Breathe [Running to Love 3] (Siren Publishing Classic)

by Allyson Young

  “These are rooms for scenes, Rowan,” Jace offered like a tour guide. “There are also private rooms for members to entertain or just stay over.”

  Scenes. Real BDSM scenes. Rowan’s stomach tightened, and her sex got wetter just like that. She didn’t know if scenes were for her, but the sexual activity certainly was. She came to an abrupt halt, teetering on her heels, when an older, slender man stepped out of what appeared to be an office and motioned her inside. Jace shut the door behind her and remained in the hall. Rowan was startled and reached blindly behind her for the doorknob. What the hell? Had Jace just turned her over to this other man and left her? No, she realized, this was just part of the privacy everyone respected, and it calmed her.

  The older man gave her a careful scrutiny, and she bore it with her usual poise. He wasn’t really tall, compared to Jace, and had more of a swimmer’s physique, yet had a quiet strength about him that was appealing. He, too, sported a short haircut, but his was blond going silver. He had unusual green eyes, like the color of green grapes, like the eyes of her childhood cat. He actually looked at her the same way Oscar did when he was annoyed that his dinner was late. Rowan dismissed her musings.

  “I’m Alistair Frayne. Jace has asked for you to be allowed to witness one of our more private activities. Is this something you want to do?”

  Rowan inclined her head and then quickly replied, seeing the same glint of displeasure reflected on his face that she had seen on Jace’s when she hadn’t spoken aloud. “Yes, please.”

  Alistair gave a short bark of laughter that didn’t sound amused. “Such a polite sub. Jace doesn’t know his luck. Read these and sign them. Or don’t.”

  Rowan was bewildered by both Alistair’s apparent bitterness and his reference to her as a sub. She hadn’t even done anything yet that was remotely submissive. Or had she? She skimmed through the documents and recognized them as basic release and confidentiality forms, and scribbled her name across the bottom of both. Alistair took them without further comment and locked them in a file cabinet.

  “It’s up to you what you share with Jace, Rowan Scott. But he won’t get any additional information from me and you won’t get anything on him, understood?”

  “I understand.” Rowan felt slightly overwhelmed when Alistair then bent an incredibly sexy and welcoming smile on her and escorted her to the door. She instinctively ducked her head as he passed her to Jace, but it didn’t stop her from seeing the telling look the two men shared. Rowan felt as though she had passed some sort of initiation and wasn’t sure she liked it, yet she felt claimed and significant, too.

  “C’mon, honey. Greg and Lacey are already at it.”

  Chapter Five

  Jace fairly hustled her back down the hall, and they entered one of the rooms, now cluttered with many of the people who had been in the lounge area, although Rowan didn’t take much time to notice. Her eyes were on the little woman who had been with the big blond man. She recognized her even without her clothes. Her petite form was suspended by some kind of leather ties at her wrists and ankles within a large, freestanding frame. She hung there as if crucified, spotlighted by a light in the ceiling, and then Rowan saw the leather supporting her at her waist. The big blond man had taken off his shirt and had what appeared to be a long strap in his hand. The woman’s back and buttocks had red marks all across them, and Rowan once again found it hard to breathe. This made it all so real, the difference between how her imagination interpreted the written word and what actually was taking place before her very eyes. She could feel the suppressed, yet tangible sexual excitement in the room, pressing in from all sides, feel the empathy for both Lacey and Greg, and longed to experience something like it for herself.

  Jace gathered her to him and held her back to his chest, talking quietly in her ear. “Lacey discovered that the best way to work off her stress and also submit to Greg is the lash, Rowan. Watch how she welcomes it and how he knows just how hard to stripe her.”

  Rowan continued to be mesmerized by the sight of Lacey arching into each stroke, moaning with what seemed to be satisfaction verging on ecstasy. “She wants him to do that to her?”

  “It’s a reward, honey. Greg is pleased with Lacey. If he wasn’t, he would be disciplining her in private, and she wouldn’t be in subspace now.”

