Letters To Luca

by M. R. Joseph

  “Well, I was thinking, I need to take you to the medical center because you were unconscious. Is that ok?”

  I am still a little dizzy so I don’t protest. “Ok. I’m going to call my brother and Grace to let them know what happened. I’m staying with Grace until I find a more permanent place of my own.”

  He nods and taps his fingers on the steering wheel. Those fingers were just touching me, and I think about how lucky that steering wheel is.

  “Actually, that’s what I was talking to Wes about earlier. I have a rental available if you would like to take a look at it. Wes did most of reconstruction on the quad for me and he knew I had just lost my renters. Would you like to see it when you’re more up for it?”

  Seriously, he wants to show me one of his rental properties because my brother called and told him I was looking for a place? I can’t even give my brother an earful because he has no idea about the letters or how in love with Luca I once was. This is all too much for me. My head is pounding and I need sleep. I dial Wes and he answers on the second ring.

  “Hi Wes, it’s Leighton.”

  “Hey, Leightybug. What’s up? You ok?”

  “Yes, I’m fine, but I’m on my way to the medical center to get my head checked out. I got hit with a runaway door on the street outside of Lucky’s, and I have a nice gash on my head.”

  “Lucky’s? Why were you at Lucky’s? Did you run into Luca Ferro?”

  I look over at Luca and his eyes are still on the road. “Um, yes, sort of. It was the door at Lucky’s that hit me. Luca carried me in and put ice on my head, but I’m still a bit lightheaded, so he insisted on bringing me.”

  Luca looks over at me and holds out his hand for the phone. “May I speak with him, please?” I handed him the phone.

  “Wes, man, I’m so sorry. The front door to the restaurant is broken again and I kind of ran into it. The damn door went flying open just as she was walking by and nailed her right in the head.” There was a bit of silence so I figured Wes was doing the talking.

  “Yes. Of course, Wes. I’ll see you there. Bye, man.”

  He hangs up and hands me the phone.

  “What did he say to you?” I asked.

  “He just said to take care of you and that he would meet us there as soon as he could come. You feeling ok?” I put my hand to my aching forehead and feel a nice knot forming under the cut.

  “I’m fine. Just a little dizzy and I have a headache, so I’m glad I’m going to get checked out.”

  He turns briefly towards me and says in a low voice, “I am too.”

  My heart immediately pounds in my chest and my throat is dry. I am sitting in a car, next to Luca Ferro. Luca fucking Ferro! My Luca. Well, not mine per say, but the one I poured my heart and soul out to.

  I look at him out of the corner of my eye. I can see a trace of a tattoo under the short sleeve of his polo shirt. I can’t make out what it is, but I’d love to see the whole thing. Wait, no I wouldn’t. What’s wrong with me?

  I gave up on the dream of Luca Ferro a long time ago. Except when I dreamt about him, which I mistakenly thought I was doing a half hour ago. The thoughts of me kissing him entered my brain. The warmth of his tongue caressing mine left a tingle still simmering within me. I feel the blush in my cheeks rise up.

  “I’m sorry again for kissing you. I really thought I was dreaming.”

  He chuckled and glanced over at me from the road. “Well, you must have some pretty awesome dreams then if you get confused between dreams and reality. And, um, I… I’m not sorry it happened..” His eyes were still on the road but he managed to grin as he drove.

  I silently prayed.

  Dear God, spirit in the sky, have mercy on me and tell me I heard what I think I just heard. He is not sorry I kissed him? Please, Lord, don’t let it be the possible concussion I have that is making me hear things. I’ll be a good girl. I promise. No more sleeping with married men, no more tequila Tuesdays, no more late night shopping sprees on QVC, I’ll write children’s books and forget the smut. Amen.

  Did I seriously just say that? What the hell is wrong with me? I don’t know this girl and I’m telling her I didn’t mind her kissing me? Truth be told, I didn’t mind. Actually it was fantastic and very unexpected. I don’t think I’ve ever been kissed like that. She kissed me like she knew me like she’s done it a thousand times before. The way her lips felt on me and the way her tongue invaded my mouth, it was familiar somehow. I didn’t want it to end, but I needed to pull away with James, Adrianna, and Fab watching. I don’t even know her.

