I Speak For This Child: True Stories of a Child Advocate
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There have been many changes in both the Guardian ad Litem program in Florida and the social service agencies. The guardian program is no longer under the court system and is centrally controlled from Tallahassee. There are some negatives to this system, but the majority of dependent children in Florida have a guardian. Every so often the legislature threatens to lighten its budget by cutting back this sometimes misunderstood program—which gives the state probably its biggest bang for its buck since the myriad creative ways volunteers meet their children’s needs saves millions of dollars per year. Plus there is no price tag for getting children permanency more quickly. One negative change, in my opinion, is the rule against guardians driving children in their cars. Many relationship were cemented and secrets confessed in this private setting or over a sandwich or walk in a park. In our rural counties, developing relationships away from foster parents, family members, or school authorities is now more difficult, especially with teens.
The Department of Human and Rehabilitative Services (HRS) is now the Department of Children and Families (DCF) and they oversee child welfare in the state. However, community based care agencies (CBCs) are contracted to run foster care, adoptions, and other services. There are pros and cons to this arrangement, but in our district it has led to more progressive practices and fewer children languishing in foster care.
When the first edition of this book was published, I had no idea where my guardian journey would take me or the degree it would intersect with my family.
After both our sons were in college, my husband, Philip, and I stared at each other across the dinner table and admitted that we had an acute case of empty nest syndrome. We talked about the many children I’d helped find adoptive homes as a guardian—the Colby sisters were the beginning of a trend in my cases—and I knew there were many other young people with whom we could share our home and hearts. However we didn’t act on our altruistic impulse until we were shocked into changing our life.
The day was dazzling. We were flying in our small private plane to our older son’s graduation from Princeton. Our younger son was in the rear and Philip was at the controls. After an uneventful trip, we soared over the glinting waters of Delaware Bay and descended for a landing in Trenton, New Jersey. Suddenly there was a loud cracking sound. The engine stopped. No airports were in sight. We headed for the nearest field, plowed through a fence, spun around into another field and stopped. Miraculously we were unscathed. Philip hugged me and said, “I guess there is something we’re meant to do.”
Two weeks later we enrolled in the foster and adoptive parent training course, went through the home study, and had our background checked thoroughly. A friend told us about an eleven-year-old foster girl in a nearby county. Eventually we found out her name was Ashley and she had a wonderful guardian handling her complex case. Ashley’s story is so remarkable that she wrote her own book, Three Little Words, which became a New York Times bestseller. (www.rhodescourter.com)
Being a guardian is a lot different from being an adoptive parent, especially to a child who lived in thirteen homes including two institutions prior to coming to us. Today Ashley Rhodes-Courter is an honors college graduate, an author, motivational speaker, and young married woman. Her accomplishments have been well documented in the media and we are her very proud parents. Our most fervent wish is that our love and attention have remediated her sufficiently that she will be able to parent her own children successfully.
Oh, and she and her husband are both Guardians ad Litem!
Readers continue to ask what happened to the various children and families featured in I Speak for This Child: True Stories of a Child Advocate. Just the fact that they care—as I still do—speaks to the humanity in all of us. Updates will continuously be made to the electronic versions of this book, with new chapters—like “Lolita II”—added from time to time.
I am still an active Guardian ad Litem in my Florida community. Since 1989 I’ve had cases continuously, with only a month or two off due to travel. As I write, I am working for three children under age five with a mother who has left the state and three different fathers—including one in prison. Hopefully they will all end up with the same permanent family. There are many complications that will require creative solutions, yet I am not discouraged.
Each guardian case begins with enormous upheaval and crisis for the children and their families. Adults sometimes forget a very basic premise of child development. We often expect children to think as adults do but suppose that they feel differently. In fact, the opposite is true. As children’s minds are forming, they do not process ideas in logical ways. We cannot expect them to sit still just because we say to or to make reasonable requests or thoughtful decisions. On the other hand, even infants are upset when they hear a voice raised in anger. If we told another adult that their actions were “stupid” or shouted for compliance, we would offend them, and yet we don’t allow children to react in the same way. Young people should receive the same courtesy we extend to honored business associates, treasured friends, and respected relatives. We need to allow for their immaturity in behavior while being loving, supportive, and kind. My most important role as a Guardian ad Litem is to interpret this truth to both the children as well as to their assigned caretakers.
