One True Love (A Regency Romance)

by Lisa Follett

  In order to see Miss Chamber’s home, they had to cut across a wooded path. Surrounded by ancient trees and a mellow morning light, they continued on when she stilled and let go of his arm. She tiptoed a few steps, turned her head, and brought her finger to her mouth to indicate he should be quiet. He looked ahead where he saw a doe and her fawn standing in a copse of trees, and then turned to watch her expression change from surprise to delight. She reminded him of a child ogling a new toy on Christmas morn. Something churned deep inside of him, and settled in a tight ball over his heart.

  The fawn stopped and stared at the intruders before disappearing into the woods.

  Miss Chambers turned, beaming. “What a delightful treat! I love observing nature.”

  She started back toward him when her foot stumbled over a protruding rock, which caused her to tumble forward.

  He wrapped his arms around her to catch her fall, and then drew her tight against him.

  Their eyes met and held for a defining moment in time. The instant was too real, too intense, so he broke the contact, only to find himself drawn to her ripe, luscious, kissable lips. Last night he dreamed about her soft mouth, of tasting and exploring her depths.

  He forgot himself, forgot the circumstances, forgot his honor, and lowered his mouth to hers to taste her sweetness, but once was not enough. He touched his lips to hers repeatedly, and begged her with the pressure of his mouth to open for him –and she did.

  When he pushed his tongue into her mouth, she moaned and pressed further into him, and placed her hands against his chest. Heat burned through his clothes all the way to his skin.

  Somewhere in the back of his mind, he brushed away the little voice telling him to stop, to set her aside and forget her existence. His control slipped in a whirlwind of need, and instead of pulling back, he went deeper into her mouth, tasting, taking, giving her inexperienced mouth a drink from the fountain of passion. She tasted like his favorite dessert of raspberries and cream. The need to over indulge, to probe his tongue deeper into her mouth, to feed his starving heart and soul, drew him into an oblivious state of arousal.

  Her hands slid up his chest and around his neck, and then her fingers plunged into the thickness of his hair. He deepened the kiss.

  Something tapped on the door of his mind. He pushed it away and tightly wrapped his arms around her, moving his hands up and down her back. His need for her overtook his soul, and kept the guilt at bay.

  This woman did something to him, something he could not explain or deny. Helpless, he continued his pursuit of her, drugged by her mouth and her innocent responses.

  The temptation to touch her, to lift her skirts, and feel her bare skin almost won out, until her deep moan broke through his passion filled fog. What the hell was he doing? Ravishing an innocent woman, a betrothed woman, a woman who belonged to another man, taking what was not his to take, in the woods where anyone could come across them and see. He wanted more, but alas, she was not his for the taking.

  He lifted his mouth from hers, regret and guilt biting into his consciousness. “I am sorry. I do not know what came over me.”

  Cassie’s eyes widened in astonishment, and her chest heaved as she struggled for air. She held her hand to her mouth, stared at him in bewilderment, confusion, and with obvious desire.

  Then she picked up her skirts and ran.

  Chapter Two

  Cassie stood at Jocelyn’s window and peered out at the church’s graveyard. Jocelyn slept, allowing her the luxury of being alone with her thoughts.

  When she returned from her walk she learned her sister had a turn for the worse. Jocelyn’s fever spiked during the night. Their exhausted mother spent the night pressing cool rags to her youngest daughter’s forehead. Finally, sometime in the early morning, her fever broke. Cassie took over so her mother could go to bed.

  Not for the first time since her walk, she touched her fingers to her tingling mouth. Like a wanton, she allowed a man who was not her husband to take liberties, but most disturbingly, she enjoyed his kiss as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Closing her eyes, she replayed the moment in her mind. He kissed her, and she kissed him back without a care for the consequences. She lost herself to the desire pulsing through her veins, and now the shame left her grappling with her conscience. She pulled her shawl tight around her shoulders. How could she have sinned so?

  She bit her fist to stop the sob that swelled in her throat.

