But through his travels, to ease the ache of missing Moira, he’d learned helping others gave him another reason to keep going.
Soon, he’d have to tell her—
Pain jolted the back of his head, like someone had blindsided him with a plank. He clenched his jaw, holding back the need to yell as he dropped to his knees.
“Tanith!”
No one had hit him, of course; he knew this feeling all too well. “It’s, it’s all right. Don’t— Ah!”
Moira’s hands were on his face. “Oh! What’s going on?”
Shaking, sweat breaking out like an instant fever, he shook his head. How he resented this part. Hated the worry in her big blue eyes. “Just a side effect. It won’t last—long.” Trying to manage it the best way he knew how, he attempted to stand up, but the agony intensified, and he collapsed in her arms. His lungs burned for breath, even though he heaved for oxygen.
Go the hell away. Though it was useless to make a command of something he couldn’t dominate. Like the ripple they’d both sensed at the masquerade, this was just another warning. The beginning of the end of his time with her.
Through his haze, he realized Moira held him tight and secure, much stronger than she appeared at first glance. His ballerina. With a faint smile, he forced himself upright and put his arm around her shoulder.
The elevator chimed and the doors opened.
He took two heavy steps out of the lift and cringed, his stomach feeling like barbed wire twisted around his innards. “Last room. At the end.”
From his view, the hallway appeared endless. They took careful, small steps, and he tried to stay strong through the torment, the pricks at the back of his eyes, the throbbing in his skull.
“What can I do?” Her voice helpless.
He grunted, then choked out, “Be with me.”
“Is that all?”
“Yes—it’s all I want.” He glanced at her misty eyes, so beautiful, the color reminding him of a rare blue diamond he’d obtained in Egypt long ago. Dark. Fathomless. Pure.
Already the pain began to subside just by gazing into those blue depths, seeing the devotion and concern from a woman he loved so fiercely.
Once inside the suite, he dropped into a chair while Moira rushed to fetch him a glass of water and a washcloth. He gripped the arms of the chair, willing the pain to disappear.
Soon, she knelt in front of him, pressing the damp towel to his forehead and cheeks. “How’s this?”
He studied her with hooded eyes. “Perfect,” he whispered, speaking of the cold rag, her touch, and her beauty at the same time.
While his stomach untied its knots, he captured her free hand in his. “Don’t worry about me so much. I’ve been through this before.”
“I can’t help it. It kills me to see you suffer.”
“Better me than you.”
She tilted her head. “I’m stronger than you think.”
“I know you are.”
She smiled and set down the washcloth, then smoothed the fallen locks of hair from his forehead. Desire amassed in an instant, replacing the last vestiges of pain, and he welcomed the substitution. She grazed her fingertips over his brow, and his cock swelled, a barbaric reaction to her innocent gesture.
Moira didn’t miss it, her brow arching at the evidence. “You’re feeling better already.”
“It doesn’t take much when it comes to you, angel.”
Climbing on his lap, she wound her arms around his shoulders and kissed him. Gently at first, as if more would hurt him. To demonstrate his renewed strength, he clamped a hand at the back of her neck, watched her lips part, then came in to dip his tongue inside with bold taking. He loved the low moan she gave in response, and how she took in his hot, brutal kiss with ease.
His heart raced with expectation. They were going to make love again. They had to.
But, an inner voice spoke up.
He lightly gripped her upper arms and forced himself to dislodge from her sweet mouth. “Moira. I—there are some things I need to tell you.”
With the cutest pout he’d ever seen, she said, “Tell me later.”
He chuckled. “I wish I could. You must know this now, in case I leap before dawn.”
Hearing the seriousness in his tone, she relented. “All right.” Her mouth curved in a smile. “May we at least talk in the bedroom? Where it’s comfortable?”
He climbed to his feet, his legs still shaky. “Very clever.”
They kicked off their shoes, made their way to the room, and climbed into the king-sized bed. She curled up in the crook of his arm.
