The Secrets Duet

by Brownell, Rachael

  My bed dips and the weight of a large body sits down next to me. A hand brushes hair away from my face and gently caresses my cheek. It has to be Taylor. Who else would be that gentle with me?

  I roll over, leaving my gun hidden under the pillow, and open my eyes. I’m greeted by the most caring set of light blue eyes I’ve ever met. I can’t help but smile at him, my heart picking up the pace a little but not out of fear.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask, sounding drowsy from sleep.

  “I wanted to see you. There’s something I need to tell you and it couldn’t wait until morning.” I tilt my head to the side, unsure if this is going to be a good thing or a bad thing. “I know you’re working for them, Maggie.”

  I push myself to a sitting position and reach under my pillow for my gun, my instincts kicking in. How did he get in here? Is he here to kill me? How did he figure it out? Is this what Montgomery wasn’t telling me?

  “I know you’re freaking out right now,” he says, reaching out for me. I back away, jumping out of bed, gun in hand. I move to point it at him, but I can’t bring myself to do it. “Maggie, I’m not here to kill you. I’m here to explain.”

  “Explain what, Taylor?” I can’t help but be interested in what he has to say, especially since he said he’s not here to kill me. Do I believe him? I want to, but something in my gut tells me no matter what, I’m probably not going to like what he has to say.

  “How I figured it out and how I’m going to fix this for you.” He sounds sincere, but fix what? There is no way to fix this. If he knows I’m working for the Bureau then he has to know the real reason I’m here is to bring him in.

  “I’m listening,” I say, hesitantly, “but you need to know I came here to do a job and you may not like the way this all ends.”

  “It’s not going to end, Maggie. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I don’t want this to end.”

  “I’m confused. If you know why I’m here and who I am then what makes you think this isn’t going to end?” My courage has gone out the window and I’m barely able to whisper the words.

  “Tell me you don’t have feelings for me. If you can tell me that then I will let you take me in right now, but I don’t think you can do that.” He pauses and even though I want to deny it, I can’t bring myself to do it. I look down at the floor in shame instead. “I’m ten feet away from you, you have a gun and you aren’t even scared of me. Your body is craving mine right now. I feel the heat radiating off of you. I smell your arousal. You don’t want this to end either.”

  His words ring true and that’s the one thing which scares me. I’m craving his touch. I want him to kiss me. I can’t help what my body feels and, as much as I want to deny it, I’m not entirely sure I don’t enjoy feeling this way about him. I slowly lift my head and make eye contact with him. I expect his eyes to be dark and stormy, the color of the sky before it begins to pour down rain, but they’re not. They are the clearest blue. At that moment I realize I won’t be able to do this. I won’t be able to follow through on my assignment. My heart has compromised everything. It was the one thing which Montgomery stressed more than anything else when he first approached me. I could never let myself fall for Taylor because I wouldn’t be able to pull myself out of it. He was right.

  “What is your plan then? How are you going to fix this?” I’m anxious to hear his answer. There is no fixing this situation. It is what it is and there is no changing it.

  “I’m leaving. I won’t be at work tomorrow morning and neither will anyone else. I’ve shut down my entire operation. The office is being cleared out as we speak. I’ve sold all my assets. I’m going to vanish.” He stands and walks over to my window, carefully pulling back the curtain. I watch as he scans the area before turning back to me and straightening his back. “I want you to come with me, Maggie. I want you to start over with me.”

  I don’t know how to respond to him. It wasn’t a question and it wasn’t a demand. It was simply a statement of fact. He’s sharing how he feels with me. If I share with him how I feel about him there will be no turning back. It’s a decision which is final. It has to be one or the other because I will never be able to have both. Either I choose Taylor and a life on the run or I choose my job, my current life and the chance I’ll never see him again. I want to choose him. I do. I want to choose him more than anything else in my life, but I’m certain this will not end well. One way or another, my heart will be broken.

  Taylor

  I need for her to say something. Not knowing, wondering what will happen next, is an unknown and unwelcome feeling for me. I’m always in control. Nothing happens without my approval or my direction. Maggie is a wild card in that department. I haven’t felt in complete control since she walked into my life. That should have been my first clue as to who she was.

  I watch as she sets her gun on her dresser and sinks to the floor. I’m not sure if that’s a good sign or a bad one. I have to resist the urge to go to her, wrap my arms around her and pull her on my lap. I want to comfort her. I know this can’t be an easy decision for her to make. She will need to give up her life to be with me. I want that more than anything, but only if she wants it too.

  “How did you figure it out?”

  Her voice is so soft I almost didn’t hear her. Her head is resting on her knees, but her eyes are on me now. She looks lost; her eyes are wet and her cheeks are stained from tears I hadn’t realized she was shedding. I never meant to make her cry, it was the last reaction I thought she would have to all of this.

  “The more I thought about it, the more it all made sense. No one has as clean of a background as you do unless it’s made to look that way. Plus, Jessica has been working for me on the inside and she suspected you that first day. I didn’t want to believe her, to see what she saw, because I honestly didn’t want you to be on their side. I want you on mine.”

