by London Casey
“There’s a diner down the street,” Big Mike said. “You go there and get a hot meal. Think about what we talked about.”
Soon there were only the newbies. Hanging around, chatting with Big Mike.
I casually worked my way toward the group.
I took my hands out of my pockets. My fingers instantly began to play, rubbing, wanting to touch…
“And this is Aiden,” Big Mike said. “Good guy here. Quiet. Throws his fists faster than his opinions, but he will have your back.”
The newbies stared at me and nodded.
“I gave you all a pass,” Big Mike said. “But next time I expect you all to stand up there and talk. Telling your story is healing. Right, Aiden?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Get that shit off your chest. Hold back and…”
From the corner of my eye I saw the police cruiser fly up to the curb. The officer came out, weapon drawn. Big Mike put his massive arms out and blocked all the newbies, letting the officer charge right at me.
I looked at Big Mike.
He simply smirked. Asshole.
The officer grabbed me, pushed me against the jagged brick wall of the church, and stuffed a hand in my pocket, finding the baggie…
“Where the fuck are you taking me?” I asked.
He looked in the mirror at me and grinned.
Cuffed in the back of a cop car just seemed all too familiar for me. I set my head against the window and for some damn reason I was shot in the chest with arrows dipped in memories. I felt it spreading through my body like a poison. It always seemed that at the worst times I would completely fuck up. And by thinking the worst times they were, in reality, the best times. The second the world seemed to gently right itself for me, I was in the business of fucking everything up.
The police cruiser made a few more twists and turns and then pulled into the back parking lot of the church. Right up to the back door, where Big Mike stood, finishing off a cigarette. He flicked the cigarette to the ground as the back door to the police cruiser opened up.
I was dragged out and quickly threw my shoulder at the officer, knocking him back.
“Easy,” I growled.
“Hey. Aiden…”
“Fuck off, Breck,” I said. “You didn’t have to slam me that hard against the church.”
I felt my cheek still throbbing and knew I was bleeding.
“And the fucking cuffs?” I asked.
Big Mike walked to the police cruiser, crossed his arms, and leaned against the back of it.
“How’s your father, Breck?” Big Mike asked. “He still got that cough?”
“How the hell do you remember that?” Breck asked as he unhooked the cuffs from my wrists.
“Be careful with a cough at his age,” Big Mike said. “Pneumonia. Happened to my Uncle John. Fucking stuff took him.”
“Are we done here?” I asked.
“No,” Breck said.
“Got my stuff?” Big Mike asked.
Breck reached into his pocket, took out the baggie, and flipped it to Big Mike.
“Is that shit even real?” I asked.
“Real as it gets,” Big Mike said.
“Why…”
“I walk with temptation. Now let’s go inside and have some coffee.”
I turned and looked at Breck. He opened his arms, wanting a hug.
I offered my hand instead.
We shook hands.
“Sorry if I was tough,” Breck said with a wink. “Not everyday I get to take down a prick like you.”
“A prick like me?”
“Hey, you’re good at what you do,” Breck said. “You should join the force.”
“Negative,” I said. “Now can we tell him about Charlie?”
Big Mike slipped the baggie into his pocket and pointed to the door to the basement of the church.
We called it scaring the newbies straight.
Whenever we got a few of them, Big Mike and I would set up a drug bust with Breck. I met Breck a long time ago, He realized the value of my street knowledge and I learned the value of having a cop in your back pocket. We worked together, he paid me in cash, and I did what I could to help him. Yeah, maybe I was a worthless rat in some eyes, but if it saved one person from making the worst decision of their life, it was worth it.
Truth was… Breck couldn’t figure out how to tie his shoes. His uncle was high up on the force and having a badge and a gun was merely a favor. So, if I made Breck look legit, then I was doing my job.
Big Mike sat down at the table last, blowing into a cup of coffee.
“What’s with this Charlie?” Breck asked.
“One of our regulars,” Big Mike said. “Never misses a meeting unless he’s slipped.”
“Shit,” Breck said.
“I’ll drop by his apartment,” I said. “You should come with me, Breck. In case he’s bombed out. We’ll need medical attention.”
“We should probably move now,” Big Mike said.
Nobody moved.
This shit got tiring. I knew the feeling. I was tiring. I was a burden to the world.
I was a burden to one woman…
“Before we go,” Breck said. He pulled out his cell. “This Charlie… what’s he look like?”
“Tall, messy red hair that’s thinning faster than nature intended,” Big Mike said.
“Missing his front teeth,” I said. “He had a replacement but sold them for a hit. Usually wears an olive green jacket with a rip in the back that’s patched over with a brown, uneven patch.”
“Jesus,” Big Mike said. “That’s some memory…”
“Fuck,” Breck said. He looked at his phone, shaking his head.
“What is it?” I asked.
He put the phone down and slid it to the middle of the table. Then he stood up, grabbing his styrofoam coffee cup.
“Tell me that’s him,” Breck said.
I looked at the phone and then looked away. “Shit.”
“Where?” Big Mike asked.
