by Dianna Gunn
All because Bell thought the gods would choose Lai over her. Why can’t we all become priestesses? She asked herself the question often, had even asked some of the priestesses, but not even Ellanora could give her a proper answer.
The procession moved slowly, laden down with supplies for three nights of feasting. They stopped only briefly for lunch and made camp moments before the sun dipped below the horizon. At night Mir went to eat with her family and Lai stayed with the initiates who had no families, ignoring the dark looks they gave her. Even Stiel didn’t smile at her anymore.
For three days she rode, ate and slept in almost complete silence, her heart filled with sorrow for Bell and the others left behind. The whole thing seemed so unfair, letting only one girl become priestess when it was every girl’s dream.
On the fourth morning she crawled out of her tent to see Pa sitting with Ellanora and the other priestesses. Lai’s heart sank as he glanced up at her. Every muscle screamed at her to run, but there was no point. Sooner or later she had to face him. Might as well be now.
Pa rose slowly, as if he had aged ten years in the year since they last spoke.
“You look wonderful,” he said, smiling at her.
And you look awful. “Thanks.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Where’s Loren?” Despite all her training she couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice.
“Still resting. The morning sickness came the day after we left.”
Her throat dried up. “Morning sickness?” She knew she should have been happy for him, but the only thing she felt was empty, as if all the substance that was Lai had drained away.
Pa stared at his feet as he spoke. “I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know when—”
“Any time but now.” This journey was about her accomplishments, not a sibling who wouldn’t even be raised to understand her ways.
He looked her in the eyes. “I still love you, you know. I want to be part of your life.”
She raised an eyebrow. You don’t even really believe I can do this. “You have a strange way of showing it.”
She turned away before he could respond, making a show of dismantling her tent. Pa had begged her to give up becoming a priestess altogether when he converted to Loren’s religion. Something about not wanting her to risk her life, even though it was hardly a risk—only one trial had the power to kill, and she was the best warrior in her class. She could even hold her own against Shayna, the best fighter among the priestesses.
She felt rather than heard Pa walk away. The child in her wanted to run to him, comfort him, but she focused on taking apart her tent instead. Loren can comfort him. Today was her day.
Today at last they would enter the desert. By nightfall the initiates would be praying in the temple of their ancestors, begging the gods for their favor—and in a few days one of them would have her prayers answered.
Lai’s throat ached with thirst from the long ride across the desert. It had been several hours since they last stopped to feed the horses.
Mir rode beside her, but they didn’t speak. None of the initiates spoke to each other. Some spoke to the Keepers of the Dawn escorting them but most rode in silence, consumed by hopes and fears for the coming days.
Ellanora led them around a massive sand dune and the temple appeared in the distance. The temple was easily twice the size of the one back home. Lai grinned. She had waited her whole life to see the ancient temple where her ancestors had prayed for centuries.
Ellanora stopped twenty feet away from the magnificent building and gracefully slid off her horse, robes swishing about her feet. The initiates formed a circle around her as she dismounted. Each girl held an unlit torch in their left hand. In their white riding uniforms they shone like sunbeams, magnifying the day’s last rays of light. Lai shielded her eyes with her right hand as she joined the circle.
Ellanora handed off her reins to one of the Keepers of the Dawn and lit her torch with a single smooth gesture, as if she was pulling fire from inside the torch. Lai bit back the urge to do the same as Ellanora moved to the other side of the circle. Receiving the high priestess’s fire meant receiving her blessing.
The sun dropped below the temple as Ellanora lit Mir’s torch with her own, giving everything around them an eerie glow. Lai’s heart caught in her throat. She loved nothing more than watching the sun fall, the way it filled the world with a thousand shades of orange and pink.
Ellanora reached Lai and cleared her throat. Lai bowed and held out her torch. She still saw her mother every time she looked at Ellanora, despite the older woman’s wrinkles. Hazel eyes, sharp chin, prominent cheekbones. Lai saw many of the same features when she looked in the mirror.
Ellanora smiled. “She’s watching, you know,” she said.
“I know.” Lai touched the opal pendant hanging around her neck, the last piece of her mother’s life.
Ellanora lit Lai’s torch. She turned and left the circle, leading the girls towards the temple.
Back home there were many paintings of the temple. None did it justice. At the room’s center perfect stone likenesses of the gods stood in a wide circle, facing outwards as if protecting the small pond in the ground between them. The sun god Kalmar faced the door, preparing to throw a spear covered in white jewels that glittered in the torchlight. On his left side Valla, the moon goddess, held a bow with silver stones embedded all along it. On Kalmar’s right, Arland, god of wind, sat astride an obsidian horse.
Lai hurried towards the statues, entranced by their beauty. She found the statue of Taelanna, goddess of fire, on the far side of the pond. A phoenix, its wings decorated with small rubies, perched on Taelanna’s forearm, watching the room with tiny obsidian eyes.
Ravina, goddess of land and life, guarded the back of the room, one hand on her pregnant belly. A small granite spider sat on her other hand, held out towards Arland as if she wanted him to see it.