“You know I’ll always take care of you,” he began, finding it hard to say the next words. “Even though I won’t be here to do it myself.”
“Don’t talk like that. Maybe there’s a chance you’ll stay with me this time.”
How he wished the small chance existed big enough for him to invest in it. But he couldn’t. Not with all the usual signs telling him otherwise. “Remember at the party when you felt a surge in the air? That’s a forewarning, Moira. You know it is. The probability I’ll jump again is—likely.” If not inevitable.
“But....”
“Shh. Just listen.” He stroked her arm to comfort her. “I want you to be happy, to live a full life. A life without worry. I know the career of a ballerina is short at best, even if you don’t get injured.” He reached in his shirt pocket and pulled out the business card of a financial planner. “I created an account in your name with every dime I have. All you need to do is call this man, and he’ll take of everything. I trust him.”
She ignored the card. “Tanith—”
“I have a villa in Tuscany. An apartment in New York. A beach house in San Diego. They’re all yours now. The money. The antiques I collected are all in your trust. The second I found out your last name, I transferred it all to you.” He placed the card in her hand. “You’ll want for nothing.”
“Nothing except you. I don’t want houses and antiques.” She dropped the card and pulled him to face her. “Stop talking like this.”
“We have to be realistic.” He ran his knuckles down the side of her soft face. “Please, do this for me? That way I know you’ll be all right. Do what you want with the properties. Sell them, live in them, turn them into retired ballerina refuges....” When she gave an empty sound of amusement, he added, “Spend all the money or save every nickel. Break the antiquities, donate them, I don’t care. But I had to do this. To make it easier on me.” His throat clogged with powerful emotions that refused to stay dormant. Disappointment, sadness, and a sense of failure. Though he could provide for her materially, he still hadn’t found a way to promise her he’d never leave.
Struck with familiar despair, he shifted out of her reach. He went to stand at the window, seeing the empty street below, his tone contemplative. “There are so many other things I can’t give you.” Like time. Children. Forever. Though difficult to ask, he made himself do it. “Promise me you won’t keep your heart to yourself. Share it with someone who can love you for a lifetime.”
“Tanith, there’s never going to be anyone else for me.”
He hung his head, moved by her deep loyalty. But he hoped one day she would find a man to spend her life with. One who deserved her.
Moira came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his middle. They stood like that for a while, in silence, until she said, “All right. Because you were once in the house in Tuscany, in San Diego and wherever, I’ll go to them. To feel you. Knowing that you were there. I’ll cherish all of these things that belong to you.”
He sighed in relief. “Good.”
Turning him around, she slid her palms up his chest to his neck. “For now, just give me you.”
It took a few brief moments until they were both naked, panting, and in each other’s arms. He crushed her to him as they kissed in wild abandon, his body alive with a desire only she could manifest. The feel of her breasts, her mass of hair heavy in his hands, the scent o
f her hot skin...oh God, how would he go on without her again?
He eased her on the bed and lay between her lithe, strong legs. Giving her kisses on her collarbone, he then laved his tongue on her taut nipples and inched his way to graze his lips on her stomach. Though slender, she wasn’t deprived of womanly hips, and he reveled at how she responded to the slightest press of his mouth, the barest trail of his fingertips, as if her body came alive with every caress. Coming down, he kissed just above her sex then licked between the soft folds, the essence of her pussy filling his mouth. She lifted her hips and groaned, and he flicked his tongue once more, just to hear that gasp and appreciative moan.
With the feminine taste of her igniting his blood, he moved to her inner thighs, feeling them quiver with every small bite of his teeth and lap of his tongue.
She arched, sliding her hands up her torso, over her nipples, into her hair. “Don’t make me wait. I want you inside me.”
Unable to harness his need, or deny her, Tanith groped for a condom from his discarded pants and rolled it on. He positioned himself above her, poising his cock at the entrance of her feminine core. He kissed her, pushing himself inside inch by inch, her body sheathing around him hot and tight. God help me.
