I grab his hand and wave to Bethany as I practically drag him down the hallway towards the stairwell. I’m not sure what he has planned for us today, but I know it only involves the two of us. I need him right now. I need to feel his body pressed against mine. I need skin on skin contact. My body is craving his touch.
After he dropped me off I instantly felt alone. I knew Bethany was in the room. I knew Cam was picking me up for lunch. I knew my mom would be at the house when I got there. I kept telling myself all of this, but yet I still felt alone. I don’t feel alone right now. After the way he looked at me when he opened the door to my dorm room, the emptiness went away. The simple fact he was waiting for me on the other side of the door calmed all my fears. He has that effect on me.
Once we are seated in the café and have our drinks, I reach across the table and place my hand on top of his. I need to touch him. It’s innocent, but it’s not at the same time. Instantly my body reacts to his and at that moment I know I will never be able to live without him again.
“So,” he says cautiously. “Bethany was asking a bunch of questions and I may have screwed up a little.”
“What do you mean screwed up?”
“I may have called you Kat. I did call you Kat but I fixed it. I told her it was a nickname I gave you from when we first met.” He looks away from me probably unsure of how I’m going to react.
“Okay,” I say as lovingly as possible. My heart is racing, my pulse pounding in my ears. I sure hope she believed him or else it’s not really fixed and she’s going to start asking questions I can’t give her answers to. “What exactly did you tell her? You know, so we have our stories straight.”
“I told her the truth, sort of. I told her when we first met you gave me a fake name, that I started calling you Kat because of it.”
“Okay,” I say, dragging the syllables out a little longer than necessary.
“She seemed to believe me. She said she thought it was a cute nickname.”
“We need to get the rest of our story straight too, in case anyone asks. Actually, I know Bethany will ask so we need to make sure our stories are the same in case Brett asks. What else did you tell her?”
“Nothing. That was it. You walked out of the room and I kind of lost my ability to speak for a minute.” He’s smiling at me with that sexy as hell grin of his. I want to jump across the table and rip his clothes off, but we have things to discuss first.
We get our stories straight while we eat. We met when I was staying at the resort. I gave him a fake name because I didn’t know who he was. We had a ‘thing,’ spent the summer together and then I left. We lost contact because we both thought it would be better at the time. It sounded good enough. Short and sweet, no details. If anyone asked more we would tell them our relationship was private and we wanted to keep it that way.
We walked around campus after lunch. He showed me where his classes were and I showed him mine. We lived on opposite ends of the campus and our classes were at opposite ends. There was no way we would have ever run into each other had it not been for our roommates. We had them to thank for bringing us back together.
He asked about my life after I left Colorado, but I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to tell him so I changed the subject. He told me about what happened after I left. People apparently thought I had some kind of breakdown and that my mom took me somewhere to get me “help” with my problems. No one ever said what those problems were, but I guess there was a lot of speculation.
A couple people asked Cam, but he told them he didn’t know where I was. It wasn’t a lie. He had no clue where I went. It was better that way. Plausible deniability.
“So, since you’re not going to tell me where you’ve been can you at least tell me how you’ve been? How’s your mom?”
I let out a long breath, knowing I won’t be able to avoid the topic forever but thankful he’s letting me off the hook right now. “We’re both fine. It was tough at first and it’s still not easy, but we’re making it work.”
“Are you… safe?”
“For now. Greg says everything, everyone, has been taken care of, and we should ideally be able to live a normal life from here on out. I don’t know, though. Things can change so quickly. Look how fast everything happened when I left Colorado. We were gone in less than twenty-four hours.”
He starts to say something but pauses, like he needs to think about it first. It looks like he might say something again and then he doesn’t. Instead, he links our hands and tugs me over to a bench and pulls me down onto his lap.
“Is Greg still around?” That’s not what I expected him to say.
“Yeah. He lives with us now. He plays the role of “Dad” when people started to ask questions. He tells everyone that he travels for business so he’s not around much, but it still seems like he’s always there.”
I’m not sure why I’m bothering to speak in code with him. He knows almost everything about everything when it comes to my situation. He should be the one person I feel comfortable talking to about this. It’s not like anything has really changed since I told him the truth.
“Well, that makes me feel a little bit better, knowing he’s there just in case. How does your mom feel about it?”
“Truthfully? I don’t really know. We don’t talk about that stuff much. I’ve learned it’s better to just do as I’m told and lie about what I need to in order to get by. After they found out I told you…” I stop myself before I say something I shouldn’t.
He’s quiet for a few minutes, waiting for me to continue. I don’t plan on telling him what I was going to say. I don’t want him to feel responsible for the months in-between leaving Colorado and ending up here. It was painful enough to live through it.
He catches on pretty quickly. He lets go of my hand and stands. I move to stand next to him and reach for his hand, but he steps back. I sit back down and focus on the cracks in the sidewalk. I’ve upset him. He’s angry. I’m not sure why but that’s the vibe I’m getting from him.
