Ice: A Reed Security Romance

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  “If I have to spend one more day with this woman, I may actually kill her,” I grumbled as we waited for Aria Thompson to exit the master suite. “That’s what you said about Lindsey and look how that turned out,” Jules pointed out. “This woman, I may actually kill. If I have to take her to the bathroom one more time for a makeup check, I may just throw her out the window and say it was an ex-boyfriend.” “It wouldn’t be that farfetched,” Chris shrugged. “I’ve spent half the time with her that you have and I wouldn’t blame someone for shoving a knife in her gut.” “Just so everyone knows, after this assignment, I’m taking a permanent leave of absence from being the close protection agent.” Aria walked down the staircase like she was royalty and we were her minions. I just had to keep reminding myself that this was the last night we had to be on her protection detail. Tomorrow we would be heading home and I would never have to see her face again. “Boys, are we ready to go?” Boys. The woman was fucking clueless. She thought of us all as her personal playboys instead of the deadly weapons we actually were. If she only knew, I highly doubt she would be walking around with us. “The SUV is outside.” “Did you check for bombs?” she asked worriedly. I internally rolled my eyes. The woman was a drama queen and as far as I could see, the only enemies she had were bitchy actresses that were vying for the same movie roll as her. “The vehicle is clean,” Chris said sharply. “But how can you be sure? You’re all up here.” Chris held up his phone. “We have monitoring systems on the vehicle. We swept it early and have been monitoring ever since.” She pursed her lips, obviously displeased with that answer, but she didn’t say anything else as we made our way downstairs. We arrived outside the event center twenty minutes later and sat through the most boring awards ceremony where Aria accepted some kind of diva award. Her fake tears and personality were enough to make me want to slit my throat. “Ice, we have incoming. The ex is making his way inside,” Chris said over coms. “Has he spotted her?” I asked as I walked with Aria back to her seat. “Yeah, looks like he’s avoiding her.” “John, I need to use the ladies room,” Aria said primly. I guided her to the bathroom and waited outside as she primped and fluffed for the next fifteen minutes. She was just walking out of the bathroom when the ex walked out into the lobby. She hadn’t seen him yet, but if she did, she would surely make a scene. There were reporters everywhere just waiting for the next scoop. I grabbed onto her arm and started dragging her back to the auditorium, but she kept glancing around at the reporters, waving and giving her fake smile. My eyes kept darting to the ex, praying to God that she didn’t see him and cause a scene. The night was almost over and I just wanted this to end smoothly. I almost had her to the door when she spun around suddenly. I saw him in my peripheral, his eyes wide as he tried to hide from her. I didn’t think. I just acted. Grabbing her around the waist, I pulled her against me and smashed my lips to hers, keeping my eyes on the ex boyfriend the whole time. The look of relief on his face was palpable and he quickly made his exit out the front door. When I was sure he was gone, I pulled back, but it was too late. There were stars in her eyes and it was only then that I realized that she had wrapped her leg around my ass showing way more thigh than was appropriate. Flashes went of all around us, catching the moment on camera. I was fucked. That wasn’t how I planned on that going. Aria started purring as she ran her hands up and down my chest. There was no fucking way I was going back inside there with her now. “Chris, Jules. Time to go,” I said harshly. I dragged her for the exit, glad when I saw Chris pulling up in the SUV and Jules right on my six. I ushered her quickly into the back of the SUV, shoving her off me when she tried to straddle my lap. Chris eyed me in the rearview mirror, a look of disgust on his face. “Sit down and buckle your damn seatbelt,” I barked at her. “Baby, you don’t have to be like that,” she purred. “Get the fuck off of me now or I’ll drop your ass on the curb.” “Ooh, feisty. I like that in a man.” The woman was off her fucking rocker. When we pulled up to the hotel, I had Jules and Chris usher her inside while I took a breather, trying to figure out how the hell to do damage control. When I finally headed upstairs, Chris was glaring at me from the kitchen. “Where is she?” “Upstairs. She told me to let you know that she would be waiting. Naked.” “Fuck,” I swore as I ran my fingers through my hair. “That did not go as planned.” “So, you weren’t planning on ramming your tongue down her throat?” “You saw that?” “Nope. You’re trending on Twitter, Instagram, and People magazine.” “Fuck,” I shouted. “You don’t think Lindsey will see that, do you?” “Nah,” he waved me off. “I’m sure that she’s totally blind to all social media and this will just be another old story by tomorrow.” “You think?” I said hopefully. “No, asshole. I think you just royally fucked up and no amount of begging is going to get you out of this one. What the fuck were you thinking?” “I was thinking that her ex-boyfriend was there and I was trying to avoid a big scene.” “Well, congratulations. You kept the ex away and just became one yourself.” “Look, I didn’t