One of the Guys

by Dawn Doyle

  Mr. Garrett. The advanced math teacher for seniors. I’d heard he liked to make a point of embarrassing kids if he knew they weren’t paying attention in his class. I didn’t know the details, but I had a feeling I would be on the receiving end of whatever he dished out because I would be paying more attention to Chase than his class.

  Mr. Garrett placed his things on the table, and Chase removed her earbuds. Not once did she look at me, and the tears in my heart were ripping open even further.

  As the lesson went on, and Mr. Garrett explained more about the structure of our math topics during senior year than actually teaching us, I tried to get Chase’s attention by looking to her. I didn’t want to attract attention to us because Mr.Garrett would’ve freaked out. She didn’t look at me. Instead, she looked bored with everything going on, and just yawned.

  At the end of class, I grabbed my bag ready to talk to her, but she was too quick. Chase had managed to weave through the bodies and out the door.

  Hurrying to catch up, I saw Poppy approaching her with a huge smile. She saw me watching them and gave me a dirty look, before walking off with Chase.

  What the hell? I thought.

  I knew Chase and Poppy got on well in the class they had, but hanging out? That was new, and I knew it would’ve happened during the summer vacation.

  Maybe that’s why I hadn’t seen her around.

  Bren had been visiting the day center, as Jo had told me when I called round, so I assumed Chase had been meeting up with Poppy instead.

  Even though it hurt that she wasn’t talking to me, I liked that she had another friend to talk to.

  *****

  I had no more classes with Chase, and I hadn’t seen her in passing either.

  There was no other reason… She was avoiding me.

  It couldn’t go on. I was falling apart not being able to talk to her, not to touch her, not to see her smiling at me…

  “Logan, we need to practice on the field after lunch.” Lex said, bringing me out of my thoughts.

  “Oh, yeah.” I nodded. “Sure thing.”

  Without Chase there, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate. I loved having her there when we played. It made me happy knowing she was right there with me. Ok, on the bleachers whilst I was in the field, but she was there.

  I played better because her presence made me happy. Happy that my girl was sitting there, supporting me.

  “God, Logan.” Carl whined. “Snap out of it. She’s not hanging with us anymore. The timing was spot on, you aced your finals, and there’s no more use for her to hang out.”

  I was about to throttle Carl when I heard a shout coming from across the yard.

  “Chase! Oh my God!” Poppy yelled as Chase thundered towards us.

  She was looking directly at Carl; her face menacing and her hands balled into fists.

  Even angry, she looked like a sexy goddess, with her hair flying behind her, and her clothes clinging to her perfect body.

  All I could do was watch in awe as she stormed towards us, pulling her hand back, she punched Carl in the face, knocking him on his ass.

  “Get over your fucking self!” She shouted. “You think I was the tagalong? Look around, Carl. You’re only here because of Stu. If anybody’s a tagalong, it’s you!”

  The guys, myself included, stared at Chase in shock. She’d fought back with a few comments in the past, but now… Wow.

  “Have a super day.” Chase added, snarling at Carl before smiling sarcastically, and walking away back to the table she shared with Poppy.

  The entire area was silent, watching what was happening, and I couldn’t blame them. I wanted to watch Chase for as long as I could.

  I couldn’t keep my eyes off her back, then her perfectly toned ass, as she walked away. As she got to their table, I noticed that Sian, Gretchen and Charlotte were joining them also.

  This is weird.

  Chase didn’t like those girls and, the way she’d explained it, they didn’t like her either. To see her sitting her with them, was a mystery. Chase still looked different. She had on darker clothing, but even so, she was still the sexiest one there -even before-, and even if the rest did wear tight, brightly colored clothes she was still the most beautiful.

  Chase looked like a hot biker chick, and the throbbing in my pants increased the longer I stared.

  Chase sat down, and I saw her look at me. Correction, she glared at me, as if I’d done something wrong. Ok, I had but this was something else. This was as if what I’d done was new.

  I had to find out what the hell was going on.

  I was hitting like garbage, and the guys knew why. Chase wasn’t here. Not that I sucked any other time, but now I did. Seeing that she could go on perfectly well without me hurt like a bitch, and losing her had made me lose my game. I wondered if Brent Loman thought I’d ‘have what it takes’ if he saw me play like crap.

  A new wave of sadness hit me as I remembered the package I’d received on my birthday.

  “I guess senior year’s going to be interesting.” Laughed Lex.

  I turned to see what he was laughing at when I saw Carl rubbing the lump and bruise that was forming on his jaw.

  Chase had hit him really hard.

  That’s my girl. My girl…mine.

  I had to come up with a plan to get her back. I didn’t know what, because I didn’t want to be nursing a sore face like Carl, but it had to be good enough for Chase to listen to me.

  “Fuck you, Lex.” Carl said, working his jaw. “Chase got lucky with that punch.”

  “Yeah, sure.” Pike laughed. “If you hadn't had been talking shit about her, again, she wouldn’t have hit you. What’s up with that, by the way? What the fuck do you have against her?”

