Silent Night

  Anna frowned at me. No, but I thought you’d want the opportunity to do a little digging.

  Actually no, I don’t. I want them to find Leon and for all of this to be over. I sat back on the sofa and closed my eyes, and stayed there for about ten minutes. She didn’t bring it up again.

  We’d agreed to postpone our trip to the Christmas market until things were a little less stressful, so when Max texted on Saturday morning and asked if I wanted to go out I jumped at the offer.

  Where are we going? I asked as I climbed in his car.

  He turned to look at me, and bit his lip as if he was thinking about something.

  You might not agree to this, he began, but I’ve had an idea.

  I waited for him to continue, unsure of what he was going to suggest.

  The park at Normanby Hall is open to the public again, he continued. Do you want to go up there for a walk? It hasn’t snowed for a couple of days now, so the paths will be clear.

  Oh. I really don’t know about that, I replied, my stomach churning slightly at the thought of going back there. It had been creepy walking around the park with Singh the other day, and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to think of the place in the same way.

  I know you’ll probably say no, because of what happened. I mean, you found a body, I know it’s awful, but I thought it would be nice to go and make another positive memory, to try and balance out the negative. Remember that picnic, in the summer? We had such a lovely day. That’s what I want you to remember about Normanby Hall. Do you see what I mean?

  I couldn’t help but smile at him. I do see what you mean, yes. It’s very sweet. I reached over and squeezed his hand. Okay, let’s go. But then you’re buying me lunch after.

  He gave me a grin and started the car. As he drove I tried not to think about the case, but every time I forced my mind onto other topics it kept drifting back there again.

  The car park was busier than I had expected, given that it was still bitterly cold with some snow on the ground, but we found a space and layered up with hats and coats. I deliberately guided Max away from the house and towards the opposite end of the park, steering clear of the cabins and where we had found Steve’s body. I was happy enough to test his theory about making positive memories, but I didn’t want to push it too far.

  I slipped my hand into his and enjoyed the warmth of his skin on mine. He gripped my hand, not too tightly, but just enough for me to know I was safe with him. We walked like this for a few minutes, along a little path through the woods and round towards the pond, which was half-frozen. Stopping, he pulled me closer and kissed me.

  Pulling away a few seconds later, he laid a hand on my cheek. How am I doing? Got some positive feelings yet?

  I giggled – I couldn’t help it – and kissed him again. We carried on walking, following a circular route, and soon the mansion house loomed ahead of us.

  Maybe we could go round to the deer park? I suggested. Sometimes you can see them feeding the deer in the run-up to Christmas.

  Max agreed and we set off that way, but then I paused. A familiar figure was walking in our direction: Sasha Thomas.

  Hi, I signed to her, waving to attract her attention. She’d been lost in her own thoughts, staring at the ground as she walked, and seemed taken aback when I stopped her.

  Paige? What are you doing here?

  I introduced her to Max and explained his theory about doing something positive. She nodded then looked back in the direction she’d come from.

  I wasn’t doing that, unfortunately, she told me. I can’t stop thinking about Leon, and Steve.

  Glancing at Max, I hoped he would take the hint and leave me to talk to Sasha for a minute. He understood and made an excuse about going to look at the house, leaving us alone on the path.

  Do you want a coffee? I suggested, pointing towards the cafe.

  She looked reluctant, but eventually nodded. It wasn’t until we were sitting opposite each other, warming our hands on hot mugs, that she even looked at me.

  I’m worried about the residential kids, she blurted out. I don’t know why I came back here, what I thought it would achieve, but it was better than doing nothing.

  What are you worried about? I asked her.

  I think there’s something going on. They’re too close to each other, if that’s possible. I could feel her leg jiggling nervously against the table leg. We’ve had a few incidents and they’ve all completely closed ranks, so we’ve not been able to find out what happened and who was involved.

  What sort of incidents? I asked, thinking about Bradley and Courtney and the videotape.

  She bit her lip. I can’t tell you. They’re children in care, and I’m their social worker, so some things have to be kept confidential. But I know something at that school isn’t right.

  Since Leon ran away, you mean?

  No, she said, looking out of the window next to her. I’ve been worried about it for a while. Have you ever known anyone who’s been in a relationship with someone really manipulative? They’re besotted with this person, but you know they’ve actually been completely brainwashed, and they’re just not interested in themselves any more?

  I looked down at my drink. I’d never had a friend in that situation; I’d never seen it from the outside.

  I know what you mean, I replied, not trusting myself to say anything more.

  Well they’re like that, Sasha continued. As if there’s someone telling them what to do. I think one of the kids has managed to get the others wrapped round their little finger.

  Which one? I tried to keep my eagerness at bay as I asked the question, but I felt like Sasha knew something which she was keeping to herself.

  She threw her arms up. That’s what’s so bloody frustrating, I can’t figure it out. Cassie is the oldest, but I don’t think she’s bright enough to do something like that. Courtney isn’t interested enough in the others. Kian’s the youngest, he doesn’t have enough influence, and Bradley wouldn’t be able to keep something like that a secret.

