THE GIFT OF A CHILD

by Sue MacKay

  We are? She wasn’t so sure, though she was still struggling with Max being a part of this. In the meantime she’d back Mitch even if he was definitely against his brother doing the transplant if at all possible. Presumably they had time to think it all through, that a kidney wouldn’t become available in the next day or two. ‘Yes, that’s right.’

  Mum said nothing, just rolled her shoulders and looked away, lost in her own thoughts.

  Mitch squeezed Jodi’s shoulder. ‘I’ve checked you out of here as from whenever you’re ready to go. You’ve got all afternoon if you need it.’

  ‘Jamie will sleep for a couple of hours, then there’s nothing else to keep us here.’ From under his arm she turned to look at him. ‘Don’t you need to go to work? That TV crew could be having a wonderful time without you there to restrain them.’ It was one thing for him to accompany them to see Lucas but quite another to hang around all morning with her.

  ‘Aaron will be more of a ball and chain with them than I’d ever be.’ With one finger he lifted her hair out of her eyes. The steady blue gaze he fixed on her sent electricity zipping along her veins, reminding her of how well they’d played together. Unfortunately his voice was solemn, reminding her how out of kilter they were now. ‘But I do have to put in an appearance. I can’t ask Aaron to work my whole shift and then do his tonight.’

  Plastering on a smile, Jodi gave him the answer he would want. ‘Then go. We’ve only got three bags. I can get us packed and moved to your place easy as.’ And she needed space to sort through these weird feelings ambushing her every time Mitch touched her.

  Not to mention how, as much as she wanted Mitch in on everything to do with Jamie’s treatment, she was so used to going it alone that it felt a little stifling having him just hanging around now that they were back at the motel.

  ‘There’s a GPS in my vehicle.’

  ‘Handy.’ If she knew how to use one. ‘Can you warn Claire she’s going to be overrun with Hawkes?’

  ‘Done already. She’s making beds as we speak.’ Mitch didn’t move, didn’t shift that penetrating gaze.

  What did he see? She’d changed in the time they’d been apart. Having a sick child did that. Blast it, she didn’t even take care of her appearance anymore. Her smile deepened. She’d set a new fashion trend—grunge. Oh, but that had already been done; she was just running behind the times.

  Mitch leaned forward and placed the lightest of light kisses on her cheek. So gentle that it brought tears to her eyes. That kiss spoke of affection, care and support. It told her she still held a place in his heart, even if only that of the mother of his son.

  And then it hit her. Pine with a hint of spice. His aftershave. The one she used to buy him. He hadn’t been wearing it over the weekend—she’d definitely have noticed. But now he was. So there was more to his kiss than affection. But just how much more? What was he telling her? She was afraid to find out. Didn’t want to go there. To break her heart over him once had been bad enough; to do it again would be stupid. And she was a lot of things, but stupid wasn’t one of them.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  MITCH PAID THE taxi driver and shoved open the door. Home at last. The television crew had trailed after him all afternoon and right into the evening. Their endless questions had at times annoyed him but in the interests of getting a real and true picture of how an emergency department worked he’d sucked it up and done his best to be helpful.

  All the while wanting to go home and check out Jamie. To make sure that temperature had gone down. Check Jodi was okay after their eventful morning.

  His legs dragged with weariness as he headed up the path, but his heart lifted at the welcoming scene. Lights were on behind the drawn curtains, the light on over the front door. The first time that had happened since he’d moved in last year.

  The large bag with the toyshop logo swung back and forth from his fingers. He’d snatched a quick break and gone out to the toyshop next to the hospital, strategically placed for softies like him.

  Humming tunelessly, Mitch pushed the door open. Swallowed hard as the words, ‘Hi, honey, I’m home’ nearly spilled off his tongue. Repeating something that had amused her three years ago would only make her think he was deliberately trying to use the past to win her over. Which he was—kind of. Cramming his size-ten foot into his mouth to shut him up might be a better option. Jodi would probably brain him with a pan if those words reached her pretty ears.

