Breathe [Running to Love 3] (Siren Publishing Classic)

by Allyson Young

  “I’m sorry, Rowan. I didn’t want to hurt you like that. I’m so sorry.” The words pushed grudgingly past his lips and were all the more sincere for it.

  Rowan pressed her lips against his mouth, sealing in any further apology. Jace held very still for a fraction of a moment and then responded with almost savage force, claiming her mouth and ravaging it. He pushed one hand through her hair and anchored her head as his other hand held her even more firmly against him. They kissed until neither could breathe and only then came apart, gasping for air and a shred of common sense.

  “We can’t do this here, honey,” Jace said. “Can we go to your place? I haven’t even unpacked.”

  Rowan nodded mutely, unable to even frame a coherent sentence. He helped her up, and she automatically straightened her clothing and tried to push her loosened hair back up into its confining clip. Jace forestalled her, releasing it instead, his face softening as it fell around her shoulders and down her back. He smoothed it away from her face with both hands, mirroring her previous tender hold of him, and touched her forehead with his lips, before stepping back to allow her to lead on.

  * * * *

  Jace glanced around her apartment and turned to look at her. “It’s not so different than mine, Rowan. Just big enough for one person and not really homey, eh? It’s all the new construction.”

  Rowan heard the need to fill the silence in Jace’s voice and realized he was as nervous as she felt. She had driven back to her place in her car with him after he had elected to leave his marked unit in the station parking lot. Rowan hoped he was protecting her reputation and not hiding their connection and then mentally slapped herself for once again doubting him. He clearly felt for her, just as she felt for him, and she was being stupid. No, she was being obstinate. What in hell did she want anyhow? Why was she feeling so undeserving? It was enough already!

  “Jace?”

  He reached out a hand and Rowan took it. She drew him to the couch, her old, shit-brindle-brown mainstay, the only thing that redeemed the white box of her new home, and sat with him. “Tell me if you want this, Jace. Tell me if you want a relationship, because it’s you I want, but not just for what you can teach me. I want it all.”

  Jace gave her a solemn look and said, “I’m no prize, Rowan, you need to understand. My old man didn’t set the best example, and I’m shit scared to commit, scared I’ll turn into him and really hurt you. I don’t know if I can do this.”

  Rowan laughed, and Jace looked stunned. She quickly said, “I thought you didn’t feel enough for me to commit, didn’t see me worthy of spending the time other than to do the sexual thing. I didn’t know you were scared. We’re both nuts. There’s something to be said for dating, and getting to know one another. Learning each other’s history and making allowances, adjustments, working up to things.”

  Jace’s features relaxed and he grabbed both of her hands before responding. “I care about you, Rowan. I connected with you the first time I laid eyes on you, and instead of staying true to what used to be my form, I made love to you.” Jace laughed next, but it was a bitter sound. “That meant a lot to me, but I set you up for something different.”

  Rowan smiled and felt her heart and soul brighten and lift further. “It meant a lot to me, too, but all that other stuff spoiled it, because it both confused me and set me up to expect something different. I was greedy and you have no idea how I regret that.”

  They sat for a while in comfortable silence, just absorbing the novelty of their recent connection. Rowan relaxed against Jace’s broad chest, listening to the reassuring thump of his heart and enjoyed the slow stroke of his hand down her back and his lips on her hair. When her body began to awaken again in response to his proximity, Rowan took hold of herself. She leaned back and smiled at him, thrilled that she was able to do so. “Now, it’s my turn to call you a cab.”

  Jace looked at her in surprise. “What?”

  “It’s late, and I need to work tomorrow. So do you. I’ll call you a cab.”

  “But I thought…” Jace’s voice trailed off as he absorbed the implication of her statement.

  Rowan hid another smile, contenting herself with placing a kiss on his cheek. “You can call me at work tomorrow, or stop by to ask me out, Jace. We’ll have a courtship, and let this town bear witness.”