  I thought about what she’d said. So, you think it was Leon? You think he was controlling the others somehow?

  I don’t know, she said, pushing her chair back and drumming her fingers on the edge of the table. He’s bright, he certainly could pull something off like that. I don’t know why he’d do it though, unless he got a kick out of manipulating the others. I’ve always thought he was likeable, but maybe he’s been able to manipulate me too? Sasha ran her hands through her hair and leant forward again. This is ridiculous. This is the first time I’ve told anyone about it, and it sounds completely crazy when I try to explain myself.

  I gave her an apologetic smile. I don’t know the kids or the school well enough to know what you mean. How long has this been going on?

  Since September, I think, she replied. Well, that was when I first thought something was wrong, when I went to visit them at the start of the school year. It’s always a strange time of year for kids in care – they don’t have a family to go to over the summer, so the adults who care for them in those six weeks sacrifice the time with their own families in order to give them some positive experiences.

  September was when Steve took up the post as head teacher. Was his arrival connected to the students’ strange behaviour?

  Were all five of them there for the whole summer? I asked, my heart aching for these kids who had nowhere else to go. They don’t have any other extended family they can go to?

  Sasha shook her head. Not this year. Courtney used to go to her grandparents for some of the holidays, but there was a falling-out a couple of years ago and they stopped inviting her. The others have nobody.

  My heart ached for these kids, growing up without the love of a family, however well they were cared for.

  Could something have happened over the holidays? I asked.

  This is what I’m wondering. I asked them all, but they all insisted it was nothing. Except for Leon, who told me I was asking the wrong questions. Nothing e
lse, just that. She shook her head. I’m wondering if he was manipulating me.

  Or he wanted to tell you, but someone else was holding something over him? I gently suggested.

  She took a deep breath and I saw her shoulders sag. You’re right. When he’s not here to defend himself, I shouldn’t be assuming it’s anything to do with him.

  I didn’t understand what she thought she’d achieve by coming back to the crime scene, but maybe she didn’t know what else to do to try and make sense of it all. It seemed like having someone to talk to had helped, though.

  Have you told anyone at the school about this? I asked as we finished our drinks and prepared to leave.

  No. Until I have concrete evidence that something’s going on, I can’t do anything about it, she insisted. I could be completely wrong, and it could be that the dynamic between these five kids is completely normal for a children’s home situation. They’ve all been through some difficult times in their lives, and they all bear the emotional scars.

  The question we need to ask is, where could Leon be? I said. If you think he could be manipulating the other students, is it connected to Steve’s murder? Or is this situation with Steve posing as Joe something completely different?

  I don’t know what’s connected any more, she replied. It’s possible Leon was up to something unpleasant, but that doesn’t detract from what Steve did. But could the kids be hiding something that would help us find Leon?

  I thought about that for a while, and my mind kept coming back to the times I’d seen the kids discussing Joe. I was still sure there was more they hadn’t told the police, but how could we get them to talk? We walked back towards the house, where Max was waiting for us, and I wondered if Sasha was right about this. In which case, if one of the residential kids had some information about where Leon was and hadn’t shared it with the police, was it because they were looking for a way to use it to their own advantage?

  Chapter 26

  When Anna and I had cancelled our trip, I arranged a spontaneous night out with my best friend, Gem. I’d invited Anna out with us, but she said she felt like a gate-crasher. While she was living with me, she said she was going to make an effort to see her own friends, and didn’t want to feel like she was muscling in on mine. She would have been welcome, all of my friends knew Anna pretty well, but she declined the invitation anyway. On another night I would have tried harder to persuade her, but I liked the idea of spending a night without anyone who knew anything about the case. I knew if anything could take my mind off the last week it was a few cocktails and some dancing. We were meeting in a bar on Oswald Road and I took my time getting my outfit and make-up just right. Ever since I’d met Max I’d started to take a bit more pleasure in getting dressed up again, even when I wasn’t seeing him. He’d certainly helped me get some of my old confidence back, telling me how thinking about me always made him smile.

  When I arrived, Gem was already there, and there was a pornstar martini on the table waiting for me. I preferred a bellini, but I wasn’t about to say no when someone else had already got the round in.

  Hi, I waved to her as I arrived. Gem and I had been friends since we were children – she was the only deaf person in her family, and I was the only hearing one in mine, and opposites seemed to attract. We were inseparable as kids, and we had supported each other through some of the worst times in adulthood as well.

  We drank and chatted for a couple of hours before we had enough cocktails inside us for Gem to suggest we dance. I’m as coordinated as a newborn giraffe, but I joined her for a couple of tunes anyway. It felt good to shake off my cares for a few hours and not worry about clients or the police or how my sister was getting on.

  After about fifteen minutes of dancing, I wound my way over to the bar for a glass of water. I was hot and sweaty, unaccustomed to this sort of environment. I downed the water then turned to see Gem standing behind me with her hands on her hips.

  Water? Lightweight, she teased. Come on, more cocktails.

  She didn’t listen to my protests and gave me her order, pushing me forwards to the bar. Once I’d been served I saw she’d found a table and claimed it, so I wove through the crowd to join her.