  Another memory assailed him. Where were the earrings? He hadn’t seen Jodi wearing any since she’d appeared in his office on Saturday. She was queen of earrings and bracelets. Not a bracelet in sight either. The woman had jewellery boxes full of them. Surely she still did? Had they gone into storage along with all those swanky clothes she loved to wear? Maybe she’d given them to the op shop. But why? The woman he knew couldn’t have changed that much. Had she? Nah, he kept seeing hints of the old Jodi. Surely beneath that worry and fear for her boy lay the happy, jokey Jodi who loved to dance and tease.

  ‘Hey there, you obviously got busy.’ Jodi didn’t add considering it’s after nine, but he heard the words anyway and bit down on a retort. They hadn’t moved along that far in their relationship. Yet. If ever. That kiss at the park hadn’t changed a thing.

  Yeah, it had. He’d rediscovered his Jodi, remember? Yeah. That had something going for it.

  Striding towards the kitchen where she stood in the doorway, he told her, ‘It wasn’t horrendously busy with patients but the TV crew made up for that. Then I told Aaron to stay away until nine to make up for filling in for me this morning.’

  Her cheeks reddened deliciously. ‘Oops. I spoke without thinking.’

  ‘An old habit?’ he snipped. Then, ‘Sorry. Uncalled for. It’s odd finding people in my house at the end of a day at work.’ He looked around. ‘I take it Jamie’s asleep?’ He put down the bag he held, ignoring a flare of disappointment. Of course the lad would be in bed at this hour.

  ‘Out for the count despite his excitement about staying in Mitch’s house.’ Her smile was shy. The lookalike Jodi had returned. The old Jodi had never done shy.

  Sniffing the air appreciatively, he said, ‘Something smells wonderful.’ How easy it would be to get used to this. Even if it meant coming home earlier? ‘Never thought to tell you I hardly ever eat here and that the cupboards were bare.’

  Jodi stepped backwards into the kitchen, a gorgeous smile lightening up her face. ‘All taken care of. Mum went shopping, and I put together a lasagne and salad. Hope that’s okay?’

  ‘Okay? You have no idea.’ Anything edible would be okay. Lasagne and salad made his mouth water. ‘Have you eaten?’

  ‘Thought I’d wait for you. Mum had hers and has taken herself off to her room to start reading her financial reports.’

  Unless Alison was a ditz she must’ve made a fortune over the years with all the financial shuffling she’d done, and she was no ditz. Yet there was no sign of wealth. That motel and the rental car he’d dropped off on the way to work indicated a distinct lack of funds. Puzzling, but not important. What was important was spending the rest of the evening with Jodi. ‘Do you want a glass of wine before we eat? That is one thing I do have plenty of.’

  ‘I opened a bottle of Cabernet Merlot to breathe. Hope you don’t mind?’ Jodi handed him the bottle and held out two glasses to be filled.

  ‘You certainly knew which one to pick.’ He grinned at the top choice she’d made.

  ‘That’s quite a collection in your cellar. Since when did you become a wine buff?’

  ‘I’ve always enjoyed a good wine, but until I came to Auckland I’d never really done much about it. Besides, med students drink beer. These days, when I take a weekend off, I like to get out of town and away from the possibility of being called into work, so I’ve started visiting the North Island wine-growing regions. Funny how those bottles seem to find their way into my car with no trouble at all.’

  ‘Right. You open the door and shoo them in. I can
see it now.’ Laughter tinkled in the kitchen air.

  Mitch felt his eyes widening as he realised that was the first time he’d heard Jodi laugh these past days. ‘You should do that more often.’

  ‘Do what?’

  ‘Laugh.’ He took a gulp of wine. ‘You used to always be laughing about something.’ And when her face dropped he hastily added, ‘I know you haven’t had a lot to laugh about. Believe me, I get it. But hearing that just then brought back some wonderful memories.’ Another swallow of wine. ‘We weren’t all bad together. There were plenty of fun times too.’ Mostly in the sack. Because there hadn’t been time for much else. What an idiot. He’d gone and made things worse, just when they’d started getting along a wee bit better.

  Any minute now she’d throw her wine in his face, tell him he was a selfish pig and that she was moving back to that rank motel. He waited and watched.

  Jodi blinked. Stared at him. Then her mouth lifted into a wide, beautiful smile. That gut-wrenching smile all his dreams and memories were made of. ‘Thank you for reminding me. Sometimes all I’ve been able to think about is the wrong memories.’ The colour heightened delightfully in her cheeks, over her throat. The tip of her tongue grazed her lips. ‘I’ve been having some memories of my own since yesterday.’

