The Sin of Moloch

by Andrew Gordinier

  “Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor, and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there--on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

  The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

  Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

  The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.”

  John waited for a moment before speaking. “Tomorrow, we will assign you all to teams of three. A soldier, a scientist, and a mage. Then in a week, we will begin sending you out to explore. You are our scouts and pathfinders, you will lead the way. Marking the dangers to be avoided, and the wonders to be seen, opening the way for a new era of exploration.” John had more to say but stopped there, he had learned over the last few months these people respected actions, not words.

  “I want baby pictures first!” Yvonne said with a smile after ordering her drink. Radha unlocked her phone and pulled up pictures of Owen.

  “I still say the poor guy has John’s nose.” Deanna teased.

  “I think he’s adorable!” Yvonne flipped through the pictures with a smile on her face.

  “Next time, you should come out and visit us, so you can meet Mr adorable in person.” Radha said with pride.

  “Are you sure John can handle it?” Yvonne said with a laugh.

  “We did kind of beat him up after the baby shower.” Deanna admitted.

  “And, when you guys had that party before moving to Geneva.” Yvonne giggled.

  “John doesn’t mind.” Radha lied. “Besides, it builds character.” They all laughed for a few moments.

  “Yvonne, what is the deal with school?” Asked Deanna bluntly.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You are switching majors more often than I switch boyfriends.”

  “You’ve been dating the same man for almost two years.” Radha pointed out.

  “That’s an ugly lie! Yvonne, you started off getting a business major, then it was teaching, and now it’s…?” Deanna waited for an answer.

  “Psychology,” Yvonne said firmly.

  “Is that your final answer?” asked Deanna with a smile.

  “It is.” Yvonne said as she sipped her drink.

  “Why psychology?” Asked Radha.

  “I’ve been through so much.” Yvonne said quietly. “I thought I was going to die, I thought I was never going to have a chance to live anything other than pain and suffering. Now that I have my life back, now that I feel like I can live again, I want to help others. I don’t want to see people suffer alone like I did.”

  “Wow.” Deanna said, clearly impressed.

  “I think you’ll be an amazing therapist!” Radha said with a smile.

  “I hope so, but I still have a long way to go with school.” Yvonne turned the questioning back to Deanna. “And what about you? What are they calling your ever so mysterious position now?”

  Deanna laughed. “I’m not allowed to have business cards, but my job title is ‘Head of Theoretical and Practical Magical Research.’ That is if they ever actually build the damn school. I have like ten people working for me, and we’re working out of an empty warehouse near the docks.”

  “You’re a department head? In a school for mages?” Yvonne said, pretending to be shocked.

  “Yeah, I know. And it really pisses them off that I’m not a mage! Speaking of…” Deanna turned to Radha. “Now that you have married your never-rescued-anyone prince, and brought a child into this world. One that is shockingly cute, despite the fact that he has John's nose. What are your plans?”

  “I’m job hunting for an HR position. Nothing exciting.” Radha said simply.

  “No more kids?” Asked Yvonne.

  Radha smiled like a cat with a secret.

  The cafeteria was not exactly luxurious looking. But, there was an extensive buffet, table cloths, and there was some classical music on the PA system. It could have felt fake and looked like a bad joke, but everyone in attendance was laughing and having a good time. John had unexpectedly become the happy center of attention by bringing Owen to a secret military installation. There was a constant crowd around him, offering jokes and chatting with him. It was clear that his lie about the babysitter didn’t go far; people asked with knowing smiles if he had forgotten till the last moment.

  “How are you doing, John?” Augie asked as he smiled at Owen.

  “Faking it, as always.” John confessed with a smile.

  “Yes, but and you have done surprisingly well here.”

  “So, have you. I half expected you to accept that position on the council when Conrad offered it to you.” John switched Owen to his other arm and was starting to wonder if he needed a clean diaper.

  “I have always been more attracted to the wilderness, to the unexplored and dangerous. Places where survival is a skill, not an assumption.” Augie paused to eat one of the miniature eclairs from his heavily loaded plate. “I had expected Conrad to be here.”

