Suffer

by E. E. Borton

  “Abby Coleman and Agent Collins?”

  “Yes,” said Grey, producing his credentials. “I take it we’re at the right place?”

  “You are. I’m Special Agent Carlos Ramirez. I’m leading the protection detail. Abby, I need you to wait in the lobby for just a few minutes. Kate wanted to speak with Grey privately. I’ll come get you when they’re finished.”

  Abby gave Grey a puzzled look, but agreed to wait. “Don’t forget about me,” she said with a forced smile.

  “I won’t, Abby. I’m sure she just wants to talk about the case. She may feel more relaxed covering some of the details she wouldn’t want you to hear. It’s not uncommon.”

  “I understand,” said Abby, turning and heading back to the lobby.

  “Agent Collins,” said Carlos, “before I take you in, you need to understand a few things as well.”

  “Call me Grey. I’m not here as an agent.”

  “You have no idea how right you are, Grey,” said Carlos. “I’m sure you can grasp the unusual nature of this situation. I adamantly protested her reaching out to family and friends, but she convinced me otherwise. There’s no doubt we’ll be pulled from this detail once the office hears her location has been compromised. And they will find out.”

  “I figured as much,” said Grey. “Who told her about her husband and son?”

  “I did.”

  “I’m sorry, Carlos. Nobody should ever have to give a wife and mother that news.”

  “We don’t have much time before my phone rings or my supervisor shows up, so let me make this clear and quick. Whatever you or Kate need, you call me. I don’t care what it is or what time.”

  “Okay, I’m not exactly clear what you mean,” said Grey, “but thank you.”

  “You and I are trained not to become personally involved in any aspect of a case or assignment, but I’ll tell you flat out I’m personally involved. When she first arrived, she was confused and scared. I think she just needed someone to talk to, and that someone was me.

  “She recalls almost everything, Grey. She offered vivid descriptions of what that monster did to them. But that’s not what made me discard protocol.”

  “So, what did?”

  “How hard she fights,” said Carlos. “The staff here doesn’t have to motivate her to follow her rehab schedule. In fact, most days they have to slow her down. She’s torn damn near every suture during her exercises and gets irritated when they stop to treat the bleeding. She’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever met in my life. And she’s also one of the bravest.

  ”I’ve stayed hours after my shift has ended because she wants to talk about similar cases and how we track down the criminals. I know why she’s practically killing herself to get stronger, Grey. And when you figure it out, just know you’ve got some help. Like I said, whatever you need.”

  Grey was unsure how to respond to Carlos. He was unnerved at his candor and what he was offering, but he believed him. For Grey, the simple fact that Carlos never broke eye contact and seemed to be driving his point home with emphasis was convincing. Grey paused for a brief moment when Carlos stepped aside and opened the door, clearing his way. His gut was telling him everything was about to change – again.

  As soon as he walked in and put his eyes on her, it did. She was leaning heavily on a crutch, but taking very small steps on her own. Two rehab staff members were close to her side, but nobody was helping her walk. He could see the determination in her clenched teeth and trembling legs. He could hear it in her grunts and heavy breathing. But he also felt it as if she was emitting an electric charge throughout the room.

  Her left eye was covered with a black patch, but all the gauze covering her facial wounds had been removed. Before the attack, Kate had been a strikingly beautiful woman with porcelain skin and light green eyes. The woman Grey was watching resembled something out of a Frankenstein movie. Her blonde hair was pulled back, revealing additional scars across her throat and down her neck to her shoulder. Grey tried to replace the image with memories of her being whole, but the attempt was useless. He swallowed back a lump in his throat as he walked toward her.

  “I never would’ve believed this if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes,” said Grey, approaching her blind side and causing her to stumble.

  “Shit!” said Kate. “It’s way too easy for someone to sneak up on me.”

  “My God, I’m so sorry, Kate,” said Grey, reaching out to her. “I can’t believe I didn’t –”

  “Shut up and give me a hug, please,” said Kate, recovering on her own.

