Break Me (The Summer Series)

by James, Harper

  ~~~

  “Okay, you got to show me your favorite place yesterday, so today it’s my turn.” She smiled up at him as she led him by the hand through the parking lot and toward Dockside. “It’s silly, I know, but the owner is one of the greatest people I know, and she lets me hang out here pretty much all day, every day while I’m here every summer.”

  “So this is what you do all day?” he asked as he gestured toward the coffee house.

  “Yes. I know.” She sighed. “You were looking for me all this time, and I was here, right under your nose.” She winked at him, but he pulled her to a stop, aligning their bodies with only inches between them.

  “And why do you say that sarcastically? Maybe I have been looking for you. Maybe I do wonder what you are doing pretty much any time I’m not with you ever since the first time I met you and you threatened to as you put it, “beat me down.” Maybe, just maybe, your showing me this little detail about yourself has opened my eyes to who you are more than you’ll ever know.” He pushed a few stray hairs behind her ear and let his thumb play with her earlobe. She licked her bottom lip and then drew it into her mouth. As she chewed her lip they gravitated closer to one another, taking deeper breaths as their surroundings began to disappear. Just as Gemma lifted to her toes, allowing the space between them to close, he gripped her arm and rested his forehead against hers. “Not here. Not now. Not yet, Gemma. This will be perfect, and it’ll be when you’re ready, when you trust me, and when you can’t think of anything but us.”

  Nodding against his forehead, she took a step and then two back, before reaching out and grabbing his hand. “Well, come on then. Let’s go see if you pass the test.”

  “What test?” Abe laughed as she pulled him along behind her and though a glass door.

  “Oh, you had to know I would have my own version of the mom test. Mine isn’t here and Sarah is the closest thing I have, so come on.”

  Just then Sarah came around the corner in the back, walking toward the coffee bar. “Well, well, well. Look what the lazy surfer dragged in.”

  Confused, Gemma started to talk but was interrupted by Abe. “Sarah Belle, give me a hug and make it matter.” Abe said as he place both palms on the bar and hoisted himself up so he could reach Sarah to give her a kiss on the cheek. “How’s my girl?” He grinned down at her.

  “A little upset, actually.” She pouted. “Looks like you’re stepping out on me.

  “Well”—Abe shrugged—“can you blame me? I mean have you seen her?”

  “You little brat,” Sarah mock scolded Abe with a wink.

  “Hey, you’re still the hottest thing here; she’s not a local, so it doesn’t count.” Abe smiled at her, and even fifty-something Sarah was putty in his hands.

  Tsking him, she went over to the freezer and pulled out some coffee ice to start making Gemma’s drink. “And what will you have, Mr. North?”

  “Eh, whatever Gem’s having is good for me.” He reached out and pulled her to his side, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. She blushed as Sarah chuckled to herself.

  “Well, all right then. Gem always gets the iced coffee.” She finished pouring the drinks and walked them over to the couple. “So, how long has this been going on?”

  “Oh, longer than you’d think. A solid twenty-eight or twenty-nine hours, wouldn’t you say, Gem?”

  “Are you two done having your fun?” Gemma narrowed her eyes at them and crossed her arms, trying unsuccessfully to pull out of Abe’s hold. It was all a farce, though. She loved every second they’d had since she and Abe walked through the door. Sarah’s obvious stamp of approval made her almost ecstatic with joy.

  “I don’t know. Do you think Mom away from home approves of me?” Abe laughed.

  “Shut up.” She chuckled as she nudged him with her elbow as she started to walk away, waving goodbye to Sarah with a wide smile. “Thanks for the drink. See you tomorrow. I’ll be the recently single patron.”

  “Oh, boy”—Sarah laughed—“you better go, boy. You don’t let girls like Gemma get away.”

  “Obviously, I’m aware. I wouldn’t take her abuse if it wasn’t worth it.” Both women laughed as they waved goodbye to one another.

