Into the Mystic, Volume One

by Tay LaRoi

  It obviously hadn’t worked.

  Robbin’s touch was caring as she pulled away the bandage Simone had just put on—too caring; Simone would have rather it hurt, that would have been simpler. Robbin grimaced as she examined the bite—her handiwork, Simone reminded herself, struggling to keep those walls she’d spent a month erecting. “I’m so sorry.”

  Simone couldn’t deal with that right then, couldn’t face an apology or see the regret in Robbin’s eyes. She couldn’t let her mind go back to that moment. Instead she asked, “Why do I keep doing what you say without thinking about it?”

  “Because I’m the alpha,” Robbin said as if that wasn’t a confusing statement.

  “You know I’ve never been in to BDSM. What do you mean you’re the alpha?”

  “I’m the leader of the pack. Well, we consider ourselves a pack; the other packs in the area just think we’re mongrels and misfits. Whatever we are, I’m the alpha. The others in the pack have to obey a Command if I give it.” Robbin released Simone’s arm and returned to the bed to sit down. “I was hoping, really, truly hoping, that you could tell me to go fuck myself and leave that door closed.”

  “You came a long way just to hope to be turned away,” Simone said dryly.

  “It would mean that you would be spared…this. If it meant you never speaking to me again, I would have happily endured that.”

  Simone wanted to say, Don’t worry, I’m never speaking to you again anyway, but the distress on Robbin’s face made her hold her tongue. Besides, there were greater implications to Robbin’s words.

  “So you’re telling me that I’m going to…that I’m—” She couldn’t bring herself to say it, though the fear had been with her since not long after the bite, when she replayed the events in her head a thousand times as she drove as far from the Massachusetts city she’d called home for most of her life as she could.

  “That you’re a werewolf.” Robbin managed to say something utterly insane with a straight face. “Or you will be, after tonight.”

  Simone laughed, the sound bordering on hysterical. “What am I supposed to say to that, Robbin? How the fuck am I supposed to handle the fact that I’m becoming…that I’m becoming that, and it’s all your fault? It wasn’t some random stranger who did this to me, it was my girlfriend. And on my birthday!”

  “I never wanted this to happen,” Robbin buried her face in her hands, elbows resting on her legs. “You weren’t supposed to be there. You were never supposed to be in danger!”

  “Are you saying it’s my fault?”

  “Of course not! But—damn it, Simone, why did you follow me?”

  “Because I thought you were cheating on me!” Simone cried, coming to her feet so fast she knocked the ugly chair over. “Because I needed to see what was so important that you would blow me off on my birthday!”

  Robbin stared at her, shocked. “You thought I was cheating on you?” She crossed the room in two swift steps, taking Simone’s shoulders and gripping them tightly, not letting Simone squirm away. “Look at me, Simone. Please.” She didn’t use the Command, which might be what made Simone look up into those intense yellow-green eyes—eyes she’d seen looking at her through the face of a wolf. Simone had always been able to read Robbin fairly easily, and that moment was no different. She saw sorrow and sincerity, and a real need for Simone to understand her words.

  “There is nothing in the world more important to me than you. Not even my pack. That’s why I hid this from you. I was afraid that if you knew about me you’d leave me, and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. I also thought that by keeping you out of it, you would be protected.”

  “Because you turn into a dangerous, crazed monster,” Simone insisted, not ungently, breaking Robbin’s grip on her shoulders and stepping back. She needed to put some distance between the two of them; Robbin’s scent was slowly invading her senses, evoking memories she thought were better left forgotten. “And now I will too.”

  Robbin shook her head vehemently. “No, it’s not like that. You won’t usually be dangerous. It’s just the full moon’s influence. Unlike the stories say, you will be able to change whenever you want—as long as it’s night; I don’t know why, but we can’t shift or maintain our shifted form in the daytime. The full moon, though, robs you of the choice. It forces a shift—and that’s why it hurts. Usually we shift just before the moon can force us—allowing us to avoid the pain. Unfortunately, I was running late that night and barely got out of the car before the change started to hit me. When you’re forced to change the pain overwhelms everything for a few minutes afterward. Another minute and I would have known you for you and never would have attacked you. I didn’t even realize I had until you screamed. It drew me from the pain haze. Just a split second in time I wish with all my heart I could take back.”

  “Well you can’t.” Simone turned to straighten up the chair she’d knocked over so Robbin couldn’t see the tears that filled her eyes. After the bite, she’d just driven off, not wanting to be anywhere near Robbin, especially not close enough to have this conversation, even though it was a much-needed one. “I wish I hadn’t followed you, but I did. We can’t change the past, Robbin. Funny, since the past can change the future. Is that why you came? Did you drive this far—”

  “Well, I didn’t drive,” Robbin interrupted.

  “—just to—what? Did you come here that way?”

  Robbin nodded. “Carried this backpack with me in my mouth as I ran. Figured you wouldn’t want me showing up at your motel naked. Although, there was a time you would have loved that idea.”

  “I hope you didn’t come here to apologize.”

  Robbin snorted. “I know that won’t do me a damn bit of good. There’s not enough words in the English language to express my regret, and even if there were, it wouldn’t change things, like you said.”