mean for that to happen. My instincts just took over and I reacted.” “Yeah, but you’re not single anymore. You can’t pull that shit if you want to keep Lindsey. Do you really think she’s going to care that you were doing your job?” “I’ll explain. There were extenuating circumstances,” I fumbled for some reasoning. “And those extenuating circumstances were you thinking like you used to and not the man who has a woman waiting at home for him.” Jules walked into the room and grinned at me. “Nice. She’s hot. I’ll admit, I didn’t think you’d go for someone like her. She’s a total bitch, but I guess looks can still turn your head.” “They didn’t turn my head. I’m not going to fuck her. I just…” Yelling up at the ceiling, I pulled at my hair until I felt like I would rip it from my head. “This is so fucking bad.” “Look,” Chris sighed. “You have to just explain to Lindsey what happened. Apologize and tell her it’ll never happen again. If you’re smart, you’ll call her and head it off now.” “You want me to do this over the phone?” I asked incredulously. “If you wait, she has time to really let this sink in and fester. You don’t want her coming up with her own story. You need to take care of this shit now. And stay the fuck away from Aria until we leave tomorrow. Jules can handle her.” “What? Aw, damn. That’s just mean,” Jules griped. I nodded to Chris and walked out of the room, pulling my phone and dialing Lindsey’s number. “Hey, John,” she said excitedly. My chest ached with what I had to tell her. “Hey, princess. How are you?” “Good. I’m excited for you to come home. Are you still leaving tomorrow?” “Yeah, we’ll be dropping off the client at the airport at nine tomorrow morning and then we’re heading home.” “Good. I can’t wait to see you.” I could practically hear her smiling through the phone. I took a deep breath and pulled together my courage. “Lindsey, there’s something I have to tell you.” “Okay,” she said hesitantly. I tried. I fucking tried so hard, but the words just wouldn’t leave my mouth. I couldn’t do this to her, not over the phone. I needed to see her so she could see that it really didn’t mean anything. “I love you,” I choked out. “I love you too, John.” “I’ll see you tomorrow, princess.” I ended the call and hung my head in shame. “You fucking pussy,” Chris snapped from behind me. “She’s gonna find out and when she does, she’s gonna wonder why you didn’t tell her when you talked to her.” “I couldn’t do it. I need to see her face to face and explain. This isn’t the way to do this.” “There’s no fucking way to do this,” he bit out. “It shouldn’t have fucking happened to begin with, but you need to be honest with her and the sooner the better.” “I can’t.” It barely passed my lips. I just couldn’t bring myself to look at him. “She’ll hate me. She’s the first woman I’ve loved, like really, really loved. I can’t fuck this up.” “You already did,” he said as he turned and walked away.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  Walking through the door the next night, I knew I was in trouble. Lindsey was sitting on the couch with tears streaming down her face. Her eyes were swollen and her nose was red. Fuck, she had be
en crying for a while. And it was all my fault. When I dropped my bag in the door, I stared at her in shame, trying to come up with something to say to her. You’d think I would have come up with something on the trip home, but all I could think about was how much I had let her down. “Hey,” I said dumbly. “Was this what you were trying to tell me last night?” she said sadly as she held out her phone. There was a huge picture of me kissing Aria. It was clear it was me and even if there was any doubt, the other pictures of me walking next to her in the same clothes confirmed I was the man in the picture. “It’s not what it looks like.” “I’ve heard that before,” she said, referring to when she woke up with me inside her. “This is nothing like that. I just…” I ran my hand over the scruff of my beard as I tried to come up with some intelligent reason for why I had done what I’d done. “I didn’t want to kiss her.” “But you did,” she said quietly. “It wasn’t like that. She was going to cause a scene.” “And you thought you’d stop her with your tongue?” she said sharply. “I didn’t think. I just reacted-” “You just did what you would have done if I wasn’t in the picture. You didn’t even consider me.” I walked over to her and sat down beside her on the couch, taking her hand in mine. “Look, I swear it didn’t mean anything.” She huffed out a laugh and pulled her hand from mine. “It didn’t mean anything to you,” she shook her head. “But it broke my heart.” “I’m so fucking sorry. I never wanted…She was an annoying bitch that just wanted some attention and-” “And you thought the best way to shut her up was by kissing her? Using your good looks and charm to get your way? I seem to recall you doing the same thing to me.” “That was before I knew you. I was trying to… you wouldn’t fucking listen. I didn’t want you getting hurt,” I said angrily. This was not going how I wanted. I thought that if I could look at her, I could get her to see what really happened. That she would see how much I loved her and everything would be fine. “How many more times will you use that tactic? John, you may not have meant to kiss her, but you did. And you didn’t even consider me. I’m supposed to be the woman you love and you put your job over us.” “When I’m out there, I have to put the job first. I have to