  I watch as a single tear trails down her cheek. I take a few tentative steps towards her and once I’m sure she’s not going to resist, I make my way over to where she’s at and take a seat next to her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders. She leans into me and I feel her entire body relax as she exhales loudly.

  “The final clue as to who you are is sitting outside your apartment right now, watching for any signs of me to come by. He’s been there for a while. You would think he would be smarter than to sit right outside your building, in plain sight if he thought I might be driving by.”

  Her back stiffened and she shot up, looking with wide eyes towards the window.

  “Did he see you come inside?” Her voice is shaking from fear for the first time since I arrived.

  “No. I came in the back entrance. Why does that scare you?”

  “If he saw you, if he knows you’re inside here, with me, there is no stopping him from coming in here and arresting you. You have to know that. He’s on a one-man mission to make sure you’re caught and put behind bars.”

  “I know that and I know when you came here it was your mission too. What about now?” I shouldn’t have asked her that. I don’t want to put too much pressure on her. I want her to make this decision for herself, to want to want to be with me. I’m so used to being in control of everyone’s actions. For once, I want to take a step back and see if I can get what I want without forcing people to give it to me.

  Maggie begins pacing the room. Back and forth, from the bed to the window to the bathroom and around again. I’m watching her closely, looking for any sign which might tell me which way this conversation will end. She’s chewing on her bottom lip which tells me she’s thinking hard about something, hopefully about me. That could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on what she’s thinking.

  I stand and move towards her. She’s so lost in thought that she jumps a little when I put my hand on her shoulder. I turn her towards me and pull her into my arms. I wait for her to relax before I speak.

  “Look. I know this is a big decision for you and it’s one which only you can make. I wa
nt you to do what you feel is right, for you. I want you to do what you feel will make you happy. I don’t think you can make your decision with me in his room and I don’t think you can make your decision anytime in the next hour, which is when I need to leave.” I reach into the pocket of my jacket and pull out a small piece of paper. “When you make your decision, you will know where to find me.”

  I pull her back into my arms, knowing I need to leave now. This might be the last time I see her, the last time I feel her body against mine and the last time I’m able to run my hands through her beautiful curls. I give myself a few moments longer than I should before I kiss her softly on the lips and leave her standing in the middle of her room. I hear the first sob escape her lungs as I’m closing the front door of her apartment.

  I quickly make my way down the stairwell and out the back door to my car. I don’t look back as I drive towards home to pack my things. I was hoping she would be able to make her decision right then and there, but I knew deep down she wouldn’t be able to. It’s life altering and for someone like Maggie, it requires time. So, that’s what I’ll give her. She can take as much time as she needs. Either she’ll show up at my door with her luggage and a smile or she’ll show up with the SWAT team. The choice is hers to make. All I can do now is wait.

  10.

  Maggie

  As directed, I left the next morning at the normal time, dressed for work. I hid my gun and credentials in my purse and made my way to the parking garage. When I pulled out, I headed towards work but kept going as soon as the building was in sight. There was nothing left of the office, I was sure of it. With as powerful as Taylor is, I’m surprised the building hadn’t burned to the ground overnight. That would have been the best way to cover his tracks.

  I pull into a run-down diner a few miles from the office and shut my car off. I never saw Montgomery following me and I don’t see him now. If he was outside my building last night, where is he now? I pull out my phone and send him a quick text. As I’m hitting send I feel a set of eyes on me. I act as natural as possible, stepping out of the car and walking into the diner. I opt for a booth near the back and sit facing the front door.

  I wait ten minutes before Montgomery walks in looking angrier than I’ve ever seen him. His face is bright red and he looks like he hasn’t slept for days. He sits down across from me with a thud and runs his hands through his hair, causing it to stand up in places it shouldn’t.

  “Rough morning?” I’m pushing it with him right now, but I don’t care. He pissed me off last night, keeping me in the dark about what was going on and why. Payback is a bitch sometimes.

  “You could say that. He’s gone.”

  Now is the time for me to act surprised to cover my own ass. He can never know I let Taylor walk out last night, that I let him get a head start on us. Most importantly, he can never know that I know where Taylor is.

  “What? How is that possible?”

  “I’m not sure. The entire office is cleared out. I called our contact, but she seems to have gone missing in the last twenty-four hours. No one has heard from her.” His frustration is apparent and I understand it.

  “So, what now? Better yet, why don’t we back up a few days and you tell me why now.” I still have no idea what the rush was or what evidence was found. We can’t arrest someone just because we feel like it. We have to have probable cause.

  “All right. Yesterday morning we noticed some of Taylor’s accounts had been closed. We’ve been tracking all known accounts and watching any movement of large sums which look suspicious. Well, late last night, he started to move money around, close out his accounts or leave minimum balances in some. That was our first clue he was going to be on the move soon.”

  “That makes sense, but that’s just money. What about the business? He can’t just up and leave his entire operation, can he?”