  “So”—Gemma took a long draw of her iced coffee and checked for cars before heading to Abe’s in the corner of the lot—“you know Sarah, huh?”

  “You could say that.” He walked her to her side of the car and opened the door for her. “My gramps used to date her when I was ten or so.” Gemma froze mid step and looked at Abe in shock. “Oh, Gramps is all kinds of a player. They had the whole town talking for a while there. They only lasted for about six months. It was a short thing and it ended well, and she just kind of took on the role of Mom from there. One lesson I learned early was not to ever say ‘Grandma’ when referring to her role in my life or she’d kill me. So essentially, I go to her when I need a Mom’s input or if I just need a break from my day. She’s the one I had help me pick out my prom date’s corsage. She’s the one who helped me write my college applications, and she is the one who feeds me when I decide I just don’t want to eat alone.”

  “And you love her.” It wasn’t a question. It was obvious in how he talked to her. It was obvious in how she looked at him. And with this realization, the final wall Gemma had constructed to keep herself safe cracked. It was like a Jenga tower. All it was going to take now was a gust of wind. As soon as that blew, the remaining blocks were going down and he would own everything. What Gemma couldn’t believe was that she felt as if she were shaking the table, begging the tower to collapse. She didn’t need another turn. She was ready to be done with the game.

  Six

  Abe turned as Gemma walked up behind him. She had visibly startled him, and he only relaxed when his eyes found hers. “Sorry,” she whispered.

  “It’s okay. I was starting to think you wouldn’t come.”

  “I had to skirt Kate. I don’t know that I’m ready to tell her about my nights out.”

  “You don’t think she knows?” He stepped toward her and grabbed her hand, leading her toward a blanket he had set up along with a picnic basket.

  “No, she tends to live in her own world, you know?” She shrugged, eyeing the basket.

  “Maybe. She picked up on us pretty quickly, though. I could see it in her eyes that night of the party. If I had taken her up on her offers, she would have beat me up and left me for the vultures.” He sat down in the middle of the blanket and pulled her after him, opening the basket and handing her a water bottle as soon as she was settled. “She has this look in her eye where you are concerned. She’s very protective.”

  “Okay. I’ll trust that sixth sense of yours.” She laughed. “What’s all this?” She pointed at the berries and veggies he was pulling out of the basket, changing the subject before she had to analyze what Abe was saying too closely.

  “Well, when you work a night shift, your meals are kind of thrown out of whack. This is my dinner or breakfast, whatever you want to call it.” He shrugged and then pulled a couple different containers out of the basket, placing one on the blanket and holding one out for her to take.

  “You made me dinner?” She smiled up at him and reached for a piece of celery.

  “Yes, all for you. Not a piece of this was for a selfish reason. My sole aim in life is to make you happy.”

  “Man, every time I think you’ve hit the limit to your awesomeness you go and prove yourself to be that much more.” She leaned forward as if to kiss him, and his eyes went wide. Smirking, she reached beside him and grabbed one of the strawberries from the bowl. “You aren’t that much more.” She winked.

  “Tease.” He exhaled his hope and inhaled reality.

  They continued to talk, Abe telling her about his plans to attend NC State and that Emily would be there as well. He also told her about Simon, another friend who would be attending school in Virginia. He was the only friend even leaving the state. Listening to him talk about his definite plans made somethin
g in Gemma ache. She kept her mouth closed but, in the back of her mind, clung to the news that he would be going to school at a university less than thirty minutes from the one she had an acceptance letter for hidden in a drawer at home.