make sure things go the way I need to or people could get hurt.” “And how far does that go?” “What do you mean?” “How far are you willing to take it?” she asked with tear-filled eyes. “Would you sleep with someone to keep them safe?” “Hell no. I would never do something like that.” “How do I know that, John? I never thought you would kiss another woman while we were together, but I was wrong about that.” “I need you to trust me, Lindsey. I was just doing my job. I would never intentionally hurt you.” “Intentional or not, you did hurt me. You didn’t think about what it would do to us and that’s the part that hurts the most. I was an afterthought.” “You are never an afterthought,” I insisted. “As soon as it happened, my first thought was that I had fucked up and I didn’t know what I was going to say to you. I thought if I could talk to you face to face that I would be able to get you to see that you’re the only woman for me.” “You should have told me last night. You should have warned me. Do you know what it was like to see this? To know that while I was back here, planning what we could do this weekend, you were off kissing another woman?” “I swear, Lindsey…” My voice cracked. This wasn’t going at all how I had hoped. I didn’t know what to say to make her see how much she meant to me. I knew I had fucked up, but there had to be a way around this. It wasn’t like I had gone out and kissed another woman because I wanted to. “Please, you have to believe me. This is not what I wanted.” “The problem is, I don’t know if I will ever trust you again. What am I supposed to do when you go on another protection detail? Am I supposed to just believe that this would never happen again?” “Yes, you fucking trust me because you know that I love you and will never fuck up like this again. We have something good going here-” “And you just threw it all away!” she yelled. “No…Lindsey, I’ve been alone so long. I’m not used to answering to someone else. I always do what I need to on a job without thinking of anyone but myself and what’s best for the job. But as soon as I did that,” I pointed to her phone, “I just knew that I couldn’t think that way anymore. I know I fucked up and I know you hate me right now, but we can work through this.” “No, John. You broke my trust and that’s not something I can just come back from with an apology. I have to know that when you go out on a job that you won’t screw me over. I have to know that you’re always thinking about how to get home to me. I have to know that you’re not just thinking about yourself and the best way to handle a job. I don’t need you to make your decisions all around me, but I have to trust that I factor in, and I don’t trust you right now.” She stood and headed for the bedroom. I swallowed down my fear and followed her. I couldn’t let things end like this. I couldn’t let them end at all. I loved her and I knew she was the one I wanted to spend my life with. I had been an ass taking so long to find my way with her, but we had found our way and I wouldn’t lose that now. “Lindsey,” I said as I walked into the bedroom. She was throwing clothes in a bag, packing up everything she could. “Don’t do this. This isn’t over between us.” “That’s where you’re wrong, John. This was over the minute your lips touched hers.” She zipped up her bag and flung it over her shoulder, stalking out of the bedroom. I couldn’t move. I wanted to follow her. I wanted to beg her. I just didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t comprehend how this had all gotten so fucked up in just a matter of minutes. The door slammed and a minute later, her car was roaring out of my driveway. I sat down on the edge of the bed and scrubbed a hand over my face. What the fuck did I do now?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Lindsey

  DRIVING TO MY house in town, I cried and thought back over the last few months with John. I had known all along that he would never commit. I knew that he liked to be alone. Why had I let myself believe that I could be different? I should have seen this coming. A man like John is too good looking for his own good. Did he ever really love me or was I just a passing amusement? I pulled into the driveway and pulled my bag from the car, trudging inside. Jake came around the corner, frowning when he took in my face. I probably looked like a wreck, but I couldn’t bring myself to care right now. All I wanted was to curl up in a ball and forget that anyone else existed. “What happened?” Jake asked. “I don’t want to talk about it.” He nodded and grabbed my bag, heading upstairs. “Come on. You can take the air mattress.” “I don’t want to take your bed. I’ll just sleep on the floor.” “There’s not a chance in hell that I would let a woman sleep on the floor while I took the bed. Even if you were my worst enemy, I would still make you sleep on the bed.” We walked into the room and I remembered my first night with John, how he had let me sleep on the floor because he just didn’t give a fuck when I fought him on it. Should that have been my first sign that he was an asshole? “The bed is big enough. You just stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine,” I said wearily. He nodded and went to the bathroom, changing into his pajamas. I did the same when he was done and plopped down on the bed, too exhausted emotionally to do anything else. It wasn’t really time for bed, but I couldn’t think of doing anything else. I just wanted to sleep and forget