by London Casey
I looked at the door and smirked.
I had found her. Finally.
I busted through the rooftop access door and climbed one more set of steps. These were narrow and metal. There was a small door at the top that I pushed open. It was a little heavy and squeaked, but nobody heard me make an entrance because of the music. There were some lights strung up on old antenna poles. A couple small tables. Drinks all around. And plenty of people. Dancing, laughing, standing on the roof, celebrating into the night.
I side stepped and took the entire thing in.
Then I saw her.
Standing at the edge of the roof, leaning forward.
Always fearless.
I was the tough guy, the bad boy in her life, but she was so fearless. That’s what sucked me into her. From the day I met her. I think I was the only thing that scared her because I was the only thing that could get inside her. And of course, I was just something else in her life that let her down and hurt her.
Damn, all I wanted to do was run up to her and slide my hands around her body. That damn body I watched changed for ten years now. From that geeky, awkward-looking girl who was thirteen, trying to look older and more beautiful, to a woman at eighteen, trying to figure out what that meant. To now, on her twenty-third birthday. A little more curve in her waist, which was not a problem for me. Her hair was longer. It looked a little lighter too. She probably had dyed it ten different colors since I last saw her.
I wanted to slip my hands around her and whisper into her ear.
Happy Birthday, Lily. My flower. I told you I’d be back.
But I just stood there.
She grabbed a drink off the ledge and took a sip. Someone came up to her. Another woman. They talked. Lily smiled. I knew that smile. That was a fake smile. She didn’t want to have this little party. Something else was weighing on my mind.
Maybe it was the flower I left for her.
The woman grabbed her by the hands and pulled away from the ledge of the roof. She spun Lily around and let her go.
Lily laughed, her head falling back as she laughed.
I fucking loved when she did that.
She was my angel… and she was a little drunk. The more Lily drank, the harder she laughed. She was the opposite of me. When I drank, I went deep into my soul, looking for a fight with the demons inside me. Not Lily, though. She got drunk and just loved everything around her.
The song came to an end and another one began. Something else with a pop kind of beat. The kind of shit music that made it so hard for me to make a living doing what I did. But in that moment, I didn’t give a fuck about anything.
Lily started to dance.
Throwing her hair side to side, her arms slowly going into the air.
Her hips swaying so perfectly.
I just stood there, smiling like I hadn’t smiled in a long time. Even standing on stage in front of fans didn’t give me the feeling that Lily did. Nothing could ever compare to her.
The song kept going and so did Lily. She was in the middle of it all, her own birthday celebration, owning it. Bending her knees a little, going down and rising back up. Throwing her hair around like she had no care in the world. Moving to the beat of the music. I was half tempted to take a picture or video just to capture the moment and have it for the rest of my life.
That’s when I saw something from the corner of my eye.
A guy.
Some dude in a white t-shirt and jeans. Slicked-back hair. Glancing around as he approached the ledge. He walked right over to Lily’s drink and stood there. Slowly, casually, he brought his right hand forward and rubbed something between his thumb and pointer finger. From my distance I saw something fall into her drink.
He wiped his hand on his jeans and then grabbed the drink.
“Hey! Lily! You forgot your drink!”
I watched as the guy approached Lily.
“Fuck,” I whispered.
He was going to drug her. Then do… whatever he wanted to her…
To Lily.
To my Lily.
To my flower.
His hand touched her hip and I lost it.
I hurried forward as he pushed her to the side. I couldn’t hear a thing, just the sound of my blood pushing through my veins. My heart and head in a battle over what to do and how to do it. I wanted to grab this asshole by the throat and throw him over the rooftop. Then he’d never slip a fucking drug into a woman’s drink again.
He put the cup into Lily’s hand and touched her elbow, pushing, wanting her to lift the drink to her lips.
I got there just in time to throw two punches.
The first was at the cup, knocking it out of Lily’s hand before she could drink.
The second punch was at the guy’s face, square in the nose.
“FIGHT!” someone yelled.
I glanced at Lily and saw the look of shock spread across her face. Her eyes went wide first, then her mouth. Her hands slowly came up to her face.
I turned my head and saw the asshole back on his feet, face bleeding, charging at me. A second later his shoulder hit my stomach as he tackled me through a table. The music was cut and people started to shout. Some yelled for a fight. Some yelled for the police.
The asshole tried to hit me, but I threw my arm around him, getting him into a tight headlock. I rolled, taking control, and then broke away.
“Aiden?” Lily asked.
The asshole curled his lip as he started to stand.
I went in for the attack.
One right hook took him back down to the ground. A second one made sure he wouldn’t get up again for a little while. The third and fourth were for Lily. I brought back my fist for a fifth, knowing I’d probably end up killing the guy, when someone hooked my elbow and stopped me.
“Yo! Man!” some guy yelled.
I stopped and looked around.
In the distance I heard the wail of a siren.
I got to my feet.