  An hour later they were lying back, looking at the bright night sky. For her, nothing compared to the stars she saw in Texas, but there was something to be said about looking up at an empty sky along the beach. Hearing the waves crash and seeing everything so clearly allowed her mind to empty of all her confusion and her brain to relax and shut off as it never could during the day. Her father used his loft to do what she could do with some stars and the ocean.

  “I was accepted to University of North Carolina. Full Ride. All I have to do is attend my first-year orientation on July 29th to finalize my schedule, and it’s a done deal.” She didn’t look over at him. She couldn’t. This was her first time to confess to anyone what she had done. It was liberating and terrifying at the same time.

  “What?” They had both grown tired, just enjoying lying beside one another and watching the night sky. She could tell she had woken him with her words.

  “That’s my biggest secret. My mom, she wants me to create art, to make this world more bearable for everyone in it. I love art; I really do. I can draw well enough, and I’m great at graphic design, but my heart . . .?” She rolled so she was facing him and he followed suit. “My heart wants to create stories. I was on the newspaper staff at school all four years because that was the only way I could get away with writing and not being yelled at for betraying her. On a whim, I decided to apply to UNC not because my father was there and not because it’s the best or anything but because there was just something drawing my heart there, you know?”

  He nodded. “I know something about the heart telling us to do something before it’s even logical.” He reached his hand out and grabbed hers on the blanket beside him, squeezing it to guarantee she got his meaning.

  She scooted closer to him, pushing him on his back and laying her head on his shoulder. She looked up into his eyes and smiled. “I guess that’s twice it’s happened for me then.”

  He smiled down at her and kissed her forehead. A jolt of lightning ran through her from head to core, and she gripped his shirt, just above his heart. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

  “Don’t be.” She forced her hand to release him and closed her eyes, taking a calming breath so she could continue. “My mother, she doesn’t know about my applying. I kind of figured nothing would come of it, but now that I can actually stand Kate and now that I’ve met you and your friends, I don’t know. North Carolina doesn’t seem that crazy.”

  “Me and my friends?” he asked, a little too anxious for her liking.

  “Yeah, I mean”—she laughed nervously—“I’m not trying to trap you if that’s what has you freaking out. I’m just saying all these years I’ve been shy and self-conscious. Now, I feel as if I could do it. If I can make friends with people like you, people who would have terrified me in high school, then I know I can do it in school too.”

  “So that’s what you want now? UNC?” He ran his fingers through her hair, drawing out goose bumps down her entire body.

  “I think so. I just have to figure out how to explain it to my mother.” She turned and buried her face in his chest. “I can’t explain how awful that’s going to be. She’ll see it as a betrayal: to live so close to him, to choose his profession, to abandon her and leave her all alone. It’s going to break her heart.”

  “But wouldn’t it break your heart to give up on something you finally know for sure that you want?”

  “No, I mean I can write and perfect my craft anywhere. A school isn’t what makes a writer. It’s heart and dedication. It’s this passion to put things on paper that you can’t get out of your head, and you think that maybe, just maybe, someone will read it and get a few hours break from their life. Honestly, it’s just that for the first time in my life I don’t care. I just want to live for me for a change, not because of the stupid decisions they both made when they were twenty and not because of the differences in the lifestyles we’ve known. I want to make a decision because it’s the one I choose, to hell with the consequences.”

  “Then you have my support in any way you need it.” He squeezed her tighter to his side, and she relaxed into him. “I’m here for you, Gem.” As she relaxed into him, unable to fight her exhaustion a second longer, she could have sworn she heard him whisper, “always.”

