I close the door and walk back into the living room to wait. I stare at my mom and contemplate curling up with her but instead, I curl myself into a ball in the chair and stare at her while my tears continue to fall. I miss them both so much.
I stare out the window and pout. I’m acting like a child, but I don’t care. I don’t want to go on vacation with my family. I want to hang out with my friends over spring break. I wanted to go to New York with Brittney and Alex, but my parents thought that it would be “too dangerous.”
So here I am, stuck in the backseat of my dad’s monstrous SUV, with my brother snoring like a log while my dad navigates us through traffic. We get to go to the Grand Canyon. Whoopie! I could care less about the Grand Canyon. I’m not interested in seeing it or what it has to offer. It doesn’t offer the beautiful lights of New York City or the shopping.
Again, I know I’m acting like a child, a spoiled brat because I normally get whatever I want, but my dad insisted we get out of the city for a few days, so here we are. One big happy family. Well, probably not the happy part since I’m sulking in the backseat.
I nudge Cameron with my elbow and he stops snoring for a brief moment before he’s right back at it. I love my little brother, but he can be so annoying sometimes. Maybe I should sleep? That will at least help pass the time.
I open my eyes to see we’ve arrived at our hotel. Of course, it’s big and beautiful and expensive. This doesn’t really surprise me because I’m not sure if dad knows how to travel any other way. This is our first official family trip since I was around eleven, so at least five years. Last time we went to Disney World. Not Disney Land, here in California, a couple hours from our house. No, dad flew us all to Florida so we could go to Disney World.
That was a fun trip. I remember Cameron being just as tall as me, almost. We were able to ride all the same rides and it made me angry. I remember thinking that because I was older, I should have been able to do more than him, and ride more rides than him. The fact he’s only eleven months younger than me and had his growth spurt that summer allowed him to do everything I was able to do. It pissed me off to no end.
We check in and get some food. Dad wants us to get up early so we can see the sunrise over the canyon. I don’t really care either way. All I want is to go back to sleep. Apparently my nap in the car wasn’t enough. It sure didn’t improve my mood any. I’m still pissed that I didn’t get my way.
Dad wakes us up bright and early the next morning. I guess I shouldn’t say bright since the sun isn’t even up yet. We drive to the entrance of the canyon and wait. The sun takes it’s time rising, but it’s worth the wait. It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.
Now that I’ve seen it, though, I want to go back to bed. I was having a wonderful dream about Taylor and I would like to pick back up where it left off. I am finally comfortable with my feelings for him. He’s not the smartest guy I’ve ever dated, but he’s definitely the best looking by far. And his body… damn! knew I was a goner the first time I saw him without his shirt on last summer.
Anyway, I’ve finally decided I might want to lose my virginity to him. All my friends have started to get serious with their boyfriends, giving in to their desires, and things seem to be going fine for them. I know that he wants to. He’s not pressuring me, yet, but it’s going to start feeling like that soon. I’ll tell him when I get home. We’re only here for a few days, anyway. I have plans to meet up with him and Brittney at the beach on Saturday morning. I’ll tell him then. Maybe.
Dad’s cell phone ringing brings me back. My heart is racing and I have a few beads of sweat trickling down the back of my neck. Wow! Just the thought of finally having sex is causing my body to react.
I hear dad’s anger build the longer he’s on the phone. It has to be work. He quit six months ago but they still call him. He has yet to tell either Cameron or I what he used to do or why he quit. I’m sure my mom knows but she’s not saying. I still haven’t told anyone that I found his badge and gun, that I know he used to work for the FBI.
My dad hangs up the phone and pulls over to the side of the road. He whispers something to my mom and the only thing I hear is her swift intake of breath. Something is obviously wrong. He undoes his seatbelt and turns to face us. I can’t read his expression but he’s not smiling and that can’t be good.
“Hey, guys. I hate to have to tell you this but something big has come up and we need to head back home.”
