Four
The following Monday, Nina and I met for lunch. I’d tried hard, and failed, all weekend to avoid thinking of Evan or Justin—or how right it felt being pressed between the two of them again. Nina, as usual, wasn’t helping matters. Right after our beverages were served, she dived in.
“So, you talk to your guys yet?” she asked innocently.
I rolled my eyes. “No, I haven’t. And they’re not my guys.”
She gave me a sly smile. “Sure seemed like it when you were going at it with both of them at once.”
“Anyway,” I said, not even attempting to be subtle by changing the subject, “work has been great today, so far. Guess what they did for me?”
I was an account manager at the largest full-service creative agency in the region, Innovative Images. It wasn’t a glamorous gig, but now that I’d wowed my superiors with my stint in London, it seemed as though I was getting a bit more respect at work, in general.
“That was so hot,” Nina said, leaning in and dropping her voice. “I just walk in and there you were”—she placed her index finger near her thumb—“this close to getting it in both holes again.”
I continued as if I hadn’t been interrupted. “A little surprise party for yours truly. Yep, right there in the break room. Even had a big banner that said, ‘Welcome back, Stacy.’ ”
“So how was it?”
“It was nice. My boss was there. Cassie and Julia, the creative director and the art director, were there too.” I frowned. “I’ve talked about them, right?”
Nina laughed. “That’s not what I was asking about and you know it.”
Yeah, I’d had a feeling. I picked up my glass of tea as I feigned confusion. “No?”
“Come on—spill. You haven’t said a word about Evan or Justin since that night. I’m going crazy.”
“That’s because you’re so damn nosy,” I said, smiling.
“Not nosy, just curious.”
“Whatever. Besides, I haven’t said a word about them because I don’t want to. I don’t even want to think about them.”
“How’s that working out?”
I groaned. “Not well.”
“Then what are you waiting for? Go get your men.”
“They’re not my—” I held up a hand. “Forget it. Look, I go after them and say what? ‘Neither of you is an option for me in the long run, but in the meantime would y’all care to date me at the same time?’ That should go over well.”
Nina furrowed her brow. “Why wouldn’t it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, if you’re right, then all they ever wanted you for was sex anyway.”
Yeah, and Justin had made that painfully clear with his little smart-ass remark about how he and Evan liked to share things. My body just happened to be another one of those things.
“If that’s true,” Nina continued, “then why not go for it? It’s obvious you’re still lusting over them so it’s not as if the feeling isn’t mutual.”
I dropped my gaze to the table. My old reason had been the fact that I wanted to get married and have a family. More and more, those desires had taken a backseat to thoughts of Evan and Justin. That night in the bar only worsened it. I could barely make sense of what I wanted because my mind was already occupied. “It—it just wouldn’t be smart.”
“Right. Because the alternative is brilliant. Sit around, pine away for them, and all the while make plans to be in a boring, loveless relationship with Nathan.” She widened her eyes and gasped. “That sounds awesome.”
I couldn’t help but smile even though I didn’t feel like doing much of it lately. “Sarcasm duly noted, brat.” Simply being back home had been enough to put me on edge. Just knowing they were nearby gave me butterflies.
Actually seeing them and finding out they were, apparently, willing to pick up where we’d left off was a temptation too strong to resist. Dangerous, though. Extremely dangerous. I hadn’t known it at the time—or maybe I had and just refused to acknowledge it—but I’d started falling in love with each of them. Leaving the country had only forced me to dig myself out of denial. The intensity with which I’d missed them went far beyond the platonic.
Starting up with them again, accepting how I felt about them, would be asking for trouble. Screw asking, it would be begging. And what about my goals, my life plan? Marriage, a family… suddenly, none of it seemed as urgent as I’d thought only half a year ago. Honestly, that fact scared me more than anything.
“Well?” Nina prodded when I’d remained quiet too long for her tastes.
Oh, hell. I wasn’t kidding anyone but myself. Why not own up to my feelings? I sighed. “I still want to be with them; I never stopped.”
