troubled at her detachment. “I didn’t want to believe it. He told me what he went through with Celeste and how it was affecting his body. From our conversation, I gathered he decided to trust Nicolas, and agree to uncover Xavier’s secrets.

  “Yesterday, Nicolas filled me in on the rest. He told me everything, Hayden. You and Cole went through a lot. And I was obligated to share it with the other Alphas here.”

  “Everything,” she repeated numbly. “About Logan…”

  “Yes. And your connection to Logan.”

  Hayden frowned at the wall, remembering Nicolas’ promise in the truck. He told her he would not divulge the fact that Logan and Celeste were life mates. She only hoped he hadn’t lied to her. As of now, she couldn’t come to terms with any of it herself, let alone what she expected the others to believe.

  “There is something else,” Blake ventured, his tone hesitant. “Nicolas didn’t tell you everything. He thought it would be better if you didn’t know yet, but I think… that it’s unfair to keep it from you.”