by Louise Bay
Despite my curiosity, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I needed to take a beat, get my shit together. Staring into the mirror, I pressed my fingers along my eyebrows, straightening out my frown. I was used to being envious of Emma, but I’d always taken some comfort from the fact that she didn’t see the side of Luke that I did. She didn’t have the same shared history, couldn’t make him laugh the way I could. I didn’t know anything about Fiona. She had the triathlon thing in common with Luke, which he seemed to love. And she saw him at work, which I never did. Could she make him laugh? Had I become another Emma to Fiona?
As I wandered back to the living room, everyone had taken their seats around the dining table. I sank into the free seat between Luke and Jake. I tried to convince myself there was an invisible barrier between Luke and me. Touching was an impossibly bad idea if we didn’t want Haven and Jake to catch on.
The problem was, my barrier was faulty and acted more like a magnet. Being so close to him made me want to be closer still. I wanted him to hold me. I crossed my arms in front of me, so I didn’t lose control and accidently reach for his floppy hair or smooth my hands across his broad back.
I startled when his leg brushed against mine as he reached for the jug of water—was he trying to torture me? I wanted to climb into his lap and feel his arms around me. His hand came to my thigh, and I melted.
He looked at me, and I widened my eyes at him in warning. What was he doing? I was worried Haven would see his hand. He squeezed my leg and removed his hand, leaving my skin buzzing. I glanced across at Haven. Had she seen that?
“So when do you hear about business school, Ash?” Jake asked.
I hesitated as I tried to concentrate on something other than Luke. “Soon, I think.” I’d forgotten that I should have a decision this week.
“How are you going to manage to study and work at the same time?” Haven asked. “Sounds impossible.”
“Yeah, I think it will be tough. Richard suggested I go part-time, but there’s no way. I mean, no.”
“How did he suggest you pay your rent?” Haven asked. “Honestly, men have no common sense.”
Jake rolled his eyes, and Luke shook his head at Haven’s dismissal of the male species. They both handled her perfectly.
“Oh, he had a solution for that. He said I should move in with him.”
Luke had his wineglass to his lips and spluttered into his drink at my revelation. “He said what?” His voice was tight.
I focused on Haven, afraid to meet Luke’s eyes. I probably shouldn’t have shared that without having mentioned it to Luke first.
“What, he was offering you his spare room?” she asked.
“In return for your vagina?” Jake added.
“It’s never okay for you to say vagina,” I said, grinning at Jake while Haven playfully smacked him on the arm. Luke didn’t join in, but his clenched fists told me he wasn’t happy. I desperately wanted to reach across my invisible barrier and drop a small kiss on his shoulder. He had nothing to worry about.
Luke
I believed Ashleigh when she said nothing had happened with Richard, but that didn’t stop me from feeling homicidal. Ashleigh was mine, and everyone needed to know it. I’d been a second away from announcing it to Haven and Jake. The only thing that stopped me was the thought that Ashleigh and I might take two steps back. I didn’t have time to do anything but move forward with her. I wanted to start our future together. I just wished she were as eager as I was.
I tried to think of reasons that would persuade her to stay with me tonight. I didn’t want to be without her, especially not with conversations of Richard and Fiona on our minds. I didn’t want her focused on what might have been. I wanted her focused on us.
“I’m going to head home. I didn’t get much sleep last night, and I don’t want to start the week tired,” Ashleigh said as she closed the dishwasher. She leaned forward to program the machine and gave me an excellent view down her top. Was she wearing a bra? I’d been trying to control my hard-on all night, but my dick was getting sick of holding back. I was close to dragging Ashleigh home to get naked.
“You’ll stay for another beer though, right?” Jake asked me.
I wanted to say no, but I glanced at Ashleigh and she gave me a small nod. “Sure,” I said. Better to be here with Jake and Haven than at home, on my own, wishing I was with Ashleigh.
I relaxed when Ashleigh left. I’d been on edge all evening, trying to make sure I wasn’t giving away how I felt about her. More than once I’d been about to touch her and had to stop myself. It felt so unnatural to be acting as we had for the last two decades.
Things were different now.
“So, you didn’t say anything more about Fiona; what’s going on there?” Jake asked as we collapsed on the sofas with our beers. Haven followed, bringing her wine.
“There’s nothing to say. She’s a nice girl, but she’s not for me.”
“She’s not? Does that mean you know who is?” Haven asked.
“Haven, you know that the ball is in Ashleigh’s court.”
Haven sighed. “I wish you two would just sort it out. Richard clearly isn’t any competition. Do what you have to do, Luke. Make her feel special. If she’s the one for you, she needs to know that. Take action.”
It was good advice. Advice I’d already followed. I just needed Ashleigh to understand we had nothing to hide, that she had nothing to be afraid of. She could trust me.
My phone buzzed.
Ashleigh: Hey.
Me: Hey yourself.
Ashleigh: Did you have a good night?
Me: It would have been better if I’d been able to touch you openly.
Ashleigh: I appreciate your patience.
Me: I’m not sure how long it will last. You’re too beautiful to resist and you’re mine now. You know you are.
Ashleigh: I am.