  Since he’d kissed her? ‘Really?’

  ‘Some of the good ones.’ The heat in her eyes scorched him, told him exactly which good times she recollected.

  Memories skittered across his skin bringing back exquisite sensations of his body sliding over hers, his hands recalled touching the dip of her waist and that soft place on her inner thighs, and cupping those curvy buttocks. His tongue knew the taste of her. Below his belt his maleness definitely remembered the very centre of her femininity. It sprang up, hard and hopeful. ‘Down boy,’ he growled under his breath. Wrong place. Wrong time. Bad, bad—good.

  He lifted one foot to close the gap between them. Panic flared in those coffee-au-lait eyes. Her sweet mouth flattened. A slight jerk of her head negated his move. His shoe slapped on the tile floor. Bad, bad, bad.

  Spinning around, Jodi was suddenly very busy serving up dinner. The dinner he no longer wanted. But what he wanted he couldn’t have. Not now. Not ever.

  *

  Over lunch in his office the next day Mitch spent a lot of time answering the TV documentary director’s questions methodically, keeping the medical content to a minimum without actually dumbing everything down too much. Now he needed to do some real work. He pushed his empty coffee cup aside. ‘If that’s all for the moment?’

  Carl stood up, smiling good-naturedly. ‘Sure. I know you’re busy and I’m a pain in the butt.’

  Mitch grinned back. ‘We understand each other. So how do you think your documentary is working out? Are you getting some good footage of the patients and what we deal with?’

  ‘Absolutely. Your staff have been extremely accommodating to my crews.’

  ‘Right down to getting their hair done and wearing more make-up in a couple of days than any of them normally use in a year.’

  Carl chuckled. ‘I’m used to that. The moment the word “camera” is uttered, out comes the lipstick and hairbrush.’ His face grew more serious. ‘We’re getting good footage but what I want now is a human-interest story that can run through the whole doco, tie it all together.’

  Mitch winced. They’d discussed this prior to the crews starting in the department and he wasn’t so sure that he liked the idea. ‘Have you given consideration to how patients might come to regret it if they say yes while they’re dealing with pain and serious injuries?’

  ‘They’d have the opportunity to change their minds later. Whether that person is the patient or the patient’s parent or caregiver,’ Carl reminded him.

  ‘So you don’t think any of the patients you’ve filmed so far suit your criteria?’

  ‘Mitch.’ Samantha flew in the door. ‘Mitch, you’ve got to come now. The ambulance has brought in a little boy with acute renal failure.’

  Mitch’s heart stopped. ‘Do we have a name for this child?’ The question squeezed through his clenched teeth.

  ‘Jamie Hawke.’ Samantha’s eyes were huge in her face, and there was a hint of something awfully like excitement as she added, ‘Jamie Maitland Hawke.’

  Mitch’s chair flew backwards. Snatching up his phone, he scanned the messages as he raced for the cubicles. Nothing. Jodi hadn’t phoned or texted. Why not? If he was picking up the reins of fatherhood then she had to include him in everything happening to Jamie. ‘Where is he?’ he demanded.

  ‘Cubicle four.’ Samantha ran alongside him. ‘Is Jamie a relation of yours?’

  ‘Yes.’ More information than she needed to know.

  ‘I’ll tell the cameraman to head your way.’ Carl was with him too.

  ‘No. You. Won’t.’ He snarled. ‘Stay away from this patient.’

  ‘I didn’t think Max had any kids.’ Samantha had skin thicker than a rhinoceros’s.

  ‘He doesn’t.’ Oh, hell. Mitch cursed under his gasping breath. Now the whole department, no, the whole hospital would know he had a son by dinnertime. Not that he wanted to hide the fact, but he wasn’t ready to share any of Jamie’s story with everybody.

  At cubicle four he jerked the curtain open and strode in. And stopped. Jamie was attached to more cables and tubes than a cat had lives. ‘Jamie.’ His gut clenched, threatened to throw his lunch back at him. Closing his eyes, he willed his belly to behave.

  ‘Mitch?’ Jodi’s hand gripped his. ‘We need Lucas here now. I told the nurse that but he insisted we wait until you arrived.’

