We both freeze. I unwrap myself from around Cam and he puts his hands on my hips to steady me as I regain my sense of balance. I look up to see him staring at me. I see the lust in his eyes. They look almost stormy. Then he winks at me before taking my hand and turning around to face the music.
Greg is standing in the middle of the driveway with a pissed off look on his face. The light from the porch is shining in my eyes and when I try to raise my hand to block it, I realize Cam hasn’t let go of me. I can’t help but smile. My smile is lost when I realize Greg has his gun in his hand.
Shit!
This has gone from uncomfortable to oh-my-fucking-god in less than ten seconds. Why is he holding his gun?
“Hey Greg,” I say, my voice trembling with fear.
“Go inside Co – Katrina.”
Damn him! He needs to be more careful.
“Um… I think I’ll stay out here for a while. You can go ahead without me.” I’m trying to sound brave, but I’m pretty sure I sound like a small child who’s being disciplined.
“Why don’t we all go inside then?” It’s not really a suggestion but more of a command from Greg. You can hear he’s angry. Why? I’m not really sure, but I would put money down that we are about to find out. He turns and walks back into the house. My feet won’t move. I’m afraid that if we walk across the threshold the magic of tonight, of our moment, will be lost. I know it will.
Cam gives my hand a tug and I look up to see he’s not afraid. Whatever he’s thinking or feeling, fear is not it. I take a deep breath, trying to slow my racing heart from the passion of the last few minutes mixed with the fear my body is feeling, and let it out slowly as my feet start to move. This is going to suck.
We make our way to the couch, never letting go of each other. Cam sits down and pulls me onto his lap. I’m not sure if he’s goading Greg or letting him know he’s not afraid, but this doesn’t make Greg happy, the look on his face screams murder. I don’t see any sign of his gun anymore which gives me a little bit of relief.
“So,” I say. I’m not sure what is about to happen, but I’d like to get it over with.
“I think you and I should talk alone, Katrina. There is a private matter you and I need to deal with.” Greg’s voice is stern. I know that whatever he needs to tell me probably has to do with the “developments” he was referring to earlier.
“Where’s my mom?” I need to know she’s okay before I let go of Cam’s hand.
“She went to bed right after you left. She’s probably asleep.”
The fact she’s in bed is reassuring but I know for certain if they had a conversation after I left, she is not asleep. She didn’t sleep for days after we left California and her nightmares still haven’t gone away completely. There is no way my mom was asleep.
“Alright. Well, I think you can leave now since I’m home. Thanks for taking care of her.” I stand up, immediately saddened by the loss of Cam’s body pressed tightly against mine. He still hasn’t let go of my hand and I feel like that’s where I’m getting all my strength right now. I hope he can hold on just a little while longer.
Greg stands to leave. I know the second Cam leaves for the night he will be back to talk to me but for now, I want him to leave. He gives me a stern look, glancing back and forth between me, Cam and our intertwined hands, and then lets himself out the front door.
I sit back down in Cam’s lap and cuddle up to his chest. I’m not sure why he lets me at first. I know he must have a thousand questions he wants to ask me. Instead of talking, he wraps his arms protectively around me and kisses my temple. It’s the single nicest thing anyone has ever done to me. At that moment, he not only makes me feel safe for the first time in a long time, but he also makes me feel special.
We sit like that, wrapped up in each other until almost midnight. I knew he probably needed to get home and I needed to get to bed since I had to work in the morning. Shit!
“I have to work tomorrow so I guess you should probably get going,” I say, unable to look at him. I know I will be putting in my notice tomorrow, but he doesn’t. I never wanted a handout when I applied for a job.
He stands and wraps his arms tightly around my waist, pulling me into his warm, hard body. Shit! I almost feel my resolve melting away.
“I know you think I got you that job, but you’re wrong,” he whispers. “Kat, I got you the interview, you got yourself the job. Please don’t quit because of me.”
Damn that sexy voice. He makes it hard to focus on the amazing words he’s saying to me when his voice gets that deep. He’s so fucking distracting. That’s my problem. He’s distracting me from everything I need to focus on right now. I should just let him down, here and now, and get it over with.
I obviously can’t date him, we can’t be involved. The FBI would shit a brick if they found out I was about to blow my cover by dating a socialite. I can’t be near the cameras. I can’t be in the tabloids. I’m not even sure he warrants the tabloids living here in BFE Colorado, but I’m sure his parents do with all their money.
“I won’t quit, but that doesn’t mean we can do this,” I say, pulling back and waving my hand between us. “I don’t want the same things that you want. I like my life low key. I want to be invisible and being with you, near you, will make that almost impossible. I can’t do this.”
He catches my hand and pulls it up to his lips. He kisses my palm and sends shivers through my body. This is harder than I thought it would be. I never planned to like him this much after one date, if you can even call our evening a date.
“You might not be able to do this now but I know you want it and I want you. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Whatever happens, happens. Or, you can tell me to walk away and I will try. I can’t promise I’ll be able to stay away from you, but I will try. Whatever you’re hesitant about, whatever the real reason you are scared of this is, we can work through it. I need you to promise me one thing.”