Me: Glad you agree.
Ashleigh. I miss you.
Me: Already?
Ashleigh: Already. How about dating starts tomorrow night. Come round when you leave?
I grinned. There was nowhere I’d rather be than with Ashleigh, and she couldn’t resist what there was between us anymore than I could. Who was she trying to kid?
Twenty-Four
Luke
I’d left Haven and Jake’s as soon as I’d finished my beer. Maybe it was obvious why I left so soon after Ashleigh, but it was hard to give a shit.
I pressed my forehead to Ashleigh’s door, willing myself inside. My heartbeat quickened as I heard her unlock the door.
I’d stopped at a late-night supermarket and picked up chocolate and a small bouquet of flowers. As she opened the door, I held them out to her.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Well, flowers and chocolates are what you bring for dates, aren’t they?”
“You are ridiculous.” She grinned. “Thank you.”
“As long as you’re into ridiculous, that’s fine by me.”
She put her arms around my neck and held my gaze. “I’m very into ridiculous.”
It was so good to have her in my arms—evidence that she was mine and not some other man’s. My head knew Richard wasn’t a threat, but that didn’t stop it feeling like a dagger to my stomach every time she talked about him—particularly when she’d said he’d suggested she move in with him. I’d only managed to get my cool back just in time.
I couldn’t hold back any longer. I’d waited all night. I crashed my lips into hers, enveloping myself around her. Her moans muffled the sound of flowers and chocolates falling to the floor. She tasted delicious. I just couldn’t get enough of her. I wanted to devour her in every way. I couldn’t kiss her for long enough.
Everything she had to say was mesmerizing to me—all her little phrases, the way she talked with her fingers . . . Some people talked with their hands, but Ashleigh punctuated almost every sentence with a movement of her fingers. I’d never noticed before.
I started to walk h
er backward, lost patience and pushed her up against the wall.
“Richard is never touching you again.” I circled her waist and pulled her top from her skirt—I needed to feel her skin. “If you’re moving in with someone, you’re moving in with me.” I brushed my hands up her bare back. “Jesus, you were braless all evening. Fuck.” I’d suspected as much. My hands roamed to her chest, just to make sure. Double fuck, her nipples tightened under my touch, and she shuddered. I couldn’t help but groan against her mouth. Blood rushed to my cock, and I had to get closer, had to see them. I fiddled with the buttons on her shirt, but my fingers weren’t working. Something close to panic washed over me. I needed her naked. While I’d been fixating on her chest, Ashleigh had managed to undo my shirt completely. In desperation, I pulled at the fabric of her blouse, then tugged, sending the buttons flying and spilling out her amazing tits.
“These are my reason for living. Right here.” My eyes focused on her chest.
Ashleigh messed with my fly. She wanted me naked as much as I wanted her. My dick twitched at the thought. I kicked off my jeans and shrugged off my open shirt.
I took a step back so I could take her in. Naked from the waist up, she looked at me, her hair disheveled, mouth swollen and red from my kisses. She was a goddess. Fuck, I was a lucky guy. How could she not understand that I got how precious she was? She could trust me.
“I’m going to keep you up all night, and you’re not even going to remember Richard’s name when I’m done.” I reached under her skirt and pulled off her underwear in one swift movement. “I have to be inside you right now.” I would make it up to her later, but there wasn’t time for foreplay—my dick wouldn’t allow it. I grabbed her ass, lifting her up against the wall. She wrapped her legs around me.
“Please,” she breathed. “Please, I need you.”
It was exactly what I needed to hear. I plunged myself into her. It felt perfect. “It feels like forever since I’ve had you like this,” I whispered against her cheek. Even though we’d only been together this morning, it had been too long. She was so wet and ready, and I slid in and out with just the right amount of friction; it was as if I were made for her.
She tilted her head back against the wall, allowing me access to her perfectly smooth neck. I trailed my tongue up the soft column of skin, desperate to taste her. Every part of her was so delicious.
“Luke, it’s so deep.”
I could do nothing but growl in response as I started to thrust into her. I knew I was being rough, but I couldn’t hold back. Seeing her pushed up the wall by my hips, her body yielding to mine, was exactly what I needed. “You’re so fucking beautiful, so fucking perfect. I love this feeling of being buried so deep inside you, Ashleigh.”
She grasped at my shoulders, then chest. I didn’t understand what she wanted until she brought her eyes to mine.
They were wild. For me.
Needy. For me.
Feelings of relief and power swept through me.
This was the Ashleigh who was new to me. Naked Ashleigh. Panting and moaning Ashleigh. She was new but sexy and oh-so-sweet. Delicious. Mine.
I couldn’t believe I’d spent two decades fucking around being friends, letting guys like Richard have a shot with her. I could have been making her happy; I could have had hours buried in her. I needed to make up for all that wasted time.
“We’re not friends, Ashleigh; do you know that? Not anymore. We’re more than that. You’re mine. Every part of you. The sooner you get used to that, the better.” I sank deeper into her, pulling out and sharply pushing back in.
