Burn For Me: Into The Fire Series

by Croix, J. H.

  Only two days had passed since I’d almost lost my mind over him, and I’d wasted countless hours thinking about him. All I wanted was to see him again…and again and again. Somehow, we’d gotten to a place of sort of normal before he’d offered me a ride back to Willow Brook. I’d wanted—desperately wanted—to hide away at Quinn’s cabin with Cade and just forget about everything else. But it wasn’t that simple, and I damn well knew it. He might’ve brought me to the only orgasm I’d had with someone else in seven years, but that didn’t mean we’d managed to wade through the all the hurt from before.

  I was still trying to absorb what he’d told me on the drive back from Anchorage. I definitely got that he’d been hurt and angry I never even gave him a chance to explain. I’d been too damn angry to see him and talk to him. I’d shied away from thinking about any of it for most of the time. It hurt too much. Thinking about it now, I was tempted to start asking anyone who might know more about how stupid I’d been. Shannon had never once tried to talk to me before she moved away. I knew there would be a few people who might have the lowdown on why Shannon did what she did.

  “Yoohoo, you’re zoning out again,” Lucy said, waving her hand back and forth.

  I looked up from the table. “Huh?”

  Lucy rolled her eyes. “Okay. Time to chat,” she said matter-of-factly. “You walked out on Earl. I’m not gonna say…”

  “Oh, you can tell me you told me so. You did,” I said with a sad smile. Lucy had shared her concern more than once that Earl and I were, well, Lucy’s description for it was ‘like bland oatmeal.’

  Lucy smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I don’t want to tell you I told you so because I wish I’d been wrong. I’ve left you be since you showed up out of nowhere for work yesterday, but mind telling me how you’re doing?”

  I shrugged and rolled my hand back and forth. “Not great. I feel like shit. I decided I should at least face Earl right off when I got back to town the day before yesterday, but he wasn’t home.”

  Lucy leaned back in her chair when Janet approached our table. She set two coffees down and glanced between us. “Food?”

  “Just bring us the lunch special today,” Lucy said.

  “Two salmon burgers. Anything with them?” Janet returned.

  “Fries,” I added.

  “Got it,” Janet called as she spun away.

  Lucy took a sip of her coffee and angled her head to the side. “Earl’s not home because he took off on a fishing trip with his brother.” She didn’t succeed in masking the slight curl to her lip.

  Lucy had been pretty direct that she didn’t think Earl appreciated me for who I was. She hadn’t known me well when I’d been with Cade, so she hadn’t known how much I knew I was missing.

  I stared at her. “He went on a fishing trip?”

  Lucy sighed. “Uh huh. Amelia, I’d like to say the guy was crushed when you left him before he even got to the altar, but he wasn’t. He told his dad what happened, and they came out together to announce the wedding was off. While we were all wondering where the hell you were and your mom was freaking out, he told everyone to enjoy the reception next door. Next thing I heard, he’d left to go fishing with Dan.” Lucy ended with a shrug, her eyes scanning my face.

  I felt the sting in my heart. It would be flat ridiculous for me to feel heartbroken over learning my ex-fiancée had so easily accepted me walking out on our wedding. It hurt only in the sense that it reinforced all the reasons I’d bolted. If there was one question I’d like to ask Earl—when he returned from his flipping fishing trip—it would be what he’d wanted from being with me in the first place.

  “You okay?” Lucy asked.

  I took a gulp of my coffee. “I’m fine. It just sucks. It’s exactly why I couldn’t go through with marrying him. I wish like hell I’d come to my senses a lot sooner, but it is what it is.” I paused and glanced to the door when I heard the bells jingle its opening.

  A cluster of hikers entered. I couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit disappointed. I kept expecting to see Cade and beating back the hope every time I didn’t.

  “Okay, something else is up with you? I guess I figured the whole wedding-not wedding would be what’s on your mind, but that’s not it,” Lucy said, her eyes narrowing when I glanced back her way.

  I couldn’t hide the flush that heated my cheeks. Lucy didn’t say another word and angled her head to the side.

  I took another gulp of coffee, nearly slamming my mug down on the table.

  “Fine. I saw Cade.”

