The Heart You Need

by Diane R. Jewkes

  “Are you okay?” She could hear the worry in Pru’s voice. A rush of emotions flooded over her.

  “No … no, Pru. I think I might have poked a stick into a big hornet’s nest this time.”

  “Come over as soon as you can. Johnathan is working late tonight, so we have the place all to ourselves. We’ll have dinner, and you can tell me what’s going on.”

  Linnie hung up the phone, took a deep breath, and returned to her desk to finish her day’s work.

  As she sat down, she noticed an envelope addressed to her. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. It was an invitation to luncheon with Lady Stoneham tomorrow. Pursing her lips, she wondered if Lord MacCairn was behind this. The note mentioned wanting to see the photos she had taken of them and possibly picking out a few for prints. It seemed innocent enough.

  Knowing it would be rude to refuse, and knowing answers to the type of man she was dealing with could be found, she penned a reply and sent it to the Palace Hotel.

  Chapter 6

  Linnie arrived at Pru’s shortly after 6 p.m. Pru and her husband had recently moved into their home near Nob Hill. Linnie had teased her friend about getting too high and mighty for the rest of them, but was thrilled at their success.

  Linnie and Pru walked arm in arm into the drawing room, and Linnie admired all the changes since the last time she visited. The brocade wallpaper and damask curtains gave the room a warm and welcoming feeling.

  “Pru, it’s wonderful what you have done to make this house your home.” Walking over to the piano by the front window, she picked up a photograph in a silver frame. “I see you found a suitable frame for your wedding picture.” Linnie had taken the photograph for Pru and Johnathan as her wedding gift.

  “You knew I was going to put it in the most ornate frame I could find.” Pru laughed as she sat on the sofa next to the fireplace. “It’s one of my prized possessions. Someday you’ll be famous, and I’ll have an original Adeline Ellsworth!”

  Linnie set the picture down and joined her friend on the couch. But she wasn’t sure where to start. Her stomach was roiling like a ship in a heavy sea. She didn’t know if she’d be able to eat dinner after she finished talking. “Pru, I’m in trouble.” She closed her eyes and felt Pru grasp her hands, giving them a reassuring squeeze. Opening her eyes, she let the events of the past few days spill out.

  “I know Vonn is responsible for Tommy’s death.” Taking a deep breath, she finished her tale. She felt lighter for having shared her story, but worried about involving her friend.

  “Wait … back up.” Prudence reached over and took a sip from her teacup. “I understand your suspicions about Charles Vonn. Lord knows everyone in San Francisco probably thinks the same way; the man has been a mystery since he got here. But what I want to hear about,” her eyes took on a mischievous glint, “is Lord MacCairn. You actually took your dress off in front of this man? A stranger! And, as you stated, a handsome stranger.”

  “It wasn’t like that, Pru! We were in dire straits and needed to get out of that room. And yes, he is quite handsome, but I’m not attracted to him.” Linnie twisted her fingers, not sure if she was trying to convince Pru or herself of this. “And you know I’m not looking for any romantic entanglement. I’m not sure I should even tell him what is going on.”

  “Don’t give me that guff, Linnie.” Pru arched a brow in disbelief. “I’ve known you since forever, and I can tell when you are fibbing. You are attracted to that man. And what is wrong with that?” Pru reached over, placing her hand on Linnie’s arm. “You should be attracted to a man. You’re young, smart, beautiful, and it’s been long enough. You’re not in mourning anymore. It’s time to move on. Robert wouldn’t want you to lock yourself away.”

  Pain pierced her heart. Linnie closed her eyes, fighting the burn of unshed tears. Three years since his death, and it still felt like yesterday. Robert: always a ready smile and a laugh. He had grown up in her neighborhood, though he was a few years older than she. He had played baseball on the local team, so Linnie had dragged Pru to all the games, hoping he would notice her. After he graduated from high school, he went to work for her father on his merchant ships. When she was twenty, he started courting her. They married the next year. They had been so happy. But all their dreams and hopes ended when the ship he and her father were on went down on a run to Hawaii. A storm had torn the ship apart, and all hands were lost.