  Mr. Parker.

  Her one true love.

  She betrayed the man she loved above all else, and this before they were married. What would Mr. Parker think or say or do if he learned what she had done? Surely he would cry off and leave her broken hearted.

  Why did Lord William kiss her? More importantly, however, why did she kiss him back? Mr. Parker’s one fleeting kiss left her tingling and wanting more, unlike Lord William’s kisses which left her hot and achy and wanting something she could not comprehend.

  The door opened, cracking the silence, intruding on her mood like a black veil lifted from a widow’s face. Mrs. Hopkins, the housekeeper, stepped inside carrying a luncheon tray. She set it down on Jocelyn’s desk and whispered across the room, “I thought you might be hungry.”

  Cassie attempted to answer. She was not the least bit hungry, in fact, her stomach churned, leaving her somewhat nauseated. Of course, she was not about to disclose her feelings to a servant.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Hopkins,” she said.

  “Has she stirred at all?” asked the housekeeper.

  “No, she has slept like a babe. I imagine she needs her rest.” Cassie moved to the chair in front of the desk. She looked down at the roast beef, peas, and carrots. Her dry mouth and throat tightened.

  She took a sip of water while Mrs. Hopkins touched Jocelyn’s head and clucked, “Fever is broke. Good thing too. Your poor mother nearly had the vapors from worry. Tis’ nothing nature will not heal.”

  “Thank the Good Lord,” murmured Cassie between dry bites of beef.

  Mrs. Hopkins took her leave, once again leaving Cassie alone with her turbulent thoughts. She managed to swallow a few more bites before she shoved her tray away and laid her head in her arms. Hot, blinding tears came, soaking her sleeves with salty moisture. Would her soul burn in hell for eternity for her one indiscretion? “Oh, God, please forgive me…please forgive me…”

  “Forgive you for what?” croaked a small voice from the bed.

  Cassie’s head snapped up as she turned toward her sister, “I…uh…was praying for forgiveness of my sins.”

  Jocelyn struggled, but managed to sit up in the bed, “You are perfect, dear sister. Whenever have you sinned?” Jocelyn’s teasing smile reassured Cassie she would recover just fine.

  “I am far from perfect. Just the other day I thought Mrs. Bloomingburg’s hat made her look like a spotted ostrich.” Cassie forced a smile for Jocelyn’s sake.

  Jocelyn laughed, but then she sobered and asked, “Why were you crying?”

  “I was feeling sorry for myself. I suppose I miss Mr. Parker.” Another sin –lying. She did miss Mr. Parker, but that was not the reason for her tears. The shame crept up her neck and flushed her face. “How are you feeling?”

  “Much better. My dreadful headache is finally gone.” Jocelyn looked at her older sister with an assessing eye. “It must be terribly hard to be separated from Mr. Parker.”

  Cassie poured a glass of water and handed it to Jocelyn. “Here, drink up.” She hesitated before continuing, “It is difficult. I wish he could at least visit before the wedding.” Five long months. “It is not as if London is so very far away.” If Mr. Parker were here she might not be so tempted by Lord William –at least that is what she told herself.

  They spent several hours playing whist to pass the time. She described Nightingale Hall and the Prescott family while leaving out details of a certain Prescott. Jocelyn would know right away something was wrong if she were not careful.

  Mrs. Chambers enter
ed the room at mid-afternoon, gave Jocelyn a once over with her eyes, then turned to Cassie smiling and holding out a letter, “The post arrived. You have a letter from Mr. Parker.”

  Guilt washed through her, soaking her conscious like a thunderstorm would soak one’s clothes. She covered her hot cheeks with her hands to hide her apparent shame. She jumped up and snatched the letter out of her mother’s hand then turned towards the window to read it in privacy.

  My Darling Miss Chambers,

  I have arrived in London in good time. The air here is thick with a most unpleasant smell. Oh, how I miss the sweet scent of roses in the country. I can hardly wait to see you again, my dear.