  It’s good to see you out enjoying yourself, she said with a grin. Was Max okay with you coming out?

  I raised an eyebrow at her. Still checking up on me?

  You know I always will.

  I sighed. Yes, and I didn’t ask his permission, I told him I was coming out with you tonight so I could see him another night. And he was perfectly fine with that. He’s probably out with his own friends tonight.

  She squeezed my hand briefly. Sorry for nagging, but after Mike I worry about you. A few days before you met Max you were insisting you had no interest in a relationship, and then suddenly you were dating some bloke you met during a murder investigation. You can’t blame me for keeping an eye on you and how you’re doing.

  I understand, Gem, of course I do. And what sort of friend would you be if you didn’t do things like that? God knows where I’d be if you hadn’t seen Mike for what he really was. I might still be in that same situation. I’ll always be grateful for the way you cleared the flat before I got out of hospital, and for the support you gave me to put the pieces of myself back together afterwards.

  She shook her head. No, you wouldn’t still be there. You would have realised eventually, without us constantly pushing you to get out.

  I nodded, deep in thought.

  What? she asked.

  I’ve seen him again recently. Mike.

  What? He’s got back in touch?

  No, I’m working with the police again, and … I paused, wondering how much I should say. He’s connected.

  He’s a murder suspect? Doesn’t surprise me, she signed, her mouth a grim line.

  That’s not what I said, I admonished her. Forget about the circumstances. The important thing is that I’ve been forced to speak to him and spend time in the same room as him, and I’m worried I’ve not got over the whole thing as fully as I thought I had.

  Gem frowned. You don’t mean you’re still attracted to him?

  What? Oh God no, I reassured her. No, I meant that I don’t feel as confident around him as I want to be. I’m angry at myself for not being able to put up these mental barriers against him.

  Nobody ever expected you to be superhuman, Paige, Gem reassured me. What you went through with him was horrible; nobody would be able to put all of that completely behind them. You know you could probably talk to Singh about pressing charges now?

  I shook my head. I don’t want to dredge it all up again. Besides, he’s actually apologised.

  Seriously?

  I nodded. It surprised me too. It doesn’t change anything that happened, but it does feel better to have him acknowledge what he did to me.

  I suppose. Don’t get sucked in by him though, she warned.

  I won’t, I told her. There’s something else, though.

  What?

  I haven’t told Max about Mike.

  Why not?

  I thought for a moment before answering, looking round at the people dancing and drinking, enjoying their night out.

  I think because I didn’t want his pity. I didn’t want him to think I was weak. And I didn’t want him worrying about his own behaviour, trying to go out of his way not to be like my ex, if you see what I mean? Max isn’t anything like Mike, and I know that because he’s being himself in our relationship. I don’t want him to change how he behaves because of how he thinks I might react.

  But what happens when he finds out? Gem asked. Because he will find out, sooner or later. Someone will say something to him, or to you when he’s there, and eventually the story will come out. The longer you keep it from him, the more hurt he’s going to be when he finds out just how much you haven’t told him.

  Passing my empty glass from hand to hand, I thought about Gem’s warning. I felt like I’d be risking everything I’d built up with Max by telling him abou
t my past, but she was right. He deserved to know what I’d been through. He’d asked a couple of times about the scar on my arm, and all I’d told him was that I’d cut it on some broken glass. I think he’d known by my face that I didn’t want to tell him any more than that, but he was probably still curious. And now that Mike had apologised and more or less admitted he was at fault, hopefully Max wouldn’t be as angry about it. But had Mike really taken responsibility for the way he treated me? A little voice in the back of my mind was still questioning the motive behind the apology, but I silenced it.

  Okay, I’ll tell him. I promise, I added, looking at the sceptical expression on her face. But how on earth do I bring it into conversation?

  Just sit him down, and say to him, I saw my ex-boyfriend today. He’s an absolute piece of shit and I need to tell you exactly why.

  I laughed wryly. Yeah, that just about covers it.

  Seriously though, are you okay with having to spend time with Mike?

  I nodded. He wants to show me he’s changed. I don’t really believe it, but I think I should give him the benefit of the doubt.

  People don’t change, Paige. They want you to think they do, but deep down they don’t. If Mike’s still trying to manipulate you, I worry what he’d do to you if he got you alone.

  I brushed off her concerns. He wouldn’t be that stupid. Even though I didn’t press charges back then, I wouldn’t hesitate if he did something to me now.

  Does DS Singh think it’s appropriate that you’re around him?

  What has Singh got to do with it?

  She laughed. Come on Paige, you know he likes you. Anna told me all about it.

  I felt a blush slowly rising up my face. I think she’s wildly inflated it. He’s a nice bloke, and we get on well in a professional capacity, but that’s it.

  Fine, fine. Gem held up her hands in defeat. Still, I think you should tell him about your past with Mike, cover your back in a professional sense if nothing else.

  You’ve got a point, I replied. He knows the basics, but nothing about what really went on. Though I think he’s guessed it wasn’t exactly a positive experience.