  A ragged sigh tore from Linnie’s chest as she fought back the tears.

  “Oh, Lin. Lin, I’m so sorry.” Pru pulled her into her arms, rubbing her back. “I can’t imagine how you’ve managed all this time, but it is all right to move on. You need to let your heart heal. You need to love someone else. You have too much to offer to hide away behind your camera.”

  “Is that how you see me? Hiding behind my camera?” Linnie was surprised to hear herself described in such a way. Taking the handkerchief Pru pressed into her hand, she dabbed at the corners of her eyes.

  “Well, yes.” Pru sounded confused, as if it should be obvious. “Ever since Robert and your father died, you’ve used your camera to separate yourself from people. The camera is your shield. Your pictures capture everyone else’s emotions while you never show yours. You need to step out in front of your lens and become part of the world again. Maybe this man can help you.”

  Linnie was stunned. She had never thought of herself as hiding. She had always taken photographs. Her father had given her first camera to her, and she had instantly loved capturing the world around her. Maybe, just maybe, she admitted to herself, she had started using the camera as a way to keep distance after the accident … but hiding? She shook her head, not wanting to think about it right now. She had bigger issues to handle.

  “It isn’t important if I’m hiding or not, Pru. The question is; should I involve Lord MacCairn further in this issue?” Linnie rolled her head, trying to ease the ache in her shoulders. “I don’t know if he’s safer not knowing.”

  “But are you safer if he doesn’t know? And from what you said, he wants to know.” Pru leaned forward. “He could be a powerful ally. Think about it. He is one of them. The very elite in society. I’m sure Vonn and his thugs wouldn’t attempt to harm a member of British nobility. It would draw too much attention. And if you’re under Lord MacCairn’s protection, they won’t harm you either.” Linnie started to speak, but Pru continued, excitement building in her voice. “Think about it, Lin. If he knows what’s going on, he might be able to help you since he will undoubtedly be going to all the society soirees. He could talk to people and find out things you never could.”

  Linnie sat back, contemplating her friend’s words. Could it work? Would he be willing to help? Did she want to involve him in her life?

  “It won’t work, Pru,” she said. Realization weighed heavily on her. “I don’t know how long they are staying in town, and it is way beyond all that is proper to drag him into this.”

  “I disagree. It is only right you tell him why he was abducted with you and let him decide for himself if he wants to get involved. What happens if I’m wrong and because you haven’t warned him he is harmed?”

  Fear spiked the acid in Linnie’s stomach at the thought of Lord MacCairn being hurt because of her. He had helped her. It would be unfair to leave him vulnerable.

  Sighing, she hugged her friend. “Thank you for listening to me and helping me see what I should do.”

  Pru drew her up, and they headed for the dining room. “I want more details about you undressing in front of him!”

  Chapter 7

  “I’m so glad you decided to accept my invitation.” Lady Stoneham smiled as she escorted Linnie into a beautifully decorated sitting room. “Please call me Kara. May I call you Adeline? I can’t get used to people calling me ‘Lady.’ I keep looking for my dog!” She laughed as they sat down. “Honestly. I’m a complete fish out of water with all this nobility stuff.” Leaning toward her, she said with a conspiratorial tone, “I’m actually afraid of going ba
ck to Scotland with Hawke.”

  “Why? And please call me Linnie.” She couldn’t imagine what would frighten someone like Kara. She exuded confidence and grace. The woman sitting next to her was poised. Not a hair out of place, and dressed in the latest fashion. Her dark blue eyes sparkled with humor.

  “I’m sure I’ll mess up someone’s title and start some sort of brouhaha. Even though I went to school back east, the thought of meeting all those ‘high and mighty’ people with more titles than a library scares me to death.”

  Linnie was surprised at her candor. Even knowing her story, she expected someone a little more restrained. She felt more at ease knowing Lady Stoneham was just a normal girl … like her. Opening her portfolio, she removed the copies of the photographs. “But now you are one of the ‘high and mighty.’”

  “I’m just a simple cowgirl from New Mexico who was lucky enough to get a rope on that big Scotsman,” Kara told Linnie as they looked through the pictures. “Honestly, I didn’t like him when we first met.”

