by Anita Waller
‘And that’s it? Did Ray never suspect?’
‘I don’t think so. He knew I had the second job, obviously, because it paid for our honeymoon, but I never let it come into our life. I have to say, Jenny, I regret not being with Michael. I believe, in your life, there is always one person who is so totally right for you. Michael was my soul mate, in every way, just as I believe you and Mark have both found exactly the right person.
‘I gave my right person up and lived a life of being bullied, being scared, but being even more scared of leaving him. Ray was a good father, but a lousy husband, and I gave up my happiness really for the sake of my three children. They never went without anything, had amazing educations, and, more than all that, they loved their father. I felt I didn’t have the right to jeopardise any of that.
‘But, now, it’s my time, and those ridiculous anniversary cards were the absolute catalyst, final straw, call it what you will. When I divorce him, I know I will have to see him, but that will be the only time. The thought of that makes me feel so sick, but there will be other people there, and I will be safe. I’ll take Dan with me,’ she finished with a laugh.
Silence permeated the room, until Jenny spoke.
‘Don’t divorce him, Anna. You won’t need to. Trust me on this. I’ll get Lindum Lodge back for you, you see if I don’t.’
She held up a hand as Anna started to speak.
‘Sssh. You don’t need to know anything yet. Just don’t do anything about a divorce. Might even be a good idea to let Mark, Tim, and Caroline know there’s half a chance you’ll go back to him, once you’ve had some breathing space. They will pass any information like that on to Ray. It will get him off your back for a bit, if he thinks that all he has to do is lay low for a while, and you’ll run back with your tail between your legs. Are you okay for money? Has he stopped your cards?’
Anna laughed. ‘I reckon I have more than half a million he can’t touch, but he doesn’t really know about that. It’s all in my name. The only thing he does know about is I emptied the joint account simply by transferring the balance into my account, so he thinks I’ve got maybe £5000 from that, plus the money from the sale of Mum and Dad’s house. I’m fine as far as money goes.’
‘Good. I couldn’t really have helped, because Mark would have seen money leaving our accounts and going to you. But, you have my support in every other way. Ray is a bastard, and finally, he’s going to pay for that.’
*****
They sat in their less than comfortable camping chairs for quite some time before moving into their respective bedrooms on their makeshift camping beds. Anna tossed and turned through most of the night, and heard Jenny get up to make a drink around three o’clock. Her mind was whirling.
There was sense in Jenny’s advice about letting Ray think she might go back to him – it would take the pressure away, and he would just sit back with that sanctimonious smile on his face, waiting for her to scuttle back. She would have to contact Mark ostensibly, just for a chat, to explain what she was doing, and Mark would go straight to his father to tell him.
She would also have to talk to Caroline. Her daughter would always take Ray’s side, but she still needed to tell her why she had left.
And then there was Tim. Her Tim. Of all her children, she had felt closest to him. She had taken a nasty beating from Ray when she had supported Tim during the dark days of him telling them he was homosexual. Ray had always found it difficult to believe any son of his could be gay, but all Anna cared about was Tim’s happiness. She presumed he found it hard to tell them, because he knew what Ray’s reaction would be, but she had guessed anyway. Anna felt she needed Tim now. She must contact him in Florida and just talk. She suspected Ray wouldn’t have bothered telling him, but Mark might have rung him, and she knew Tim would be waiting for her call.
She mentally made a list of things to do through that long night, laughing at herself for thinking, at first, she could send them a letter. She had to speak to all of them and soon. Finally, around 3 am, Anna dropped off to sleep.
Chapter 7
Saturday, 14 March 2015
Day Six
Anna awoke to the smell of bacon sandwiches and coffee. Jenny stood by the side of her bed, holding a paper bag and a mug.
‘Breakfast!’
‘Where…?’
‘Go down to the ground floor, out of the building, and turn right, then right again. There’s a little café that does breakfasts. I got us bacon sandwiches and have made coffee. Come on, time to get up.’