  The idea of flagellation wasn’t new to Rowan. It had been around since the beginning of time, and probably released endorphins and other brain chemicals that made the mind let go, dissociate, not to mention how it would awake all the tiny nerve endings in the skin. She wasn’t so sure of what to make of Jace’s comment about discipline. Lacey was being taken down from the frame now, her little form drenched with perspiration, boneless and replete. Greg laid her body facedown over some sort of high padded bench and kicked her ankles apart, albeit with gentleness, and stepped between them. Rowan realized he had released his penis and watched in awe as he thrust up into his girlfriend’s body, powering forward and back, in and out of her relaxed form. Lacey suddenly screamed, a sound that filled the room, and Rowan flinched for her. She nearly missed Greg’s groan of completion.

  “It’s okay, honey. He just got her off, and coupled with the flogging, it was probably a spectacular orgasm.”

  As they watched, Greg pulled out and tucked himself away and then scooped Lacey up, carrying her further into the dark of the room. A door shut, and Jace told her that Greg would probably bathe Lacey and stay with her a while before taking her home. Rowan personally felt as though she had run miles or had done a full circuit at the gym. Her heart pounded, and she knew she was breathing heavily. Her pussy clenched and tingled and her breasts felt heavy.

  “Do you want to come to a member’s room with me and talk about what you just saw and felt, Rowan?”

  She felt herself nod again and tried to verbalize but nothing came out of her mouth, so she shut it with a snap. Jace chuckled, but it sounded forced, and she knew he hadn’t been unaffected by what they had witnessed. “I’ll ask ’Stair to tell your friend and Ash that I’ll drive you home. Okay?”

  This time she was able to answer, now that her saliva glands were working again and her mouth wasn’t as dry as the desert. “I should probably do that myself.”

  Jace hesitated and then said, “I think those three have other plans, honey. Let Alistair do it.”

  Rowan studied his face, and was filled with a sudden suspicion, but let it go. She had decided to trust him tonight, see this thing through, and if he thought she might change her mind if she met up with Jackie again, he was incorrect. But then, he didn’t really know her, despite his obvious concentrated attention on her. “All right.”

  * * * *

  Jace hid his elation. He didn’t want Rowan’s friend to influence her and maybe make her second-guess herself, and he also wanted to push Alistair a little. The man was acting peculiar, and Jace didn’t like the fact that he had flexed his owner muscles unnecessarily tonight. The quickly hidden look on Alistair’s face when Jace asked him to pass on the message confirmed his earlier suspicions that there was something going on with Rowan’s friend, Jackie. But ’Stair shrugged and agreed, so Jace moved Rowan right along. He chose the member room with care. This one wasn’t monitored, and he knew that Alistair would give him some grief about it, but that the other man would also give him the benefit of the doubt and grant him privacy. Jace had never hurt a woman, never upset one, and was not considered any kind of risk. He had worked hard for that reputation to better assuage the memories of his past. Jace didn’t want to spook Rowan, although she had made it through Lacey’s flogging with hardly a hitch. He had felt her curiosity and arousal, and there had been no sense of judging. Rowan was a gem, and he intended to explore her every facet.

  She prowled the room like a cat, probably looking for whips and chains, but Jace knew she would find only the large bed that dominated the room. There were eyebolts on all four posts, but the restraints were tucked beneath the mattress. Jace wasn’t averse to using the flogger o
r a crop, even a cane if the woman needed it, but any correction he administered usually came from the flat of his big hands. Insofar as bringing a woman to the heights, well, there were other ways to do that, and he liked using restraints, if only to take her choice away and help her really let go, but unless Rowan needed the kiss of the whip, he didn’t plan to use one. He was dominant, but not a truly committed Dom. It didn’t matter to him, and he’d soon find out what mattered to Rowan.

  She finally quit pacing and perched on the edge of the bed. Jace pushed up from the wall he had been leaning against, and sprawled beside her, forcing her to turn her body if she wanted to look at him, and he expected that she would do so. Her eyes found his as if drawn by a magnet. He was already semitumescent, both from watching the scene and from the anticipation of being sexual with this woman, and her proximity stirred him further.

  “Thoughts? Questions?”