“What’s that?” I ask sarcastically.
“I need for you to promise me you will always, above everything else, be honest with me and I will always be honest with you.”
I obviously can’t promise him that but how do I tell him I can’t be honest with him. I can’t even tell him I’ve been lying to him this whole time. But have I? This is my life now. This is who I am. Can I be this person and tell him the truth about this person and not feel guilty about it?
“I have to think about it. Not the honesty part. All of it.” I can’t look him in the eye. One look and I may fold right here and now.
“I’ll take what I can get right now,” he says sincerely. I know he wants to say more, but he doesn’t. He kisses me on the forehead and heads towards the front door. He pauses like he’s finally going to say what’s on his mind, but he doesn’t.
The front door closes behind him, I lock it, shut off the lights and head to my room. I’m about to close my bedroom door when I hear the front door open back up. My heart starts to race and I play back the last two minutes in my head. I clearly remember locking the front door behind Cam.
I see a shadow coming down the hallway. They pause outside my mom’s bedroom door before continuing on to the bathroom. They shut the door and then I see light coming from underneath. I feel a panic attack building in my chest and start my breathing exercises to try and get it under control before it gets out of hand.
I hear the water turn on and then off again. The light goes out before the door opens and I duck behind my door so they don’t see me. I know I’m not any safer behind my door, but it’s the only thing I can think to do at that moment. I don’t work well under pressure.
“Can you please come back out here, Courtney?” he asks.
Damn it!
I open my door and flip on my light. I almost forgot about him. Almost. Greg is leaning against the wall outside the bathroom. I expected him to look angry, but he doesn’t. He looks more concerned than anything. I know the conversation is going to happen regardless so I give in a
nd stomp angrily past him and back into the living room.
He doesn’t bother turning the light back on before sitting down next to me on the couch. I can almost hear the wheels turning inside his head. There is obviously something important that he needs to tell me but I need to get a few things off my chest first.
“Look,” I say, breaking the silence. “I’m not sure why you pulled your gun and scared the crap out of Cam like that but it was completely unnecessary and you’re really lucky he didn’t ask any questions, at least he hasn’t yet.”
“I didn’t realize it was you outside.”
That’s all I get. He doesn’t offer more of an explanation and it didn’t really matter anyway. I would never understand his reasons for doing everything he’s done for us.
“Well, let’s not jump to conclusions next time.”
“There won’t be a next time,” he says pointedly.
“Excuse me? Are you trying to tell me I’m not allowed to go out with my friends?” I knew downplaying my relationship with Cam was pointless considering the compromising situation he found us in, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it any other way.
“No. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying you can’t see that boy again.”
I can feel the anger boiling beneath the surface still and his words, his demands, are slowly but surely causing it to seep out and into the air. “I’m pretty sure the last time I checked you weren’t my father so I guess that means you don’t get to make those kinds of decisions for me. So, if this conversation is over,” I say, standing in the process.
“Sit down Courtney.”
It’s not a request and it’s not meant to be. I’m sitting before I even realize that he’s serious. The tone he is taking with me is meant to scare me so I know he’s serious, but it’s not anger that I hear. I can’t pinpoint exactly what is going on, but I know it’s something.
“Listen, what I was trying to tell you earlier… we need to talk about that and then we can discuss your boyfriend.” He pauses only long enough for me to nod my head, letting him know I’m paying attention, before continuing. “The people who were after your father… they know you and your mom are alive.”
Oh! My! God!
Cam
I knew if I sat in front of her house long enough he would reappear. I watched as he let himself in. I saw the faint glow of a light coming from somewhere inside the house and then it was dark again. I saw shadows moving around, but I couldn’t tell whose they were. I sat there for over an hour before I decided to leave. I didn’t want to leave, but I wasn’t doing her any good sitting in my car, “stalking” her as she would say.
The entire drive home I replayed our night together over and over again in my mind. Something was missing. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was something she wasn’t telling me and I’m pretty sure that it had to do with Greg. I wasn’t getting a bad vibe from the guy, but I could tell his presence made Kat uneasy.
I wanted to call her and make sure everything was okay, but it was late by the time I finally got home. I knew she was working the next day and even though I didn’t need to keep up the appearance that I worked there anymore, I decided I would stop in to see her. Maybe I would sit in her section so we would have more time to talk. Is that keeping it low profile? Probably not.
I crawled into bed trying again to replay the night. I was looking for clues as to what she was hiding from me. We all have secrets, myself included. I’m not sure why hers were bothering me so much. Over and over again I thought about how she acted towards Greg, how he acted towards her and then I realized what the missing piece of the puzzle was.
Her mom.
She barely spoke to me and it seemed like she was sad or hurt. Kat is quiet and keeps to herself, but she doesn’t seem sad. More than anything, she seems like she’s trying to avoid being noticed, like she’s hiding from everyone. Not that hiding herself from anyone would ever be possible. I’m not sure she gets that, though.