He doesn’t give us a chance to respond. He turns back around, buckles back up, and pulls back onto the road. We make a quick stop at the hotel to pack and load our things and then we’re on our way home. I try to sleep on the way back, but the situation is bugging me. I can’t even begin to try and guess what’s going on. A million random things go through my mind, but none of them make any sense to me. I know it has to be pretty bad if dad is racing back home at the speed that he is.
When we finally pull in our driveway I’m not surprised to see Greg waiting for us. He and dad disappear into dad’s office and close the door behind them. They don’t come out for a few hours and the look on Greg’s face is what scares me the most. It’s not anger as I expected, it’s apologetic. Whatever is going on, it’s not good.
I wake up to the smell of bacon. I hear my mom’s voice coming from the kitchen and for a moment I almost forget what’s been going on. Then I hear Greg’s voice, followed by Cam’s laugh. Shit!
I uncurl myself and head into the kitchen to see the three of them sitting around the table, eating breakfast. I’m not sure what to think. This is not what I expected to wake up to. When I fell asleep my mom was crying and Greg and Cam were talking outside. I couldn’t have been asleep that long, at least not long enough for the entire universe to shift.
“Hey,” I say as a way of announcing my presence.
All three of them look at me and the smiles they had ten seconds ago disappear. It’s uncomfortable the way they are all staring at me. I’m getting a bad feeling somewhere deep down. A feeling I don’t like. It’s all too familiar to the feelings I had the night Greg told me we were leaving Colorado.
I take the seat next to Cam and pick at the luke-warm food in front of me. I don’t make eye contact with anyone and no one says anything. I feel Cam slide his hand up my thigh and squeeze. I look up and make eye contact. His eyes are warm and caring and it takes a second for me to realize he’s trying to tell me without any words, that everything is going to be okay. I need the words, but I need them from Greg.
Without breaking eye contact with Cam, I start to speak. “Greg. What’s going on?”
There’s a long pause before he begins to speak. I’m not sure if he’s trying to decide what to say or how to say it but it’s long enough that I recognize the fact that whatever is about to come out of his mouth, I’m probably not going to like it.
“Cam and I had a nice, long talk about how he got here.”
“And...” He knows I’m going to make him tell me everything. I still don’t break eye contact with Cam, knowing I’m going to need his strength to get me through whatever is about to happen.
“I sent in his application and made sure he got accepted. After that, the choice was his. I wanted to make sure that if you two were meant to be together you had a chance. I saw how happy he made you and I felt bad for tearing you two apart. None of this was your choice, the program I mean.” He pauses before continuing. “I left the decision in his hands. Once he decided to attend, I started the rest of the wheels in motion. I did some research into the other students and found Bethany and Brett. It was the perfect situation. I rearranged some dorm assignments to make sure the two of you found each other. The rest is history.”
I take a minute and let all the information sink in a little. It wasn’t as hard to hear as I thought it would be. The softness in Greg’s voice made me realize he did this for me, to make me happy, not out of malice. He was trying to give me back a piece of my life and it worked.
“Thank you.
” It’s all I can come up with. I know it’s not nearly enough to describe how much what he did means to me, but it’s a start.
Cam squeezes my thigh again and turns to face Greg. “What now?”
“Well, her identity is still a secret. I know you have some of the details but not all of them and it needs to stay that way. The less you know, the better. Someday, down the road a long way, she can tell you what happened and who she is, but it can’t happen yet.”
I take notice of the change in tone in his voice. Something is happening. Something has changed. I look to my mom who immediately looks away. The simple fact she won’t make eye contact tells me it’s something big and probably dangerous. We’re in danger again.
“What’s going on Greg? I can hear it in your voice. What’s changed?” I sound like my father when I say it, the stern voice he used to take with me and Cameron when we were in trouble.