  I mean that hasn’t stopped me before at a club or at a party. I’ve hooked up with girls on a whim, but that kiss went from her lips to mine like we were conducting electricity off each other. I can still feel the warmth of her lips on me.

  I really want to stare at her, study every inch of her face, but I can’t. She’ll sense me staring, plus I’m driving. I’ll just have to use my peripheral vision. The curve of her chin, the tip of her slightly sloped nose, and the rose colored lips that were on me not too long ago are begging to be touched again. The natural curve of them actually pouts. The bottom one protrudes out slightly more than the top. I can see her tongue dart out every once in a while to lick her bottom lip. Damn, that’s sexy. Her eyelashes are so long that I can see them in her profile. I’m for some reason praying for a red light so I can linger on her features for a while longer. Finally a red light offers me an opening to drink in her features. I try to act casual with my conversation so I can study her.

  “So, Leighton, tell me, what do you do for work in Philadelphia?” Please turn your head and look my way before this fucking light turns green.

  “I am an editor at a magazine called The Ben.”

  “What’s the magazine about and why is it called The Ben?” I ask as I notice the way a smile emerges when she talks about her job but it is followed quickly with an emptiness in her eyes.

  “It’s after Ben Franklin. The magazine showcases all sorts of things around Philadelphia. Restaurants, venues for events, local merchants, celebrities.”

  She is doing that lickity thing with her lip again. Why is she doing that? It’s a major turn on. It’s affecting me in a way that I can’t explain.

  “That sounds really cool. So, how long are you in town for?”

  “As of right now, indefinitely. I took an extended leave of absence from my job.” The hollowed look in her eyes return and I wonder what or who put it there.

  I wonder what happened. I’m not going to pry, but she sounded sad when she just told me that. Her perfume invades my head with its sweet flowery essence. The air conditioning from the car is circulating it. Christ, who is she? Who is Leighton Parks? We went to school together and you can bet your ass I’ll be digging out my yearbook when I get home tonight.

  “So your brother tells me we went to high school together at Oceansands. I apologize, but I don’t really remember you. Did you play sports?” She chuckles at my obviously off the mark question.

  “No, no sports. I was more into other types of things in school.” She starts to fidget in her seat like the conversation is making her uncomfortable. That of course makes me all the more curious about her.

  “Choir? Band? Theater?” I can’t really imagine what else she could have been involved in.

  “Nope. I was the editor of the school newspaper and the yearbook. I also did a lot of photography for both, as well as sporting events at school.”

  “Oh, really? Did you ever take my picture?” She’s not answering me. Maybe she did and I did something to upset her. “Leighton? Are you ok?”

  “Oh, yes. I’m sorry. I just wandered off for a second. Um, did I ever take a picture of you when we were in high school? Did you play sports?”

  “Yes. I was the pitcher for our team. I got drafted to the minors out of high school.” She’s looking like she hasn’t a clue as to what I’m talking about. “I blew out my elbow twice. That ended my career.”

  “I’m so
sorry to hear that Luca. I truly am. Do you still play at all?” She really does seem like she cares not just saying so to be polite. There is a kindness to her eyes that draws me in to her.

  “I coach Oceansand’s varsity team. I have for the past few years, so at least I’m still involved someway in the sport.”

  God, she’s easy to talk to. Even with a huge egg-like bump on her head, and her thick, black hair disheveled around her face, she is beautiful and still seems interested in what I have to say. What I really want to know is more about her, but right now the most important thing is getting her checked out. An hour ago, I thought I killed her with that damn door.

  “I’m very glad to hear that. How was this past season?”

  “We just won the championship so we were pretty stoked about the whole thing. I’m very proud of every single one of them.”

  When I stop the car she turns and looks at me, her eyes soft.