  “Then why are you here?”

  “I’m here to help you. Tomorrow is the full moon.”

  Simone repressed a shudder. When she spoke her voice was unsteady. “I know.”

  “You’re going to undergo your first change, and it’s not going to be pretty. You need someone with you who has been through it to help you.”

  The idea of spending any time with Robbin, especially with a full moon coming up, scared the hell out of Simone. Even more frightening, however, was the thought of being alone through what was apparently going to be an agonizing process. But did she really want to spend her time with the person who caused this mess to begin with?

  Robbin could read Simone just as well as Simone could read her, and she probably saw the doubt and distrust in Simone’s face. “Just let me see you through this, Simone. When it’s done and you understand more, you’ll never have to see me again, if that’s what you want.”

  Simone gave a jerky nod. “Fine.”

  Robbin’s relief was palpable. “Good. Tomorrow we’ll relocate. I found a pretty isolated cabin for rent not far from here and reserved it. There shouldn’t be anyone around to hear you, so no one around to potentially harm. We’ll head there first thing in the morning. If we leave early, we should get there by sunset.”

  “So we’re here until morning?” Robbin nodded. Simone strolled to the door and tugged it open. “Good. You can sleep outside.”

  Robbin blinked, caught off guard by the sudden eviction. “Are you serious?”

  “You’ve been traveling by night this whole time, right? You should have no trouble sleeping outside.”

  “It’s the end of fall! The nights are fucking cold!”

  “You can turn into a big furry creature. You’ll be all right.”

  There was defiance in Robbin’s eyes, and for a moment, Simone wondered if Robbin would use her alpha Command thing to order her to let her sleep inside. What she did not expect was Robbin to tug her shirt over her head and then reach for her belt.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  “If you want me to sleep outside, it’s got to be in wolf form,” R
obbin explained, shucking her pants and standing there in only a bra and a pair of lacy underwear in bright red—her favorite color for underwear. “I’m not stripping down outside, so I’ll do it in here.”

  When Robbin slid her fingers beneath the waistband of her panties and started to slide them down, part of Simone—the horny part, obviously—wanted to let her do so, but the more reasonable part was in charge. For the moment.

  “Fine,” she huffed before Robbin could reveal more of her body. A body that Simone was intimately familiar with. “You can sleep inside.” She grabbed the scratchy bedspread and one of the pillows off the bed and shoved them at Robbin. “But you’re sleeping in the bathtub.”

  Four

  The six AM wake-up call she received served no purpose; Simone hadn’t slept more than an hour through the night. There was too much on her mind, and just a stone’s throw away, separated by a cheap, thin door was the woman who had been the love of her life.

  Simone had become conflicted, her earlier anger melting into confusion. This was why she tried her best to stay away from Robbin; things were never clear with her around. Memories surfaced that much easier.

  The first time Robbin slept over at Simone’s apartment, Simone was so nervous that something was going to happen that she acted really weird until bedtime, even prompting Robbin to ask her if she should go. Simone had gotten her act together after that, but it had been difficult.

  The first trip they ever took together, a long drive to Florida to go to Disneyworld, Robbin had been accommodating and agreed to not fly because Simone was terrified of airplanes. They had a great time on the ride, singing songs from their childhood and just enjoying each other’s company.

  There was a myriad of other memories, small moments like quiet nights spent at home, and big moments like the first time they said I love you. Each one of them was like a dagger in Simone’s heart.

  When the wake-up call came, the phone rang once before Simone picked it up. Despite the lack of sleep—and the strange feeling building inside her, knowing what loomed ahead of her at the end of the day—she was eager to get started; anything to escape the shadows of memory that stalked her all night.

  The bathroom door opened as Simone was getting out of bed, Robbin emerging into the room and looking like she had a great night’s sleep even though she slept in the bathtub. “Good morning.” Her voice was perky and cheerful, as it always was in the morning. Simone had never understood how Robbin could be such a morning person, especially given what she now knew about Robbin’s nighttime proclivities.

  “Don’t know what’s good about it,” Simone grumbled. She grabbed her bag from where it sat on the floor and changed into a new shirt, stuffing the old one inside it. She needed to find a laundromat soon; she was on her last shirt, and it was her least favorite, an ugly paisley pattern that her mother insisted would look good on her. The woman didn’t understand that paisley didn’t look good on anyone.

  “You never have been a morning person.” Robbin crossed to the beat-up excuse of a coffeemaker the motel room provided and put it to work. “Don’t worry, you’ll have some coffee to get you up and running in no time.”

  “I don’t want any coffee.” Simone snapped, but they both knew that was a lie. It was impossible for Simone to start a day without coffee. Thankfully Robbin didn’t say anything else as the coffee brewed, just handed the first mugful to Simone.

  “I’ll go put my bag in the car,” Robbin said as Simone sipped the bitter nectar of the gods.

  Simone didn’t want to ride in the same car with Robbin; being trapped in a small metal box with the woman who bit her a month ago was not her idea of fun. Today’s starting off really awkward, Simone thought. And it’s only going to get worse from here.