“We can have that conversation another time, Court.” His eyes get really big, knowing he’s just used my real name in front of Cam. I look at Cam, but I’m not really sure if it’s registered with him yet. If he caught Greg’s slip up, he doesn’t let it show.
“Fine. I’ll be back for dinner tonight and we can talk then.” I don’t give him the option. I need to know soon. Greg comes and goes as he pleases. Sometimes he’s gone for a while and sometimes he’s only gone for the night. I need this information before he disappears again. We never really know when he’s going to come back.
Cam and I left after breakfast. He dropped me off at my dorm and promised to come over after I got home from having dinner with my mom and Greg. I didn’t want him to leave, but I needed to get some homework done. After staring at the same page, the same paragraph, the same word, for over five minutes I knew I wouldn’t be getting anything done.
I called my mom to see what time dinner was. After talking to her for a few minutes, I finally found the courage to ask her what I really wanted to know. She dodged my questions and when I finally broke down and yelled at her she told me to talk to Greg at dinner. Big. Red. Flag.
Something was definitely going on. Whether it was bad or really bad was the question. I got off the phone with my mom just as Bethany and Brett walked into the room. She looked upset and he looked evil. I didn’t know him well, but I had never seen that look before. The look on his face scared me a little.
“Hey guys,” I greeted them cautiously. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Brett answered for both of them, shooting Bethany a look which told her to keep quiet.
“Alright. Well, I’m heading over to my mom’s for dinner. Bethany, did you want to come with me? My mom’s been dying to meet you.” I knew that bringing her with me would set me back a little but I would eventually get the answers I needed and it looked like she needed an escape more than I did at the moment.
She looked to Brett before answering. “No thanks. Why don’t you come hang out with us?”
Something was off. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I was positive it had to do with Brett. I didn’t really want to leave her alone, but I also was not going to be around him right now. He was scaring the shit out of me.
“Sorry, I can’t. My mom’s expecting me and my dad is home for a few days so I want to see him too.” It felt so weird to call Greg Dad. I tried not to do it often. I felt like I was cheating on my real dad, but it was just a front, a necessity, and if my dad was watching me, he would understand.
“Your dad?” Brett’s evil laugh made me jump and take a step back. I’m flush against my desk with nowhere to go now and all I want to do is leave. When he takes a step towards me I start to panic a little. “Don’t you mean Agent Davis?”
Shit!
Cam
I played it off like I didn’t hear Greg, but it was hard to miss. Her name is Court, probably Courtney. It’s beautiful and it suits her. After she disappeared it was the one thing I wished she had told me. I always wondered.
After I drop Kat/Court/Stacy, whatever I’m supposed to call her now, off at her dorm that afternoon, I try to study but I can’t help but wonder what really happened. I know I shouldn’t look for the answers that I need, I should wait for her to give them to me, but I can’t help myself. My laptop is five feet away and the internet can provide me with all the answers. She doesn’t need to know.
I’m not sure what to type in the search bar so I stare at it for a while. I know her first name, that her house exploded and that the people who are/were looking for her think her and her mom died in the explosion. At least they use to think that. I have a feeling they realized they didn’t die in the explosion and that was probably why she had to leave Colorado.
It’s all the useful information I have. I type it in the search bar and there are a bunch of useless results. I can’t believe how many people die each year in house explosions. How awful.
I search most of the afternoon, only taking a break to eat. It’s close to dinnertime when I’m about to give up. I’m glad I don’t. After searching article after article, I’ve finally found what I was looking for. Her.
Courtney Martin. Malibu, California. Dead at age 16.
I sit there, staring at my screen, hoping I’m wrong. I’m not sure if I want to know more. I can’t decide. On one hand, I want to know everything about her. All I have to do is click the tab at the top of the screen and it will pull up images of Courtney Martin. I will be able to confirm if it’s her.