  “Yes and no. We still don’t have answers as to what happens to it or if it will even exist. We’ve been watching the office and early this morning we noticed a large truck being loaded with office furniture. By the time we got inside the building, the entire floor had been cleared out. Nothing was left except a note.” I watch as he reaches into his back pocket and pull out a folded piece of paper. “He left this for me.”

  I take the note and carefully unfold it. It’s Taylor’s stationery and it could be his handwriting, but something feels off about the wording. It doesn’t sound like something Taylor would write at all. When did he leave it?

  “Where did you find it?” This isn’t adding up.

  “It was taped to the outside of your office door.”

  “How do you know it was my office?” None of this is making any sense. Taylor came to see me last night and never mentioned anything. This is something he would have mentioned. Especially after he pointed out that Montgomery was sitting outside my building.

  “Your name was still on the door. It was the only office which still had a name plate on it, all the rest had been removed. I took it as a sign, Becker. He knows you are one of us.”

  I look down and reread the note again and again. This was not written by Taylor. I’m sure of it. It had to have been Scott or Branch, maybe even Jessica. It doesn’t matter at this point. Taylor knowing I work for the FBI isn’t going to change the outcome of this assignment. I made my decision last night and I’m going to stick to it. I’m not giving him up to the Bureau, but I’m not going to allow myself to be with him either. I couldn’t even bring myself to open the piece of paper he gave me. It went directly into the safe, tucked into my personal box of mementos.

  “He’s gone, so it doesn’t matter. What happens next? Where do we go from here?” I’m frustrated and I don’t want to talk about Taylor anymore. I feel like I failed Montgomery and I don’t like this feeling. On top of that, I feel like I failed myself too. I finally found what I’ve been looking for all this time and I’m denying myself the opportunity to have it.

  “Well, you can work from anywhere you like. I’m heading home to my wife. I have a team of people attempting to follow any trails he may have left behind, but so far we’ve found nothing. Now, we start searching for him again and when we find him, we formulate a new plan.”

  “What if we can’t find him again? Do we look for him until we do or is there a point where we give up and move on?” I need to know this. Will there ever come a point where it will be safe for us to be together without having to look over our shoulders to see if someone is following us? If so, then I will go to him and only then.

  “No, not for me anyway. I will look for him until I find him or I die. Whichever comes first. The safety of my family will always be my number one priority. And as long as he’s out there, my wife will never feel safe.”

  I get it, I do. This has always been personal for him. If there were a way to reassure him that Taylor was no longer a threat maybe he would stop looking. Knowing Montgomery the way I do, that would probably increase his persistence to find him.

  We part ways and I head back to my place, alone. I head straight to my room to take a nap, realizing my phone may ring at any second with a lead or a new assignment. I fall face first onto my bed, thoughts of Taylor swimming through my head. I focus on the good memories: the way it felt when his arms were wrapped around me, the way my body always hummed in his presence and the way my body is humming right now just thinking about him. That’s how I fall asleep, with a smile on my face and sadness in my heart.

  The days move slowly, as if time is standing still. The week following Taylor’s disappearance was the longest week of my life. I remember thinking back to the tragic day when I lost my entire family. Things felt like they had moved in slow motion at first and then all of the sudden it was over. Life had jumpstarted again and started to move ahead without me. It was as if things around me had never stopped, life changed in the blink of an eye and I was expected to accept it and move on. Today feels the same as that day did for me. It’s the day I’m expected to move on and get back on track.
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  I pack up the last of my belongings and label the box before taping it shut. All my things are going into storage for now. I have no idea where I’m headed or what I’m going to do, but I know I can’t stay here. My life has to move forward, with or without Taylor in it. Right now, I’m wishing he was a part of it. I’m not regretting my decision as much as I’m rethinking it.

  I quit the Bureau yesterday. Montgomery seemed surprised at first. I think the more I explained my decision to him, the less he actually understood. I all but confessed to him that I fell in love with Taylor and I had a broken heart. In the end, all that matters is my heart isn’t in it anymore. The girl Montgomery found, alone and still devastated by the loss of her family, is no longer who I am. I have grown so much in the last month, growth which should have happened years ago. Joining the Bureau was almost like therapy for me. I finally figured out who I was meant to be. Now it’s time to start being that person.

  I take one look back at my boxed up apartment before closing the door behind me. It looks the same as when I first walked into it. There are boxes with my stuff sitting everywhere, waiting to be unpacked. The only difference is this time, I won’t be unpacking them anytime soon. I have an extended vacation planned and if I come back, it’s not going to be to this apartment.

  I pull my suitcase out into the hall and glance up at the cameras. I doubt that he can see me, or that he’s watching for that matter, but I put my hand over my heart just in case and wink at the camera. I wish I had the strength to unfold the piece of paper he gave me that night, but I don’t yet. Maybe one day I will. Until then, I have a date with a foreign country, many of them actually, and this time, I’m actually going to see the sights.