by Dianna Gunn
Lai grabbed her mother’s pendant out from beneath her robe and clutched it tightly, whispering a short prayer and hoping her mother’s spirit would hear it.
“I bet you were the first one up,” Mir said, sitting up.
“Of course.” Lai forced herself to smile.
Mir’s eyes narrowed. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m nervous, that’s all,” Lai said.
“You’re never nervous.” Mir slid out of her blanket and moved closer to Lai. “What’s really wrong?” she asked, her voice little more than a whisper.
“I keep thinking about Bell.”
“What she did wasn’t your fault,” Mir said.
“But it wasn’t really her fault either.”
The stone doors opened, flooding the hallway with sunlight. Lai had to blink three times before Ellanora came into focus, walking towards them. She held a large basket in one hand.
The high priestess called the girls over and handed out chunks of blessed bread, the only thing initiates were allowed to eat before the first trial. Lai devoured half of hers in one bite, relieved to fill her stomach at last.
“When you leave this place you will begin the greatest trials of your lives,” Ellanora said, handing Mir the last piece of bread. “At the end, one of you will return to be anointed as priestess.
“Most of you will never see this place again. Enjoy your last moments here. When all have gathered outside you will begin the final steps of your journey to womanhood.”
Ellanora bowed and hurried out of the temple, leaving the great stone doors open.
Lai finished her bread in two more bites before returning to the statues of her gods. She stared at them for a long time. “Please choose me,” she whispered, bowing to each of them in turn, her eyes memorizing every detail of the statues. She spent the longest time watching Taelanna’s statue, wondering if the goddess was using it to watch her in return.
After a while she folded her blanket and left.
Several Keepers of the Dawn stood around sixteen of the most beautiful horses Lai had ever seen. Her people had bred the strongest and fastest horses for centuries. Initiates and priestesses only rode mares; most of the ones gathered here were chestnut and a handful were pure black, their manes glittering in the sunlight.
Only one was completely white. Lai was immediately drawn to her, but she forced herself to join the other initiates gathering around Ellanora.
“You have trained for many years to get here,” Ellanora said. “It is time to show us what you’ve learned. Chosen or not, you will be women, not children, when you return home.
“Now you may choose your horse. Choose wisely, for if you survive the trials this horse will be yours for many years to come.”
Lai went straight to the white mare. She slowed down as she got close, approaching from the horse’s right side. Lai ran her hand through the horse’s soft white mane. The mare nudged Lai and spread her lips in something like a smile. This is the one.
“I name you Maia,” she said, kissing the horse’s nose before climbing onto her back.
She sat astride Maia and watched the others choose their horses. Mir stood with hers for a long time, seemingly oblivious to the fact that the others were ready to leave.
“Do you think she’s just scared? There’s only one horse left.” one of the girls said.
“It might not even be her horse tomorrow,” another girl said.
Lai rolled her eyes and rode away from them, far enough so she wouldn’t hear their rude words. Any conflict with them now would disqualify her from the trials.
Ellanora rode to the head of the group as Mir finally mounted her horse.
“It is time to meet your destiny,” the high priestess said, pushing her own mount into a trot. The girls spurred their horses to follow.
The once great city of their ancestors, Valasharn, stretched out before them, many of its buildings starting to crumble. A deep, sandy crater lay where the lake had once been, before the gods dried it out and sent Lai’s people south. Lai’s heart soared at the sight. She had always loved this place, loved dangling her feet in what used to be the lake, feeling the gods’ energy still pulsing through the land.
A short ride away from the main city stood the great stone stadium, the largest structure her people had ever built. Even intense sunshine could not make it anything but foreboding.
Most of the people who had come on the pilgrimage would already be inside the stadium, but the girls’ families stood outside, waiting to welcome them.
Pa stood closest to the entrance, one arm around Loren. When he saw Lai he moved away from her, a large but tense smile spreading across his face.
Lai dismounted and handed Maia’s reins off to one of the Keepers of the Dawn. Pa was at her side before she even turned around. The circles under his eyes had grown in the last two days.
“I lit candles for you this morning. The gods will be watching over you.”
“They’ve always watched over me,” she said coldly. “And you, even if you no longer acknowledge them.”
He ran a hand through his slowly graying hair. “Loren wanted to wish you luck. I told her you didn’t want to speak to her, even for that.”
She couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks Pa.”
All the tension drained out of his expression. “You’ll do great out there.”
“Lai,” Ellanora’s voice boomed. “You’re up first.”
Relief flooded her body. She gave Pa a quick hug—if she did die she wanted him to have something good to remember—and ran into the changing room.
Benches lined two of the walls. Sixteen sparring outfits hung from golden pegs above the benches. Each outfit consisted of horse hide boots, short pants and a thick leather jerkin adorned with a painted sun.
A basin of water waited by the door leading to the stadium, so she washed her hands and face, whispering prayers as she did so.
“Mother, lend me your strength so I may follow in your footsteps,” she muttered.