Lily just stood there, staring at me like I was a ghost. As though only she could see me. But I was real. Fucking real.
“Get your cup,” I said to her. I pointed to the ground. “Nobody touch that stuff on the ground. He slipped something into your drink, Lily. I watched him. You tell the cops that. Make them test it. Make sure this prick goes to jail.”
“You’re going to go to jail,” Lily said. “For attacking him.”
I growled under my breath.
I lunged forward, getting close to her. I put my left hand to her hip.
Fuck, the fire that it set off in my body…
I put my cheek to hers.
Such soft skin she had.
She smelled like some cheap body lotion or something.
But it was how I remembered her.
She was perfect. She was beautiful.
“I’ll be back,” I whispered. “Tell the cops what I said. I fucking saw him do it. He was trying to drug you, Lily.”
The sirens echoed louder.
I turned and darted for the access door.
Once again, I had to make a daring escape out of Lily’s life.
Chapter 6
(Don’t Do It (I Did It))
10 YEARS AGO
(LILY)
The entire night turned into a shock.
I tried to replay everything in my head.
I sat on a lawn chair on the roof of the building. Eve sat next to me, sucking on cigarette after cigarette as though something had happened to her. I’d later find out the reason she was so panicky around the police was because she had some drugs in her purse and was terrified they were going to search her.
I kept thinking hard, though.
Standing at the edge of the roof, I put my drink down. I looked out and wondered about things. What things? Well, the police didn’t need to know my thoughts, but personally, I was a mess inside. I knew the flower was from Aiden. The lily on my windshield. But I hated the idea that he would have come back after five years just to do that. I freaked
out because I wondered if he swung by the office while I was with someone or in the break room eating that shitty cake.
I had tried so hard to keep up with him online. Following his band. But they really weren’t super huge. It was hard to find them. Their web site really wasn’t functioning, either. There were sporadic dates for shows. I wished there was an easier way to keep track of him. Then again, he was the one that took off. Five years ago, he took my last sliver of innocence and then fled into the night. Whispering sweet words to me while I was asleep, making me feel like I was just dreaming. Only to wake up and have him gone.
The music had been playing behind me. I knew I needed to just throw caution to the wind and have fun. Eve worked hard to get a bunch of people on the roof with drinks, food, and music. She literally went through the building and invited everyone up to the roof.
Eve came to talk to me and I left my drink on the ledge. She pulled me to dance and I said fuck it and just started to dance. I already had more than a few drinks in me which made my brain convince my body I knew how to dance and that it didn’t matter people were watching me.
That’s when someone came up behind me.
Neil.
He was just one of those guys that was always around. Somehow a friend of a friend kind of thing. He touched my waist and then handed me my drink. I wasn’t sure if Neil was actually good looking or not but the way he touched me clearly spoke with intention.
“Excuse me, Lily?”
I looked up at one of the officers there. His name tag read Harper.
I quickly stood up.
Next to me, Eve lit up another cigarette and her legs were bouncing.
Amazing that I was the calm one.
Then again, I was in shock.
Not from what Neil tried to do to me…
“I just want to make sure we have everything here,” Officer Harper said. “If you don’t mind, just one more time…”
“I was holding my cup.”
“The cup he gave you?” Officer Harper asked with a head nod toward Neil.
Neil stood way off to the side in handcuffs, dried blood on his face.
“Yes,” I said.
“Then what happened?”
“Someone punched the cup out of my hand. Next thing I knew they were fighting.”
“They?”
“Neil and…” Aiden, I thought to myself, “the guy… who saved me.”
“A few people said you screamed for Aiden?”
I swallowed hard.
I thought about Aiden at thirteen. Always in trouble with the cops. I thought about Aiden at eighteen. Again, in trouble with the cops. If I gave his name up now it could be the final thing to put him away for a long time.
“I thought he looked like someone I knew,” I said. Not quite a lie. “But he… he was different. I hadn’t seen this guy in five years. Last time I saw him was on my birthday. My mind was thinking about him. So, I thought I saw him. Stupid.”
“Right,” Officer Harper said. “What happened after the fight?”
“The guy who saved me… he jumped up and took off. I don’t know… I was in shock by then. He started yelling that he saw Neil put something in my drink. I think maybe he was afraid he would get arrested for hitting Neil? I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Officer Harper nodded. I swore he could see right through me.
“Well, this is what we know,” he said. “We have several witnesses who say they heard exactly what you told me. Now, the drink that spilled… there’s nothing we can do about that. However, we did find a few things in his pockets that correlate with your story. Ever hear of the date rape drug?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“He’s going to be taken in. And we will take things from there. Now, are you positive you did not have anything to drink?”
“No, I feel fine,” I said.
Paramedics had already been there just in case. Everyone had been questioned and monitored, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. Just a bunch of drunks trying to have fun.
“If you need anything else or think of anything else, give us a call,” Officer Harper said.