  Grey followed her orders and stepped in front of her. He gently wrapped his arms around her and held her in an embrace for as long as she would allow. The lump in his throat passed any point of control, and tears began to well in his eyes. She relaxed her grip and he took a small step backward, but didn’t release her hand.

  “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life,” said Grey.

  “I’ve never seen you cry,” said Kate, pulling him back in for another hug.

  “It’s because I’ve never been so scared in my life either,” said Grey, leaning back to look at her. “I’m sorry we couldn’t be here for you, Kate. The person who did this to you is still out there.”

  “I know he is,” said Kate, “but his time of hurting me is over. He’s on our time now.”

  Kate finished walking the short distance to two chairs positioned by a large window with a view of the city. Grey pulled his closer to hers so they were a few feet apart. He noticed the agents posted inside the room, as well as the rehab staff, had left the two friends alone.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “My son was murdered in front of me, I was raped and tortured for hours, and my husband committed suicide. Let me ask you, Grey. How do you think I’m feeling?”

  “You remember everything?”

  “If you’re going to ask me again who did this to me, my answer is still the same. I remember his face, but I have no idea who he is.”

  “Are you aware that he used Dr. Singer to try and kill you?”

  “Yes. I’m aware. Agent Ramirez told me everything he knew.”

  Grey rubbed his forehead, trying to buy time to phrase his next questions. Kate was several steps ahead of him and spared him the inquiry. Her agenda was focused and concise.

  “My son and husband are dead, and there’s nothing I can do to change that. The only thing I can do is figure out a way to keep myself alive. The only way that’s going to happen is to find who did this to me and my family. Agent Ramirez spent hours explaining to me why the FBI isn’t involved in the investigation. But the only question I have is, why you’re not.”

  “Kate, if Agent Ramirez didn’t tell to you why I can’t be involved, then he did a shitty job of explaining the situation. There are certain factors –”

  “Grey!” said Kate, interrupting his defense. “Are you serious? Caleb and Paul are dead. They were murdered by the same man that did this to me,” she said, pointing to where her left eye was taken. “The reasons Carlos gave me don’t make sense.”

  “Then let me try,” said Grey, standing and walking toward the window to collect his thoughts. He turned to face her and raised his voice for emphasis. “There are procedures the FBI has to follow, and there’s no room for deviation. If you think for one second I didn’t want to be a part of this investigation, then you’re out of your mind. But the bottom line is, I can’t. Unless the state of Florida, specifically Sheriff Doyle, requests the help of my agency, I can’t be involved. The fact I’m here now is jeopardizing the protective detail, which is the only group keeping you alive. You can get pissed at me for not being involved, but you can’t be pissed at me for doing nothing to keep you safe.”

  “Are you finished?” asked Kate in a calm tone.

  “Kate, you have no idea what I’ve –”

  “Sit down, Grey,” said Kate. “Please.”

  He took a deep breath and returned to his chair. He didn’t m
ake eye contact with her until she reached over and took his hand. Even he realized the reasons he was trying to give her were weak.

  “I’m not asking you to explain yourself. Really, I’m not. I know you’ve acted with my best interest in mind since this happened. What I am asking is that you help me now. And I need to know if you will. Beyond what the Bureau expects or what the state tells you, will you help me?”

  “Of course, I will. I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”

  “Good,” said Kate, sitting up straight in her chair. “Because what I’m going to ask you will leave you unemployed.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I have one reason to keep myself alive,” said Kate. “And that reason is to find who did this to us. But you’re not going to be able to help me as an FBI agent. You’re going to have to do this as a friend. As someone who lost their family as well.”

  “Kate, I understand why you want to –”

  “That’s exactly why it has to be you, Grey. Because you do understand why I need to do this. I have over 40 million dollars at my disposal. I’ve already spoken with our attorneys about my estate. The 40 million I have now will double after the sale of the company is finalized in a few weeks. I’ll use every penny to find the man who killed my baby boy and the love of my life. Do you understand?”