“Oh God.” Her lips parted, and she looked straight at me as she spasmed around me. I watched her orgasm pass through every atom of her. I loved the sounds she made as she came, the heavy breaths, the gasps, the half words. I needed to memorize each one of them. Nothing had ever sounded so sexy.
I wanted to tell her there would never be anyone else. She was my future, my forever. She was exactly what I’d been looking for, but never known I was searching for. But I held back, concerned she would feel it was too soon, that she’d think it was a reaction to my break up with Emma. I knew this had nothing to do with anything other than what I felt for Ashleigh. With Emma, I’d cherished our independence from each other. With Ashleigh, I never wanted to be without her, not for a second. I’d never realized I could feel that way. Ashleigh had awoken it in me.
Love had been hiding in plain sight all along.
Ashleigh
I slumped forward, wrapping my arms around Luke, the afterglow of my orgasm fluttering away down my limbs.
Luke’s thrusting became shallower. I could tell he was holding himself back, allowing me to recover before chasing his own release.
“Take me to bed,” I whispered into his ear. It was so good to have him here. How had I thought I was going to get through an evening without him?
Still inside me, he walked us into my bedroom as I pressed my lips to his neck, biting across his skin and along his jaw. “You’re so sexy.” He twitched and I twisted my hips, wanting to feel it again.
He groaned. “Jesus, you’re going to kill me.” He laid me on my back on the bed, and I pushed his hair away from his face.
“We wouldn’t want that. Why don’t you let me take some of the burden?”
“Oh, believe me, baby, fucking you will never be anything but my complete pleasure.”
I shifted underneath him, and he rolled us over, leaving me on top as I’d wanted. I pushed against his body, savoring the feel of his hard chest beneath my hands. Sitting astride him, I moaned as he plunged deeper into me. I closed my eyes, briefly savoring him so deep. When I opened my eyes, he was staring back at me, watching me enjoy him. No man I’d ever been with had so clearly put my pleasure before his, had been so turned on by what he could do to me. “You feel so, so good,” I whispered, gently moving my hips up and then pulling him into me again. “So deep, so hard. I’m so full.”
He grunted and thrust his hips off the bed as if he couldn’t hold back. We found a rhythm, and my body started to wind and tighten with pleasure.
He reached for my breasts, cupping each one, smoothing his fingers along the underside and brushing his thumbs over my nipples. I took one of his hands and guided him lower.
The scrape of his skin across my clit interrupted my rhythm, and I stopped to bask in the sensation. He withdrew his hand. I twisted my hips in protest and began to rock over him. His hand found my clit again, but I stilled as I let myself savor his skin on mine. As soon as I paused, his fingers did too. It was as if he was rewarding me with his touch. I recommenced my movements, squeezing him as I dragged myself up and off, then plunging back down. It was as if I had to earn his fingers. I was prepared to do whatever it took.
I had to concentrate as his thumb rounded my clit, notching the heat travelling through my body up a level.
“Baby, you’re so wet.”
“Because of you. It’s all for you.”
He groaned and removed his hands from where they were eliciting pure sensation from my body. He gripped my waist, pushing his thumbs into the sensitive flesh under my hips, rocking himself up, meeting my movements. I clasped my hands over his as we crashed against each other again and again, each movement bringing my climax closer and closer.
The moonlight flickered through the curtains, catching on the sheen of sweat that had formed a film across Luke’s beautiful face.
“When you look at my like that, I can’t hold back, baby,” he said.
“Don’t. Take what you need.”
His jaw tightened, and his fingertips pressed harder into my skin as he pushed deeper and faster into me. I gave up control and held myself above him as he pounded into me. It took only a few seconds for another orgasm—just as intense as the last one—to wash over me, pulsing across my skin and surging deep into my very core. My climax allowed Luke to let go, and after three sharp thrusts, he poured himself into me. The muscles in his jaw finally loosened, and I ran my kn
uckles along the bristles of his five o’clock shadow, just to check.
He pulled me down and trailed his fingers along the side of my body, making me shiver. He kept his legs wrapped around me, and he was still inside me. It was as if he wanted to tell me something, share something important, but couldn’t quite form the words.
I loved him. I’d always known I had, but had never allowed myself to give in to it so completely. But with him in my bed, my body so entirely owned by him, I had no defenses left. Now, he was all I felt. He’d cracked me open and my love for him had just poured out. I was coated in it, and I could never be closed back up.
After less than a day of being together, I couldn’t bear to give him up, even for one evening.
If he ever left me, I would be broken.
The thought was terrifying. He had the power to destroy me.
We dragged ourselves out of bed the following morning, our fitful sleep punctuated by each other’s lips, hands and more than one orgasm. As soon as I hit the cold, crisp air of November in London, I felt anything but heavy. I floated to work, a grin tattooed on my face that I had to concentrate to make smaller so I didn’t invite questions.
Halfway through the day, I was called to reception to find an enormous arrangement of peonies and amongst them a handwritten card.
They don’t smell as beautiful as you. Luke
I didn’t know if the flowers were a conscious sign that he understood I needed his reassurance, but the effect was the same. I didn’t want us to fast-forward to complacency. There was a side of me that needed to be wooed by him, needed to be sure that this was about me and not just about having someone.