As she wound her strong legs around him, he began to thrust, his heart thundering. His cock so hard and sensitized, he bit his lip, unable to hold back the need to drive in and out with hard, short thrusts. Her cries increased, matching his deep groans.
“Moira....” he moaned, then came down to give her a swift kiss. He took hold of her wrists and held them down, pumping into her with savage hunger while she writhed beneath him. Taking hold of his urge to fuck without restraint, he slowed down. Breathless, his cock throbbing to spend its seed, he eased to a tamer pace, sliding an arm underneath her sweaty back.
Her blue eyes shining, she looked up at him, cupping his face. When she gazed at him like that, it tore his heart in two. He adored Moira for making him feel like he was born to love her...and yet the anguish of knowing he’d be taken from her slashed his soul. A quiet sound of denial escaped from him, and pushed the dark thoughts away.
Renewed, he tightened his hold and held her up against him, thrusting and bucking into her, destroying the heartache.
Clinging to him, she buried her face in his neck and called out his name before bowing her back to scream her orgasm.
The intensity of their union and his endless love for her overcame Tanith to the point of delirium. With a few more long thrusts, he went blind, lost in the black void where the rational dare not compete. Giving a deep, guttural sound, he spilled inside Moira, the climax bursting from his body and soul. Shaken, he went languid in her arms, unable to say a word.
Chapter Four
They dozed off for an hour. At two a.m., Moira stirred and forced herself to wake. Even though she felt fatigued, she didn’t want to dream away what time they had left. She roused Tanith, claiming hunger. He’d awoken in a startled manner, as if he, too, hadn’t meant to sleep, then ordered a dozen or so items from room service. Including espresso for a shot of extra energy.
She picked at the fruit and slices of sausage and cheese, and Tanith devoured everything else. While they sipped the hot espresso, she listened with rapt attention when he began to describe his various adventures in this world. He possessed a true flair for storytelling, no doubt due to his talented way with words and superior memory. At times he made her laugh, squirm, gasp, and wish with all her heart she could’ve been with him to share it all.
After satisfying their appetites, they crawled back under the sheets, content to just hold each other.
She slid her leg over his and snuggled in, his warmth and feelings of security making her want to sleep. Instead, she chose to stifle the urge by asking him to tell the most important story of all. “Tell me how we met.”
“We’ve met many times,” he said with a tease in his tone.
“I know, but I want to hear about the first time. The very first.”
He shifted to look at her. “You’ve never asked that before.” He kissed her forehead, holding her close. “We met on a train. You were wearing a black dress with white trim, and little white gloves. I was on my way to meet John, my friend who I’d been going on cave excursions with since my time at the university. I’d gotten my hands on a rare map. A mentor of mine had left it to me after he died. For years, he’d talked about us following the clues and changing our lives.” He sighed long. “But we hadn’t. After his death, I snared the map before anyone else could. Unfortunately, it made me a little well known to some dangerous people, but I was young, thought I was invincible. I’d told John about it. Other than my mentor, he was the only one I trusted. So I got on a train to meet him. And my destiny, I guess. That’s when I saw you.”
The first vision she’d experienced at the party finally made sense. The smoke, the horn blasts, all attributes of an old fashioned locomotive. Like a flash, a scene of herself seated at a window popped into her mind, her looking up to see Tanith approaching her with that smile, handsome and dashing.
“Tell me one thing.” He sat down across from her.
“I want to sit alone,” she replied stoically, but intrigued by his blatant confidence.
His mouth lifted in a half-smile. “No. You don’t.”
The memory smeared, then vanished.
Tanith went on. “I’d seen several men approach you, and you were giving off a very distinct air that you didn’t want to be bothered, which I considered a fun challenge.”
“What did you say?” she asked, smiling.
“I told you I was involved in a matter of personal safety. That I needed your help.”
“And I believed you?” Her tone was sardonic.