  Jace nodded and stood, making no effort to conceal his bulging erection, and gave her an equally chaste kiss. “Tomorrow, Rowan,” he promised, and it made her pussy clench. Before she could give into her need, she pushed him through the door, and shut it tightly, throwing the dead bolt to lean her weight against it. It was going to be so hard, but she knew it was the right way to go about it. And Jace obviously agreed.

  Chapter Nine

  Jace thought he might lose his mind over the next few weeks. He dealt with petty personnel issues on the job, including settling that asshole English’s hash simply by deputizing him for time off and vacation coverage. Alice backed off, albeit huffily, when it became clear that the new police chief was romancing the new librarian. The mayor was pleased with his youth initiative, planning to address the vandalism and graffiti issues, and his visible presence in all the downtown businesses seemed to endear him to the business people. The job became a combination of public relations and minimal policing, which left Jace lots of time to pursue Rowan, except that was all that he was doing. He jerked off every morning in the shower and had woken in the night on two occasions in the midst of an erotic dream about her, embarrassing himself like a teenager. He had to buy an extra set of sheets for his monk’s bed and wasn’t thrilled with having to change it once in the middle of the night. And yet he had never felt so rested and so alive.

  They went out for dinners, caught movies, walked the downtown in the balmy evenings, and exchanged frantic, hot kisses and the occasional grope when he took her home, but Rowan wouldn’t invite him into her apartment or accompany him back to his. Jace got little satisfaction out of recognizing that it was just as difficult for Rowan to deny herself. Jace admitted that he came to know her better than he knew even his old police friends, and that was saying something. More importantly, he came to better understand himself, as he opened up to Rowan, and found her so tolerant and interested and accepting that it made him open up more and more. He looked forward to the day when he would meet her family and siblings and even entertained the idea of introducing her to his brother and sister. But Jace had been celibate for longer than he could ever remember in his adult life, and he longed to have Rowan in his bed, forever. The idea of forever no longer fazed him. He had even begun to look for a house and found three possibilities to show Rowan once he worked up the courage.

  “I’m going to Tulsa to see Jackie this weekend, Jace.” Rowan popped a cherry tomato into her mouth and chewed it carefully. Jace wanted to reach over and lick her bottom lip and barely restrained himself. They were having dinner together in one of the local restaurants, and all the other patrons were very much aware of them. Jace would normally have been mortified at being the recipient of so many knowing smiles and fatuous glances, but instead kind of reveled in them. He had the hottest, most lovely woman in all of Morrisville, hell, in the whole damn state, as his girlfriend, and he didn’t care who knew it.

  He mentally checked his schedule instead of acting on his carnal need. “I’ll take you, Rowan. I haven’t been back for a bit, and I can catch up with some of the guys. I was kind of a prick to them the last while.”

  She gave him that smile, the one he wanted her to reserve only for him, begrudging even a millimeter of it spilling over onto anyone in close proximity. “That would be great, sweetheart.”

  Jace preened in the face of the endearment and then looked around cautiously. No one seemed to notice his less than manly reaction, and he realized how little it mattered if they had. He smiled back at Rowan, and they finished their meal in comfortable silence after making arrangements for leaving town on the Saturday morning.

  * * * *

 
The drive back to the city involved a lot of handholding and Jace pretending really hard that Rowan’s choice in music was something he could come to live with. He suspected that she in turn didn’t care for country and also compromised. It made him happy to think that they were acting like a real couple, or at least some version of what he hoped a real couple acted like. Without the sex of course, but when they did get into bed together or on some other horizontal service, the wait would make it all worth it in the end. Rowan was staying with Jackie, despite his suggestion that they take a hotel room, and so he had called Max.