It had been a long night, and the coffee and food went some way towards putting her head back in order. They stayed in the flat until after two o’clock, and then they drove out of the city centre until they found a retail park. Anna bought a television and stand, a laptop, a printer, an iron, a toaster, and sundry items all from the same retailer. They laughed when the sales assistants escorted them back to the car and loaded it all into the boot. A big tick for that electrical retailer! She also ordered a washing machine and fridge freezer, which they were more than happy to deliver and install for free.
And she also bought a fish tank. Throughout their entire married life, Ray had steadfastly refused to allow pets of any sort – one day, Anna and the boys returned from a trip to the local fair with a goldfish in a plastic bag. They stopped at the pet shop and bought a bowl, setting it up before Ray arrived home. They called the fish Eric, mainly because it reminded Anna of a special day she had spent with Michael. He had had a magnificent tropical fish tank with what seemed to be hundreds of fish. He had laughingly said he had named them all so she pointed to one and asked what it was called. He said Eric. She pointed to another and asked its name. He said Eric. And a third, and a fourth. He had called them all Eric, to save confusion, he said.
When Ray came home, he scooped the fish out of the bowl, squashed it, and flushed it away down the toilet. He emptied the bowl and threw that in the bin. Pets were never mentioned again after that. So, now, Anna had an all singing, all dancing fish tank, with a wonderful lighting system, and next week, she’d have a fish!
The frivolity and happiness surrounding spending money on new items lasted until they arrived back at the flat, and reality hit them again. She had enjoyed her time with Jenny, and, really, it was the first time she had enjoyed her company since the day she married Mark. She was seeing a softer Jenny; unburdening herself had been good for her. However, she had to go back home the next day, and Anna knew she would be truly on her own then. Charlie was meeting her on Monday, but Anna now had secrets, secrets she had promised would stay with her.
They connected the television; a smart piece of equipment which had a built in DVD player and looked really good standing in the corner. Jenny scrutinised the room.
‘I quite envy you,’ she said quietly. ‘This could almost be fun, if the situation ...’ she broke off with a catch in her breath.
Anna moved across to her and held her. ‘Jenny, you’re not on your own any more. Now, there are two of us, and we can speak any time.’
‘I know.’ Anna felt Jenny sag against her. ‘You have no idea how good it feels just to tell somebody, to acknowledge to myself that I needed to talk about it. I’ll never be able to speak with Mark about it; it would be the end of my marriage, even if we stayed together. I’ve kept it to myself for too long, and I don’t think Mark would ever see beyond that.’
‘Jenny, it doesn’t matter who the genetic father is. Mark is Adam’s dad. Just as a matter of interest, did Ray never suspect...?’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t think so, but I’ve never spoken to Ray since that day. He rang quite a lot after Mark and I got back from honeymoon, but all his calls to my phone are now blocked. The ability to block calls is a wonderful thing,’ she added with a smile.
They had a pleasant evening listening to the radio, feeling somewhat let down by the Saturday night viewing on the television, and were both in bed by ten o’clock. Anna slept better than the previous night, and Jen
ny was ready to leave by eight o’clock the next morning.
Chapter 8
Sunday, 15 March 2015
Day Seven
Anna went down to the car park with Jenny, and they hugged. ‘Don’t despair, Jenny,’ she whispered as she held her daughter- in- law. ‘We’ll get through this.'
Jenny climbed into the driver’s seat of her little silver Fiesta, closed the door, and lowered the window. ‘Thank you for listening, Anna. And I’ll leave you to see to the smoothing over of things. Start with Mark. He’ll pass the message on to Ray, and Ray will back off. You will return to Lindum Lodge, when he’s dead.’
She put the car into first gear and waved out of the open window as she drove off.
Anna felt sick. She absolutely loathed Ray with a passion, and deep down, she knew there would be no mourning if he was dead, but for heaven’s sake! It had to be by natural causes, not by Jenny’s hand!
She hadn’t really believed for one minute Jenny meant it when she had said at Trowell she would need Anna to alibi her, but she wondered just how well she knew Jenny. When she first started seeing Mark, she had enjoyed getting to know her, but then it had been a very barren ten years, until this weekend.