  ~~~

  “Gem, please. Please, please, please, please, please.” Kate bounced from foot to foot, her bottom lip out. Gemma tried to walk away, but Kate was persistent, stepping in her path and unleashing puppy dog eyes like Gemma had never seen.

  “Oh my God, seriously, Kate?” Gemma threw her hands up in frustration, fighting a smile.

  “Yes, and I won’t stop until you agree to come.”

  “You know I was planning to hang out with Abe this afternoon, right?”

  “Yes.” She smirked, knowing that Gemma’s response was basically a concession. “I also know that you have to keep them wanting more. Where are you guys by now? Second, third? Please tell me you haven’t let him slide into home yet.”

  “Oh, please stop, right now.”

  “Ooooh, is that what you said to him?”

  “How did I miss how gross you are all these years?”

  Kate’s jaw dropped. “What? I’m educated. Oh, and curious, always curious.”

  “That’s what pervs always say.” Gemma snorted as she raised her brow, looking at Kate as if she were crazy.

  “Brat.” Kate laughed and they both smiled at one another. “Seriously, not all of us have paired off yet; please help me out.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “Yes.” Kate jumped up and down. “Don’t worry your little head. You just get ready and text lover boy that you’re going to miss today’s rendezvous. We’ve got some shopping to do.” She hurried into the bathroom to finish putting on her makeup for the day.

  Once Gemma had apologized to Abe for the tenth time, she made her way up the stairs to grab some breakfast before the girls left. Gray was pouring a bowl of Cookie Crisp and watching the television in the living room. “Morning,” she said to him as she walked toward the cabinet that held the bagels.

  His eyes went wide, and a moment later, he smiled down at her. Awe filled his voice as he replied to her. It dawned on Gemma that Kate wasn’t the only sibling wanting more of a relationship with her. She promised herself she would make more of an effort. Maybe one night while she was waiting on Abe to get done with work she would take him to the movies or something.

  “Ready slutty mc-slut slut?” Kate came down the stairs and nudged Gray as she passed.

  “Kate,” Gemma squealed, looking toward Gray.

  “It’s okay, Gemma. She’s just talking to herself,” he said. Both girls gasped and then laughed at their brother. He smiled at them and then left the room, headed for the couch.

  “Bye, Gray.” Gemma hollered over her shoulder as Kate let her out of the room.

  ~~~

  “So, seriously,” Kate asked, as the hangers scraped across the rack while they searched for something to wear to the party Abe mentioned that was coming up the next night, “how far have you gone?”

  “Um.” Gemma blushed.

  “What!” Kate yelled, abandoning her search for clothes and stepping right in front of Gemma. “What have you done? How far have you gone? I need details. Give me the details, woman!”

  “Kate, seriously,” Gemma replied as she rolled her eyes and turned back to the clothes she had been searching through. “Do you just say anything that pops into your head?”

  “No.” Kate chewed her lip. “Should I?”

  “Please, no.” Gemma said quickly, hedging off that idea. She couldn’t imagine what would be floating around in Kate’s head if the things coming out of her mouth were the edited versions. Clearing her throat, she looked at her hands as she pulled th
em from the hangers and began to work them together nervously. She never talked about sex with her mother. It was understood that any activity with men should be strictly platonic or history would, inevitably, repeat itself. She forced herself to keep talking, to say things to Kate that a sister or friend would, if for no other reason than to have someone to talk to if and when things did progress between her and Abe. “I have no details. I’m sorry,”—Gemma chuckled—“but we haven’t even kissed yet so—”

  “You haven’t kissed?” Kate nearly screamed for the entire store to hear, her eyes making her look somewhat crazy in her shock.

  “No, I want to be sure, you know? I want this one to matter. I don’t want to ruin it or waste it. Believe me. The last guy I dated only turned me off on the idea of any kind of physical relationship. Abe is doing a good job of pulling my interest back, though.” Gemma couldn’t help the smile that took over her face.

  “Oh, I can only imagine.” Kate raised and lowered her eyebrows suggestively.

  “Oh, shut up!” Gemma yelled and they both laughed as they made their way back to shopping.

  Seven

  There was faint music in the background and laughter filling the public beach as the girls approached. Gemma couldn’t believe how antsy and thrilled she was to be seeing Abe, but as she noticed him hurrying toward her from the distance, she knew she couldn’t deny that it was exactly how she felt. “There’s my girl.” Abe laughed as he swept Gemma up into a hug. She honestly hadn’t realized how much she would miss him. Her quick trip shopping with Kate had turned into a daylong event, and by the time they made it home, she was too exhausted to sneak out and see him. Being the perfect gentleman, he didn’t complain at all. A part of her had hoped he might. That slumber party he had alluded to before was becoming more and more tempting.

  “Yeah, yeah.” Kate rolled her eyes playfully. “Just point me to anyone single and I’ll catch you all later.”