  “Cade Masters? The guy you were gaga over before. I barely knew him in high school, but it was impossible not to know who he was. All the girls drooled over him. I know about the whole ugly mess with your old friend Shannon. So what happened?”

  I closed my eyes and took a breath. “He happened to show up at the bar where I might’ve gotten in a fistfight,” I said, gesturing to my fading black eye.

  Fortunately, the guy who’d punched me had shitty aim. He’d connected with my face, but his fist had slid off of my cheek after a glancing blow. The bruising wasn’t too bad and already fading.

  Lucy’s eyes widened. “You know, I should win some serious points for keeping my mouth shut on that. I took one look at you and knew there was a story, but I figured you’d tell me in good time. You started a fight, got a black eye and your old boyfriend showed up to rescue you?”

  “That about sums it up.”

  Lucy circled her hand in the air. “Oh, you’re not even close to done. What else happened?”

  My mind flashed to the hot, mind-bending, heart-clenching moments at the cabin. Just thinking about it sent heat sliding through my veins. I looked over at Lucy and sighed. “Maybe a little bit more. I’m all mixed up,” I said, my voice cracking at the end.

  The teasing gleam disappeared from Lucy’s eyes. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s been a bumpy few days for you. I didn’t mean…” She paused when Janet arrived to serve our food.

  I was relieved at the interruption. I was also beyond grateful Lucy was the kind of friend she was. Lucy intuitively knew when someone needed space and didn’t mind giving it to them. She settled in to eat, while I nibbled at my food, too mentally distracted to do much of anything else. I’d worked so hard at shoving thoughts of Cade out of my mind for so long, it was hard to think about him, much less talk about him. He’d occupied a huge place in my heart once upon a time. Then, it shattered into pieces. I’d avoided the shards of glass by sweeping them out of sight. In a few short days, I’d averted making a huge mistake by walking out on Earl, seen Cade for the first time in too long, and learned that my version of his betrayal was a bit off. I knew he harbored his own pain and resentment. I could feel it radiating from him. There was a jumble of tangled emotions to get through, and I didn’t even know how to talk about him.

  After a few minutes of eating, I looked over at Lucy. “Me and Cade are messy. I loved him like crazy and then it all blew up. We had a chance to talk and, well, it seems like maybe I missed a few details of how things went down with Shannon.”

  Lucy paused in her chewing and took a giant gulp of water from the glass Janet had set on the table beside her. “Wait a minute. You never talk about Cade. Like ever. I left it alone because I figured, well, it was the past. What did you miss? Please tell me you knew he never had anything to do with Shannon. Because even I knew that.”

  My mouth fell open. “Huh? How do you know that?”

  Lucy smacked her forehead with her hand. “Everyone knows. Just like everyone knows talking about Cade around you means you walk away. Okay, I wasn’t close to you back then, so better to hear it from me than anyone else. Shannon had a nasty breakup, remember? I don’t even know the guy’s name, but some guy from college.”

  I nodded, my gut churning. It was making me sick to realize maybe I’d made things worse by being so damn determined not to talk about Cade.

  Lucy continued, “Anyway, she came back to town and made a play for Cade right away.
He threw her out and that was that. Trust me, ask anyone. Shannon was all pissy about the whole thing.” Lucy paused for another bite of her burger. After she finished chewing, she looked over at me. “Do you mean to tell me you’re so damn stubborn, you never figured this out?”

  I swallowed against the tightness in my chest and nodded. That was me all right, stubborn as hell.

  Lucy’s eyes got sad. “Oh hon. Good grief. That sucks. I mean, all anyone ever says about you and Cade was you two were perfect together. So what happened when you saw him? How do you feel?”

  The bell over the door jingled again, and I reflexively glanced over my shoulder. Cade strode in, his subtle, almost lazy swagger making me hot all over. His brown hair was mussed. With him attired in faded black jeans that hugged his muscled legs and a black t-shirt that did absolutely nothing to disguise every inch of his hard chest, all I could do was stare at him.

  His eyes caught mine from across the room, and he angled his head slightly in recognition. My pulse lunged, butterflies amassed in my belly, and my mouth went dry.