I watch the way everyone looks at her as she walks the halls. The girls look at her with hate and envy. Mainly because all the guys look at her with lust. Her beauty is astounding. Even though her confidence is lacking right now, her inner beauty shines. I’m not sure why she’s trying to hide in clothing which doesn’t suit her personality or behind glasses she doesn’t even need, but I am going to make it my mission to get her to tell me.
I will break down the walls Kat has around her heart if it’s the only thing I do this year. I will know everything about her and she will know everything about me. It’s been four weeks since I ran into her and landed on top of her and they have been the best four weeks of my life. I will chase her until she finally lets me catch her.
Sleep eludes me most of the night. I sit in silence with my parents as I pick at my food. My father hasn’t been home for breakfast in months so when I walked down to find him helping my mom cook I was surprised to say the least. When he spotted me you could tell he instantly was nervous. I have him by the balls and he knows it.
I excuse myself and leave the room without looking back. The second I close my bedroom door and lock it behind me I pull out my laptop. There has to be a part of Kat I’m missing. I search Facebook for her again. Nothing. I can’t find anything. I search Google. Nothing. It’s like she doesn’t even exist.
Maybe the way her mom reacted to me was only in my imagination. Maybe, just maybe, there’s something going on that she’s going to tell me about today. I can’t get my heart broken by this girl who I barely know but for some reason am falling completely in love with. I don’t think I will be able to survive if I lose her.
There’s only one way to find out. I need to see her. I glance over at my clock and see her shift should be ending in a little over an hour. If I am going to catch her after work then I need to get moving.
I push myself up and out of my chair. I power down my laptop and head off to take a shower. She’s the only thing I can think about. I can still feel her lips on mine, her legs wrapped around me. I remember the feel of her skin under my hands. It was so soft.
Shit!
He had a gun.
I know I saw it, but I’m not sure why I didn’t realize it at the time. Greg was holding a gun when he interrupted us in the driveway.
I find myself rushing through my shower. I need to see her right now. I need to see that she’s okay, that no one’s hurt her. Why the hell was he holding a gun?
I’m out the door in ten minutes. I don’t bother to say good-bye to my parents. I see my mom looking out the front window, a look of genuine concern on her face, as I pull out of the driveway. I wave but don’t bother to wait long enough to see if she waves back before speeding off.
When I reach the resort I realize Kat’s shift isn’t over. I peek my head in the kitchen, but I don’t see her. I take a slow walk through the dining room and still don’t see her. Betsy catches sight of me and as soon as she heads in my direction I duck out of the dining room and into the men’s restroom. She’s working so I know she won’t be able to follow me.
I wait a few minutes and decide to check the parking lot for her car. If she’s here then I can wait for her out there until her shift is over in… ten minutes and counting.
I find her mom’s car parked in her usual spot. I lean against the driver’s side door and stare in the direction I know she will be coming from. I need to take her somewhere alone to talk. I need for her to tell me what the hell is going on. If there’s really nothing going on, at least my mind will be put at ease and I won’t have this absurd feeling rolling around in my stomach.
Unfortunately, now that I see the look on her face as she’s walking towards me, I know there is definitely something going on. My stomach sinks and my heart starts to break knowing that whatever is going on is going to suck. Probably for both of us.
7.
Katrina
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
This cannot be happening. I’ve given up too m
uch for this to be happening. I’ve hurt too many people for this to be happening. I’ve done everything they asked of me, everything I didn’t want to do because it just plain sucked, to avoid this from happening.
Shit! This cannot be happening!
“How?” I whisper. I feel like screaming, but I stop myself. I don’t want to wake up my mom. I’m assuming she already knows, she’s probably not asleep out of fear, but still it comes out just above a whisper while the storm rages inside of me.
“We’re still not entirely sure. All we know is our man on the inside said you two were just added to their ‘list.’ You wouldn’t be on the list if you were dead.”
“I still don’t understand. We did everything you asked us to do to prevent this from happening. Aren’t you guys supposed to be the experts here?”
I knew that no matter how hard they all tried there was no real way to keep us hidden forever. Someone, someday would eventually spot us and put the pieces together. I never thought someday would come so soon.
“Look, Courtney…”
“Stop calling me that! You almost screwed up in front of Cam and blew my cover. My name is Katrina now. That’s who you asked me to be so that’s who I am trying to be.” He can hear how upset I am and I don’t care.
“I know it’s hard.”
“Hard? Don’t you think it’s hard for me? Hard for mom? You have no idea how hard this is to… pretend. Everything about me has to be a secret. I can’t even tell anyone my real name. You don’t have to tell me what’s hard. Living a secret life is hard.”
I shut him down. He was quiet for a while and so was I. I thought my anger would subside but it kept boiling under the surface. I needed to get to bed, to try and rest. I was due at work in… shit, six hours. Where had the time gone?
“I have to work in the morning so I’m going to bed. I’m assuming you are crashing on the couch?”
“Yeah,” he replied, grabbing my hand before I could get up. “I’m sorry Court, I really am. I will keep you safe the best I can until we can fix this. I promise.”
The Secrets Duet Page 7