Parasite Deep

by Shane McKenzie

  “All of God’s creatures are beautiful. Cocks and all.”

  “I’m talkin’ about you diggin’ in your belly button like there’s buried treasure in there.”

  “I don’t know. Always done that I guess. Makes my balls tingle. Like there’s Daddy Longlegs tap dancing on the bottom of my scrotum.” Cobb checked his phone again. Still no answer from Clyde.

  “Why do you smell it? Your finger?” Manuel had his shirt up now, had his finger knuckle deep in his belly fat. His eyelids fluttered and a small smile crept over his thick lips. “You’re right about the tingle, though.”

  Cobb had just plunged his finger back into his belly button when his cell phone vibrated. He reached over, smeared his finger across Manuel’s upper lip. “I just love the smell of your mom’s pussy, that’s all.”

  “Awww! You fuckin’ chode!” Manuel tried to reach over the middle console, but Cobb slapped his hands away.

  “Quit fucking around, it’s Clyde.”

  Manuel wiped the rank sweat from his lip, gagged once, then studied his own finger and sniffed it.

  Clyde: What you need? Meet me at Emma’s.

  Cobb texted back: Quarter. Be there in a minute.

  “What’d he say?” Manuel said.

  “We’re good.” Cobb stared at the text message another few seconds, then sighed. “Do you think maybe… Never mind.”

  “What? Do I think you’re a master cocksucker? A demonstration might help me make up my mind.”

  “Fuck off.” Cobb started driving toward Emma’s place, which was only a ten minute drive or so from his house. He couldn’t get Ben’s crying face out of his head.

  After a few more minutes, Manuel said, “Seriously, what’s up?”

  “I don’t know. You think we should be buying weed from Ben’s brother? It doesn’t seem kinda fucked up to you?”

  “Ben never cared before. He knows we buy from Clyde, always has. Why, did he say somethin’?”

  Cobb shook his head, took the turn onto Emma’s street. “No. I guess it just feels kind of inappropriate after his dad…you know. Died.”

  “Look, man. We tried everyone else we know. Unless you wanna go door to door or somethin’, it’s Clyde or nothing. And remember what you said about rhinoceros cock?”

  Cobb parked the car, cut off the engine. “I can’t help but feel like we’re being disrespectful.”

  “Yeah, but you still drove us here, didn’t you? Even your conscience wants to get high, man.”

  “Fuck it then. I’ll drive off right now.”

  “All right, all right. Chill out. Look,” Manuel said, reaching over and placing his hand on Cobb’s shoulder. “Their dad’s been dead for what, a year now? It’s not like we’re shooting heroin at the funeral or anything. It’s just a little weed.”

  “I guess.”

  “Clyde’s still sellin’ it, right? What’s wrong with us buyin’ some from him? In fact, we’re kinda helpin’ the family out. Givin’ ’em money.”

  Cobb twisted his lips and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. We’re putting Ben through college over here.”

  Manuel just shrugged and smiled, then reached down from Cobb’s shoulder to his chest, grabbed his tit, and gave it a good twist.

  Cobb squealed, launched himself over the middle console and punched Manuel in the nuts. Manuel quickly let go, grimaced, curled up in his seat and gasped.

  “That’s what you get, fucker,” Cobb said.

  “…f-fuckin’ dick…”

  Cobb stared past Manuel and out the passenger window at Emma’s place. He had met Clyde at this house a few times for pot, always hated it. At Clyde’s place, after the transaction, Cobb and Manuel would just hang in Ben’s room, play video games, whatever. Clyde was paranoid, even worse it seemed after his dad had died.

  “Come inside for a minute,” he would always say. “Burn one with me. Don’t need no heat from you comin’ and goin’ so fast.”

  And then they’d be stuck there until Clyde felt comfortable with them leaving, the amount of time varying from day to day. The worst part of it for Cobb was watching the way Clyde treated Emma. Like a dog that just pissed on the carpet. Cobb didn’t really know her much, but he felt bad for her.

  “All right, let’s go get this over with. I still need to get home and pack,” Cobb said.

  “I’ll wait here, keep a look out.”

  “A look out for what?”

  “I don’t know. Mutants? Ninjas? Cannibal Hillbillies? The cops, retard.”

  “The cops. And what are you going to do when they get here? Whistle?”