  I have met with my uncle, and must confess he is none too happy with our engagement, but I vow to bring him round in time. I can imagine no other woman as my wife but you. Your smile warms my heart. We will be together soon my love, as husband and wife. Give your dear family my love. Until we meet again, keep me in your dreams.

  Your devoted fiancé,

  Miles Parker

  Cassie’s eyes welled with a mix of guilt, shame, and love. She loved Mr. Parker, and missed him so very much.

  She would not betray him again.

  She squared her shoulders and stiffened her spine. “Lord Winnington is giving Mr. Parker some grief about our upcoming nuptials, just as we expected. However, my betrothed has everything in hand. He sends his love.” She folded the letter and placed it in her pocket. “If you do not mind, I would like to take some air.”

  “Of course dear, you go on. I will keep Jocelyn company.”

  ***

  The local assembly room was already crowded when Cassie and Jocelyn arrived. They each wore their prettiest ball gowns. Jocelyn dressed in yellow to match her dark hair and Cassie in soft pink. Their mother went off to speak to a group of ladies, leaving the girls to their own devices. No one expected anything untoward to occur at a country event.

  The sea of faces swam before Cassie’s eyes, until she spotted a familiar one, Lady Anne. Then she braced herself in case she ran across Lord William. She would be polite, but she had no intention of letting him near her again. Over two weeks had passed since their morning walk, a walk she avoided at all costs, although she did feel closeted near home, constraining her movement to the gardens and graveyard. She thought perhaps he would attend Sunday church, but so far he did not come with the rest of his family. The last she heard he was in London. She hoped he stayed there, but more so, she wished he would stay out of her dreams.

  “Cassie, I am so glad you came.” Lady Anne hugged her. In the short time since they met, the two girls were on their way to becoming the best of friends.

  “I would not have missed it. Of course, Jocelyn would sulk for days if we did not come, and neither mother nor I can abide her sulking.” Cassie laughed as Jocelyn narrowed her eyes.

  “You are right. I had to come; otherwise, I would never break free of your sulking over the absence of Mr. Parker.” Cassie grimaced at Jocelyn’s comment.

  The girls chatted for awhile about the local ladies and gents. Lady Anne pointed out the most eligible bachelors, including Mr. Jones, a handsome and wealthy land-owner. Jocelyn’s eyes widened when she saw him across the room. He turned their direction, and came over to address Lady Anne. After an introduction to Jocelyn, he whisked her away to the dance floor. Cassie’s heart tugged with jealousy. She wished Mr. Parker was here.

  “Oh, William is here.” Lady Anne tugged on her sleeve. “Come, I must greet him. He must have just come in from London. He left the day after the dinner party.”

  Cassie froze. Oh, dear heavens! She did not expect to see him here. Granted, she knew it was possible, but she truly thought she would be safe. How could she possibly face him? Her insides quivered. She did not want to greet him, look into his face, his eyes; see his mouth. She instinctively covered her mouth with her hand. Her lips burned from the memory of their kiss. Why did he come tonight?

  Cassie knew she would not be able to avoid him. She tried to imagine he would stay in London, or go back to his new home, and she assumed she would not see him before her wedding. Once she married Mr. Parker, she would be safe from Lord William, safe from his intrusion into her thoughts.

  Lady Anne dragged her through the thrones of people across the room. The closer she came to Lord William the more ragged her breaths became. She struggled to compose herself. He is so beautiful.

  Oh, what could she be thinking! She must smash these wayward and sinful thoughts. She could not think about Lord William, and how his kisses heated her from the inside out, how they melted her resistance, how they made her desire him above Mr. Parker. No! She loved Mr. Parker. Truly she did.

  “William, I am so happy to see you here. When did you arrive?” Lady Anne reached out to hug him as he bent and kissed her cheek.

  Heat rose in Cassie and warmed her entire being. His arms were around Lady Anne and his mouth kissed her cheek, but his eyes went directly to Cassie’s soul. The look he gave her stripped her raw, burned through her, sending shockwaves through her body. She thought she might swoon.