  Mitch blinked, stared down into the terrified face of his boy’s mother. ‘I’ll call him. Don’t you worry about that. Where is the PRF?’ He snapped his fingers at Chas.

  The head nurse on day shift pressed the patient report form from the ambulance into his hand. ‘Severe vomiting and bloody stools. High temperature.’ Chas continued talking, filling in all the details he’d gleaned from the ambulance crew.

  Mitch was grateful to him. There was no way he could see the obs on the page in front of him for the tears blurring his eyes. As he listened he stepped up to the bed, ran a finger lightly down Jamie’s arm, careful to avoid all the gear attached to him. ‘Hey, sport,’ he whispered around the lump cutting off the air to his lungs.

  Chas finished the report and told Samantha, ‘Get the phone and the phone number list for Mitch.’

  Jodi muttered, ‘Thanks, Chas.’ Then her fingers squeezed Mitch’s hand again. He could feel her fear through her grip. ‘It happened so fast. He was a bit grizzly and his temperature had crept up some more so I put him down for a nap. When I went in to check up on him he was vomiting. I called the ambulance to save time. The way I was panicking I’d have got lost for sure.’

  ‘We’ll get Lucas down here ASAP.’ He wrapped an arm around her shaking shoulders, drew her close. ‘Where’s that damned phone?’ he yelled through the gap in the curtains. Carl stood to one side observing everything, his cameraman filming from an unobtrusive distance. Doing exactly what he’d been asked to do when any urgent cases presented. ‘Not this patient, Carl.’ And when Carl made to reply he held a hand up. ‘Not open to negotiation.’ His son was not going to make headlines on national television.

  Then Samantha handed him the phone, her demeanour now serious and concerned. Had one of the nurses put her in her place? ‘Extension 324 for Mr Harrington.’

  Punching in the numbers, Mitch watched over his son, despair gnawing at him. The little lad hadn’t moved in the minutes he’d been with him. At least he couldn’t see the pain and fright behind those fragile eyelids. But he knew it was there. He’d give anything to make it all go away for Jamie.

  Even your kidney?

  Even my kidney.

  Wouldn’t Carl love that story for his show?

  Mitch shuddered. He could see the show headlines already. ‘Carl, go away.’

  *

  ‘How’s Jami
e doing?’ Mitch’s hand cupped Jodi’s shoulder, his fingers firm yet calming, strong yet tender.

  She hadn’t heard him enter the room but, then, she hadn’t heard all the hospital noises going on around her either. Jamie was her only concern, her only focus. Jodi leaned her head sideways so her cheek touched his fingers, gathering strength from him. ‘Lucas just called by and gave him a top-up of antibiotics and a whole heap of other things.’

  ‘I passed him on my way here. He’s going to talk to Max, who’s rescheduling our appointment with the transplant team.’ Mitch squeezed her shoulder and dropped a kiss on her head.

  That felt so right—as though they were on the same page. ‘Everyone’s being awesome.’

  ‘We figured you’ve had enough drama for one day, and another twenty-four hours isn’t going to bring the transplant surgery any closer.’

  ‘I guess you’re right, though I’d feel a little bit better knowing we had everything under way.’ Her bottom lip trembled when she looked at him. ‘But you’re right. Tomorrow will do fine.’

  ‘It’s going to mean more tests, another round of poking and prodding for the little guy.’ His voice was so sad, hurting even.

  Jodi reached up, laid her hand over his. She didn’t feel any better. In fact, she felt like crap. ‘I’m glad you’re here for him. Sorry to dump you in at the deep end, though. If it helps, I wish I could turn back the clock to when I learned I was pregnant. You’d be the first to know.’ Her sigh was sad. ‘But I guess that doesn’t make you any less angry at me.’

  Mitch lifted her chin with his finger. ‘Anger hasn’t come into it. Disappointment, yes. And sadness. But there’s also guilt. If I’d come knocking on your door and explained a few things, we might’ve worked something out so that you’d have trusted me to be a good dad. Even if we hadn’t got back together.’

  His tone was so sad she had to wonder if that’s what he might’ve wanted after all. Them together, permanently. No way. Mitch was always too busy, too tied up in his own world to make that work. Or was she being unfair? Using that to justify her own actions? Ironic when now she’d change everything if she had the chance. ‘Only one way to go now. Forward.’