  Manuel’s leg wiggled, his heel tapping the floorboard. “Come on, Cobb. Let me just stay. I’ll go in next time, all right?”

  “Get your ass out of my car and come on. You’re not sending me alone, hell no.”

  Manuel rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

  They strolled toward the door side by side, slowly, like two kids inspecting the local haunted house or something. As many years as they had known Clyde through Ben, Cobb never felt comfortable around the guy. He knew Manuel didn’t either. Clyde’s assholishness seemed to be growing more potent with every passing year.

  As soon as they were standing on the front porch, Cobb could hear laughter from inside of the house. Female. Not Emma. At least it didn’t sound like her. Cobb figured maybe she could have a cold or something. Or maybe it was Emma’s mom. He had never met her, but heard her calling for Emma from her bedroom a few times.

  Manuel rang the doorbell. “I hope like fuck he doesn’t feel like hangin’ out tonight. I just wanna get stoned and go home. Eat some Frosted Flakes. Watch YouTube videos.”

  “Chill out. He’s coming.” Cobb had heard the approaching footsteps, heavy as if Clyde was wearing flip flips with cinder blocks for bottoms.

  In the next second, the door swung open and Clyde looked ready to kill somebody. He was only wearing boxer shorts, the kind that buttoned up, only he had failed to do so. The tip of his dick poked out like a prairie dog from a hole in the dirt, and though Cobb only glanced at it, he couldn’t help but notice the pearl of semen bulging at the tip, as if he’d just finished and didn’t have time to clean himself up before Manuel hit the doorbell.

  I could’ve gone my whole life without seeing that.

  Clyde eyed them both, seemed like he was searching his memory for who they were, where he might know them from. His eyes were wide, pupils dilated. He ground his teeth as he looked at them, his muscles bulging from pushing on the doorframe so hard.

  “Who fuck’s that, Clyde?” A woman stumbled up from behind him, wearing nothing but a bed sheet. She held it at her chest, keeping her breasts concealed, but the sheet parted at her naval and her cunt, in much need of a shave, winked at Cobb. Looked like an abandoned bird’s nest stuffed with lunch meat.

  “Fuck,” Clyde said under his breath, then without saying a word to the woman, stepped out and shut the door. Then he glared at Cobb and Manuel. “I forgot y’all little motherfuckers were comin’.”

  You just texted me ten fucking minutes ago.

  Clyde bounced from foot to foot, rubbed the back of his head with one hand, the other shaking at his side. He seemed to realize his cock head was poking out, and he stared at it for a few seconds as if he forgot he had one, then stuffed it back in, buttoned himself up.

  Manuel stared, and before Cobb could elbow him to stop, Clyde looked up, saw him looking, but only smiled.

  “That’s right. Yeah. Y’all needed somethin’ from me, right?”

  Cobb and Manuel shared a quick glance at each other, then both turned their attention back to Clyde.

  “We’re heading out to your uncle’s place tomorrow. With Ben. Going deep sea fishing he said. Figured fishing would be a lot better high, just like everything else, you know?” Cobb tried to act as cool as possible, pretend like he didn’t just stumble in on Clyde fucking his girlfriend’s mom.

  Or maybe she’s in there too. I’ve seen mother daughter porn before, maybe—


  “Who was that?” Manuel said and nodded his chin toward the door. “Tappin’ that cougar ass in there?”

  Clyde’s smile melted, and he looked like he might cock back and hit Manuel in the face, though Cobb was thinking about beating him to the punch.

  Clyde looked over his shoulder at the door, then back at Manuel. “Hold the fuck up.” Clyde backed up to the door, slid back into the house.

  “I fuckin’ hate you so bad right now,” Cobb said.

  “What? That lady looked pretty good to me. I don’t care how saggy her pussy lips were, I’d nibble on ’em. Just tryin’ to give him props, that’s all.”

  “Where are we right now?”

  Manuel looked around as if he thought it was a trick question.

  “Emma’s house, dipshit. That lady look like Emma to you?”

  Manuel scratched his chin. “Actually, now that you mention it, she kinda… Oh, fuck.”

  Cobb punched Manuel in the arm. “Yeah, oh fuck. And we fucking walked in on that shit. I swear to God I could kill you right now.”