  Ridiculous! She never swooned in her life. She was not the swooning type. She had a strong and healthy constitution, and she certainly was not a milksop. She held herself erect and placed a cool mask of indifference across her features. She would not cow or waver or faint. She would be polite and move on.

  “Miss Chambers, how do you do?” Lord William took her hand and kissed the air above it which she found disappointing. She mentally scolded herself. Lord William did not need to kiss her hand, or her lips…

  “Fine, thank you, my lord.” She curtsied while considering a way out. She had to find a way to leave his presence. She desperately tried to create a mental image of Mr. Parker in her mind, but it came like a ghost haunting a house, fading away as soon as she conjured it up.

  “May I have the honor of the next dance?” asked Lord William.

  No. No you cannot.

  “Yes, of course.”

  Lord William took her hand and escorted her onto the dance floor. She should have made up an excuse. She should have told him she was about to visit the lady’s retiring room, anything to remove herself from this awkward situation, but the words left her mouth before her brain had time to process his request. Wonderful! The next set would last at least half an hour. She just placed herself in the company of the one man she should avoid.

  She set her hand on his arm. Waves of tiny sparks moved across her skin. A heavy achiness spread to her most intimate regions. Her knee buckled slightly causing her to grasp his arm tighter. He turned and raised an eyebrow in question, but he did not say anything about her near misstep. She tried desperately to compose herself as they moved onto the dance floor, and stood across from each other until the music began. He was so handsome in his formal attire consisting of a dark blue coat, white shirt, and striped blue and gold knee breeches. He almost looked like a London dandy, but no, the way he carried himself and the lack of ornament made him seem more masculine somehow.

  Mr. Parker was a dandy, perfectly groomed and dressed and sometimes ornamented to the point of being obnoxious and she loved it. She secretly thought his wardrobe hysterical. The bright colors suited his sanguine personality. He was always laughing and joking, and making everyone around him laugh. Mr. Parker made laugh, and oh, how she needed laughter in her life. Her staid and stoic existence bored her beyond belief.

  The set began. They moved together and apart, at first quiet, but the contact of their hands caused the gooseflesh on her skin to rise. She pursed her lips in an attempt to mask the feelings bubbling from the surface.

  “Miss Chambers, you must accept my apology for the…um…events that occurred recently.” His voice startled her out of her own contemplations.

  “I need no reminders Lord William of my one indiscretion in life. I prefer to sweep it away and forget about it. Please do not speak of it again.” She watched his eyes lift in question. She surprised him with the
coolness of her answer. Good. She had no choice.

  “Of course,” said Lord William.

  They continued with the dance for a few more minutes before he spoke again. “It was not an indiscretion.”

  “What?” She nearly stopped in the middle of the dance floor upon his odd declaration.

  “There is something between us, something we would be bound to explore if it were not for your betrothal. However, we cannot change our circumstances, so it is pointless to carry on.”

  She hissed between her teeth, “We are not carrying on. And you are right, my lord, I am betrothed. I love Mr. Parker.” She raised her chin. She could be as haughty as any aristocrat if need be.

  “I see.” A shadow passed over his face and his jovial features were replaced with a face of cool stone. He tensed. And when their hands connected she noticed he withdrew his contact just enough to continue the dance, but not enough to touch her as if he held her.

  It appeared she put an end to whatever stirred between them, except she felt a pain, a great pain of loss. How could she feel loss for something she never had? Not really. A small glimpse is all. One that created turmoil in her mind and heart. How could she possibly regret the loss of something that exhilarated and tormented her at the same time?

  “Anne tells me you have joined her committee for raising funds for a local home for orphans.” At least he changed the topic to something safe.

  “Yes, I have already noticed a number of homeless street urchins running around the area, unchaperoned, or cared for, begging for food or scraps of cloth for clothing. It is shameful any child should be left on their own devices.”