“Under a park bench,” Breck said. “Called in just after four in the morning. Nothing could be done.”
I stood and looked up to the ceiling. Right above me was a place where people went to get their faith restored. I was in the basement, working on something that resembled hell.
My phone buzzed in my pocket.
It was a text message from Alice.
Need you ASAP - there’s something wrong with Felix again.
Chapter 3
(Bags Packed for Nowhere)
PRESENT DAY
(LILY)
I leaned against the counter and hung my head down. In my mind, I pictured a beach. Two chairs in the sand. A very gentle breeze. Just like they show in those stupid beer commercials. Wait, a stronger breeze… a breeze that smelled like an ashtray…
I opened my eyes and looked back to see Jed standing behind me.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I’ll be better when you get away from me,” I said.
“Evil woman,” he said and slipped by.
He grabbed a plastic cup and jammed it under the ice button. The machine made a horrible grinding sound that haunted me in my sleep as ice fell. He topped it off with some root beer and raised his cup.
“Here’s to another dinner shift,” he said.
“Yeah, right,” I said.
Jed was the cook at the diner. His mother, Mary, owned the shit hole of a place and there was nothing Jed could do wrong. He had a thing for me but, luckily, he respected me after I told him to go fuck himself several times.
I looked around the diner and it was finally quieting down a little. For being a hole in the wall kind of place it did get a hell of a lot of business. Enough that I could scrape a living together and survive. Even if I had to drive almost half an hour to get there. But it was worth it. Mary paid waitresses a little over minimum wage and then tips. The counter was always full of regulars wanting to drink coffee, watch the news on the small TV hung high in the corner, and
argue over everything from weather to politics. With each coffee I refilled, there was a dollar waiting for me. And trust me, that all added up.
The waitressing job wasn't my only means to an end, but my biggest. I worked at a small bakery early in the morning a few days a week, getting some experience. My ultimate goal was to have my own bakery someday. But long days like this one just sort of proved how far away that dream was for me.
The door opened and a small bell tapped the glass.
“Ding-a-ling-dong,” a voice croaked.
A man stumbled forward and didn’t stop until he hit the counter. And that included spilling a jar of lollipops, a donation box, and a box of candy bars. They all went scattering to the floor behind the counter. His right hand punched the register, moving it.
I lunged to my left, pushing past two night girls. They were in for a long shift still since the diner stayed open until midnight seven days a week. Plus, I was used to getting beaten down in the job, so what was one more drunk fool to deal with?
I grabbed the register and made sure it was steady and that this guy wasn’t trying to make a move for the money inside it.
“How ‘bout some fucking pancakes?” the man asked.
His eyes were rolling in his head.
I carefully stepped over the mess he made and moved around the counter.
“Sir, if you’d like a table, I can seat you. You cannot yell or get rowdy.”
“Rowdy, girl,” he said and snapped his fingers. “Hmmm… I’d like to get rowdy with you… between your legs…”
I rolled my eyes. “Okay, then. Would you like to sit?”
“How about you sit right on my face,” he said and laughed. He looked back like he expected someone to be there with him. But he was definitely alone.
“Okay,” I said. “You need to either leave or I’ll call the police to help you get home.”
The man suddenly whipped his right hand at me, missing my face by less than an inch. “Don’t you fucking threaten me, bitch.”
I heard the collective gasp from behind me of everyone watching.
“Sir, leave right now,” I said.
The drunk man grabbed my arm. That was my fault. I should have been better guarded. His grip was tight, his fingers digging hard into my skin and muscle. I turned but he pulled.
Fuck.
I readied myself for a fight, praying that Mary wouldn’t fire me for hitting a customer.
Before I could throw a punch, a fist came out of nowhere and slammed against the guy’s face.
He let me go and fell back into the glass window, grabbing his nose.
“Get out of here!” Jed yelled. “Fucking piece of shit.”
Jed dragged the drunk guy to the front door and threw him out.
When he returned inside the diner, the few people there all started to clap.
Jed looked at me. “You okay?”
“Fine,” I said. “Thank you.”
“You have to admit… that should buy me a date.”
I laughed. “You punched a drunk guy to get a date with me?”
“I’ll go out there and murder him if I can get dinner with you.”
“I have to go clean this mess, Jed,” I said. “Thank you, though. If your mother says anything I’ll stick up for you.”
He waved a hand. “She’ll never fire me. If you’d hit him… she’d probably fire you.”
“Right. Well, thanks again.”
Jed walked to the kitchen as I stood there. I ran a hand through my greasy hair and let out a deep breath. I hated not being attracted to Jed, but I wasn’t going to lead him on. I had to be honest and true.
Try that with yourself.
I went behind the counter and Brooke was on her knees, cleaning up the mess the drunk guy made.
“I can do this,” I said.
“No. Your shift is done. You should go home.”
I crouched. “No…”
“Seriously, Lily. Go. Please. It’s been a long day.”
“You’re here until midnight?”
“Yeah.”
“I can stay… in case it gets busy.”
Brooke smiled. “Please go home.”