Today with so many of my guardian children’s lives in flux, I am asked whether I think I made a difference in the long run. I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter. I made a difference on some days. I arranged a dentist appointment or got them into a special education class or located their parent when nobody else had bothered to do so. I listened to their complaints or held their hand when nobody else was around. I told them over and over that they were worth something. I forgave their faults and applauded their achievements. These children are neither failures nor successes, they are evolving human beings.
And no matter what they become, my greatest hope is that someday, somehow, somewhere each one will remember to renew the license to care for another person in need and pass the legacy on.
The heyday of a woman’s life is … when the vital forces heretofore expended in other ways are garnered in the brain, when their thoughts and sentiments flow out in broader channels, when philanthropy takes the place of family selfishness, and when from the depths of poverty and suffering the wail of humanity grows as pathetic to their ears as once was the cry of their own children.
—ELIZABETH CADY STANTON
9
How to Contribute
The best effect of any book is that it excites the reader to self-activity
—THOMAS CARLYLE
HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED UP FROM A NEWSPAPER AND wondered, “What can I do to help?” If so, there are several national and international organizations, listed below, that promote child advocacy and children’s rights. If you are interested in becoming a Guardian ad Litem or wish to advocate for children in a capacity that bests suits your interests, abilities, location, and time, your participation will be welcomed. Some commitments involve contact with children and the courts, others are more political in nature, but all need concerned citizens and active volunteers to promote the cause of children. Many states use volunteers in court while others engage attorneys as the Guardian ad Litem with volunteers assisting them. Programs are supervised through varied agencies including state judiciary systems, the executive branch, public defender’s offices, or are independent.
National Court Appointed Special Advocate Association (CASA)
www.casaforchildren.org
www.nationalcasa.org
North Tower, Suite 500
100 W. Harrison Street
Seattle, WA 98118
(800) 628-3233
The mission of the National Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) Association, together with its state and local members, is to support and promote court-appointed volunteer advocacy for abused and neglected children so that they can thrive in safe, permanent homes. National CASA and its network of over 1,000 local commu
nity program offices support volunteers serving children. The role of local CASA programs is to recruit, train and support volunteers in their work with abused children.
Children’s Defense Fund
www.childrensdefense.org
25 E Street NW
Washington, DC 20001
(202) 628-8787
The Children’s Defense Fund’s mission is to ensure every child a healthy start, a head start, a fair start, a safe start, and a moral start in life and successful passage to adulthood with the help of caring families and communities. It provides a strong, effective and independent voice for all the children of America who cannot vote, lobby or speak for themselves.
Child Welfare League of America
www.childrensdefense.org
25 E Street NW
Washington, DC 20001
(800) 233-1200
The Child Welfare League of America is a coalition of hundreds of private and public agencies serving vulnerable children and families since 1920. Their expertise, leadership and innovation on policies, programs, and practices help improve the lives of millions of children in all 50 states.
Children’s Rights
www.childrensrights.org
330 Seventh Avenue, 4th Floor
New York, NY 10001
(212) 683-2210
Children’s Rights is a national advocacy group working to reform failing child welfare systems on behalf of hundreds of thousands of abused and neglected children who depend on them for protection and care. They have been fighting to enshrine in the law of the land every child’s right to be protected from abuse and neglect and to grow up in a safe, stable, permanent home. They have won landmark victories and brought about sweeping improvements in the lives of abused and neglected children in more than a dozen states.
Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption
www.davethomasfoundation.org
524 Metro Place North, Suite 220
Dublin, Ohio 43017
(800) 275-3832
The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption exists to be an agent of change in the lives of children in North America waiting to be adopted out of foster care and in the attitudes of adults who, either unknowingly or helplessly, allow children to linger in government systems without the birthright of every child—a safe, loving and permanent family.
Defense for Children International
www.defenceforchildren.org
Rue de Varembé, 1 Case Postale 88
Geneva 20, Switzerland
The Defense for Children International promotes and protects the rights of the child and helped draft the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, which entered into force in 1990.
The National Committee for the Rights of the Child (NCRC)
www.crin.org
2530 Riva Road, Suite LL3
Annapolis, MD 21401
(410) 224-8764
The National Committee for the Rights of the Child works to monitor and implement the Convention on the Rights of the Child nationally in the USA.
North American Council on Adoptable Children (NACAC)
www.nacac.org
970 Raymond Avenue, Suite 106
St. Paul, MN 55114
(651) 644-3036
In North America, tens of thousands of children cannot remain with their birth families. These children—once labeled unadoptable or hard to place—are mostly school-aged. Some are brothers and sisters who must be placed together. Some are drug-exposed or medically fragile. Most have physical, mental, or emotional difficulties. Many are children of color. All need loving families. The North American Council on Adoptable Children is committed to meeting the needs of waiting children and the families who adopt them.