  “Me? I didn’t oil her cunt and lower it on top of him.”

  “What the fuck did you just say?”

  “I’m just… Why is it my fault? How the fuck was I supposed to know?”

  Before Cobb could respond, the door swung open again, and Clyde stepped out, this time wearing some jeans and a white tank top. Cobb half expected Clyde to stroll out with a gun in his hand or something, but instead, the guy bounced a bag of weed in his palm, a fat sack that was at least triple the amount they had come for.

  “Y’all little motherfuckers didn’t see shit here tonight, right? Matter fact, you were never here. Bought that shit from someone else.”

  When Clyde look at Cobb, Cobb didn’t know what to say or do. Clyde slammed the weed into Manuel’s hand, then grabbed the back of Manuel’s head and pulled him close so their foreheads were almost touching.

  “Right?”

  “Yeah, man. Yeah, of course.”

  “Good. We gotta trip to get ready for, right? I’m goin’ fishin’ too, bitches. So’s Emma. She finds out about this, either one of y’all motherfuckers says somethin’ to her, you ain’t comin’ back from Palacios, you hear me? Y’all motherfuckers ever seen The Little Mermaid?”

  Cobb and Manuel both nodded.

  “Under the sea. That’ll be your new home you fuck with me.”

  “I swear,” Cobb said. “It’s cool. It won’t come up.”

  “Swear,” Manuel added, held up his hand like a boy scout.

  “That’s good. Cuz I’m lookin’ forward to havin’ some fun this weekend. You know we’re goin’ out on my grandpa’s boat? Was gonna be my dad’s boat, but his dumbass left. And now he’s dead. Ain’t that some shit?”

  Cobb and Manuel didn’t say a word. Manuel tucked the large sack of weed under his arm.

  “All right then. Y’all get the fuck outta here.” Clyde smiled for a minute, then stomped his foot, laughed when both Cobb and Manuel jumped.

  Cobb forced a smile at Clyde, then quickly made his way back to his car. He didn’t even look back to see if Manuel was following, but by the time he was in the driver’s seat, Manuel was already sitting in the passenger seat, the massive bag of weed in his lap.

  “Yeah, get us the fuck outta here, Cobb.”

  Neither of them spoke again until they were a few blocks away. Cobb couldn’t help but check the rearview mirror every few seconds, but there was nothing but darkness behind them.

  “Well,” Manuel said as he opened the Ziploc bag and sniffed. “As fucked up as that was, you can’t tell me you don’t want to stick your dick in this bag right now.”

  “This is all fucked up. What did I say? We shouldn’t buy weed from Clyde. Didn’t I say that?”

  “You said it, but you didn’t mean it.”

  Cobb wanted to argue, but he knew Manuel was right. “Well this is still fucked up. Should we tell Ben?”

  “Fuck no. We don’t tell anyone. Not even in our dreams, man. Seriously.”

  “Ben finds out later, he’ll be pissed.”

  “He won’t find out.” Manuel took another sniff of the weed, stuck his hand into the bag like it was a sack of Halloween candy. “But in all honesty, Emma’s mom is a milf. Right? Wish I coulda seen a glimpse of those titties, man.”

  “Jesus.”

  “I’m just sayin’. If I was Clyde, I’d try and get her and Emma at the same time. Fuck, that would be—”

  Cobb stopped at a red light, glanced over at Manuel who was pulling something out of the bag. Another bag, but much smaller. Cobb thought it was candy at first.

  “Cobb?” Manuel said, wiggling the baggie in front of him. “You, uh, you fuckin’ see this?”

  “Ah, fuck. Goddamnit. You think it was an accident?”

  “Accident how?”

  “Clyde... You think he put that shit there on purpose or something?” Cobb couldn’t figure why the guy would, unless he was trying to set them up or something, call the cops.

  “Maybe. He was pretty fucked up, right? Didn’t even remember we were comin’ by.”

  “Throw it the fuck out, man. Hurry up!”

  Manuel rolled the window down, tossed the baggie out, then wiped his hands on his shirt as if they were covered in slime.

  Cobb drove Manuel home, parked out front. “Did I mention this is fucked up?”

  “Once or twice.” Manuel bit his lip. “And now Clyde’s comin’ on the fishin’ trip with us? Think he’ll fuck with us? Try some shit?”