  I admired Pike for speaking up. I felt like I’d been the only one to ask him why he had a problem.

  “She didn’t belong with us. We always had to watch what we said, or what we did. We shouldn’t have to do that, and now that she’s gone, we don’t have to.” He said, repeating his excuses.

  “You’re a jerk, Carl. No wonder girls won’t hang with us. It’s you, you’re a fucktard.”

  “I am?!” Carl almost screeched like a girl. “What about you guys? None of you wanted her there either.”

  “At first, maybe.” Said Stu. “That was before I knew how cool she was. I mean, she’s into all the stuff we are. She kicked ass at video games, and she took Logan to the dirt bike race. She was just quiet, and she never talked about clothes and shopping like other girls. She just… hung out.”

  “Whose side are you on?” Carl snapped at Stu.

  Stu was the reason Carl hung with us in the first place.

  “Carl, you’re being unreasonable. They guys know the reason you never wanted her there. They’re not fucking stupid.” Stu said to him, pointing at his chest.

  Carl looked around at us. Of course, I knew, but he didn’t know the others had realized why he was a colossal dick.

  Jealousy.

  “Fuck this, I’m out.” Carl growled.

  “Carl.” I said, with a threatening tone in my voice. “You’re part of this team. Don’t let your jealousy affect our game.”

  “Our game? Seriously, Logan?” He asked, sarcastically, raising his hands in emphasis. “Our game is affected, right now, because you’re so hung up about Chase.” He spat, but he never stepped closer to me. He knew I’d swing for him too.

  “That may be so, Carl. But I’m not taking it out on anybody else, and I’m certainly not blaming other people for my mistake.”

  Not anymore.

  “Fuck you.” Carl said, turning and walking away.

  “Let him go.” Said Stu. “It killing him that Poppy gave him a dirty look today, and now that Chase is hanging with her… He thinks she’s said something bad about him.”

  I had no idea about that, because Carl never said anything. Of course, he wouldn’t want us to know, but Chase wouldn’t do that. Would she?

  “Poppy’s looked at him
like that since Chase started to hang with us.” Pike added. “Is that the reason? He thinks Poppy doesn’t like him because of Chase?”

  “Yeah.” Stu nodded. “I thought you knew?”

  “I knew he thought we couldn’t get girls because of her, which is stupid, but I didn’t know it was Poppy.”

  “He’s an asshole, and I wish Chase had kicked him in the nuts.” I added.

  “Whatever. Let’s get back to practice. Adam and the others are here now.” Lex said, jerking his chin in the direction of the other team members.

  Baseball was the last thing I wanted to be doing, but I needed to take my mind off of Chase.

  Yeah right.

  All through practice, all I could think about was Chase. How she looked the last time I saw her, and how she looked today. I squirmed on the bench as my body reacted instantly to thoughts of her. It didn’t matter that she wore loose clothes, I found her totally sexy anyway, but today… Today I was a complete hormonal mess.

  For the rest of the day, I constantly heard Chase’s name mentioned along the halls.

  Chase is so hot!

  I never thought she was hiding such a sweet ass.

  Wow, Chase has a smokin’ rack!

  And the worst I’d heard muttered from somebody, whom I didn’t know:

  I wonder if she fucks as good as she looks?

  The second I heard that I turned around, ready to kill whoever had said it. I knew it was a guy; I’d heard his voice. The thing was, everybody had avoided eye contact with me the moment I turned. They probably didn’t know I could hear them.

  If I found out who it was, they were going to be very sorry.

  I continued walking to my last class when I stopped, a sick feeling hitting me in the gut. Chase was leaning against the lockers, and one of the football players was talking to her. Thankfully, she looked as bored as ever, but I could tell he was trying hard to get her attention.

  I walked closer, keeping my head down as if I hadn’t seen. I was just in earshot when I heard her answering whatever he’d asked.

  “No. I’m not interested. I have things to do anyway.” She said, blowing out a breath. “I gotta go.”

  Chase straightened and walked away. The football player just watched her leave, raking his hand through his hair.

  “Logan.” He said, when he spotted me.

  Fuck!

  “Yeah?” I asked, trying to look as though I didn’t wish he was dead.

  “So…um… you and Chase broke up?”

  Oh my God, I wanted to strangle the guy so much. He’d hit on Chase before getting confirmation from me? So, we weren’t actually dating, but I wanted to choke him all the same.

  “What do you want?” I asked, not answering his question.

  “Just asking. She’s hot, and now you’re not together, a bunch of guys have been asking about her, and wanting to take her to the dance. Nobody’s gotten a ‘yes’ yet though.”

  I felt as if I were going to throw up. Chase had already been asked out by guys on our first day back. I could feel the sting in my nose, and before I made a fool of myself, I turned and walked out of the building.

  Last class wasn’t going to happen today.

  Chapter 13

  Chase

  I felt numb inside.

  Walking back into school, after the summer I’d had, felt as though I was in a dream. I couldn’t break myself out of the coldness of my mood. I was angry, hurt, upset, and to top it all off Logan acted as if nothing had happened; like I hadn’t witnessed the sickening sight a few days before.