  Rowan tilted her head and said, “I don’t think I could be put on display like that. I mean, that woman, Lacey, she was obviously fine with it, but I’m too private.”

  “That’s a hard boundary, honey, and I can respect that. I’m not inclined to share my experiences with a group either.” Jace again fought elation.

  “I don’t want that lash either, ever. My stomach clenches when I think of it, and not in a good way, Jace.”

  Better and better. “Done.”

  Rowan laughed, a breezy, light sound that skittered across Jace’s heightened senses. He wanted to pull her down and give her something more to smile about. “I didn’t think this was going to be so easy.”

  Jace felt his alpha stir, and he took charge instantly. It was time she saw this side of him, time that she saw more evidence that she was not in control in this instance. “Great, hot submissive sex on your part can’t be described as easy, Rowan. I’m going to list some other hard boundaries and you’ll get to choose now. No negotiating later. Or we’re done. Understand?”

  Her eyes widened, and she nodded cautiously, clearly remembering at the last moment to answer with a quiet “Yes.”

  “I don’t do knife play, wax, blood, scat, or urine. No breath play either. You want to add anything?”

  He watched her swallow, and his cock hardened further. It wanted in that mouth. He managed not to wince and waited, although his patience was nearing its end.

  “I’m not sure about anal sex.”

  Jace immediately shook his head. “Not up for negotiation, Rowan. I won’t take you there unless you are ready and well prepared. If you’re not sure, then you’re just anxious. You’ll simply have to trust me, because anal is high on my list of most wanted.”

  This time she touched her throat and swallowed more visibly. “All right.”

  His heart leapt at her acquiescence. “Choose your safe word.”

  Rowan’s lashes veiled her eyes and she murmured, “Rutabaga.”

  Jace felt himself boggling at her. “What? A vegetable?”

  Rowan shrugged, the movement making her breasts lift and fall against the fabric of her dress. Her nipples were hard, and Jace’s fingers tingled to touch her there. “It’s not an easy word to say, and I don’t want to say it unless I really mean it.”

  Fuck, this woman was downright cerebral. But enough talking, more doing.

  “Take your dress off.”

  He watched as she stood and reached for the hem of the dress, her hands visibly trembling. She hesitated, her throat working again and Jace wondered if he had pushed her too hard. She then obviously gulped in air and yanked the crimson silk over her head and then stood, clutching it in front of her, just looking at him. Jace gestured to the closet and enjoyed the flexing of her thighs and calves and how her tight, small ass cheeks barely moved when she walked over to hang it up. She had great posture, and that would probably transfer when she knelt for him.

  “Lose the pretty bra and panties, but leave the thigh highs and shoes on.” Jace mentally congratulated himself on winning his underwear bet, and tried not to show any hint of how her nudity affected him in his voice or on his face. He couldn’t keep his cock from advertising though.

  Rowan quickly dealt with her underwear and then crossed to him when he held out his hand. He made her stand for his inspection for a few minutes, admiring her poise. Her small, high breasts were tipped with tight, dark nipples, and he knew they would taste like sweet blackberries when he suckled them. The naked lips of her tiny pussy glistened with her natural lubricant, and Jace’s mouth watered. He felt his self-control slip and made himself move. He pulled her down beside him and laid her out, spread-eagle. Jace dispensed with any thought of restraints and instead guided her fingers to the slats of the headboard. “Hang on and don’t move, Rowan.”