“I don’t think you could decide either way. Still, you played along. You asked me what my safety had to do with you. I explained that two men were on the train, and that they were searching for an unaccompanied single male. In truth, they were just thugs who wanted to get their hands on my map. They had my name but no picture. I explained you’d be saving my ass by pretending to be my companion for the evening.”
“And I agreed to help?”
“Yes, of course. Because you were wildly attracted to me and liked the intrigue.”
“Hmph. I probably thought you were insane and knew to stay calm until I could signal for help.”
He chuckled. “Nope. You wanted to be with me with every fiber of your being.”
“Perhaps I was intoxicated.”
“More like infatuated.”
She slapped his chest. “Move on with the story.”
He chuckled, tightening his arms around her. “We talked for hours. It was so easy to be with you. So effortless to talk about the man I wanted to be. You have a way about you, Moira. By the time dessert came, I knew I was in love with you. I wanted you more than I could bear. But, after dinner, I bid you goodnight and headed to my quarters alone.”
“Why?”
“To be frank, our connection scared the hell out of me, and I had no idea if you felt the same. I wanted you to come to me.”
She smiled. “And I did.”
“Thank God for that. I walked to my room, and two men started to follow me. And, thinking of what I’d told you earlier, you followed them. They approached me as I was entering my room and asked to see my identification. Before I could say anything, you marched up behind them and claimed I was Gerard, your secret lover, and to more or less piss off. After they left, you were shocked to realize I hadn’t been lying.”
Another image shaped, and she closed her eyes, letting it come to her. She could see the two hulking men in the narrow hallway, smell the stench of their body odor, the metal of the guns. She heard herself declaring Tanith was her lover, aware of the danger, and her heart pounded just as it must’ve done that very moment.
One man sneered, then grunted for them to move on with their business.
The next image slid into place. Tanith pulling her into his ca
bin and stripping off her clothes. Hushed words, hands on skin, untamed body-to-body possession while they made love for the first time. The scene brought tears to her eyes. “Oh yes, I see it.”
“What do you remember?”
“You made love to me that night.”
“Several times. I couldn’t get enough of you. Which was frightening, considering how many women I’d pushed away in pursuit of my obsession with cave exploration. You blindsided me, but it was exactly what I needed.” He paused for a moment. “We spent one perfect, happy week together. And I knew...I knew you were the one. I wanted to marry you.” She could hear the frown in his tone. “But I still couldn’t let go of my passion for the undiscovered, and I didn’t want to let John down after all we’d been through. I couldn’t let him go by himself, the crazy idiot would’ve done it. Plus, I had the map and couldn’t trust anyone else to bring it to him. So a week after you and I met, I left. I swore I would be back....”
A piercing sensation went through her heart, sharp with paralyzing consequence. She recognized this terrible pain. It was what she experienced when she realized Tanith disappeared without warning, reason, or explanation. With determination, she forced the anguish behind the rest of the emotions waiting to surface.
“I was sent to a parallel universe....” he went on. “Wandering for a very, very long time. I was so lost, confused, alone. But one thing kept me alive. I hung on to the belief I could find a way to go back, and find you again. I became obsessed with it for years. I researched like a madman, doing whatever I could, but ultimately failed over and over. The cave didn’t exist in that world. Just when I thought I would have to give up, I saw you.”
She lifted her head. “How did you know I was real?”
“I didn’t. At first I thought I’d lost my sanity. Two years had gone by. It was the middle of the day, in the middle of an ordinary park, and the rational part of my mind told me it couldn’t be you. So I convinced myself my imagination was playing tricks on me from wanting you so badly.” He brushed a few strands from her cheek, his voice going soft and distant. “But then I kept seeing your face. Once, twice. In that world, you were an artist, painting art in the park. I thought for sure I’d finally gone into madness, so I approached you to see what would happen. Everything I loved about you was there. You were the same.”
Endless Affair (A 1 Night Stand Story) Page 3