  “Luca, they should be proud of you for being such a great coach. It is easy to see how much your team means to you.” Her green eyes are in the shape of almonds. When she smiles, they sparkle, but I detect some kind of sadness in them. Not her smile though, that’s the thing that lights her whole face up. That fucking smile. I see Wes at the entrance of the Urgent Care facility and I turn to Leighton.

  “I really appreciate you saying that to me about them being proud. No one has ever said that.”

  “Well, I haven’t been home enough to know any better, but by the way you described yourself being so proud of your team, I’m guessing the feeling is mutual.”

  Our eyes meet and I can’t help to shift my focus to her lips, soft and full. I knew without a doubt, that kiss ended way too soon. Wes steps up to the car and the gaze is broken. I climb out and forgo shaking Wes’s hand as I dart to the passenger side to retrieve Leighton. When I open the door I extend my hand for her to take. She does placing her delicate hand in mine, but keeps her head down. Her hand is shaking, or is that mine. My strong grip pulls her slightly upwards and Wes is to my side ready to take her away. I don’t want her to go. It feels too soon as I wish for more time with her. Wes engulfs her in a hug.

  “Aw, Leightybug, that looks nasty.” He rubs her forehead then kisses it gently.

  “It looks worse than it is. Luca put ice on it right away so the swelling seems to have gone down.”

  Wes puts his hand out to shake mine.

  “Luca, thank you so much for taking good care of her. I really appreciate it.”

  “No need to thank me, she’s here because of me. I feel terrible. Damn door. Wes, do you think you can stop by whenever you can and fix it?”

  “Absolutely, and then you can show my sister the rental property, if you have time.”

  I totally forgot about that. I have to try and really convince her to live there. Not because it’s a great place, and it needs to be rented, but to see her every day would be the perfect way to get to know her more. This is the first girl in a long time I actually wanted to pursue. Why am I even thinking that?

  “Would you like me to stick around? I can find someone to cover me at the restaurant.” She gives me a tender smile.

  “No, thank you, but I know you need to get back. Wes is here. I appreciate everything you did for me Luca. I’ll have Wes call you once I’m all checked out.”

  With all the hope I had of staying around, she was dismissing me anyway. I could have James watch the place for me, but I won’t push it. I don’t want to seem too forward, but for the life of me, she has this pull and I can’t understand it. It’s confusing the shit out of me, and I can’t shake the familiarity of it all at the same time.

  “Ok. I understand. May I see your phone, please?”

  She looks at me oddly, but hands it over. I punch my number in her contacts and hand it back to her smiling.

  “Please, Leighton, call me when you are feeling better and I will bring you to see the rental property. Wes, make sure she does, ok?”

  I shake Wes’s hand again. “I will Luca, and thanks again.”

  I’m about to do something that in all my years, I would never think I would do, but sometimes you can’t help but to give in to the pull. I grab Leighton’s delicate hand and bring it to my lips.

  “Fino a quando ci incontrevemo dinuovo.” I let go of it, walk away, get into my car, and drive away from her and her brother. My heart is pounding out of my chest. I look in the rearview mirror and see her still standing there with her hand still suspended in the air where I kissed it.

  This woman is a mystery to me. I haven’t felt this way since, since…well never really. The only times my heart has actually felt like beating out of my chest is when I used to step to the pitcher’s mound, and when I received a letter. My letters. God, I feel like I’m cheating on her, on my letter girl, but maybe just maybe this is meant to be. I’ll never find her. Maybe I need to start moving on from letter girl. She left me. Why am I still holding on? Only time will tell, and a little bit more getting to know Leighton Parks might be just what I need to move forward.

  Wes turned to me and asked, “What did he say to you?

  “He said, until we meet again, in Italian.” I took a course or two in college so I knew what he said. I took the courses for Luca. I knew his family spoke Italian, and in my crazy mind, I figured If I spoke his language, It would make me feel closer to him my freshman year in college. I was away and I missed seeing him every day. I was so used to it in high school. I wrote him a few letters in Italian. They were short but sweet, and I wonder if he was affected by them.