  “If he does, we’ll tell Emma what we saw.”

  “Really?”

  “Just shut the fuck up and load a bowl already. If I don’t get high immediately, I think my head’s going to explode.”

  ***

  “I don’t know,” Emma said and rolled her eyes. “I had a bad crush. By the time I realized I’d made a mistake, it was too late.”

  Gentry wasn’t sure how long they’d been walking, but he felt like they could have walked to China and back and it would have still gone by too fast. They had finally circled back around to Ben’s house, and Clyde’s car still wasn’t there. Gentry had hoped they would just keep on walking, maybe make another circle around the neighborhood, but Emma took a seat on the curb and lit another cigarette. She offered him one, but he waved it off. He was still clearing his throat from the last one.

  “Too late how? Can’t you just break it off if you’re not happy?”

  She laughed out a gust of smoke. “If I was lucky, and not a fucking idiot, maybe I could have ended up with someone more like you.”

  So much blood rushed into Gentry’s head just then, he thought it would squirt from his ears.

  “You’re sweet, but it’s not that simple. Even before everything happened with his dad, he would never let me go. Not without doing something to hurt me first.” Emma had only taken a few puffs from the cigarette, but she stuffed it onto the concrete, wrinkled her nose as if the smoke tasted like raw Spam.

  “Hurt you?”

  She nodded. Smiled up at Gentry who still stood above her. “Before, I thought he might try and do something to embarrass me, or fuck up my reputation. Tell everyone I’m a whore, you know? Post shit on the internet and Facebook, hurt me that way. But now?”

  “He wouldn’t hurt you for real.”

  She chuckled, shook her head.

  I won’t let him! That’s what Gentry wanted to say. It was the perfect opportunity, but he just couldn’t get the words out. Because he knew they were pure bullshit.

  “He’s a dick, but I can’t see him hurting you. You know, physically.” He tried not to stare at the marks on her neck when he said this.

  “Shit’s changed, Gentry. He’s different. He scares me. Since what happened, he’s been on…fuck.”

  “What?”

  “He was only supposed to sell it. But once he started using it too, shit got—”

  When the light splashed over Emma’s body, she gasped, and Gentry nearly j
ust ran away, back into the house, back to Ben’s room where he felt safe. The bass from whatever rap song Clyde was listening to rattled his trunk with every boom. He pulled into the driveway, and Emma stood up, placed her fingertips on Gentry’s elbow, lightly, as if to let him know not to worry, that she had this under control.

  Gentry didn’t know what to expect. He and Clyde had never been close, but all the years Gentry had been Ben’s best friend, he and Clyde had never had any problems with each other. Gentry remembered Clyde since before Clyde decided he wanted to be a bad ass, since before he spent every day making sure everyone knew he was top shit, not to be fucked with. Since he was just another dorky kid who liked super heroes and video games and giggled at the words fart and poop. But still, Gentry braced himself for a shitstorm.

  Clyde stepped out of the car, smiled when he saw Gentry and Emma standing there together. He nodded his head in greeting, then pulled Emma in close by the small of her back, pressed his lips against hers. Emma kissed back, but Gentry could sense her discomfort. When Clyde reached down and gripped Emma’s ass, squeezed it, Gentry looked away, crossed his arms. He did his best to ignore the moist smacking, the light moaning, tried to concentrate on the June bugs and moths swirling around the streetlamp above.

  He knew the kiss was over from the wet popping sound behind him.

  “What up, Gentry,” Clyde said, and Gentry turned back to face him. “You movin’ in on my girl, man?”

  “Wha…?”

  “I’m fuckin’ with you, dude.” Clyde reached out, wrapped his arm around Gentry’s neck, pulled him in, even kissed the side of his head. “This dude right here? He’s like a second little brother to me, for real. Ain’t that right, Gentry?”

  Clyde’s breath smelled of alcohol and something else Gentry didn’t recognize. A chemical smell of some kind, bursting from his mouth with every word like he was chewing on bug poison before he pulled up.

  “Y-yeah. Yeah,” Gentry said, then caught Emma looking at him, a soft smile trying to free itself from her scowl.

  “You’re like family. I mean that shit. And family, we got to stick together.” He finally let Gentry go, but he still had a hand on Gentry’s shoulder.