The Road To Avea

by Lynn Lorenz

Sitting on the blanket, Rolf and Lucy feasted on chicken, cold water, cheese and a round of bread. When they had eaten their fill, they stretched out on the blanket side-by-side, napping in the autumn sunlight.

  Rolf woke and watched Luci as she slept. He couldn't believe he was there beside her. He rolled onto his side, propped himself up on his elbow, and tickled her nose with a long grass leaf. She swatted at it, her eyes closed. He teased her again with the leaf. She slapped her hand to her cheek.

  "Rolf!" She sat up and laughed. "You beast!" She took him by the face and kissed him, then pulled him down on top of her.

  "Your beast, always." His grin was wolfish and hungry. Tickling her sides, he tried to steal kisses from her.

  She sobered and sat up. "We're here to get to know each other, Rolf, not to become entangled. Again."

  "I like being entangled with you." He gave a great sigh and sat up, crossed his legs, and tried to look very serious. "What do you want to know about me?" Reaching out, he touched her nose with a long blade of grass.

  "Well, have you ever been in love before?"

  Rolf looked away and then back at her. "I was betrothed. She was very beautiful. But it was a long time ago."

  "What happened?"

  "I was bitten. When she found out, she broke it off and married another man."

  "I'm so sorry, Rolf." Luci reached out to touch his hand.

  "For the best, I suppose. At the time, I thought our love could see us through. But the horror in her eyes when I told her..." He shook his head. "I still remember that look. I knew then her love for me wasn't strong enough to face that danger."

  "Then she did not truly love you." Luci grabbed his hand. "If she had, it shouldn't have mattered."

  "I asked her to face it with me, Luci. It was too much to ask any woman." He shook his head. Looking up from under his eyebrows, he searched her face. "Even you."

  "I'm not just any woman, Rolf. And certainly not afraid of a wolf." She dusted off some imaginary speck of fluff on her skirt.

  "I can't subject you to my shame." Rolf looked into the woods.

  "There's more than enough shame to go around, Rolf." Her voice dropped to a whisper.

  He turned back to her, question in his eyes.

  Luci raised her chin and looked him in the face. "I'm no stranger to shame."

  "What are you talking about?" He took her hand in his.

  "If we're to be together, then we must be honest. You must make an informed decision about me, just as I must make one about you." She seemed to gather her courage and plunged ahead. "When I was eighteen, I fell in love. I was naïve. He was older, a titled lord, and experienced in the ways of romance." Dropping his hand, she stood and walked away. He rose to follow, but after taking a step forward, he stopped, and let her wander, thinking it best to give her room.

  "He seduced me. I gave myself to him." It was a whisper. Her face was a mixture of sadness and shame. "I wish that it weren't so, but it is. I am compromised...ruined."

  She paused to look at his face. His eyes never left her as he ran his hand through his hair, but he didn't speak.

  "I'll understand if you don't want me now, Rolf, if I've shocked and disappointed you." She walked to the pony and stood next to it, her fingers straightening its long mane.

  At last, he found his voice. "Why didn't you marry him?

  "He had asked me to marry him. I was so happy. When he spoke of his love and his desire, his tender words swayed me to consummate our love before our marriage. He returned to his estate, telling me he had business to attend to and he would soon return for me. I received a letter a week later, breaking it off, saying I was not the kind of woman he wanted for his wife or as the mother of his children."

  She took a deep breath and let it out raggedly. "I realized he had used me and never had any intention of marrying me. I was so hurt and ashamed. I told my parents I broke it off. My father was furious with me."

  "You never told your father of this bastard's behavior?" Rolf approached her, hands fisted, furious at the man. He wanted to tear him apart, then realized it was long ago and there was no point in revenge. He could still be angry, though.

  "No, I saw no need to add that shame to their disappointment of me. Not even Sarah knows." She leaned against the pony and rested her forehead against its neck.

  "You didn't have to tell me this, Luci." He reached out to her and touched her shoulder.

  She turned to him. "I couldn't come to your bed, pretending I was some blushing bride. You deserve better than lies and deception." She tilted her head in his direction. "How old are you, Rolf?"