At least ten minutes pass before he stops pacing and sits back down next to me. Without a word, he laces his fingers through mine. We sit there in silence for what feels like forever. I want to say something, anything, but I’m not really sure what will break the tension surrounding us.
“The truth.” That’s all he says.
“I don’t know if I can tell you. It’s not that I want to keep it from you, I just… it’s painful to relive. Give me some time. I want to be honest with you. I want you to know everything about me, the real me, but I need time.” I’m pleading with him by the time I’m done. I need him to understand.
He thinks about it for a few minutes before he replies. He squeezes my hand and says, “Okay. I can give you time. Is forever long enough for you?”
I look up to see the grin I love so much. If it’s possible, I think I fall in love with him a little more. He’s perfect, too perfect, and I’m not sure how I survived without him.
I cuddle up into his side and we sit there. No words are spoken. We don’t need to say anything at that moment. Everything is perfect. We’re here, together, and that’s all either of us needs right now.
It’s been two weeks since Cam and I found each other again, the best two weeks of my life. We’ve spent almost every single moment together. Bethany has actually joked about how inseparable we are. I think she may be waiting for a thank you. She won’t be getting one since I am now convinced it was destiny which brought us back together. Cam is my destiny.
Considering all the craptastic things which have happened to me over the last few years, I deserve to be happy. I’m finally embracing this. That is until my mom calls and starts asking probing questions about why I have suddenly been avoiding her. I want to tell her about Cam, I really do, but I’m afraid Greg will uproot us again.
“So, where have you been hiding?” Mom asks before I even get two feet in the front door.
“Nowhere. I’ve been busy with school.” I’m a great liar, just
not when it comes to my mom. She will see right through me in less than ten seconds. If my voice hadn’t cracked, I would have given her longer.
“I call bullshit.”
“Mom!”
“Really? You’re going to try and tell me you haven’t been avoiding me because you’ve met someone. I know you a little better than that Courtney Lynn. You have a tell, you know.” I do? “Your cheeks start to flush and you bite your bottom lip when you are trying to lie to me. If it’s about a boy, you look straight at my forehead instead of making eye contact.”
I let go of my lip and look directly into my mom’s eyes. I wasn’t aware I was that transparent. Shit! Now I have to tell her.
“So, what’s his name? Where’s he from?”
Time to play twenty questions. Do I try and lie to her? Can I? She apparently knows when I’m lying. I don’t want to tell her yet. I will have to eventually, but I don’t want to yet. Things are going too good right now. I don’t want to screw it up. I don’t want it to end. That’s the biggest fear I have… that it will end. That Greg will move us again.
“So, he found you I take it?” Greg’s voice startles me. I didn’t know he was in town this weekend. When it finally registers what he just said, I turn quickly and find that he has a devious smile on his face.
“WWWWhat?” I stutter.
“Cameron.” Just the way he says his name scares the crap out of me.
“How? How did you know?”
I hear my mom gasp, but I don’t turn around. I’m staring at Greg, looking him directly in the eyes, waiting for an answer. His smile is making me angrier and angrier by the second. He knows something and he’s not telling me.
“How did you know, Greg? How could you possibly know he was here unless…” I stop myself because I know the answer to my question.
I slam the door behind me as I leave. I’m angry at Greg for not telling me. I’m angry at Cam for not telling me and acting as if he knew nothing this whole time.
I beat on Cam’s door for at least five minutes before Brett opens it in only his boxers. I storm past him before he can invite me in. It’s only nine in the morning so I should have waited out of respect for Brett. I can’t. This will eat me alive if I don’t talk to him about it.
I look to where Cam should be sound asleep in his bed and find that it’s empty. “Where is he?” I ask through gritted teeth. You can hear the anger in my voice.
Brett takes a step back, putting some distance between us, before answering. “I don’t know. You woke me up.”
I close my eyes and breathe. I need to calm down before I take the wrong person’s head off. Deep breath in and then out. I do this ten times before I open my eyes again to find Brett still standing in front of me with a questioning look on his face. I won’t tell him what’s going on. If I don’t leave he will ask.
I push past him and open the door. My jaw drops as I take him in. He’s dripping with sweat. It’s soaked through his shirt and you can see every well-defined muscle through his shirt. He’s glorious and beautiful and… I’m supposed to be mad as hell at him.
I compose myself, close my mouth and toss him a look that he’s sure to understand. He stops mid-stretch. The look of confusion on his face is apparent. We were good last night when he dropped me off at my dorm. Now… now he’s seeing a side of me he’s never seen before.
“Um… hey?”
“We need to talk.” You can hear my anger rising with each word. His eyebrows shoot up and his look of confusion turns to a look of concern.
“Okay.” He draws the word out a few extra syllables. “Just let me change.”
I don’t respond. Instead, I cross my arms over my chest and move out of the doorway so he can get by me. I lean against the wall and stare straight ahead. This conversation is going to suck, but I need to mentally prepare myself for the end result. If he lied to me, deceived me, then this could be it for us, the end of everything.