Places to make a difference in your own community:
CASA/Guardian ad Litem
Big Brothers, Big Sisters
Boys and Girls Clubs
Mentoring
Ys
School volunteers
Library volunteers
Foster parenting
Adoption of children from foster care system
And so much more!
BOOK CLUB GUIDE
MOST COMMUNITIES HAVE A CASA (COURT APPOINTED special advocate or Guardian ad Litem program). Some book clubs invite a volunteer or staff member to their meeting. Sometimes this leads to new volunteers from the group or gives additional insight into children’s needs and issues locally.
Discussion starters:
Do you think the author knew what she was getting into when she first became a volunteer?
Why did Gay clash with professional caseworkers so often?
Lydia Ryan ended up in juvenile detention without having committed a crime. What could have prevented this? Do you think this happens very often?
Do you think these volunteers make friends in the community? Why might their role be controversial? Who might oppose them?
Whose rights should prevail? The parents’? The child’s?
Can you recall a child abuse case that received a lot of press in your community? Do you think that child had an advocate?
Were you surprised by any of the outcomes in the author’s update on what happened after these young people grew up? What could have been done to change these?
Do you know anyone who has adopted from foster care? Do you know anyone who has adopted an older child or a teenager? Is it “easier” to adopt a small child or a teenager? What about a sibling group?
Have you ever known a foster family? What are some of the challenges they have faced?
Do you know families who are raising their relatives or grandchildren?
Have you ever known a family whose children were removed due to abuse or neglect?
Has your opinion about foster children changed after reading this book?
What are some adjectives that describe the author’s personality?
Are you curious to read her adoptive daughter’s book?
Were you inspired to make a difference for a child in your community?
Gay Courter participates in book club discussions by phone, when available. She is also a paid keynote speaker. Contact: gay@gaycourter.com
Index
(Searching Guide for E-books)
bold italics = pseudonyms
Adoption
Closed
open
Allen, Woody
Attachment disorders
Attorneys, as Guardians ad Litem
Baby Jessica. See DeBoer, Jessica
Baby M.
Baker Act (Fla.; 1970)
Black, Roy
Blair, Jerri
Bonding, parent-child
Bonito, Helen
CAPTA. See Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act
CAS A. See Court appointed special advocate
Case histories
Colby family
Lydia Ryan
Sharonda James
Stevenson family
Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA; 1974)
Child abuse registry
Child advocate. See Court appointed special advocate; Guardians ad Litem
Children’s Defense Fund
Children’s rights
Convention on the Rights of the Child
legal precedents
legal representation
open adoption
organizations/associations
psychological vs. biological parents
timely, appropriate case disposition
“Children’s Rights: A Legal Perspective” (Clinton)
“Children Under the Law” (Clinton)
Child Welfare League of America
Clinton, Hillary Rodham
Closed adoption
Colby family case history
Buddy (Mervyn; father)
Julie (daughter)
Lottie (mother)
Nicole (daughter)
Simone (daughter)
Confidentiality
Contempt of court<
br />
Convention on the Rights of the Child (United Nations
Corporal punishment
Court appointed special advocate (CASA)
(see also Guardians ad Litem)
DeBoer, Jessica
Defense for Children International,
Edelman, Marian Wright
Elliott, Lillian
Colby case
Ryan case
Stevenson case
Family preservation
biological vs. psychological parents
Florida, Guardians ad Litem program
Foster care
client population
government costs/funding
limit testing
placement adjustment
placement turnover
training, licensing, payment
Friend of the court
GAL. See Guardians ad Litem
Gault decision (1967)
Gregory K. See Kingsley, Gregory
Guardian ad Litem Foundation
Guardians, legal
Guardians ad Litem (GALs)
advocate privacy preservation
advocate profile
appointment mandates
attorneys as
case distribution
caseloads
client confidentiality
criminal prosecutions
investigation priorities
legal protections
privileged information access,
as protectors of child’s best interests
record keeping
responsibilities
state programs (see also Florida)
supervision
training
Hastedt, Nancy
Colby case
Kingsley case
Ryan case
Stevenson case
Health and Rehabilitative Services Department (HRS), Florida
Jackson, Jesse
James, Sharonda, case history