this day ever happened. Jake turned off the light and came to bed. I chuckled to myself when I saw that even his pajamas were plaid. I laid in the dark and stared up at the ceiling, wishing I could forget the picture of him kissing her, but every time I closed my eyes, that was all I saw. For the first time in a long time, I felt truly loved by someone other than my grandmother and that was all gone now. I was all alone again and now I would have to live in the same town as him. I would have to watch him move on to someone else or start whoring around. Tears poured from my eyes as my chest ached, like a knife stabbing me in the heart. Each breath was harder than the last until I was sobbing uncontrollably. Arms wrapped around me and held me close. Pulling me to his chest, Jake ran his fingers through my hair, trying to soothe me. I was grateful for the shoulder to cry on. I was grateful that tonig
ht I wasn’t alone.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  “Out of bed,” Jake said as he pulled the covers off me. “You can’t wallow in bed all day. It’s time to get up and start working on the house. We have a ton of work to do today.” “I don’t want to,” I groaned. My head was pounding from crying so much and my eyes felt swollen shut. “Too bad. I’m not going to let you stay in bed when you could be moving on.” “You know?” “Saw it on the internet this morning.” He shrugged and glanced toward the window. “I don’t know what happened, but obviously if you’re here, it wasn’t something you could work out.” I snorted and shook my head. “Not a chance.” “Alright, then get your ass up and get moving. Sitting in bed isn’t going to take your mind off your problems.” I groaned but climbed out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom. After taking a shower, I dressed in my work clothes and met Jake in the kitchen for a quick breakfast. We got to work soon after and it wasn’t long before I was focusing on our project and forgetting about my problems. That is, until John showed up at my door. “What are you doing here?” I asked. “I needed to talk to you. We need to work through this.” “We can’t,” I said, baffled that he thought he could just make this all better. “We can, but you have to let me explain. You have to let me talk this out with you.” “You explained enough yesterday,” I said angrily. “I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore.” “They’re not fucking excuses. I’m not saying that what I did was okay. I just want to sit down and talk about this like adults.” “John, that would have been something we might have been able to do if you had told me right away, but you didn’t tell me. You let me get blindsided. You let me think the worst and then your explanation wasn’t much better.” “Fuck, Lindsey.” He looked at me desperately, his eyes pleading with me to listen, but I had nothing left to say. He broke my heart and I wouldn’t sit around and wait for it to happen again. “I’m sorry, John. This isn’t going to work. I know what I’m capable of dealing with and this isn’t something I can do.” My heart broke as I said the words. The tears welled again and my legs felt like they would give out at any second. “I can’t put my trust in you again. I can’t pretend like I won’t be thinking about this every time you go to work.” “What do you want me to do? Quit my job? That won’t solve anything.” “No, it won’t and I would never ask that of you. But you can’t expect me to just get over this.” “I’m not asking you to. I’m asking for you to talk this through with me. I’m asking you to not walk away without trying to work this out.” “I can’t.” “You can’t or you won’t?” “I can’t because my heart can’t take another beating right now and I won’t because I know it won’t change anything.” “Don’t do this to us. Don’t throw us away.” “You already did!” I yelled. “You threw us away when you kissed her.” “I didn’t want to,” he pleaded. “But you did. You broke my heart and for what? To do your job? I won’t let you do this to me again. I won’t give you the chance.” “You have to,” he pleaded, stepping into my space and cradling my face in his hands. His eyes burrowed into me, digging for a place in my heart, but it had already iced over. “Please,” he whispered hoarsely. “Don’t give up on us. What we have is real.” He kissed me softly on the lips and then across my face to my ear. “Please, give me a chance to make this right,” he whispered in my ear. “I love you so fucking much. We can work this out.” “No, we can’t,” I said, taking a step back from him. A tear slipped down his cheek and I wanted so badly to reach out and touch him, but I couldn’t allow myself to do anything that might drag me back into his embrace. I couldn’t hold out against him if he kept touching me. His lip quivered and he shook his head slightly. “I won’t give up,” he grit out. “I won’t ever give up.” “You will and a lot sooner than you think,” I said as I shut the door in his face. I rested my forehead against the door, letting my emotions wash over me, the devastation that I felt inside. I felt Jake’s hand on my shoulder and turned to him with tears in my eyes. “Are you sure about this?” I nodded, not able to speak at the moment and he nodded, but I saw the way he glanced outside. I saw the look in his eyes, like he wanted me to change my mind, but he wouldn’t ask. “Come on. We have a lot of work to do.” I walked away from the door and away from John. I had to forget about him or it would tear my heart to shreds all over again.