There were many statues of her gods at home, but none as magnificent as these. They radiated power, as if they contained pieces of the gods themselves. She closed her eyes and let their ancient presence flow through her, filling her with a calming warmth.
“Lai?”
Mir’s voice was barely more than a whisper, but it brought Lai back to reality all the same. Lai set her torch in the nearest sconce and followed Mir back to where the others had gathered around Ellanora.
“Millennia ago the gods led our people to this temple,” Ellanora said, “a monument to our gods built by people long dead. Our ancestors built a great city around it. For centuries they prayed here, gathered here, feasted here, until the lake dried up and sent them searching for better lands in the south.
“Now only chosen daughters of the gods may pray here, seeking the strength to complete their trials.” Ellanora rested her torch in a nearby sconce. “You have two nights. Make every moment count.”
She bowed and strode towards the exit. Lai watched the great doors swing shut behind her. Ellanora wouldn’t return until the morning of the first trial. Lai already missed her.
She turned back to the room. The others were already crowded around the statues of the gods, whispering prayers they had recited every day since they learned to speak. I wonder how many have added a prayer for my death.
Lai waited until most of the crowd dispersed to claim their sleeping spots before approaching the pond. She filled her cupped hands with water and scrubbed the day’s dirt and sweat away from her face. Lai sat cross legged and folded her hands together in her lap, palms facing the sky. She closed her eyes, drew in a deep breath, and conjured images of fire in her mind. A ball of heat formed in her palms and light seeped through her eyelids.
Satisfied, she took another deep breath and reached out to the gods with her mind.
“I thank Ravina for giving me life,
Kalmar for giving me warmth,
Taelanna for giving
me the fires that cook my meals,
Arland for giving me the horse that brought me here,
and Valla for giving me many beautiful nights.”
Mir knelt beside her and joined her in prayer, their voices joining together in a quiet chorus.
“I ask Kalmar for his strength and Ravina for her willpower,
for Taelanna to give me beauty like her phoenix,
for Valla to give me sight as far reaching as the moon,
and for Arland to deliver me safely wherever I must go.”
Lai lifted her head and stared at the statue of Taelanna. Did the goddess hear her? Does it matter? Only one of them could be chosen. If the others were right, Lai already had been chosen.
Mir finished her prayers a moment after Lai and they sat together in silence by the pond. Most of the others were already sleeping, scattered throughout the temple.
“Get some sleep,” Mir whispered, unrolling her blanket.
“You first.” Sleep was the last thing on her mind.
Mir grinned. “I was planning to.”
Mir rolled away from her and soon Lai heard a slight snoring coming from Mir’s pile of blankets. She smiled. Usually the sound bugged her, but tonight it comforted her, reminded her of home.
She unrolled her own blanket a few moments later but spent a long time lying awake, listening to the other girls, half-expecting someone to try to kill her. Everyone had already come all this way; if she died now, Ellanora would still have to continue the trials.
Finally exhaustion won, taking away her thoughts and her fear.
Lai woke to see the first rays of sun shining through a handful of narrow windows halfway up the arched ceiling. They shone directly on a pair of murals showing the temple being built.
Every inch of the walls was covered in art, paintings depicting what must have been the history of the people who built it. The mural closest to Lai’s sleeping spot showed a ring of women in many colored skirts dancing around a bonfire. Their faces were turned to the sky, hands joined as if the dance was part of a ritual.
Lai and Mir walked hand in hand through the room, stopping every few feet to examine one of the paintings more closely. She had never seen so much incredible art in one place. It made everything outside seem insignificant, even the trials.
Thirst brought them back to the pond. Stiel sat at the edge of the pond, her eyes and nose red and swollen from crying, tear streaks still drying on her face. She was staring at the water as if hoping the real gods would come out of it and take her away.
Lai slipped her hand out of Mir’s and sat beside Stiel, her thirst forgotten.
“Why are you crying?” Lai asked.
Stiel wiped her tears up with a corner of her blanket. “I’m not ready. I should’ve asked for more training.”
“Ellanora wouldn’t have brought you here if you weren’t ready.”
“She shouldn’t have brought any of us,” Stiel said quietly, her voice full of venom. “Everyone knows it’ll be you anyway. It’s why Bell attacked you. She didn’t want you to be able to compete.”
Lai flinched, feeling the knife in her back all over again, the way her nose shattered when she hit the ground. “You stand just as much of a chance as me. The gods choose priestesses based on merit, not blood,” Lai said, absently rubbing her wrist.
“I hope you’re right,” Stiel said. “Otherwise I’ve wasted my one chance for a good future.” She turned back to the pond.
Lai wanted to comfort her, give her a hug, but she knew it wouldn’t help. They had all spent most of their lives working towards this. Most couldn’t even imagine another future. Yet most of us will have to find one. She splashed cold water on her face, trying to scrub her worries away.
Sunset came and the initiates gathered around the pond to pray. The familiar prayers felt empty tonight, had since Bell attacked her. She wanted the impossible: for the gods to choose them all.
She wound her blanket around herself and stared up at Taelanna’s statue.