  “He wanted to be. The Council ended up deciding to locate off-world, though, and he had to make some meetings with UN members to talk about the implications of it.” John was well aware of the inner workings of the newly established council, even though he had been very politely locked out of it.

  “Are they going to move forward with the dual citizenship for mages?” Augie’s eyes got a touch wider.

  “I think they might be, it would solve problems with accountability and travel. Those are the exact words Conrad used as a matter of fact.”

  “Did they at least offer you a position at the new college?” Augie asked.

  “No, Deanna got that, and she deserves it much more than I ever did. I’m happy here working with the Scouts.” John was starting to wonder where this conversation was going. He and Augie had worked together in the Scout program for a couple of months now and hardly talked.

  “You are being written out of the histories, John. Your work here will not soon be forgotten, and it is admirable. But, there are a lot of others who want their names written large in the histories, that means pushing you out. Are you comfortable with that?”

  John paused for a moment to consider that, and it was not the first time this very fact had been pointed out to him. “I never wanted any of this. I didn’t go looking for it, and it ruined what was left of my life. I found Radha because of it, and now we have Owen. I’ve seen the very edge of the universe and learned so much about myself and the universe. And, I still just feel like a kid fumbling my way through it. Let them have the history books, it was never part of what I wanted. Or, expected for myself.”

  “I’m very pleased that we are working together on this project, John. You’ve always stuck by what you believ
ed, and you are starting to show traces of wisdom.” Augie gave John a polite smile and walked off to mingle with the other Scouts, leaving John with a surprised look on his face.

  “John? Are you home?” Radha had taken a later train back, and since it was nice out decided to walk home from the train station. She liked walking down South street from the train station, it had a quaint country feeling to her.

  Turning on the lights as she went, Radha looked for signs of John and Owen. There was every indication that John had packed Owens diaper bag in a hurry and there were hangers on the bed, She guessed John got called into work and was wearing his suit. She changed into her sweatpants and a t-shirt. Then she went to make some tea. As Rahda was putting the kettle on the stove, she heard Owen starting to fuss. She turned to see John at the kitchen table, putting Owen’s bags and his own messenger bag on the table.

  “I wish you would teleport to your library like we agreed, you always startle me when you just pop out of nowhere.”

  “Sorry, sweetheart. I thought you would be asleep.”

  “Work called?”

  “Yeah, I forgot today was the commencement for the first group of Scouts.”

  “How angry was Christine?”

  “Very.”

  Radha laughed as she took Owen from John.

  “Christen and Augie said to say ‘Hi.’”

  “How are they?”

  “Good, how are Deanna and Yvonne?”

  “Yvonne has settled on psychology as a career, and I think that Deanna is going to marry her Russian.”

  “Really?” John said with a chuckle. He wondered if the poor guy knew what he was in for.

  “Yes.”

  “What about you? How are you doing, baby?”

  “I’m happy.” Radha said with a smile as she kissed John on the cheek.

  “Have you thought about my question?”

  “Which one?”

  John gave her a meaningful look as he took off his tie.

  “You want Owen to be a mage?”

  “I want him to have the choice, I want him to start young if he can.” John paused. “It was rough on me, but that’s because I never had a choice. Now that things are different, he should have the chance to chose.”

  “Let’s at least wait and see, he has a lot of growing up to do.” Radha walked to the living room and started singing gently to Owen in Hindi.

  John listened to Radha sing as he went upstairs and changed into pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. He thought about what Augie had asked him about Radha, Owen, and how much magic had altered his life. He tried to imagine who he would be and where he would be without it, he couldn’t. John hung up his coat and pants before wandering back downstairs. Radha was sitting on the couch, holding Owen against herself. Her singing was hardly a whisper, and Owen was clearly asleep. As far as John was concerned, the historians could ignore him. This was the greatest magic he had ever known or had ever been a part of.

  John sat down next to Radha, kissed her gently, and enjoyed the moment while he had it.

  The End.