  Max willingly offered his spare room and told him that he’d made arrangements for them to meet with some old friends at the club for the game. He walked Rowan from the car up to Jackie’s place, carrying her little overnight bag, and kissed her good-bye, promising to return the next day in the afternoon to pick her up. It was hard to leave her, but he saw the excitement in her eyes and knew she really needed time with her friend. Jackie didn’t seem terribly pleased to see him, and Jace ruefully remembered how he had harassed her in the past for news of Rowan. It was something else for him to make amends for in the future, although he suspected she might forgive him. He headed over to Max’s home, and once he had exchanged a manly, shoulder-pounding hug with his friend and caught up a little, addressed the plan to visit the club.

  “I’m not sure that Alistair will appreciate me turning up there, Max.”

  “He’s past your fuck up, Jace. He was the one who suggested we get together and have a few drinks.”

  Jace felt considerable relief. He liked ’Stair, despite their past difficulties, and hoped this meant they could connect again, although it would never be like old times. What he and Rowan had now didn’t include that piece of his life. Jace ignored the twinge of regret he felt at the thought. He was content in this new thing he’d found.

  “Are Ash and Jackie still an item?”

  Max smiled. “They are. And I was getting invited over sometimes, but now I think there’s somebody else in the equation. Oh, well, there’ll be other opportunities.”

  Jace shook his head. “I don’t get the appeal of sharing, buddy, but whatever floats your boat. It’ll be good to hang out, because I’m going to be kind of lost without Rowan. We’ve been spending a lot of time together.”

  Max stared at him for a long moment, and Jace knew he had just missed something. “What?”

  “I never thought I’d see the day, Jace. Or hear it straight from the horse’s mouth. Good for you, man. I’m happy for you.”

  “I’m happy for me, too.” Jace heard the truth in those words, and if a tiny part of him wanted to unleash his dominant sexual side with Rowan, well, that could wait or even go away if it wasn’t suitable. He had to keep on this path, because it had led to the best thing he’d ever had in his life. He quickly changed into jeans and a clean shirt and decided not to shave again that day. The guys wouldn’t care and he spent his time on vanity for Rowan and only Rowan.

  * * * *

  Someone had hauled in a big screen and much of the furniture had been dragged over to group loosely around it. Jace had almost forgotten about the big game, but then his spare time had been fully occupied by a certain tall brunette. He remembered that Rowan had said she liked baseball and football but not hockey and wondered what she was presently doing. She and Jackie were probably working on a bottle of wine and playing catch up. Hopefully they weren’t dissecting him. Nope, Rowan wouldn’t do that. Jace felt comfortable in accepting that fact. She might tell Jackie that he and she were an item, and reassure her friend that it was all good, but Rowan wouldn’t feel the need to discuss him. Jace shook the hand of yet another friend who commented on how the lost had been found, and grabbed a beer on the way to a waiting chair. He hadn’t seen Alistair and wondered out loud where he was.

  “Probably in his office,” someone volunteered.

  Jace figured ’Stair had seen him arrive on the security feed, and it felt strange that he hadn’t come out to greet him. Maybe the guy was still pissed at him.

  “Nah,” Max said, and Jace realized he’d muttered his concern out loud. “He’s probably busy getting one of the rooms set up for later.”

  Jace stared at Max. “I thought this was just a get-together for the game. I didn’t come for a scene.”

  Max shrugged. “Really? I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

  “I think I’ll just go and say hello to Alistair and then head out.”

  “Whatever, man. You’ve got a key to the house. I’ll catch you later.”

  Jace was ticked. It seemed like Max had misled him or something, and Alistair could fuck himself if he couldn’t be bothered to drag himself from his haven to see an old friend. He shoved his way through the green door to the back area of the club and strode toward Alistair’s office. He’d be civil, rise above this shit, and then go back to Max’s. Maybe he could call Rowan just to talk. He stopped inside ’Stair’s office, and the other man looked up from his computer screen and gave a noncommittal nod. Jace’s annoyance grew, but then Alistair came around the desk and offered his hand, wringing Jace’s with a strength that belied his initial reception.

  “Good to see you again, Jace. I understand you’ve figured some shit out?”