“Why must you only choose one?” Lai asked.
“Each priestess is the voice of her year,” Mir responded, her voice so close Lai almost jumped into the pond. “She represents her generation until the time of her death.”
“I know what the holy book says. But it’s not fair. They choose multiple Keepers of the Dawn every year.” Almost half the boys who made it to their trial—fighting one of the priestess initiates—survived, earning their place in the order. “And they only have one trial.”
“The Keepers of the Dawn guard the temples, but a priestess must do much more.” Mir glanced up at the statue of Ravina. “Besides, those who fail are granted an afterlife among the gods. Doesn’t that almost seem like a greater honor?”
Lai shifted her weight uncomfortably. “I don’t know.”
Lai found herself standing at the edge of a clearing lit by a full moon hanging low in the sky. Up ahead a lake glimmered in the moonlight. Six people stood around it, their backs to her. Forest grew thick on the other side, ancient trees stretching towards the sky.
She took a step forward, careful not to make a sound. All the same the people beside the lake turned to face her. The moon glowed brighter, illuminating their faces. Lai stared at them, recognition turning quickly to shock.
They were not people. They were her gods. She saw it in their familiar faces, she felt it in her bones. She had known them her whole life.
Taelanna, dressed in burgundy riding clothes, came forward. “Do not fear. You would not be here if you weren’t welcome.”
Lai knelt anyway. Priestesses often communicated with the gods in their dreams. It made sense for an initiate to do so the night before the trials. And if they were real, this was probably another test. A test I can’t afford to fail.
“We did not bring you here to worship,” Taelanna said. “Rise.”
She got up, still watching the ground.
“Face me properly,” Taelanna demanded.
Lai raised her gaze slowly. The goddess had already crossed the clearing and stood within arm’s reach. She carried a crimson pillow which held two slightly curved blades the width of swords and the length of Lai’s forearm. Niro, a style of blade invented by her earliest ancestors. The wooden handles were painted bright red.
“What are these for?” Lai asked.
“You.” Taelanna held the pillow out towards her.
Lai stared at the blades. A gift from the goddess herself?
The handles fit her hands perfectly and the blades weighed almost nothing. She had spent years training with the niro and tried many different pairs, but none as fine as these ones.
Taelanna smiled and took a step back. The pillow vanished and another set of niro appeared in her hands.
“Shall we test your new blades?” Taelanna asked.
Lai gulped. The goddess surely didn’t want to fight her?
“I—”
“You are here to prove your skills,” Taelanna said. “Of course, I can always send you back.”
Lai had no idea what fighting her favorite goddess would win her, but leaving meant failure. So she tightened her grip on her knives and moved into a defensive stance.
“I’ll stay,” Lai said.
“Good,” Taelanna said, lowering herself into a defensive position. “Let us begin.”
Lai nodded, letting instinct take over as she raised the knives to cover her face. The world around them blurred, but she saw every detail of Taelanna’s stance. How far apart her feet sat, the angle of her sword, the neutral expression on her face. Her beautiful face, with its reddish brown eyes and long, pointed chin. Focus.
They circled each other three times, each time closing some of the distance. Lai could not bring herself to strike first. She barely even believed this was happening.
Halfway through their fourth cir
cle Taelanna came in, swiping towards Lai’s head with one knife. Lai ducked and rolled sideways. She raised her arms and caught the next blow with her left blade. She pushed with all her strength, driving Taelanna back. After a moment Taelanna jumped away, putting some distance between them.
Lai stood no chance of winning, but she held her own for what seemed like hours, fending off one blow after another until her muscles screamed at her. Finally she decided to throw all her strength into one move. The fight had to end sometime. Surely the goddess didn’t want her to simply give up.
Tightening her grip on the niro, Lai dove towards Taelanna’s feet and hit the ground hard. She rolled between the goddess’s legs and thrusted her blades out, digging them into Taelanna’s ankles. The goddess remained standing. What did I expect?
Lai held her breath. She wouldn’t be able to get up again before Taelanna could kill her. If that was what the goddess had in mind.
Taelanna moved away from her, a broad smile on her face. “You pass,” she said.
“Does that mean I’ll become priestess?”
But Taelanna had already turned away. She faced the sun as it appeared over the treeline, raising her arms to the sky. Lai shielded her eyes as the goddess burst into flames. Lai screamed but Taelanna didn’t, her face spreading into a blissful smile as her human form burned away, her arms becoming fiery wings, her legs transforming into a massive tail. Finally her head transformed into a phoenix’s head, her mouth stretching into a beak and her hair turning into fire.
With a great cry unlike anything Lai had ever heard before, the goddess took off towards the sun. Lai squinted into the sun for a long time, as if Taelanna might fly back out of it at any moment.
Chapter Three
Lai threw her sweat soaked blanket off and went to the pond to wash her face. Other girls were waking up all around her. If they had dreamed of the gods, they did not speak of it. She wanted to ask them, to know if she was special, but she couldn’t even bring herself to ask Mir. If she was the only one who had the dream it would crush the other girls’ spirits before the trials even began.