Providence (The Velvet Series Book 2)

by Diana Kane

“Yes, it sounds very familiar indeed. I think there were times when I didn’t sleep for days.” He chuckles before enjoying a taste of his margarita. “Can you imagine doing it all over again?”

  “Heavens no! The thought alone is exhausting.” Mateo unleashes a hearty laugh.

  “It is. It took our entire family to start the resort. We were doing everything at first, working the desk, the bar, doing the books, turning over the rooms. We were all exhausted. Like you said though, it grows and evolves with little help sometimes. So are we blessed or have we earned it?” I sip my drink as I consider his question.

  “Both, I think. We certainly worked hard for what we have, so I wouldn’t dismiss it all down to a stroke of luck. At the same time, there has to be a need for what you’re offering, which would be out of your hands.” Mateo smiles.

  “Isabella has told us many things about you. I can see that she speaks the truth. You cannot imagine how much of a relief this is.” Mateo takes a drink as he measures me. “I’m sure she has told you about Esme. I never really cared for her, even when Isabella first brought her home. I could tell that Esme wasn’t what my daughter needed. She was wild, selfish, rude, opportunistic, and even disrespectful at times. Of all the times she was in our home, I can’t recall one occasion where she tried to help Adelita in the kitchen or tried to help clean up after a meal. It’s always the little things that show you who a person truly is. When she spoke she never used us to refer to them as a couple, everything was somehow related to her as an individual. For the longest time, I wondered if Adelita and I had somehow failed as parents. We knew that our children had a more privileged life than most, but we still tried to raise them to be kind, generous, and respectful. We kept asking ourselves how Isabella could be so attracted to someone who didn’t represent any of the values we raised her with. Then Esme betrayed her in one of the worst ways possible and broke my baby girl’s heart. It was hard to be happy that she was out of our lives when Isabella was so broken.” Mateo pauses to take a drink, but I see the glassiness of his eyes. Remembering Isabella that way has nearly brought him to tears. “It took a long time for her to heal and it wasn’t always pretty. I was surprised when she first brought you to the estate, she hadn’t mentioned anyone specific but her mood the few days before that had inexplicably shifted. She was smiling and talking more. I was certainly curious, but didn’t want to spoil it, so I didn’t ask questions. Then she started painting again and brought you to the lagoon a second time, but the next time I saw her she had changed again. I could tell that something was on her mind, so we talked, and she told me about you. Naturally, I was worried for many reasons, worried that she found someone like Esme, that she would have her heart broken again. She’s been a different person since she met you, she’s been euphoric. When she told Adelita and I that she wanted to move so you could be together we supported her decision, but were concerned. What would happen if you were to hurt her? Would we know? Who would take care of her? I’m no longer worried about those things now that I’ve met you.”

  “Thank you, it means a lot hearing that. I love your daughter more than I can explain to you. For what it’s worth, you raised an extraordinary woman who is all of those things you wanted her to be.”

  “Thank you, but the thing we want most is for her to be happy.” He pauses and finishes his drink. “Isabella tells us that you haven’t agreed to her moving yet. Why is that?” I toss back the remainder of my drink and sigh. Mateo stands up and extends his hand, requesting my empty glass. Without a word, he retreats back to the bar and refills our drinks, returning to his seat when his task is complete.

  “Honestly, there is only one thing keeping me from saying yes. I can’t ask her to leave you guys. She has something I’ve never had, that I’ll never have. Now I’ve seen first hand how happy being with all of you makes her. How can I selfishly ask her to give up that part of her life for me, when I can’t even give up my practice and my commitment to my patients for her? It isn’t that I don’t love her. I’ve seen the sadness in her eyes, and it tears me apart. I just keep searching for the perfect solution, and I can’t find it.” Tears stream down my face as I ramble. I don’t bother attempting to conceal them, I’m certain Mateo has figured out how difficult this is for me. Mateo collects a few napkins from behind the bar, and seats himself in the chair next to mine when he returns. I lean forward in my chair, placing my elbows on my knees and resting my forehead on my palms. I let everything out, my frustrations, fears, and anxiety all seep forth from my tear ducts.

  “Sara, life doesn’t have perfect solutions. Choices are always about sacrifice, we can’t have everything.” The sound of the door opening is as loud as a thunderclap in the ensuing silence. Mateo and I both turn to see who it is. Isabella is making her way towards me, her concern evident. She stops when Mateo shakes his head. They exchange words in Spanish, Mateo’s tone staying calm while Isabella becomes increasingly agitated.

  “Sara?” Her eyes and face show nothing but concern when she looks at me.

  “I’m ok. We’re just talking.” Isabella sighs before giving up and retreating back into the house.

  “Isabella told us this has been difficult for you.”

  “I just feel like if I say yes, then I’m being selfish, but if I say no then it will hurt her. I don’t want to hurt her, but my indecision is already doing that.”

  “No one is entirely selfless Sara. Besides, Isabella will be happy if you say yes, which would make it an unselfish decision as well.”

  “You’re ok with your daughter moving thousands of miles away?”