  “I do, Kate. My God, I do,” said Grey. “But I also understand you need time to absorb what has happened to you. You need time to concentrate on getting stronger and dealing with both the mental and physical trauma. I promise you I’ll be here every step of the way.”

  “Is Abby with you?” asked Kate.

  “Yes. She’s waiting in the lobby.”

  “Good. Go ask her to come inside,” said Kate, struggling to get to her feet. “And when she does, what do you think her answer is going to be when I ask for her help?”

  “She’s going to agree to anything you say, Kate. But she’ll have no idea what that means. That’s the difference between me and anyone else you ask. I know what it means. I know what you’re risking.”

  “It simply means that she’s family, Grey. Something I thought you were.”

  Grey had initially walked into the room thinking his main focus would be to comfort and console his grieving friend. Once again, having to defend his actions since the attack was the furthest thing from his mind. There was a certain amount of relief he felt leaving Kate and summoning Abby to join them. The relief turned to anxiety when he saw Sheriff Doyle and four Florida state troopers exit the elevator.

  “Special Agent Grey Collins, you’re under arrest for interfering with a state and federal murder investigation. Surrender your weapon and place your hands behind your back.”

  “What’s going on, Grey?” asked Abby, jumping to her feet.

  “It’s okay, Abby. I’m not surprised. Kate’s ready to see you now. She looks amazing.”

  21

  Done

  SHERIFF DOYLE ESCORTED HIS PRISONER out of the main entrance of the hospital and into a sea of reporters. Grey didn’t say another word to the sheriff after making a request that he notify the Miami FBI field office he was under arrest. He was placed in the backseat of a cruiser and driven to the processing center located a few miles from the hospital.

  After his mug shot and fingerprints were taken, Grey was spared from entering the general population at the county facility. It was the only concession given by Sheriff Doyle. Grey sat in his isolated cell and waited for the storm. The first sound of distant thunder came in the form of the highest ranking law enforcement official in Broward County, and the Special Agent in Charge of the Miami FBI field office. A corrections officer unlocked the cell and barked that Grey get to his feet.

  “That’ll be enough of that, officer,” said James Cooper, SAC Miami.

  “I agree,” said Sheriff Wilcox.

  “Sorry, sirs,” said the officer.

  “I’ll take him from here,” said Sheriff Wilcox. “Agent Collins, come with us, please.”

  The three men walked through several checkpoints before exiting the processing area and entering a large conference room. Sitting inside were Sheriff Doyle, Grey’s boss from Atlanta, and several other unfamiliar suits and uniforms. Grey took a seat next to his boss, Frank Perkins.

  “Someone care to explain this to me?” said SAC Cooper.

  “I’m well within my power to arrest anyone interfering in an ongoing murder investigation,” said Sheriff Doyle. “I informed Sheriff Wilcox and state troopers that I’d be arresting Grey Collins for that interference as well as bringing him back to my county to face charges.”

  “Okay, Sheriff,” said SAC Cooper. “First of all, he’s not going anywhere with you. Second, a phone call to my office would’ve prevented all of this. Third, are you out of your goddamned mind, alerting the press to your publicity stunt?”

  “I did not –”

  “Don’t even, Conrad,” said SAC Cooper. “I’m not sure why you felt compelled to draw so much attention to a case you’ve been trying to subdue. The fact is, I don’t really care. You may have the ability to exclude us from assisting you in a murder case, but you’ve crossed a very painful line by arresting a federal officer with these bullshit charges. We’ve bent over backwards for you because of a mistake the Bureau made years ago, but that generosity stops right now. The only thing that may allow you to keep your job is what you do right now before I call the state attorney’s office. Are you clear?”

  “I’m clear,” said Sheriff Doyle, turning to face Grey. “Agent Collins, all charges will be dropped immediately, and I apologize for my actions today. You’re free to go.”

  Almost every face at the table had a puzzled look as Sheriff Doyle slid Grey’s weapon and credentials across the table. He stood and thanked Sheriff Wilcox and the other Florida officials and then left the room. After a minute, the others in attendance gathered their files, closed their briefcases, and quietly left the feds and Sheriff Wilcox at the table.