She straightened up and turned to see an older woman in long black robes standing in the doorway. The black robes belonged to those who failed to become priestesses and chose to live out their lives as temple servants.
“Are you ready?” the old woman asked.
“I am.” She followed the old woman back into the sunlight, opening her eyes wide so they would adjust to the brightness more quickly.
Hundreds of people filled the stadium’s gray stone benches. They cheered as she stepped into the sunlight. The arena floor was dirt turned a dark yellow by the sun. She felt its heat through the soles of her boots as she strode towards the center, where Ellanora stood in bright red robes. A young dark haired initiate stood beside her, holding a large cart of weapons.
As Lai reached the center of the arena Ellanora held one hand up above her head. Silence fell almost instantly. A young man emerged from the changing room on the other side of the arena. His silver hair hung in a long braid.
Her chest constricted as he drew close. She had known her opponent would be around her age, raised for this fight like she had been, but seeing him up close—he could have been her brother.
He reached the center of the arena and bowed deeply. Lai stiffly returned the bow.
“Choose your weapons,” Ellanora said. “And remember, no magic is permitted.”
“I choose the long sword,” the young man said.
Lai waited until he had his weapon before she spoke. “I choose the niro.”
The younger initiate handed over two blades with red handles exactly like the ones from Lai’s dream. She stared at them, hands outstretched halfway. They could well have been the same knives.
“Lai?” Ellanora’s voice broke the spell of the blades.
Lai grabbed the knives and stepped away from the cart, trying to keep her expression ne
utral. It has to be a good sign.
“I’m ready,” she said, tightening her grip on the niro.
Ellanora nodded and raised her hands to the sky. The stadium fell silent.
“The strongest and smartest of our youth have come to this sacred place to discover who will join the holy orders and who will join the gods in the afterlife,” Ellanora said, her voice booming with magic. “Let the best warrior prevail.”
The younger initiate dragged the cart away and Ellanora lifted the hunting horn to her lips to begin the fight.
The sound of the horn filled Lai’s whole consciousness. The stadium around them faded away and her opponent came into focus. Lai couldn’t help noticing how strong his jaw line was, the way his chin came to a sharp point almost like a girl’s. He was beautiful, like a fine piece of art. And she had to destroy him.
Her opponent closed the distance between them in a few powerful strides and started swinging, sword aimed low to strike her legs. She jumped back, narrowly avoiding the first blow. He had long reach, but she had longer legs. She doubled back, dodging blow after blow. Swords were heavy. He would tire out eventually. Her muscles might already be sore from fasting and poor sleep, but she had spent a lifetime training for this moment. Nothing could stop her now.
She led him around the stadium twice before he managed to graze her left leg. She howled and rolled away, her pain igniting the rage she so carefully kept buried. It’s time to end this.
She charged, ducking and rolling under her opponent’s legs as he swung for her. Lai rose to her feet and sunk both of her knives into his back. His screams filled her ears and the world around them vanished completely. Nothing but the sound existed, the sound and the warm blood soaking her hands, her arms, her face.
He grew heavy and they sank to the ground together, him choking on his own blood, her gripping the niro as if letting go would kill her too.
Somewhere in the arena a horn sounded three times. The crowd started cheering, their voices combining into a thunderous roar. It’s over. She yanked the niro out of his back. A stream of blood spurted from the wound, filling her mouth and eyes with crimson. She dropped the niro to wipe it away, spitting blood on the yellow sand. It seemed so bright all around the crimson pool. She gagged and turned away from the body, stomach churning.
After a moment Lai rose on shaky legs to face the crowd. She forced herself to smile, to raise her arms triumphantly. This was supposed to be her moment of glory.
It felt more like disaster. Tears dripped down her cheeks, their saltiness filling her mouth, mingling with the metallic taste of blood. It took all her concentration to keep the smile plastered on her face as she lowered her arms again. Why are they still cheering? Yet only a year before she had cheered the loudest, egging her sisters on as they slaughtered innocent young men. Men who only wanted to serve the same gods they did.
Her vision blurred with tears, she tried to walk out of the stadium, but she only made it five steps before her knees buckled. The cheering pounded against her head as if it might make her deaf. Why won’t they stop?
Someone grabbed her arm and put it over their shoulder, pulling her back into standing position. She turned her head long enough to see the young initiate, her expression grim as she half-carried Lai towards the exit.
“Thanks,” she said. Her voice sounded alien, as if she had already changed into an unrecognizable person.
Her knees gave out again and she drifted into a sea of darkness.
Chapter Four
She woke in a small white room lit by several green candles. Somebody had washed the blood off of her and changed her into clean robes. They had even set her down on a bed, but her head throbbed like she had slept on the floor.
Pa entered the room as she swung her legs out of bed. The first trials must be over.
“Mir?” she asked. She would mourn the other girls—most of them had been her friends once—but she would only truly miss Mir.
“She won.”
Relieved, she leaned back against her pillows, smiling at the stone ceiling.
“Seven girls did not,” he continued. “I’m on my way to their memorial.”
“I want to come.”