  “I’m ok with my daughter making the decision to be happy. She’s happy with you. Yes, we will miss her, but we don’t see her every day now. It’s easy to take people for granted when you see them all the time. I couldn’t tell you the last time both of my girls, my granddaughters and Hector were all sitting at the table with us. This is a rare occurrence. Everyone has a life, a job, or somewhere else to be. We all made time so that we could meet you, so thank you for that.” Mateo sips from his drink before continuing. “I’ve always known that the day would come when they would leave. When Isabella was planning to move to New York, I wasn’t thrilled. Esme’s true colors had shown long before then. But this, with you, it has our blessing. We want Isabella to be happy, to feel alive again like she has since meeting you.” He smiles at me as he squeezes my shoulder. “Besides, I might get more of these dinners when you visit.” He winks at me after saying it, causing me to smile.

  “Thank you,” I whisper to him. He pulls me in for another of his bear hugs, nearly squeezing the breath out of me.

  “You have to promise to take care of my little girl.”

  “Isabella is good at taking care of herself, but I promise I will.” Mateo laughs.

  “I believe you will. She told us your first gift to her was some art supplies.” I remember the gift but have no idea where this is heading.

  “It was.”

  “You have no idea how much that really meant to her. When she told us about that, I knew she found someone who finally understands her, who had figured out what is important to her and what she needs to thrive.” Hector smiles at me and gently squeezes my shoulder. “You know Isabella can be stubborn. Even if you tell her no, I wouldn’t be surprised if she just shows up one day and gives you her new address.” We both chuckle before turning to our drinks. “Do you want me to send her out to you now?”

  “Actually, I need some time to think. Would you mind if I walked down to the lagoon for a bit?”

  “Not at all. Are you ok to get there on your own?”

  “I am. Thank you, Mateo.”

  “Of course. Grab something to drink from the bar before you go. There are bottles of water back there as well. I’ll make sure Isabella gives you some time.” Mateo chuckles and shakes his head. “She has never spoken to me the way she just did. I think she was ready to club me with something to get to you. I’ll find a way to stall her.” He heads inside as I grab two
bottles of water from behind the bar and make my way to the lagoon.

  Chapter 28

  I sit on the side of the deck and look down at the water, letting it calm me. I pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs as I start the internal debate. I know that I want Isabella with me, there isn’t a doubt in my mind. But does having her family’s blessing change anything? I recall my question to Isabella, my asking her if we tried and she missed her family, could she go back to being long distance. I think about living by video chat, not waking up next to her, having to count the days until we see each other again, working longer days at the office and in the OR so I can carve out time off to see her, everything that I’ve adapted or changed to have her in my life. It’s been worth it, but is that how I want it to be for as long as we’re together? The thoughts swirl through my mind like a tornado as I finish one bottle of water and start the second. Time has lost all meaning as I sit here trying to fit the pieces together.

  “Sara?” Isabella whispers my name, startling me. “I’m sorry I frightened you. I thought you would hear me coming down the stairs.” Isabella sits a bag down near me and kneels at my side. Her fingers gently brush the hair from my face as I turn my face to her, resting my cheek on my knees. “Are you alright? My father wouldn’t let me sit with you earlier.”

  “I am. We were just talking, he was perfectly nice, it was more than civil.” I smile as her eyes examine me, searching for some hidden piece of information that isn’t there. She reaches out and takes the bottle from my hand, I had no idea it was empty. “Can I kiss you?” Her voice sounds more like a plea than a question.

  “Since when do you have to ask?” I feel my brow knit, I have no idea where this is coming from.

  “Since I have no idea what’s happening with us. My father prevents me from seeing you, you’ve been out here for over an hour and all my father would say was you needed space to think.” Isabella is in full on panic mode.

  “We’re fine,” I assure her as I pull my stiff legs down so I can turn to face her. I guess I have been out here for a while, my muscles are letting me know I’ve sit still for too long. I manage to pivot my body to face her, my legs forming a perimeter around her.

  “Am I losing you?” Her voice trembles as she asks the question. I lean forward and pull her to me, our lips finally connecting, Isabella’s kiss teeming with desperation. My fingers repeatedly caress her face, trying to reassure her that she isn’t losing me. I pull away when my fingertips meet moisture, Isabella’s tears finally escaping. I wrap my arms around her and hold her against me, my hand slowly rubbing her back.

  “I love you. Why do you think you’re losing me?”

  “It just felt like it. First, you were upset during dinner, then I see you sobbing while you were talking to my father. He wouldn’t let me talk to you, wouldn’t tell me what had upset you and then he made me leave you out here alone. I’ve been going crazy.” Isabella’s hands clutch my shirt as she squeezes me tightly.

  “Sweetheart, we’re fine. Your father and I had a nice talk. I just needed some time alone to process. I asked him if I could come here to do that. It’s my fault.”

  “I was worried he said something…I don’t know. He never liked Esme. I was afraid he was trying to get rid of you.” I laugh because she has no idea how our conversation went.

  “It was nothing like that. Well except the Esme part. He wanted to know why I couldn’t say yes. We talked. It released a lot of pent up emotions. He gave me his approval.” Isabella pulls back and searches my eyes.