Cam
I change as quickly as possible knowing if I take too long she might be gone when I get back out there. I’m not sure what’s going on, but she’s pissed off. I’m not sure if she’s pissed at me or at someone else, but it’s obvious that she’s about to take it out on me.
I walk back out into the hall and see she still hasn’t moved. Her eyes are closed now and she’s breathing deeply. When the latch clicks behind me it echoes through the hall causing her to open her eyes. The anger is still there. I was hoping it would subside, even a little, but it looks like it’s grown more intense.
She pushes herself off the wall and walks towards the stairwell without looking at me. I follow her knowing that whatever she wants to talk about, it probably needs to be done in a more private location. I’m only a few feet behind her as we reach my car. I unlock it and she hops in without waiting for me to open the door for her. That’s a first. This is going to be really bad. She’s never once gotten in without me opening her door for her. I know it’s a small thing, but it’s pointing to big issues at the moment.
She doesn’t even wait for me to close the door before she starts. “How could you?”
I’m confused. “How could I what?”
“How could you go behind my back and trick me into believing this was all chance, that you were my destiny and that we found each other again randomly?”
Still confused. I have no idea what she’s talking about. It was chance. It had to have been destiny. How else could we both have ended up at the same college?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. This was destiny. You are my destiny otherwise we wouldn’t be here, having this conversation. I found you. What else matters?”
You can see her thinking it over in her mind. She’s quiet for a while, too long. The longer I sit in that car with nothing but the sounds of our breathing the more worried I get. What happened in the last eight hours to make her so upset?
“Why here? Why did you choose to go to school here?”
I think back to all the acceptance letters and remember the process I went through before choosing which school I wanted to go to. It was a hard decision. I received acceptance letters from every top rated school in the nation, but the only thing I could think about was where she might be. That was when I saw the unopened envelope from Cornell. I didn’t even remember applying to Cornell.
“I don’t know,” I answer her as honestly as I can. “I saw the envelope, opened it, saw I was accepted and made my decision. I don’t even remember applying here. It just felt right for some reason.”
I can see the anger slowly melt away. I can see the realization in her eyes. It’s like I just answered the question she had yet to ask me. Slowly, I reach over and lace our fingers together. She lets me and I’m immediately relieved that she doesn’t pull away.
“It all makes sense now.” Her voice is just above a whisper.
“What makes sense, Kat? I’m still a little lost here.”
“You didn’t apply to Cornell.”
“I didn’t say that I didn’t, I said I didn’t remember applying. I applied to a bunch of schools.” Where is she going with this?
“No. You didn’t apply to Cornell. Greg applied for you. He knew. He knew we would find each other. He probably set up all of our arrangements. You didn’t just get Brett as a roommate by chance and I just didn’t get Bethany by chance. He must have known they were dating, that our paths would have to cross. He did this.”
That’s when it dawns on me. Greg may have set this all up, but it really was destiny that I was here. Out of all the schools, I chose this one. I want to tell her this, but I can see that it’s still whirling around in her head so I keep it to myself. She’ll understand someday. She’ll eventually see it. She’ll eventually feel it. We are destined to be together, forever.
We sit in my car, in silence. After about an hour, she gets out and tells me she’s going to go see Greg. I ask if I can come with her. Her hesitation before answering tells me she wants to do this alone, but I insist. She needs t
o understand that she’s not alone anymore. Also, I need to thank Greg for what he did.
12.
Stacy
Greg is gone by the time Cam and I reach my mom’s place. I immediately get a bad feeling when I walk in the house and see my mother curled up in a ball on the couch, crying. Cam must sense my apprehension because he steps back outside to wait for me.
“Mom?” No answer. “Mom, are you okay? Where’s Greg?”
She looks up at me and I can immediately tell she’s not okay. Her face is stained with the remnants of tears even though it looks like she has yet to stop crying. She’s in the fetal position and shaking. The last time I saw her like this was when we found out about the car accident.
“Mom. I need you to talk to me.” I try the best I can to sound caring. I’m sure it comes out more as urgent.
“He’s at the store, Courtney. He’ll be back soon.”
That’s all she says before she turns her back to me and continues to sob into the couch cushions. I’m not sure why all of this is taking such a toll on her. It was my life that Greg interfered with. I should be the one who is upset by all of this, and I am, but in a different way. I want to punch something, not cry.
I hear Greg’s car pull into the driveway. I sit down and wait. When I don’t hear him come in right away is when it registers that Cam is sitting on the front steps. He must be talking to Greg. Damn it!
I open the front door to see the two of them sitting side by side, deep in conversation. I want to interrupt, I want to scream at both of them, but I can’t seem to find my voice. I’m looking at the two of them and the only thing I can think about is how my dad will never be able to do this. He will never be able to sit on the front steps and talk to my boyfriend like Greg is doing right now.
My tears start to fall before I even realize I’m going to cry. I get it now, why my mom is so sad. What Greg did for me, it makes her realize he is taking care of me like my father would have. He’s trying to make me happy like my father would have. She’s not sad about what Greg did. She’s missing my father and brother today.
The Secrets Duet Page 11