“Finally, you admit it.” She sat back with a smug look. “That’s step one.”
I braced myself. “What’s step two?”
She lifted a shoulder. “Doing something about it.”
“I was afraid you’d say that.”
Nina laughed. “You’re such a wuss. What happened to the new Stacy? You know, the empowered one who started things with Evan and Justin in the first place?”
I considered that a while before grudgingly admitting she was right. I was slipping back into meek territory all because I was scared. My fears were justified, however. “What if I end up falling in love with them?” I asked softly.
“Like that hasn’t happened already.”
Fine. “Okay, but what if—What if…”
Nina raised her eyebrows as she waited for me to finish.
I leaned back in my chair. “I got nothing.”
She smiled. “That’s what I thought. So, you’re going after your men, right?”
I nodded, deciding to bring new Stacy back into full force. “I’m going after my men.” And as soon as I figured out the best way of going about that, I would.
* * *
After work, I made a beeline for Evan’s new bar, hoping I’d find him and Justin there. No such luck. The yet-to-be-named bar was closed, the door locked. Feeling determined and confident, thanks to new Stacy’s reappearance, I just decided to come back later. I’d come back every damn day until I found them. On my way home, I took an impulsive detour. Justin’s auto shop wasn’t far; I’d just see if he was around. I didn’t plan to bring up my suggestion of seeing both him and Evan right away, though. No, that was something I only wanted to go through once. I just needed him to agree to meet me at my place later and that’s when I’d lay my ballsy request on them.
I pulled into the shop’s parking lot. Justin’s motorcycle was there. New Stacy’s bravado slipped a bit as I made my way to the open garage. You can do it, girl.
A man lay underneath a car as he worked on it. I swallowed hard as I stared at his bare torso. I’d know that body anywhere. It was Justin. Still, I needed to be sure before I ended up inviting a confused stranger over to my place. I cleared my throat. “Excuse me.”
“Yeah?”
I smiled. Yep, that was his voice. It still sent tingles racing down my body. “I’m looking for the owner of this fine establishment.”
“You’re lookin’ at him. Well, half of him.” Justin slid from beneath the car and looked up at me. Surprise showed on his face before all expression fell away. “What are you doing here?” he asked quietly.
“I wanted to see you.”
He stood slowly, his gaze never leaving me. “You’re seeing me.”
I took in his bare chest and arms, glistening and dirty with oil and sweat. I tore my focus away, back to his face. “Yeah, I am.”
“What’s going on?” His body seemed to tense. “Has Evan talked to you?”
I frowned. “No. Is he supposed to?”
Justin relaxed his shoulders and waved my question away. “Never mind. What brings you by?” He took a step toward me.
My pulse gained speed. Don’t chicken out now, damn it. “Can you come by my place tonight? I kept my apartment when I moved away so you know how to find it already.”
&nbs
p; Justin narrowed his blue eyes. “You want me to come over?” He took another step closer. “Why?” he asked with a hint of challenge in his voice.
“I, uh…” My mouth had suddenly gone dry and all the moisture made its way to my panties. “I need to talk to you about something.”
He tilted his head while giving me a sexy smirk. “Really? That’s interesting, actually, because I need to talk to you about something too.” He stood directly in front of me now.
I looked up at him. “Tonight at eight?” I asked breathlessly.
Justin stared at my mouth. “Tonight at eight.” He licked his lips before clearing his throat. “Now get out of here,” he said, stepping back, “before I get you dirty in more ways than one.”
I fled as fast as I could, knowing he would stay true to his word. I didn’t want to get something going with one of my men until I knew they were both on board. It wouldn’t be fair to have mind-blowing sex with Justin, knowing I planned to ask Evan if he wanted to be with me too. And that’s exactly why I was determined to find Evan next.