  “He did?”

  “Yeah, he did. Actually both your parents did.” She presses her lips to mine and quickly pulls back.

  “So you came here to think?” I nod before resting my head on her shoulder. “Do you want me to leave you alone? I can go back to the house.”

  “No, stay here with me. I can think later.” Her hand rests on the back of my neck, holding me against her as I cling to two fistfuls of her shirt.

  *****

  “When will we see each other again?” Isabella and I stand outside the airport, locked in a desperate embrace. It’s the Sunday after the holiday, and I must return home, without Isabella.

  “I have another meeting in New York in two weeks. I can come to you after that. I could stay until you come here for Christmas, if you’d like.” Two weeks without Isabella, then we could be together for a month. But what happens after that? There aren’t any other major holidays for months following Christmas and New Year’s Eve. The thought of only seeing her for the occasional long weekend depresses me.

  “What would you like?” I whisper into her shoulder, my voice failing me. Isabella remains silent, her only answer a sniffle she fails to conceal. In all the times we’ve parted, I’ve never seen her cry. I’m aware that she does, she has admitted as much to me, but knowing that it has happened and seeing it happen are two entirely different things. “Isabella,” I manage to utter as I pull away from her shoulder to look at her. The sight of her glassy, reddened eyes causes my heart to falter and my breath to catch. Isabella sighs, a tear slipping out and trailing down her face.

  “That isn’t a fair question, you know what I would like.” I cast my gaze to the ground, unable to see the faint shimmer of hope fade from Isabella’s eyes when I can’t give her the answer she so desperately longs to hear. “It’s ok Sara,” she assures me before pressing her lips to the top of my head. “I did warn you that I wouldn’t stop fighting for it.” I release a soft chuckle before stepping back into her arms.

  “I love you, you know.”

  “I do,” she whispers before squeezing me tightly to her. “Will you message me when you get home?”

  “Of course. I have to get going though.” Isabella’s arms constrict around me, refusing to relinquish their hold.

  “I already miss you,” she murmurs, the sadness heavy in her voice.

  “Me too,” I whisper, leaning back to kiss her. “I’ll talk to you in a few hours,” I promise as I rest my forehead against hers, stealing a few extra seconds of closeness until I have to walk away from her. I walk towards the entrance determined to hold back my tears until I’ve completed my check in. I turn back when the automatic doors slide open and steal a glance at Isabella to find her openly crying, not bothering to attempt to hide her grief. The sight of her in such a state stripping away yet another layer of my resolve and tearing out a chunk of my heart.

  Chapter 29

  Two weeks has never felt more like a lifetime. These two weeks feel longer than the entire summer vacation I spent in a cast, my seven-year-old self sulking around, unable to participate in swimming, baseball, basketball and a litany of other activities while healing from my broken ulna. Weeks during which I find myself struggling to get out of bed, make it through my usual morning workouts, enjoy Sunday brunch, or pretty much anything else in life. I feel lethargic and unable to shake the shroud of perpetual sadness that clings to me. Insomnia makes the lonely nights feel infinitely longer and my empty bed three times as large. I’ve never felt this low after a breakup, only Isabella and I haven’t broken up, we’re simply separated by 2,000 miles and the haunting memory of Isabella’s heartbreaking visage as I entered the airport.

  “What’s gotten into you lately,” Catherine asks as we sip our coffee while we wait for our first cases of the day to get started. I stare mutely out the window, absorbing the city’s familiar skyline as I try to articulate everything on my mind. “Does it have to do with Isabella?”

  “In a nutshell,” I answer and nod, knowing Catherine will expect elaboration.

  “Please tell me you didn’t end it.”

  “I didn’t. I don’t think I ever could. I just wish I could get over my hangup about her being away from her family.” I continue staring out the window, wishing Abby would hurry up and text me, longing for the distraction of operating, anything to erase the memory of the sorrow etched on Isabella’s features the last time I saw her in person. “The look on her face…so mu
ch sadness…knowing that I caused it…” I shake my head as I continue staring out the window, Catherine’s arm now wrapped around my shoulders providing little comfort.

  “So you’re this despondent because Isabella was upset?”

  “It isn’t that simple. We were together for weeks. I know what that feels like now. This will sound cliched, but I don’t know how else to phrase it. I feel like a part of me is missing without her here.” I release a half-hearted chuckle before shaking my head and looking over at Catherine. “Listen to how absurd I sound,” I mutter, more to myself than Catherine.

  “You know I think you’re mad for not saying yes already.” Catherine sighs as my phone goes off, I know it will be Abby letting me know they’re ready. “Think about how many people you know that actually still live within 20 miles of their parents. The world didn’t end simply because they relocated. I know you lost both of your parents when you were young, but you won’t prevent Isabella from going through that in the future simply because you don’t agree to her moving here. Besides, Isabella is a determined woman, she may suffer through this for the time being, but she knows what she wants. There will come a day when she’ll just show up here and tell you it’s settled. You won’t be able to stop her.”