  Wes took me into the ER. I’m not there too long. I have a cat-scan of my head, and they take blood. All of the results are clear. I am ok. They say I had a very mild concussion and to take it easy for a day or two. That was my plan, indefinitely.

  “So are you going to call Luca so you can see the rental, Leightybug?”

  I roll my eyes at my nickname. Do I want to move into Luca’s rental property? He was so close to me today. I smelled him, felt his hands on me, and his lips. I felt Luca’s lip on mine. I felt the smoothness of his tongue. I gathered his hair between my fingers. It was soft, and thick. The feeling was definitely a panty wetter. Oh, Lord have mercy, I dreamt of that man’s lips and hands on me for years and years. The reality of today is not comprehendible. I almost shit my pants when he asked if I had ever taken his picture in high school. Are you fucking kidding me! I had scrap books filled with pictures of him. I know, it’s stalkerish, but I was a woman in love. He’s my muse for all of my books. When I first began writing, I’d look at the pictures I had taken, and the stories came to life. He was my Carter, my Christopher, my Samuel. All of my male lead characters. They were just names, but they were my Luca. If I rented the place from him, I could pretend I needed this fixed and that fixed. He could come here when I needed him. He could come over in his tool belt, and work boots. He could fix my sink and oops, water splashes all over his shirt and he is soaked. He must take that off before he catches a chill. He slowly takes it off, revealing each defined muscle in his six pack of abs. All tight and tan, and if I had some dirty clothes I could scrub them on his belly and they would be all clean. I’d get a good look at those tattoos he has hidden and the desire to run my tongue across them would overtake me. Then I’d saunter up to him and start kneading his cock and balls with my hands. He’ll moan and throw his head back in ecstasy. “Oh God, Leighton, don’t stop, baby. Keep going. I love you so much, my darling.”

  Wait, my God, Leighton, what are you thinking? You’re not writing one of your fucking books. This little fantasy will never happen. That’s why you just write about them remember? Also, I’m never falling in love again. Love hurts, it stinks, and it’s messy. Case in point, Michael McLaughlin.

  “Hey, Leightybug? You in there? You seemed to have disappeared on me.” I turn to Wes and give him a reassuring smile.

  “I’m fine. Just tired. I need some rest. Grace is going to want to go out tonight since it’s Friday, but I’m not sure if I’m
up to it.”

  “Then don’t go. Stay in and rest. Grace will understand.”

  Wes pulls up to Grace’s apartment building and he grabs my hand before I get out.

  “Leighty, I know you won’t tell me what happened with work, and why you are being so secretive about it, but just know I love you, mom and dad love you, and we are always here for you. Whatever it is that is making you seem so sad, well, it’s breaking my heart. You need a fresh start and living on Grace’s couch isn’t going to help things. Call Luca about the rental. He’s a really nice guy. I did a lot of the work on the quad. It’s a stones throw to the beach. You will like it.”

  I sit here and listen to my brother’s words. I don’t want him to feel sad for me. I know I need to move on with all things Michael. He is in my past. Maybe it won’t be so bad moving into Luca’s rental. Maybe him and I could run into each other every so often. I could go to the beach every day and write. Do my little interviews for my books and live off my royalties. I’ll see what Grace’s opinion on it is.

  I give Wes a kiss on the cheek and thank him for staying with me and taking me home. I walk up to Grace’s second floor apartment. I use my key and open it to find one of my best friends bopping along to some Foo Fighters song and singing with a wooden spoon in her hand. Her wavy brown hair bouncing all over the place. I yell for her over the music.

  “Grace, Grace. GRACE!” She finally spins around startled and sees the bandage on my head. She runs to the stereo and shuts it off.

  “Leighton, what the fuck happened to you?” I plop down on the sofa or my bed, whatever you want to call it, and close my eyes.

  “Long story. I’ll tell you later.”

  “The fuck you will. You walk in here looking like hammered shit and with a bandage on your head and you say you will tell me later? Bull, spill it Parks.” If I don’t tell her the story, she will bug the ever living shit out of me.