  "Forty-one, this year."

  "I'm thirty. Many men have courted me since that time and all were anxious to bed me, which I refused. I've rejected several offers of marriage to men I cared nothing for but who offered me wealth, lands and great houses. I have no need or desire for those things. I have jewels and clothes aplenty, even too much if you ask Sarah." She took his hand in hers. "What I don't have is someone who loves me and who needs me desperately, despite my faults and failures as a woman. Someone I love and need desperately." Her emerald eyes looked into his, searching.

  Rolf swallowed hard. "And do you see that in me?"

  "That and so much more. I'm lost in your depths." Her eyes filled with tears. "And now, I fear I'll never know those depths." The tears spilled down her cheeks, red with shame.

  Taking her hand and placing it on his chest, Rolf spilled his heart. "The first moment I saw you, I wondered who our children would favor, your red hair or my blond. My second thought was that you would never take me. I have nothing to offer you, Luci, and most certainly not wealth. The station is my only home, and I'm ten years your senior."

  Green eyes searched his blue eyes as he spoke.

  "As a young man I bedded some women who were paid for their time. I have even, on rare occasion, taken what some generous wench offered me, knowing I would not be there in the morning, or could not offer her my heart in return. I can't stand here, knowing my own past is not spotless and condemn you for falling to another man's false promises." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

  "I care nothing about your past," he continued. "I do desperately need you and want you. Of that, I am certain. That I would love you for a lifetime, you can have no doubt. But, Luci, I'm cursed and it is terrible. How can I ask you to live that life with me? If I ever harmed you, I would kill myself."

  "And yet?" Her eyes held such hope.

  "And yet this is the happiest I've been since I took my oath eighteen years ago. It is a feeling I could grow very used to, Luci, this happiness. I've thought hard about this. I'm sorry, however, I can't ask you to be with me. It's too selfish. It's too dangerous." He stood and walked away from her. There, he'd done it. Told her his feelings and asked for her understanding of why he couldn't be with her. It was the right thing to do, he knew. But, by the One God, it hurt.

  "Suppose you let me choose what is too dangerous for me? I'm a grown woman, Rolf Creel, apart from my family and no longer under my father's guidance, much to his dislike." She went to him and took his hand. "I propose a proper courtship. We will write and see each other occasionally. Then, say, at Holy Day, we'll decide what is to be done about our situation."

  He took her hands in his. "Are you hoping time and distance will dull our feelings?"

  "I'm hoping time and distance will drive you mad with not having me by you, and you'll come to your senses." She laughed. "What say you about my plan?"

  "It's fair enough." He pulled her to him and sealed it with a kiss.

  She stepped away from him, went back to the blanket, and began to pack up the picnic basket. "We should be getting back. Tonight, I'll spend the rest of my time with Sarah since I leave in the morning. Will you take me to Chester to meet the coach?"

  "Aye, I'll take you there." Holding her face in his hands, he wiped the last of her tears away with his thumbs. "Don't fret, Luci. I want you for mine. If there's a way, we'll find it, I'm
sure."

  She threw her arms around his neck.

  "You are my beast, Rolf, and no other's! And I am yours!"

  With a great laugh, he swung her in circles until, too dizzy to stand, they fell.

  For a time, they lay in the grass and just held each other. Rolf couldn't believe he had found his match. But, he had, at last. And she was so much more than he'd ever hoped for. Beautiful, yes, but brave, too. She'd make a fine wife for a humble inspector.

  Reminding himself that he must take the time to decide, he pushed the hasty decision to have her as his away. He was sure, no matter how much time passed, or whether he married her or not, he would always be in love with her.

  The afternoon was fading. With a sigh of regret, Rolf got to his feet, caught the pony, and harnessed it. They climbed into the carriage and made their way back to the castle, as Luci rested in Rolf's arms.

  Chapter 19

  Sarah curled up in the chair in front of the fireplace and watched as Luci packed her carpetbag for her departure in the morning.

  "I'm going to miss you, Luci."