  “Oh God,” Lucy said wryly.

  I tore my eyes from Cade and looked over at Lucy. “What?”

  Lucy’s mouth curled up at once corner as she shook her head slowly. “Well, now I know why Earl never did a thing for you. Girl, you have got it bad and so does he. Be careful and don’t burn this place down just looking at each other.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Cade

  I forced my feet in the direction of the counter, but damn, I had to make myself walk that way. I knew Amelia was here the second I stepped through the door. I could feel her before I looked over and saw her. I made it to the counter and glanced at the chalkboard mounted on the wall by the cash register. Firehouse Café was an old favorite of mine, well of anyone in town really. Janet served good food and kept the place lively. It didn’t hurt she’d been born and raised in Willow Brook, so she knew pretty much everyone and would help anyone in need. In the seven years I’d been gone, I hadn’t set foot in here a single time during my visits home. It reminded me too much of Amelia. For starters, she’d worked here off and on, but we’d also spent plenty of time here grabbing coffee or food together.

  Two line cooks were busy at the grill with customers filling the stools at the counter. Being mid-summer, there were plenty of unfamiliar faces here, along with a mix of locals. The swinging door into the back opened, and Janet stepped through, her face stretching in a wide smile the moment she laid eyes on me.

  “Cade Masters! I was wondering when you’d stop in. I heard from your mama you were back for good,” Janet said as she rounded the counter and pulled me into a hug.

  I chuckled when she stepped back and pinched my cheek. Even my own mother didn’t do that anymore, but Janet could get away with it. “You look as handsome as ever. How are you?” she asked, her brown eyes crinkling at the corners with her smile.

  The last time I’d seen her, her hair had a few streaks of silver. Now it was mostly silver with streaks of dark brown. She gave off a warm, motherly air, reinforced with her round figure and face, yet that air hid a spine of steel. She’d run this café on her own for years after her first husband died in a car accident on an icy highway up north.

  I grinned back at her. “I’m doing all right. It’s good to see you. Really good.”

  Janet glanced over her shoulder to reply to something one of the line cooks had said and then turned back. “Let me get you something to eat and drink. It’s on me today. What’ll you have?”

  “Start me off with some coffee.” I paused and glanced around the café. Not a single table was open and the counter was packed. “Guess I’ll wait to find somewhere to sit.”

  When I met Janet’s eyes again, she arched a brow and barely nudged her chin in Amelia’s direction. “You could join Amelia and Lucy. I’m sure they won’t mind,” she said with a gleam in her eyes.

  I chuckled. “Not so sure about that.”

  Janet put her hand on her hip and leveled me with a glare. “I know you gave her a ride back to Willow Brook, so no sense in playing dumb with me. Don’t worry about the gossip. She and Earl never should’ve been together. He thought she was some kind of challenge he could win. That man never appreciated her for who she was and isn’t the least bit heartbroken over her walking out on their wedding. Oh, maybe his pride took a hit, but nothing more. You go talk to that girl. If you mean to set things right, you can’t tiptoe around it.”

  I opened my mouth and then snapped it shut. Janet laughed softly and spun around to get me a coffee. When she handed it back, she winked. “Plus, there’s nowhere else to sit anyway.”

  I simply shook my head, but damn if I didn’t find myself doing just what she said. Janet had that effect on people—they tended to listen to her. I threaded through the tables on the way to the corner where Amelia sat with Lucy Caldwell. I knew Lucy in passing, but not too well. She’d moved to Willow Brook sometime when we were all in high school. She’d certainly turned heads for the guys with her blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty, but she’d been entirely uninterested in any of them. I’d done a little reconnaissance about Amelia in the few days since she’d grabbed ahold of my heart and body again after our way too brief encounter at her brother’s cabin. Well, truth be told, all I’d had to do was drop a few hints with my mom, and she opened the floodgates about Amelia. It was obvious she’d been holding back to the point she was almost resentful with me about it.

  She’d told me Amelia had dated here and there and only seemed to get serious with Earl a year or two ago. Apparently, Amelia owned her own construction business now and Lucy worked with her. According to my mother, she hired out a few other contractors here and there, but Lucy was her only full-time employee.