I decided to try his apartment. Well, the one he had before I’d left, anyhow. Other than the unnamed bar, I didn’t quite know where to look for him. Did he still work at Blaze? Doubtful. Now that he was starting up his own business, tending bar at the hip nightclub where we’d met probably wasn’t on his agenda. I breathed a sigh of relief when I turned into the parking lot and spotted his truck.
The thought occurred to me that I could very well be interrupting something. It would be awkward as hell to show up and find out he had “company.” Still, that didn’t stop me from knocking on his door. New Stacy would not be deterred.
My persistence didn’t appear to be paying off. There was no answer. Damn it. I turned to go.
Evan opened the door, wearing nothing but a towel. What was with these guys making it difficult for me to focus? He froze before giving me an uncertain smile. “Stacy. What are you doing here?”
Trying hard not to ogle the towel hanging low on his hips, I peeked over his shoulder. Did he have a woman in there? A woman who was taking my rightful place in his bed? “I can come back if this isn’t a good time.”
“No, it’s cool.” He stepped aside. “Come in.”
So, no company, huh? I felt far too relieved at that fact as I entered his apartment.
“Sorry it took me a minute to get the door—I was just getting out of the shower.”
“It’s fine.”
We stared at one another and I knew I was close to breaking my rule about not sleeping with one until both were up to speed. Because holy shit did he look good.
“You wanted to talk to me about something?”
I snapped out of my daze. “Uh, yeah. Could you come by my place tonight at eight?”
Evan’s features became guarded. “Your place… tonight?”
“Yes. I still live in the same apart—” I arched my eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”
He sighed. “Justin already talk to you?”
I cocked my head. “About what?”
Evan watched me for a moment. “Forget it.” He smiled. “I can come by. Actually, I’d planned to anyway.”
“You did?”
“Yeah,” he said, giving me a sheepish grin. “There’s something I’d like to talk to you about too.”
I looked away as I considered that. Justin needed to talk to me and now Evan needed to talk to me. I really didn’t know what the hell they had planned. I only hoped my little revelation didn’t fuck everything up.
Five
Evan pulled into a parking space outside Stacy’s apartment just as Justin did. He frowned as his friend hopped off his motorcycle. Shit. He’d known Justin was planning to tell Stacy how he felt, but this was bad timing. At the very same time Evan planned to tell her his feelings? Really bad timing. He was easily the less confrontational of the two, but he was close to kicking Justin’s ass.
Evan got out of the truck and slammed the door. He marched over to Justin. “Dude, what the hell are you doing here?”
“Me?” Justin frowned. “I was just about to ask you the same thing.”
Okay, he really didn’t have time for this shit. “Look, she wants to be with me, all right? Save yourself the embarrassment and go home.” He turned and walked toward her door.
Justin quickly caught up. “Please, she wants me. Now, I’d happily watch as she splatters your poor little heart all over her floor, but you’re my best friend. I’m trying to spare you the humiliation. Lord knows you’re a sensitive soul.” He snorted with derision.
Evan rolled his eyes. “As opposed to being a complete asshole like you.” They stopped walking and he turned to face Justin. “I’m not kidding, man. Just go.”
“Why should I? She wants me here.”
“You’re such a cocky bastard, so sure of yourself. Did it ever occur to you that she’d want to be with me anyway? Even after you tell her you’re supposedly in love with her?”
Justin gave him a blank look.
Exactly. It hadn’t occurred to him. The pushy bastard was used to getting what he wanted when it came to women. Well, that party was over—at least when it came to this woman.
Justin’s gaze hardened. “After I tell her I’m supposedly in love with her? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“Come on.” Evan ran a hand through his hair and expelled a short breath. “We both know you’re not a relationship kind of guy. Hell, you probably just think you’re in love because she’s the first woman you ever looked at as a person instead of just a bed buddy.”
“Screw you.” Justin continued walking.