I smiled back at her and stood up. I was thirty minutes past my shift ending.
So I grabbed my stuff and left.
I stood in the back parking lot of the diner, looking up at the stars.
The diner felt more like home than my shitty apartment did.
I was alone in a world full of people… but I wouldn’t be for long.
The knock was fast and then it switched to pounding.
Popping up off the couch I instantly thought it was the drunk guy from the diner coming to get me. He waited outside for me. He watched me go home. He somehow followed me. And now he was at my door ready to attack me.
That’s seriously where my mind went.
I put down my beer and stood up. I walked to the door slowly, wondering if I should grab the lamp off the table and use it as a weapon.
I skipped that idea and opened the door a crack.
“Are you ready?” Eve yelled from out in the hallway.
I undid the chain and opened the door. “Eve…?”
“Tomorrow is your birthday!” she yelled.
“Will you get in here,” I said and grabbed her.
I pulled her into my apartment and shut the door.
“Well, your birthday is less than an hour away. We should be out! Let’s go out!”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said.
“But for your birthday… you’re all packed, right?”
I glanced back at two bags. Bags packed to go to nowhere. That’s what I considered it. Eve insisted that for my birthday we get a hotel and cause some trouble. I had no idea what that meant and I had no urge to do anything. Face it, I was less than an hour away from turning thirty-three. Granted, that wasn’t old, but at the same time… the whole partying thing just didn’t have the same effect. For Eve, she was one of the lucky ones who fell into some money and could live her carefree hippie life without worry. The rest of us? Well… it wasn't easy to survive.
“I’m packed,” I said and pointed to the bags. “But I never said I’d go.”
“Then come out tonight. Right now. We can get you drunk by midnight. And laid by morning! Remember last year?”
Eve winked.
Oh, I remembered last year.
I tried the whole one-night-stand thing only to be woken up by a girlfriend who came home early from a family trip on the east coast. And by woken up, I meant being dragged out of bed by my hair and attacked.
Being called a whore and having my stuff thrown at me, walking the halls of an apartment building, actually feeling like a whore.
Happy Birthday to me.
“Eve, I had a long day. A long night. I’m tired.”
“You’re sitting home alone on the eve of your birthday. The vibes… you need to be with someone on your birthday. Okay? You can’t be alone.”
“I won’t be alone,” I said. “Right now, I want to go to sleep. I wasn’t even born at midnight. So, you’re not missing anything.”
“But it’s the entire day,” Eve said. She looked ready to cry.
I sighed. “Tell you what. You can stay until midnight. We’ll have a couple drinks here. I have a bottle of vodka and juice.”
“But…”
“It’s my birthday and I get what I want,” I said, twisting the cards on her.
And I did.
We crashed on the couch, had a shot of vodka at exactly midnight, and Eve hugged me, planted an orange-juice-flavored kiss on my lips, and let out a yell. She grabbed my shoulders and shook me.
“Are you excited? Do you feel it?”
“Feel what?” I asked. “I’m thirty-three… I…”
“Shhh… listen to me. This is the year. I feel it. I sense it. Something is going to happen.”
Eve always said that. And it was hard not to smile while staring into her amber eyes. She was so
vibrant and excited all the time. It was addicting as much as it was annoying.
I caved and nodded, agreeing that she was right. This was the year. That something was going to happen.
The crazy part?
Less than twenty-four hours later, she was right.
I woke up out of a dead sleep at two-thirty-seven in the morning. My mouth was bone dry and my stomach said oh fuck as it set a ten second timer, allowing me a chance to run from the bedroom to the bathroom. As I fell to my knees and lifted the toilet seat lid, I thought about two things.
First, what did I eat last, because that would be coming up presently.
Second, I hoped that whoever used the toilet last flushed.
Lucky for me, number two wasn’t a problem and number one was mostly liquid.
That meant the rest of my night was spent half sleeping and half hanging off the side of my bed.
Just what I needed for my birthday - a touch of the stomach bug.
By morning I felt tired, weak, and annoyed.
Eve came bursting into the bedroom, took one look at me, and buried her mouth into her shirt.
“I’m sick,” I said. “Sorry.”
“You stay there,” she said. “I’ll bring food. Okay? I’ll take care of you.”
I had no energy to argue.
But I couldn’t complain. Eve came through all day for me.
There wasn’t much I could really eat until a little after noon. I kept down some homemade chicken soup and crackers. Then Eve brought another meal and said she had to leave for the day. The hotel room was already paid for.
“Any chance you want to come?” Eve asked.
“No. I’m really sorry. You did so much…”
“Consider it your birthday present,” Eve said. “I’m sorry if I put any bad vibes here.”
“You didn’t do a thing,” I said. “You did… everything. Good. For me. Not the best birthday but at least I know I can count on you.”
“See, and that’s how I know this year is going to be yours,” Eve said. “I promise you.”
I forced a smile.
I waited for her to leave before I finally wandered out of my bedroom.
For a quick little stomach thing, I sure felt like I had been out of commission for weeks. I made it to the table and crashed down.