  "I'll miss you, too. Thank you for bringing me here to meet Rolf." She folded a skirt and placed it in the bag.

  "I hope it works out between you two. One of us should be happy, at least." Sarah sighed.

  Luci looked up at her friend. "Rolf has many things to think about. He's convinced himself those three damn days each month control his entire life or that they matter to me."

  "It's how he's lived for years. It's what he's judged his life by all this time. And what others have judged him by, too."

  "I know. It's hard to break old habits and old ways of thinking. I was just hoping that love would conquer all." She shrugged. "We'll write, and he's promised to visit me in Avea."

  "That's fair. Take it slowly."

  Luci stuffed her nightgown into the bag with vehemence. "I don't want to take it slowly!"

  "Of course not. You want what you want." Sarah giggled.

  "Don't turn my own words against me, dearest. It's not attractive."

  "Rolf is good for you. He stands up to you and won't let you get your way. You need that in a man, Luci. Admit it."

  Luci's expression turned dreamy. "All I know is I need him desperately. If he turns me down, I'll just die." She gritted her teeth. "If he does, I hope he burns for me every single night and his hand grows numb from overuse."

  Sarah laughed. "I'm sure he will. I can see his love for you; it shows in his eyes when he looks at you."

  Luci walked to the dresser and gathered up her brush and comb. "Don't give up on your inspector, Sarah. Men are like children. They can be difficult until we teach them how to behave. Inspector Bane just needs to be taught a thing or two."

  Sarah blinked. "A thing or two? What things?"

  Luci held up her finger. "Well, for one, that he can't live without you. Two"--another finger joined the first--"that you're not going to just sit around waiting for him." A third finger stood tall. "Oh, and three, that he'll never find anyone as wonderful as you."

  "Honestly, Luci, you're the best thing for my ego." She laughed, then sobered. "No, it's over. Stefan fooled me once. I'm not giving him the opportunity to hurt me again. He lied to me about those women and treated me like I was an idiot." She shook her head. "I just need to move on, stick to my original plan to stay away from men, and concentrate on my career."

  "Right. You're just going to ignore the only man you've ever fallen in love with, while you work with him every day, in the same castle, and practically on the same hall." Luci snapped the bag shut and sat back on the bed.

  "Yes, I have to. There is no other choice, is there? I've given it a lot of thought and my options are to stay here and suffer through it, transfer to another station, or resign my commission."

  "Hopefully, it won't come to that."

  Sarah frowned and looked unsure. "Stefan doesn't want me; he's made that clear. It's my problem and I have to deal with it."

  "Deal with it? What do you mean?" Luci's eyebrows furrowed.

  "That means, to stop whining about it, face the truth, and move on." Sarah punched a pillow.

  "Dearest, you've just had your heart broken. Do you really think you can just pretend it didn't happen? That suddenly you don't love him anymore?"

  Sarah bit her bottom lip and wrapped her arms around her knees. "No, I don't think I'll ever get over him, Luci." She stared at the fire.

  Luci climbed off the bed and sat in the other chair. "I like this place, Sarah. I could be happy here with Rolf. But only if you were here, too." She reached out her hand and patted Sarah's knee.

  "I can't promise that. It hurts so badly. All I want to do is run away...go some place where it won't hurt anymore. But there's no place like that, is there?"

  "No, dearest. Not that I've ever found." Luci shook her head and joined Sarah in watching the flames of the fire.

  * * * *

  Stefan sat on the bench, head back. A broad-brimmed hat covered his face and he'd pulled his long hair back in a tail tucked down the back of his grey jacket. His hands rested on the legs of his worn tan breeches. A tankard sat next to him. To the people in the tavern, he looked like someone sleeping off too much ale.

  "He's got huge power, I tell you," the woman's silky voice whispered. "And he wants to share it."

  Stefan's ears pricked. After picking up her trail in Chester that afternoon, he'd followed Cordelia Waterford to the tavern where she was staying in Reynold's Grange. Staking out his seat, he'd ordered the ale and waited for her to return downstairs from her room.