“You’re not in love, Justin,” Evan said as he followed. “You like her. Fine, maybe you even love her, as a friend, and that’s cool. You can be her friend; I don’t care. But I’m the one she’s—”
Justin came to an abrupt stop and whirled around. “You don’t give me permission for shit, Evan. You want to do this? Go in there together, confess our love, and see which one of us she chooses?” He smirked. “Okay. Let’s go.”
Evan leaned in and dropped his voice as he gave his friend an unwavering glare. “Ready when you are.”
* * *
Justin narrowed his eyes. He had to admit he hadn’t been expecting Evan to hold his ground. His friend wasn’t a pussy; he just let most things go because they weren’t worth fighting over. Obviously, he thought being with Stacy was worth it. “Fine with me.” They continued the walk to her door. “It’s still pretty pathetic of you to show up here now.”
Evan scoffed. “Look who’s talking.”
Justin ignored him as he braced himself for the declaration he was about to make. Evan hadn’t been completely wrong. Justin had never been anywhere close to being in love before. This was new to him, but Evan needed to get off that high horse because this was his first time too. What the hell made him an expert?
Oh, right. Because Evan was the sensitive, emotional one and Justin was what? A heartless playboy? Okay, maybe that had been true most of their lives. However, one exasperating, brown-skinned beauty later and he was being forced to confront what his heart had been telling him all along: He was in love.
Evan may not believe Justin was even capable of the emotion, but to hell with him. As long as Stacy believed it when he looked into those incredible brown eyes of hers and told her. Of course, he’d rather do that without any annoying-ass witnesses around, but if Evan insisted on having his heart broken right there in front of Justin, so be it. It’s not as if he hadn’t been warned.
Justin felt a small tremor of something else totally foreign to him as they neared the door: a shake in confidence. What if Evan was right? What if, after having Justin tell her how he felt, Stacy chose Evan? A regretful look, a kind smile, and an “I’m sorry, Justin, but…” would be all it took to destroy his fucking heart. Damn Evan for getting in his head right now. And just when Justin was determined to be on the ball. Well played, asshole.
He knocked on the door. As the
y waited for her to answer, he whistled a carefree tune, hoping it would grate on Evan’s nerves.
“Will you shut up?” he grumbled.
Mission accomplished. Justin smiled. “What’s wrong?” He glanced over at his friend. “Nervous?”
Evan stared ahead at the door. “Are you?”
Justin’s smile faded. Shit, he was. “There’s still time to get out of here before she opens this door and everything changes.”
Evan nodded. “But I’m not going anywhere. You?” When Justin didn’t respond, he looked over at him and smiled. “Good luck.”
Having a healthy sense of self-esteem, which Evan always insisted was cockiness, Justin merely gave him an impassive look. “Thanks,” he said, quietly, “but I don’t need any.”
* * *
I examined myself in the mirror for the twentieth time after getting dressed. “What do you think, Doodle?” I asked my little Yorkshire Terrier. “Is this acceptable?” I wasn’t sure what the appropriate style of dress was for that special time when you were about to ask two former lovers if they wanted to be your current lovers. Oh, and would they be so kind as to do me at the same time again? Not literally at the same time, but…
Shit. Who was I kidding? I wouldn’t be saying no to that, should the opportunity arise.
In the meantime, it was enough to focus on simply getting the words out before I froze up in abject terror. The only thing that kept me pushing forward was knowing they each wanted me, at least sexually. Individually, either one of them would go for the chance to be my friend with smokin’ hot benefits. It was asking both of them to do it that was tricky. Would they be interested in going down that road again when I’d ended things rather abruptly last time?
Oh well—I would find out soon. I tugged on the hem of my form-fitting, strapless black dress. I’d known it was short when I bought it today. I mean, hello, I wanted my guys to salivate when they saw me. Now, however, I was feeling dangerously close to indecent. Could I even bend over in this thing?
My face warmed as I thought of either Evan or Justin bending me over. It wouldn’t matter how short the damn dress was then because it would be hiked up anyway. My nipples hardened at the thought and I fanned myself.
Friends and Lovers Page 3