  “I’m not sure what all that was about,” said Sheriff Wilcox, standing. “But for the record, I had no idea Mr. Collins was a federal agent. If I had, you would’ve gotten that call, Agent Cooper.”

  “I would consider this odd behavior from Sheriff Doyle,” said SAC Cooper. “He’s always by the book and level headed. I know he’s got a chip on his shoulder for us, but this has been a very strange day.”

  “I agree,” said Sheriff Wilcox. “Well, I’m sure you guys have a few things to discuss, so take your time in here. There’s no rush.”

  “Thank you, Sheriff,” said SAC Cooper. “But I’m done here as well. How about you walk me to my car?”

  After they left, the only two men remaining in the room were Grey and his boss, SAC Frank Perkins. The men respected each other and had been working together for a decade, but Grey knew he was about to get a world class ass chewing. He also knew he deserved it.

  “Can you explain why you felt the need to lie to me?” asked SAC Perkins. “I may have given you a hard time about coming back down here, but I would’ve given in.”

  “I regret having lied to you, sir,” said Grey. “But the only thing on my mind was seeing Kate. She called me yesterday morning. I didn’t have much time to prepare an exit strategy.”

  “She called you? That’s impressive, considering her condition a few weeks ago. But again, I can’t see where you’d need to lie.”

  “After what happened with Dr. Singer, I didn’t want to tell anyone where I was going. I know that’s a weak excuse, but the guy who’s going after Kate is a pro. Do you think there’s any way to keep the protective detail with her?”

  “You’re not in the best position to be asking for favors, but I believe we can make that happen. She’s the last person who needs to suffer because of our mistakes. I’ll work it out with Cooper on our way back to Atlanta.”

  “I’m not going back to Atlanta, boss. Things just went from strange to surreal. My place is here with Kate and her family – my family.”
<
br />   “That’s impossible, Grey. And you know it. You’re doing more harm here than good. We’ll keep the security on her, but you need to put some distance between yourself and Doyle.”

  “I can’t put my finger on it, but somehow he’s involved,” said Grey. “I have no idea how or when, but he is. I can’t trust him to give the investigation the attention it deserves, let alone protect Kate. There’s no way I can leave.”

  “Yes, there is, son. I just don’t want you to make me say it. You need to be on that plane with me.”

  “They think I’m a coward, boss. They’re my family, but they think I’m a coward because when they need me, I leave. I give them some bullshit excuse about procedure and how I’m powerless to help them. They couldn’t care less about our procedures. And I feel the same way.”

  “Hold on, Grey. You know exactly why we have our procedures. It’s impossible for you to be objective right now. The worst thing you can do for Kate is try to inject yourself into the equation. It’s not that they think you’re a coward, son. They just expect you to be the hero.”

  “I don’t want to be the hero. I just want to be there for my friend. And because I’m an FBI agent, I can’t be.”

  “What are you saying, Grey?”

  “I’m saying I’m not leaving Florida. And I know you can’t let me stay. So I’m making it easy on the both of us. Effective immediately, I’m resigning from the FBI.”

  “Jesus Christ, Grey. Listen, you’ve had a crappy day and I’ll give you that. But throwing away your career isn’t going to change anything. In fact, you’ll be removing yourself from any chance of finding the unsub.”

  “Sheriff Doyle has no intention of letting us help,” said Grey. “That’s painfully obvious. Everything he’s done to this point makes me believe he has no intention of finding him at all. I can’t accept that; I won’t accept that. If I’m no longer with the FBI, then he no longer has any power to keep me away from this.”

  “That doesn’t make any sense,” said SAC Perkins. “He’ll put you right back in here the first chance he gets, and you’ll be handing him that chance on a silver platter. Because you are a federal agent, you had the support of the Bureau. That’s what got you out of this mess, and quick. When you end up back in here, you won’t have our help getting out.”