  It’s got nothing to do with me. I kept telling myself.

  Logan wasn’t mine, and I had no right to feel angry.

  Oh who was I kidding? I had every right to be angry.

  Of all the times he was extra nice to me, making me feel things for him, making me fall in love with him… No. I wasn’t going back to there and I felt my hard shield snap firmly in place as I walked down the hall.

  I could feel eyes on me, and even though I was listening to my music, I knew people were talking about me.

  I looked different.

  Gone were the baggy clothing to hide my body, and out were the skinny jeans, tight vests, and even wearing my long hair loose and flowing down my back.

  Ok, so I had a loose vest over my tight one that had big arm holes so you could see the vest underneath, and the neckline hung lower too, but they went together, and I wasn’t completely comfortable allowing people to see the entire shape of my body. It was noticeable though.

  I’d shaken my head when I looked at my reflection that morning. It was like something out of ‘she’s all that’ where the dowdy girl becomes beautiful. Not that I thought I was gorgeous by any means, but I knew I looked good. Poppy had told me so.

  Over the summer weeks, I’d found out that if Poppy told you, you looked good, you did. She didn’t lie about that. She’d told me I looked like I was hiding, and that the loose pants and tops were doing nothing for me. I knew that myself, but when she told me, she was spot on. Changing into the new jeans and top I’d been forced to buy, she looked so excited she even bounced up and down and clapped her hands.

  I wasn’t quite as ecstatic as she was, but it was time for me to grow up. Time for me to stop hiding and to be seen.

  I knew Logan had seen me too, but I didn’t even acknowledge him. I walked straight past as if he weren't even there.

  Doesn’t feel good, does it?

  Math class was easier than expected. Logan had sat at the table next to me, staring. Trying to get my attention hadn’t worked. I wasn’t giving him the satisfaction of me acknowledging his stares.

  Yawning, I made it perfectly clear that I was bored.

  When I’d met up with Poppy afterwards, she’d told me that he’d watched me as I walked towards her.

  I didn’t care. He could go fuck himself, or the girl I’d seen outside his house. I didn’t even want to say her name.

  Punching Carl had been sweet.

  Hearing his words, something inside me snapped. Before I knew it, I was marching towards him, having an out-of-body-experience as my fist connected with his jaw.

  I could see myself doing it, but it didn’t feel like me.

  But now it was.

  The Chase that didn’t take shit.

  The Chase that didn’t just fight back with words.

  This Chase could get physical.

  I looked down to my knuckles. They were still a little red. I’d connected with his jaw, causing a bruise to my own hand.

  It was totally worth it.

  I’d been leaning against my locker when Joel, the high school football -whatever the position was, I didn’t know- approached me, asking whether I was busy and would I like to go to the movies with him.

  I’d blown him off, leaving him standing there. Out of the corner of my eye, I’d noticed Logan walking towards me and I wasn’t about to stand there and listen to anything he had to say.

  I was tired of the guys already. Since walking into school, I’d gotten:

  Hey Chase, what are you doing later?

  I simply said ‘stuff’.

  Hey Chase, wanna go out sometime?

  Again, a one word answer. No.

  Some even had the audacity to ask me to homecoming dance!

  None of the guys had noticed me around school, unless I was with Logan, and not in that way either. Shedding a jacket, ok a little more, had them approaching me fast. It was disgusting.

  I smiled as I walked to the last class of the day.

  It was funny. I could use that to my advantage. I thought, wickedly.

  So the guys thought I was suddenly dateable? They were wrong. Very wrong.

  Yeah I would’ve liked to have been wanted by somebody. Just wanted, not actually going out with them, but it would’ve been nice to have been asked.

  I’d wanted it to be Logan, but now… Now I had a lot of guys wanting me the first day back.

  Quite the turnaround.

&n
bsp; I was going to show them what it was like to be unwanted and just ignored. Let’s see how they like that.

  I knew, deep down, that the person I was aiming my revenge on was Logan, but I wanted to give the others a taste of their own medicine too.

  That would be coming in the form of homecoming game.

  I smiled again.

  Last class was quiet. Except for the whispers at the back of class, nobody said anything to me. Which had been the norm, but it was because they didn’t know what to say. I’d caught a couple of things from a group of guys.

  “Are you going to talk to her?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, I want to but… look at her. She’s hot! She won’t talk to us.”

  “Come on, guys. We have to at least try. There’s three of us. She’ll talk to one of us, at least.”

  I chuckled under my breath. I knew who the guys were. They were mostly quiet, like me, but they had a large group of friends and knew how to entertain at a party. I turned in my seat to get a look at them. Let them know I’d heard them.

  The looks on their faces were hilarious.

  Their eyes widened, and their cheeks flushed bright red, putting their heads down away from eye contact.

  Slowly, I turned to the front when I heard ‘shit’ muttered from their direction.

  When class had finished I rose from my seat, picking up my bag, and made my way out of the class. Passing the boys who were trying to act as though they weren’t looking, I made eye contact. I smiled as I walked past.