  “Really?” Linnie was skeptical. “You two seem so in love.”

  “He worked very hard to change my mind.” Kara laughed. “Everything about him was so different from anyone I had met in my world. Frankly, he scared me, so I tried as hard as I could to get him to leave the ranch. I’m glad I failed.”

  “What about Lord MacCairn? Did he frighten you as well?” From the moment they had been introduced, he had worked to make her laugh, blush, and be off-kilter. The man was an outrageous flirt. Both he and Lord Pryce were very handsome men, but her eyes kept returning to Lord MacCairn. Behind the twinkling eyes, behind the ready smile, there was something else. As she looked through the lens finder of her camera she noticed it. There was something underneath he wanted no one, not even his companions, to see. Interesting.

  Lifting a delicate china cup to her lips, she inhaled the lavender scent, forcing herself to lean back and drop her shoulders, not wanting Kara to know how intrigued she really was.

  “Alec, frightening?” Kara laughed. “He didn’t scare me, but he was doing his best to keep Hawke and me apart. He didn’t think I would be suitable …” Kara took a sip of her tea. “He and I agreed on that but not much else. I think I finally gained his respect though.”

  “How?” Curiosity had Linnie moving forward again.

  “She saved my best friend’s life.”

  Linnie gasped at the masculine voice. Turning, she watched Lord MacCairn entering the room. Heat crept up her neck, embarrassed to be caught inquiring about him.

  “Oh, Alec.” Kara laughed. “You know I didn’t get your respect until I beat you and Hawke at that horse race!”

  “Wait … you did what?” Linnie stammered in surprise. She looked back and forth at the two to see if they were teasing her. “You saved your husband’s life? How?” The reporter in her jumped at the prospect of a sensational story.

  “It’s a bit of a tale.” Kara’s smile slipped. Linnie could see memories crowding behind her eyes. “I was attacked by a cowhand, and then he shot Hawke.”

  “I’m sorry.” Seeing how much the story distressed Kara, she reached over and placed a hand on her arm. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  Lord MacCairn walked over to the sofa and placed a comforting hand on Kara’s shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze.

  “Suffice it to say if you make Kara mad enough, she is very capable of shooting you.” He smiled as Kara looked up at him, laughed, and stuck her tongue out at him.

  Linnie didn’t know if she should laugh or what she should do. Here was a woman in the highest echelons of society sticking her tongue out at a nobleman. Who were these people?

  “This is why I no longer try to irritate her.” Lord MacCairn laughed as Kara quirked a questioning eyebrow. “I did say ‘try.’ And I was a gracious loser in our match race.” He walked over to the sideboard and poured himself a drink.

  Linnie was flabbergasted. There were stories to be told, and her fingers itched to write them all down.

  Lord MacCairn sat next to her on the sofa, sending jangles dancing along her nerves. Her heart thudded against her chest, and she could feel the heat of his nearness. An urge to lean into the warmth had her fighting for control of her wayward senses.

  Setting his glass down, he picked up a photograph. It was Linnie’s favorite—the one that showed the shadows in his eyes behind the smiling visage.

  Alec looked at the picture, his smile slipping ever so slightly. “You have quite a keen eye, Miss Ellsworth.”

  Warning shivers raised the hairs on her nape. While he sounded complimentary, there was an undertone of something else. He didn’t sound angry, but she couldn’t quite place what his emotion was.

  “Anyway,” Kara’s voice broke the moment. “I was going to ask Linnie if she would care to join us for dinner en suite this evening.”

  “That would be capital.” Alec stood. Linnie noticed the studied smile was back in place. “Miss Ellsworth? Or may I also address you as Linnie? And I insist you address me as Alec.”

  “I … I don’t …” Linnie wasn’t sure how to respond. His question about her name sent her heart into overdrive, and her nerves tingled as thoughts of being kissed by him appeared in her mind. It was a wonderful opportunity to learn more about these people and might help her determine how much to tell Lord Mac—Alec, she corrected herself. But being alone with them, him … she wasn’t sure if she could continue to act as if he didn’t affect her.