  If he knew Cordelia, and he did, she'd be the one recruiting new members of the Sorcerer's clan. She had few talents except the skill of using her body to attract men.

  Right now, the young man she had approached looked enthralled by her beauty and her promises of power, wealth, majik, and herself, for joining. Stefan had heard it all before--and believed it, when he was younger--from those same full, perfect lips. Too bad the heart behind the beauty was tainted and twisted, exposed for so long to evil.

  "There are certain benefits to being in his clan."

  "Can see that." By the tone of his voice, the man had hopes of more than just power. "Have a room? Let's go there and discuss the benefits."

  The young man was worldlier than Stefan thought. Perhaps, he would not be so easily tempted.

  "Aye, that would be a good idea."

  The scrape of wooden legs on the floor told Stefan they'd stood up and were leaving. He waited a few minutes, then pushed his hat back on his head and, blinking, looked around him, as if wondering where the hell he was.

  Looking down at his tankard, he frowned, picked it up, and staggered over to the bar. "Nother ale, keep." He placed the tankard and a silver coin on the bar.

  The man took both and filled the tankard from the tap.

  "Where's the pisser?" Stefan scratched his crotch.

  With a jerk of his head, the bar-keep indicated the side of the room, under the stairs. Stefan nodded and headed that way, carefully weaving between the tables and chairs, only bumping into a few people.

  When he reached the stairs, he looked back at the room. While the keep was distracted serving someone, Stefan slipped up the stairs.

  The hallway was dark. Only one of the lanterns hanging on the wall was lit. There were six doors, three on each side. Stefan moved soundlessly down the hall, pausing at each door to listen.

  At the last door on the right, he heard her voice. Stepping back to the next door, he pulled out his wand. Calling his majik, he sent a small energy bolt arcing from his wand to the simple lock. He opened the door and stepped inside.

  The room was dark and empty, except for a single bed next to a closed, bare window. He moved to the wall sharing Cordelia's room and leaned his ear against it.

  Muffled noises were all he heard. Reaching into his jacket, he brought out a glass tube. He held it up, flicked it with his finger, and it began to vibrate.

  Stefan put it
against the wall and pressed his ear to the gently vibrating glass. At first, the glass tickled, but a second later, the sensation stopped and Cordelia's voice was so clear it was like being in the same room.

  "Want this?"

  "Aye, I want it."

  Stefan could almost hear the man lick his lips in anticipation. He heard the creak of the bed as the man sat, followed by the sound of his breeches being lowered.

  "Careful now." He sounded excited.

  Why shouldn't he be excited? Like a serpent, Cordelia was beautiful and poisonous.

  "Don't worry, my pet," she assured him.

  The bed creaked again.

  "No. Use your mouth."

  Stefan's eyebrow shot up. Worldly, indeed. Perhaps the man was older than he sounded. He was definitely more experienced. The bed squeaked again. Stefan heard the shuffle of her feet and the rustle of her skirts as she knelt.

  "You've got more than most men, pet." It sounded as if she appreciated the difference or perhaps she was merely lying to flatter him.

  "Damn right. Take it all?"

  "I'm certainly going to try."

  Stefan snorted. He had no illusions about Cordelia. She was the worst kind of whore, selling herself not for money to live on, but for an illusion of power and some perverse attachment to the Sorcerer. For him, she'd do anything, even, if Stefan's suspicions were right, murder her own brother to take his place at the Sorcerer's side.

  The thought of being with Cordelia twisted his gut. Or was it the thought of being with any woman other than Sarah?

  A moment passed and then there was a soft moan. She must have taken him in her mouth. Swallowing, Stefan adjusted his ear to the hearing glass and kept listening, hoping to hear something that would lead him to the Sorcerer. If he was lucky, Cordelia would take the man to him tonight, and Stefan could follow and learn where he was hiding.

  Instead, he listened as Cordelia Waterford gave this young man a blower. From the sounds the man was making, she was damn good at it.

  "Suck me deeper."

  Stefan could hear the wet noises her mouth made as she slid up and down on his staff. To his dismay, his own staff stiffened in response.