  Back when I’d been setting things up to do my training as a hotshot firefighter, she’d seemed at loose ends. I loved knowing she’d ended up doing something she enjoyed and was damn good at. I knew well it likely wouldn’t work out too great for her to try to sign onto another crew. Not many women worked in the construction and contracting field. Not even in Alaska where women swapped back and forth between being just as feminine as anywhere you’d find and then hiking mountains and hunting and fishing with the best of men. Amelia also had a rather strong independent streak. She liked to do things on her own terms. The flip side was when she got angry, she let it drive her too far sometimes. I had enough sense to know that part of her had certainly contributed to how thoroughly she’d shut me out.

  I stepped around a backpack strewn on the floor and reached the table where Amelia and Lucy were seated. Lucy glanced up first, her blue eyes round and heavily lashed with thick blonde eyelashes. She didn’t do a thing for me, but I could imagine she drove the guys here crazy. Her looks were quite the contrast to her attire with her battered jeans, loose t-shirt, and a streak of dirt on her arm. “Hi Cade,” she said brightly. “I’m not sure you remember me.”

  I inclined my head. “Lucy Caldwell. I might not have known you well, but I remember you.”

  Lucy’s grin widened. “Good to know. How about you join us?”

  I glanced to Amelia who’d lifted her gaze to me. Her cheeks were flushed. If she thought otherwise, she didn’t say a word at Lucy’s invitation. I could feel the turmoil rolling off of her in waves. I didn’t give a damn. I’d felt tossed adrift on a rocky shore after she iced me out of her life, and I knew perfectly well we had something not many people ever had a shot at. I wasn’t letting another chance slide by, no matter how much I was wrestling with my own tangled emotions.

  I hooked my hand over the back of the chair and slipped into it. “Thanks for letting me join you,” I said, smiling slightly at Lucy before looking directly at Amelia.

  With Lucy and Amelia facing each other, I was seated between them. Amelia lifted her chin slightly, and I fought the urge to lean over and kiss her. I had years of kisses stored up inside. The few we’d managed to have only served to stoke my need. She was maybe a foot away, so I reined
in my body. It wasn’t easy being this close to her.

  “Hey Amelia,” I finally said.

  Her throat worked and her cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink. Damn. I loved a flustered Amelia. It was a fairly rare occurrence. At least it was before. She was by nature strong and confident. Any chink in that made me feel special. Not because I wanted to fluster her, but because I felt so fucking raw when it came to her, I didn’t want to feel alone in it. Knowing maybe she felt vulnerable too eased the uncertainty.

  When Amelia didn’t respond, Lucy emitted a loud sigh. “Okay, how about I leave you two be?”

  Amelia’s eyes widened and she tore her gaze from me, a slightly panicked look in her eyes. “Oh no, you don’t need to do that. I mean, we have to get back to work and…”

  Lucy shook her head. “You’re my friend, and I adore you, but you’ve dug in so deep to avoid this man here…” She pointed at me with a warm smile. “…that it’s time to stop that madness. I’ll see you in the morning. Let’s meet at the office and head out to the Jacobson site together.”

  I promptly decided Lucy was absolutely awesome. Lucy didn’t give Amelia much chance to respond when she quickly stood and grabbed her plate. She leaned over and pecked Amelia on the cheek. “You’ve got this.” Those wide blue eyes swung to me. “And you’d better be on your absolute best behavior. I heard good things about you, so you’d better prove me right.”

  Lucy’s innocent looks didn’t match her attitude. I sensed she’d give me hell if I hurt a hair on Amelia’s head. I wondered how much she knew about what went down. Seeing as getting an answer now was out of the question, I met her firm gaze and nodded. “Understood.”

  She grinned. “Have fun kids.” She spun away, calling out to Janet, “I need a takeout box, Janet!”

  I took a gulp of my coffee and glanced to Amelia. She was worrying her bottom lip, which she needed to stop. Or else I might have more trouble than I already did and end up kissing her right here in front of everyone. No matter how much I knew it seemed like it was for the best Amelia had walked out on her wedding with Earl, I was sensitive to the fact it wouldn’t exactly look good for us to make out in the middle of town less than a week later.