  Her long legs felt so supple to his touch, and he smoothed his hands down her thighs, separating them as he did so. Christ, he could smell her arousal and her luminous eyes sucked him in. Jace shucked his shirt and pried his cock from his pants, breathing a sigh of relief when it sprang free. He kicked his shoes off and dispensed with his pants and boxers. He knew he was probably making a mistake by not teaching Rowan what he wanted from her right from the get-go, but he found he was again sadly lacking in control. This was a sign of something different for certain. Jace normally had no problem making himself wait, but this time it felt absolutely unnecessary. He sheathed himself and slid over Rowan’s long body until he rested between her widespread thighs. His cock found its way home without any direction and fought up inside of her, her incredible heat and wetness easing the way. Fuck, when those silky thighs slid up to enclose his hips and her arms slipped around his shoulders, to hold him close, Jace forgot about teaching her, training her, forgot about being the dominant. His brain snagged on that errant thought. He was dominant, never needed to be, but this was right, this was what they both needed and he began to rut mindlessly. Rowan met him stroke for stroke, and he powered on until her body lost the rhythm and her pussy began to clench on him. Jace gritted his teeth and staved off his orgasm, fighting the pull of her sheath, swiveling his hips to prod her high up near her cervix, and she abruptly convulsed against him and moaned into his shoulder. Jace followed her over the edge and collapsed against the force of his climax, fighting to get his lungs working again before rolling off to one side. Shit, he hadn’t even kissed her.

  * * * *

  Rowan lay beside Jace in the dimly lit room, waiting for her heart to slow down and her trembling to cease. She hadn’t expected it to be this way, thought there would be something different, something more, and then chided herself. The sex had been very, very good, better than any of her previous experiences, not that she had a lot to compare to. She had come, the first time being sexual with this man, and without clitoral stimulation. But she felt shortchanged somehow. She thought that they had used the titillation of Lacey and Greg’s connection, instead of building their own. She felt kind of used, convenient, that this could be perceived as a one-night stand, and learned something extremely important about herself in that moment. She wanted what Greg and Lacey had, minus the whip and hanging thing. She wanted that incredible, powerful, obvious connection. This had been a mistake. It felt like Jace had misled her, set her up for something and then withheld it. It didn’t make sense because he had been so aware of her, had seemed to know…

  “Rowan?” Jace’s voice interrupted her train of thought. She wasn’t yet ready to face him, so kept her eyes closed and hoped he would leave her alone for a few more minutes. She felt him rise up beside her and run his hand down over her breast and down her side to the curve of her hip, before dropping a kiss on her shoulder. The bed dipped, and she heard fabric rustling. She peeked to see his nicely muscled ass disappearing into the adjoining bath. She wondered if she could get dressed and leave before he returned and had her answer when the shower kicked on. She felt like she had been abandoned and ignored the fact that she hadn’t responded to Jace when he had queried her, pretending to be asleep. She wanted to cry for some reason and decided to get mov
ing and stave off the waterworks until she got home. She couldn’t face him. She wasn’t certain she could face herself.

  Fully dressed, although not taking the time to put up her hair, Rowan quietly let herself out of the room and made her way down the hall, backtracking to the green door. She barely managed to choke back a scream when Alistair materialized in front of her.

  “Saw you on the hall security feed, sub. Heading home so soon?”

  Rowan couldn’t look at him and kept her eyes on the floor. “Rowan!”

  His voice cracked like that whip thing and she immediately looked up and answered, “I need to leave, please. Just let me go. I’ve signed your forms and I won’t cause any trouble.”

  Alistair searched her face with eyes that now looked like shards of green glass, and then he nodded. “Not my business, but no woman leaves the club without an escort or at least a walk out to her car. How did you get here?”

  “Ashley drove us. Can you call me a cab?”

  “I’ll see you get one. Come on.”

  Rowan hurried after him, feeling as though she was mimicking the striking redhead from earlier, two steps behind and all. He yanked open the front door and looked up and down the street. A shrill whistle emanated from his mouth and a yellow cab pulled a U-turn and stopped right in front of them. She gave Alistair a quick, sideways glance and then thanked him. He pulled a couple of twenties from his pocket and shoved them at the driver before handing her inside and shutting the door. He hesitated and then spoke through the partly open window. “I don’t know what happened, Rowan, but I hope you aren’t running from something you’ve needed all your life.”

  She dropped her eyes again and the cab pulled away, and Rowan reflected on his words. Jace had had an initial impact on her like nothing she had ever felt before, but then she’d felt empty, had that used feeling, and she didn’t know if she could trust him after all. It actually seemed as if he had found her lacking, not worthy of educating. She shook any other thoughts out of her head and gave the driver her address. Funny how it hurt to breathe.