On the other hand, I want her to be the one to tell me. I want her to want to tell me. I want her to share all her secrets with me. I want to know what happened to her from her perspective. If I read the article I’m only going to get a portion of the truth about what happened. Actually, I may not get any of the truth. Who knows how much they actually wrote that was true.
Before I decide what I want to do, what the right thing to do would be, my fingers are frantically typing and her beautiful face is staring at me. I’ve confirmed my worst fear. She is Courtney Martin.
I can’t help but browse her Facebook page, looking at all the old pictures of her. She hasn’t changed. She’s as beautiful today as she was the first time I laid eyes on her. In fact, she looks more like her old self now that she’s not trying to hide who she is anymore. The fact she’s not hiding scares me a little. It makes me wonder if she’s really safe.
I spend a few more minutes checking out her page. She looks like she was a fun-loving teenager before everything happened to her. She’s starting to be that person again these days. I stop browsing the second I see someone familiar on the screen. Kat is posing for a picture with someone whose name is Taylor. They’re at the beach and both are holding a surfboard. It’s not Taylor who looks familiar to me, though, it’s the person standing down by the water, staring at them with vengeance in their eyes. I know him, I just can’t place him. He looks so familiar…
My phone rings off in the distance breaking my concentration. It’s her ring. I should answer it. If I don’t, she’ll probably think something is wrong. Something is wrong. I don’t want her to know that. I don’t want her to be suspicious.
“Hello,” I say, breathless after running across the room to answer before my phone sent her to voicemail.
“Cam, it’s Greg.”
Shit! Something is wrong.
“What’s up? Where’s… Kat?” I stumble over my words, almost giving away the fact I now know her real name.
“I don’t know.” The way he says it makes my throat tighten. I want to respond, but I can’t find my voice. It’s hard to breathe all of the sudden. “I’m in her dorm room, she’s not here. The place is trashed.”
13.
Courtney
It’s dark when I open my eyes. I look around, but it’s pitch black. I’m lying on what feels like a concrete floor. It smells bad in here, wherever I am. It smells dirty, moldy. How did I get here?
I push myself off the ground. It hurts to move. My head is throbbing. The floor is cold and damp. My clothes are damp. I close my eyes
to try and alleviate the pain, but it doesn’t work. Sitting up is making my head hurt more so I lay back down. I try to keep my eyes open, but I’m tired.
I wake up to the sound of someone walking above me. I try to sit up again, but my head is still throbbing. I rub my temples, but my left temple is wet, sticky. Blood. I’m bleeding. I try to think back to how I got here but I don’t remember. The last thing I remember is talking to Bethany and Brett… Shit! Brett knew about Greg. How did he know? What else does he know?
I push myself to sit up again. My head is still throbbing, but I have to stay awake. There’s someone here with me. I still hear them walking around. Then I hear someone walking down what sounds like stairs and footsteps are getting closer to me. I see a sliver of light coming from across the room, under what has to be a door. I lay back down quickly. The movement makes my head hurt even more. I close my eyes and try to even out my breathing. Hopefully, they will think I’m still sleeping. Maybe they will leave me alone.
I hear the door open and light fills the room. I fight the urge to open my eyes and see exactly where I am. I want to open them. I want to see what I’m up against, who I’m up against. That’s when I hear his voice and my eyes pop open before I can stop myself.
“Wake up bitch!”
Brett’s voice echo’s through the small concrete room. He’s standing behind me, close enough that I can smell the aftershave he uses. I see his shadow blocking the light from the doorway. I don’t move. Maybe he’ll think I’m still out cold. That’s when I see another shadow, a smaller shadow, move in front of the doorway. It has to be Bethany.
I slowly push myself back into a sitting position and avoid looking at him. I don’t need to see his face to know it’s him. I quickly try to take in my surroundings. The walls and floor are concrete. I don’t see a window anywhere. The only light coming into the room is coming from the doorway which is blocked by both of them. There is no way for me to escape, even if I was able to at this point.
The Secrets Duet Page 12