  Jace hung onto his temper and forced a smile. He wondered how Alistair knew, but could afford to act the gentleman. He had indeed figured his shit out. “I have so, Alistair. Good to see you again. I just thought I’d say hello. Got to get going.”

  “What’s your rush, man? Stay awhile, enjoy the game.”

  “No, I think I’ll head on out.”

  Alistair shrugged and walked with him. They continued down the hallway, chatting superficially when Alistair suddenly stopped and turned to face him. Jace’s senses went on high alert. Something was up. Alistair stepped into him, and Jace stumbled backward to avoid the other man. His momentum carried him into a member room, closely followed by Alistair who then turned and left, pulling the door shut behind him. Jace found himself gaping after him, at the closed door, and then felt her presence. He turned slowly and felt his vision narrow and his temples pulse as all his blood went south. Rowan stood directly in front of him, the huge bed a backdrop to her slender form encased in the dark crimson scrap of silky stuff she had worn on their first night together. She stared at him out of her dark, luminous eyes, her olive skin glowing, flushed with excitement, her arousal visible. Jace’s cock sprang to instant attention, and he forgot to breathe. Holy mother. They had set this up, and it was the best surprise ever.

  His lungs shuddered in his chest, and Jace managed to form one word. “Strip.”

  Rowan slowly removed her dress, this time pulling the thin straps down over her shoulders one after the other, leisurely baring each inch of her flawless skin. Jace succeeded in hanging onto his self-control and didn’t rip it off of her. He wanted her to wear that dress again. She shimmied to force the fabric down over her hips, and her breasts jiggled in the confines of a pale-pink, strapless lacy bra. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep a groan from escaping and nearly had to close his eyes when the matching briefs were revealed. Rowan slipped the front clasp of the bra and let it drift down to join the dress now pooled at her feet, and the panties whispered down her thighs at the tug of her thumbs. Jace thought of visits to the dentist and drills and long needles when her bare folds, glistening with her arousal, came into view. He dragged his eyes to her beaded nipples and lost the battle.

  He was on her in the next heartbeat, covering her naked form with his fully clothed one, taking her lips with all the emotion surging from his heart, kissing her until she sobbed for air and ground her body against his. He set her away from him with studied control and reveled in her moue of disappointment.

  “On the bed, hands above your head, legs apart, feet flat on the mattress.”

  He stripped with brisk efficiency as Rowan did as she was told, and stroked his cock to calm it, watching Rowan’s eyes follow his movement. She licked her lips a
nd his little man jumped in response. It seemed as if there was nothing else on the face of the earth other than the two of them. Jace wanted to explore every inch of Rowan’s body, but once again his control eluded him. He somehow pulled on a condom before crawling up between her legs, pausing only to press a kiss on her abdomen and on each of her breasts before settling his weight over her. Once again his cock easily found her opening and pushed inside past the initial tightness, then into her liquid heat. They both moaned as one, and Jace stilled. He rested his forehead on hers and gathered her closer.

  “Rowan?”

  She opened her eyes and stared into him, and her sheath clenched around him.

  “Rowan, honey?” Jace gritted his teeth. He had to know. “What do you want, Rowan?”

  She smiled and wrapped her arms around him. “You, Jace, all of you. Now breathe, sweetheart, breathe.”

  Jace let go and a weight lifted from his soul, giving him a sense of freedom and strength. He powered in and out of his woman, doing his level best to communicate with every fiber of his being, to show her his hope and his caring, the depth of his emotion. She absorbed all of him and returned it with interest. He shuddered with the force of his orgasm and felt Rowan go over, calling out his name as she did so, the little muscles in her pussy caressing him, the long length of her body like a promise. Jace felt complete. He laid his mouth on Rowan’s against the whisper of her breath, and their eyes met again, in such close proximity that it was as if they fell inside the other. He rested against her, lost in his thoughts for the future when she spoke.