  “I promise to tell you more harrowing tales of our time in the Wild West.” Alec winked, a flirtatious smile causing her pulse to race.

  The reporter in her won out. She couldn’t miss such a singular opportunity.

  “Will I be able to tell any of these ‘tales’?” She stood, gathering up the unchosen pictures.

  “If you think they would make an interesting story.” Kara stood and walked with Linnie to the door. “I’m so glad you are coming to dinner. Having another woman around will be a joy.”

  Kara told her what time to arrive and thanked her again for the photographs.

  Linnie walked down the hallway, wondering what the evening had in store. She knew the more she was around Alec, the stronger her attraction grew and the greater the chance her heart might lead her where her head cautioned her not to go.

  Chapter 8

  “You seem much taken by that particular picture.” Kara walked over to Alec’s side as he perused the photograph of the three of them. He knew she was trying to see what captured his interest. It was a good picture, he admitted grudgingly. Kara was seated and he and Hawke were behind her. Hawke had his hand on her shoulder, and her head was tilted as she looked up at him. “Not my best shot,” she said, wrinkling her brow, “but you and Hawke are devastatingly handsome as always. He heard her stifle a sigh. “I do wish Hawke would get back soon. I want to see what he thinks about having Miss Ellsworth to dinner. I wonder if he’ll feel the same tension between you two that I do.” Despite his scowl, she just laughed. Reaching over, she took the picture from him. “There it is. This is what has you bothered?” She pointed to his eyes. “There’s a shadow in your eyes.” She placed her hand on his arm, laughter forgotten. “You had this same look in your eyes when they brought Hawke back to the ranch with a bullet in his shoulder and we weren’t sure he would survive. She really did capture you, didn’t she?”

  She did, he thought, and I’m not sure if I’m happy about it. Practiced indifference in his posture and his look was something he had worked at all his life. Never show anyone what you are really feeling, and no one can use it against you. A lesson all young men of title were taught. But somehow, this woman had found him out.

  Tapping the photograph, she continued, “Here. She seems to have caught you unguarded.” She looked closely at the picture and then at him. “What are you hiding, Alec?”

  Alec blinked. Memories of Hawke laid out on that bed covered in blood and the fear his friend would die crowded in on him. He had watched his friend fall
in love, and then saw how it was almost all taken away. At that moment, seeing the love between Hawke and Kara, he realized how shallow his life had been. How little he was vested emotionally in truly living. Not that he was going to tell Kara that. Drawing the mask of the aloof, arrogant aristocrat he had perfected so long ago, he looked down at her, “Why Kara, I have no idea what you are speaking of.”

  “Oh, don’t try that on me, MacCairn.” Kara wagged a finger at him. “I know that look and that voice! Don’t try your British parlor manners on me!” I might remind you that I can see right through you and your ‘airs.’ Don’t try to intimidate me. What secret did Miss Ellsworth unveil with her camera? You know I’ll find out.” She smiled, letting him know she was teasing.

  “It’s nothing of note,” Alec said, reaching down, picking up his glass, and swallowing the contents in one gulp.

  “Hmmm.” Kara tapped a finger on her lips. “I’m actually more interested in the way you were looking at Miss Ellsworth than your reaction to her photographs.”

  “Ha!” she said, as he snapped his head around, glaring at her. She continued, “Hawke told me about your ‘adventure’ with Miss Ellsworth on a ship in the harbor the other night. I think she’s captured your interest.”

  “Of course she’s captured my interest,” Alec said, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. “I was nabbed, knocked out, and tied up because of her. I’d like to know why.” He felt a bead of perspiration on his brow, so turned and headed back over to the sideboard for another drink before she could see how close she was to the truth.

  “No,” she said. “It’s more than that. I think you’re attracted to our intrepid reporter.” He felt his shoulders rise, almost as if someone had struck him in the back. “Yep.” She walked over to him. “Hit the nail on the head. Well, Alec?” she asked, knowing she was poking a stick at a porcupine and could end up with a face full of quills.

  He turned with a practiced nonchalance, his face a perfect mask of indifference.