That finally ended the interaction between me and the authorities.
Neil was taken away.
The party was officially over.
Everyone left with a stunned and sad look on their face. For me, none of it had really sunken in yet. I just kept thinking about Aiden.
Eve brought me a drink. “Here. It’s clean.”
I looked up at her. “That’s not funny.”
“Right. Sorry. Lily… I fucked up. I fucked up your entire birthday.”
“No, you didn’t,” I said. “Neil did.”
“I’m creeped out. Bad.”
“So am I.”
“What if he did that to other people?” she asked. “What if… me…”
“Don’t try to think too much about it,” I said, halfheartedly. “We should just call it a night. Okay?”
“I’ll sleep on your couch,” Eve said. “It’s the least I could do.”
“No,” I said. “Forget about that. I’m fine. I really just…” I stood up. “I want to be alone.”
I need to think about Aiden. I need to figure out how he found me. I need to figure out how I can find him. Or is he already on the run?
“Was that really him?” Eve asked.
“What?”
“That guy. The one who punched Neil. He knew you. You said his name. You lied to the police for him. That’s… him. You talked about him a few times. That was him.”
I slowly nodded. “I haven’t seen him in five years. I have no idea what he was doing here.”
“Well, he saved your ass. And you have every right to be mad at me. You should be mad at me.”
“I’m not fucking mad at you,” I snapped.
Then there was silence.
Eve slowly put her drink down. She took a deep breath. Her arms slowly slipped around me as she hugged me.
“Happy birthday,” she whispered. “If you need anything, please call me. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”
“Eve…”
She broke away and walked to the door.
I wasn’t going to turn around and chase after her. I was the one who’d had the fucked-up night. The fucked-up birthday. Fucking Aiden showing up.
I sat there in the skeletons of the makeshift birthday party. I played everything out in my head. From the second I spotted the lily flower on my windshield to the moment Aiden came out of nowhere and punched that cup out of my hand. I looked at the ground and saw the cup still there. The booze and the drug had long since dried to the concrete, but I could still see it in my head.
I didn’t move. I sipped my drink - a so-called mixed drink that was ninety-five percent vodka.
I wasn’t sure how long I was there for. Maybe ten minutes. Maybe two hours.
I heard the door behind me squeak open. It shut with a heavy thud.
I didn’t bother to look back, though.
No need.
It was probably Eve still poking around. Or someone from the building to see what had happened on the roof. Someone getting drugged on the roof would be huge news for the apartment. Or maybe it was another cop. Or the super in the building ready to explode at the mess.
Whoever it was, they didn’t speak.
They simply walked to the chair next to me and sat down.
It took me a few seconds to realize that.
I looked to my left and my jaw dropped. My heart tripled in beats. The cup of mostly vodka slid out of my hand and hit the ground, spilling what was left.
I opened my mouth but there were no words.
Aiden looked at me and said, “Happy Birthday, Lily.”
I managed one word.
“Aiden.”
“My flower,” he said and reached for my hand. He stroked his pointer finger down my hand and then pulled it away. “Is everything okay here now?”
I nodded. “They took him away.”
“You knew who it was?”
“Yeah. A friend of a friend. They found pills in his pocket. I had no idea…”
“I know,” Aiden said. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I left my drink just sitting there.”
“At your birthday party,” he said. “Not some random club or bar. That guy is a fucking asshole, Lily. You do not blame yourself for anything.”
“You saved me, Aiden.”
“I did. I told you I would.”
“Five years later…”
Aiden nodded. He looked forward. Then he stood up and walked to the ledge.
That’s when I got the strength to stand.
He was here. He was really here.
It was amazing how much life had changed in five years. When I was eighteen I knew everything about the world. Now at twenty-three, I knew nothing. At eighteen, I wanted to be on my own and live happily. Now I wished I was home where there had been a glimmer of happiness. More than that… at eighteen I could call my mother and talk to her. Which I did when Aiden left. I confessed everything to her and she held me as I cried. She taught me how to be strong. Now? If I wanted to talk to her, it was a one-sided conversation. She didn’t respond. And she never would.
Aiden spun around.
He was in a white t-shirt. A brown leather jacket that hung off his shoulders. The shirt was tight against his muscular body. His transition from boy to man had happened a long time ago. Aiden could go into a bar at fifteen and get served, and not just because he knew the bartender. He was forever handsome, now rugged and sexy. His hair was messy, longer than it had been before.
He always had this bad boy swagger about him and a smile that matched. But it was his eyes that got to me, from day one. The way he looked at me just proved how he felt. There were girls and women that would give anything to be with him. I grew up with it. Being sixteen years old, trying to understand how I felt, watching these college girls that were twenty-one, half naked, desperate for Aiden. And he would just ignore them, his eyes locked on me.
That was my Aiden.
“You’re back,” I whispered.
“I owe you a lot of words here, Lily.”
I stepped forward. I bit my bottom lip.