“Are you well enough?”
“If I am not, I do not deserve to be priestess.” Those girls had devoted their lives to the gods, even sacrificed those lives when duty called for it. They deserved to be honored.
“You always were stubborn.”
“We were friends.”
His expression darkened but he didn’t respond. He was one of many who found these ancient trials barbaric—part of why he converted to Loren’s religion—but he wouldn’t say so here, in the middle of them.
After a long moment of silence, he offered her a hand. She accepted it and let him help her out of bed. The stone floor was brutally cold on her feet but it took only a moment to slip into her boots. She put one arm through Pa’s. They hadn’t been alone like this since before the wedding. She wanted to ask him a hundred questions about his life, his work, the many trips he took to trade with the southern kingdoms. But she didn’t ask him anything, too exhausted to make the words come out.
So they walked to the center of town in silence. The bodies had already been burned, but she could see the mass of candles around the memorial long before they reached it.
The city center featured a great stone stage. Once it had been the place of many gatherings, concerts, plays. Now it housed a memorial altar covered with golden cloth and brightly burning candles.
She whispered each name on the list as she read it, the names coming out in a jumble until she reached the bottom—
Stiel. Stiel was dead. Lai reread the name a dozen times, each time hoping she had read it wrong before, the pain in her chest growing as each time she read the same name.
“She was your friend, wasn’t she?” Pa asked.
“They were all my friends once,” she said, her voice shaking. “I—I would like to mourn alone.”
He frowned but let her go all the same. “Of course.”
She grabbed the box of candles from behind the memorial altar. There wasn’t enough room left for her to light a candle for each girl so she lit only two: one for Stiel and one for the others.
“May the gods welcome you into their homeland,” she said, touching the stone carved with their names. “And may your soul know joy.”
She sat by the altar for several moments, watching others deposit small gifts for the girls’ spirits and light more candles. What would they have brought if I died?
Lai shook the thought away and went to join her people at the feast. They feasted on every night of the trials, each feast larger than the last until the massive celebration the night the priestess was chosen. Most people had already eaten. Those still at the tables were trading stories over massive wine goblets.
Lai went to the emptiest table and sat as far from the other people as possible. She didn’t feel like laughing or celebrating, even if she had completed the first trial. Stiel is dead. Her and so many others. The men didn’t even have their own memorial.
She grabbed a massive hunk of bread and served herself some soup. Her stomach growled as the smell of cooked meat filled her nostrils. She gulped it down in a few mouthfuls, glad it wasn’t hot enough to burn her tongue.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat that quickly.”
She glanced up at Pa. He stood a few feet away, smiling at her again. Only this time it was a real smile, a smile of relief.
“Do you mind if I sit here?” He gestured at the bench beside her.
“Don’t you want to sit with Loren?”
“She’s already sleeping.”
Lai glared at him but nodded.
“Thanks.” He sank into the seat beside her. “You did great today.”
“You didn’t even want me to come he
re.”
He shifted uncomfortably and lowered his gaze. “I am a scared old man.”
Who couldn’t even have faith in his own daughter. “Your fear wasn’t going to stop me.”
He brushed a strand of hair away from her forehead, tucking it behind her ear. “I’m glad it didn’t. You’re a better warrior than I ever imagined.”
A great weight lifted from her shoulders. She had finally proven herself to her father. In a couple days she would prove herself to the rest of their people and earn her place as priestess.
They talked until the celebrations ended and servants were clearing away the wine pitchers. Lai slept better than she’d had in months.
In the morning she let her hair down and brushed it out, then met Ellanora and the other initiates at the northern edge of the ancient city. Today’s trial took place outside the stadium, in three shrines built for this purpose when her people settled here.
The three great shrines were long, narrow halls with tall stained glass windows. A priestess stood in front of each. The closest one was Annabell, their best healer, dressed in the green robes of Ravina. Their best seer, Veronica, stood in front of the second shrine dressed in Valla’s silver. At the furthest shrine stood Shayna, their best warrior, wearing Taelanna’s red.
“Lai, step forward,” Ellanora said.
She stepped instinctively towards Shayna, but the priestess shook her head.
“This is your place,” Veronica called. “Come to me, Lai.”
Lai took a deep breath and approached Veronica, her heart sinking further into her stomach with each step. She had never been a gifted seer. But Taelanna already chose me. She could only hope it would make up for her own shortcomings.
Sunlight filled the shrine with more colors than Lai had ever seen before, vividly illuminating the gods painted on the stone floor. Awe replaced fear as she stared down at the beautiful depictions of her gods. Not as beautiful as the statues in the ancient temple, but still incredible.
She forced her gaze away from the gods on the floor and followed Veronica further into the building. At the end of the hall a statue of Valla stood facing a statue of Kalmar. A gray stone altar adorned with a large obsidian bowl sat between them. As they drew closer she saw a large vial of silver spider-silk on the bowl’s left side. On the other side sat a small jar of Seersfire, a ball of brightly glowing blue flame. Veronica remained silent until they were almost at the altar.