  They drove for the first two hours in silence, except for Robbin instructing Simone on which direction to go when they left the motel. Simone was excruciatingly aware of Robbin’s presence in the passenger seat. Every minor movement on her part threatened to draw Simone’s gaze, and it took every ounce of her willpower to keep her eyes on the road. Robbin always did have that effect on her; something about her just drew Simone in—the strawberry-blonde locks that fell in a heap of curls to her shoulders, the full lips, the slender waist that made the curve of her breasts that much more accented.

  Simone felt a stab of self-consciousness about her own appearance. The white of the bandage on her arm stood out starkly against the brown of her skin. She kept her hair natural, preferring not to treat it with relaxers or hot irons, but after so much time on the road she feared it now looked unkempt.

  It finally reached the point where Simone felt as if the silence was pressing in on her from all sides, and she was desperate to break it, even if it meant talking to Robbin. “So you have a pack.”

  Robbin startled at the question; she seemed fully prepared to ride the entire way in silence. She nodded.

  “Michelle and the others?”

  “Yeah, that’s them. My pack.”

  “Did you bite them all too?” Simone’s voice was heavy with bitterness—and though she did not wish to acknowledge it, a bit of jealousy, as well.

  If Robbin noticed the latter she was wise enough not to comment on it. “No, I didn’t bite them. Michelle was part of the same pack I was in originally and joined me when I left it. The others found their way to me afterward.”

  “You were in another pack? Why did you leave it?”

  Robbin’s face darkened, but she shook her head. “That’s not only my story to tell, Simone. Sorry. Turn here.”

  Simone’s curiosity was piqued, but she didn’t push the matter further. Robbin would never share information that she thought was not hers to share. It was part of what made her good at her job in private security.

  “Michelle, Yuu, Heagan, and Dru? Is that all?”

  Robbin nodded. “I told you some other packs don’t much consider us a pack, just five wolves. You should take the next exit.”

  Simone navigated the car into the exit lane. That early in the day there was precious little traffic and they were making good time. Simone could almost imagine that the events of the last month never happened and she was just enjoying a drive through pleasant country with Robbin.

  Until she looked at the bandage on her arm.

  She finally gave in and glanced at her passenger: long, lean legs crossed casually, arms resting across her stomach beneath the swell of her breasts. The sun itself seemed to be conspiring against Simone, shining down on Robbin and casting her long-nosed profile in a nimbus of light. There was no denying that Robbin was a beautiful woman. Simone always felt lucky to be with her, like she’d won some sort of prize drawing from the universe, entirely by chance and without merit. There was no way her karma was good enough to earn that.

  As she veered to the right to take the exit, her eyes landed on the edge of the bandage on her arm, and the positive feelings vanished like smoke. She wasn’t on some romantic getaway with her girlfriend; she was riding in the car with a dangerous monster to find a place to hide for when she herself became a dangerous monster—which was all thanks to the woman next to her.

  That was what she needed—to hold on to the anger building in her. It was the only way to shield herself from Robbin. She forced herself to think of the normal life that had been ripped away from her: the job, the friends and family she could no longer see because she was afraid of hurting them.

  The loss that hurt most of all, though, was the loss of her relationship with Robbin. But what relationship was there, really? Robbin lied to her through the entirety of it, concealing this major secret. Didn’t a relationship need to be built on trust and honesty?

  “You’re grinding your teeth,” Robbin said, drawing Simone from her rapidly darkening thoughts. “What are you thinking about?”

  Simone wanted to laugh. That’s dangerous territory. “How long have you been…like this?”

  “‘Like this?’ You sound like a parent who just found out their child i
s gay and can’t bring themselves to say it.” Though Robbin’s tone was lighthearted, there were real barbs behind the comment. Simone touched a sore spot with that one. “How long have I been a werewolf, you mean? Since I was eighteen.”

  Simone let out a low whistle. “So young,” she murmured. The ice around her heart thawed a little bit at the thought of Robbin at such a young and innocent age going through this torment. “Was yours an accident as well?”

  Robbin tensed perceptibly, her hands tightening into fists. “Oh, no, the person who did this to me did it quite knowingly.”

  “Someone did this to you on purpose?” Simone couldn’t imagine what kind of person could willingly inflict such pain on another person.

  “Worse than that,” Robbin said, voice now monotone. “I volunteered for it.”

  Simone nearly swerved into a passing car as she whipped her head to look at Robbin in shock. “You—I can’t even—you asked for this? Why?”

  Robbin didn’t speak for several long minutes, the only sound the rush of passing cars and the tires on the pavement of the road. “I told you that I grew up on the streets, right? The alpha of this pack took me in, treated me kindly when no one else would. He convinced me it was best for me. He offered me something I’d never had—a pack, a family. Really he just wanted an army.”

  Robbin’s body language made it clear she’d said all she wanted to say on the matter for now, and Simone wasn’t certain she wanted to hear more, anyway. The two lapsed into a slightly less awkward silence than before.

  They drove through a small town and Robbin insisted that Simone stop at a grocery store they passed. When she emerged from the store fifteen minutes later, she was carrying three sacks of raw meat and a fourth sack of high-carb snacks.

  “Do I want to know what that’s for?”