Finally, Anna now knew why their friendship had deteriorated so spectacularly; limited to birthday and Christmas cards – oh, and anniversary cards. Anna wanted to bring her back, wanted to tell her not to do anything stupid. She had two children who loved her, and their upbringing and development was the most important thing. Hadn’t she proved that? She gave up her freedom and her self-respect to make sure her children had the best possible start in life, and she desperately wanted Jenny to do the same and drop all thoughts of revenge.
Anna promised herself she would ring Jenny later, and then went back up in the lift and let herself into the apartment. She wanted to sort out furniture, but forced herself to put it on hold for a day. The football results had told them Sheffield Wednesday had drawn 1-1 against Fulham, and she suspected Ray and Mark would have stayed overnight in Sheffield to celebrate.
Wednesday had had a rocky season, and seemed to be finishing mid-table, but at least hadn’t been battling relegation; she knew that would be cause for celebration in Ray’s eyes. Anna couldn’t take the risk of being spotted, so she stayed put. They had picked up a couple of store catalogues the day before, so she spent an hour or so reading through them, making a list of essentials, and thoroughly enjoying herself.
The call from Jenny broke into her semi-comatose state. She had started to nod off in the very uncomfortable camping chair.
‘Jenny? You’re okay?’ Anna knew she sounded anxious. She was. Jenny couldn’t possibly be home yet.
She laughed. ‘I’m fine. Mark isn’t coming back until tomorrow. They did stay in Sheffield last night, and are still there until this afternoon to make sure the alcohol is out of Mark’s system before driving back to Lincoln. He overdid it a bit last night I think.’ She went quiet. ‘Anna, they stayed at the Hilton.’
Anna too went quiet. ‘No... How lucky am I that I could move on Friday – my original move day was Monday, but they knew I was desperate to move in, and I got the keys for Friday. I would have bumped into them, wouldn’t I?’ She could hear the flatness in her voice. She felt threatened and scared, and Ray wasn’t anywhere near her.
‘Don’t panic, Anna. We out-thought him. We took all necessary precautions to avoid even the possibility of seeing them. You need to stay put today until you hear from me, though. Mark is going to ring me when they get back to Lindum Lodge. By the way, I played the concerned daughter- in- law, and asked how Ray was doing and if he had any idea where you’d disappeared to; he hasn’t. Mark did say he’s starting to unravel, not eating much, drinking too much, and talking about you constantly, but he’s really quite angry you’re out of his control.’
‘So, where are you now?’
‘I’ve pulled in for a drink at Trowell, and have had a little walk around, just to stretch my legs. Mark rang while I was driving, so I’ve just rung him back – told him I was out in the garden doing some weeding and didn’t have my phone with me. He’s no idea I’ve been anywhere, so don’t worry. I’ll speak to you soon, after Mark rings to say they’re home.’
‘Ok, Jenny – and thank you.’
‘You’re welcome. We’ll be fine, Anna. I promise you, we’ll be fine.’
She disconnected, and Anna went to the kitchen area to make herself a drink. She took her chair out on to the balcony and sat for half an hour, just watching the comings and goings five floors below her. She decided to get some pots for the balcony area and a little table, with a couple of chairs – this would be her garden. She felt a sense of security living so high up and coded entry to get into the apartments added to that.
Eventually, Anna began to feel cold and moved back inside. She was debating whether to risk driving out to a garden centre when her mobile phone rang again.
‘You’re safe to go out now, they’re home. And so am I.’ Jenny’s voice was a welcome sound.
‘Thank you. Good journey?’
‘No problems at all. I’m tired now, but I think that’s more emotional than physical. And I’m missing Mark. I’ve been thinking... I suggest you ring Mark today. I know he’s with Ray, but this will show Ray you’re out of the loop; you don’t know where anybody is. Make sure they don’t know we’ve been in contact and let them think it’s your decision you could be away for a short while, but it’s just to give you a break, and you’ll probably return soon. I think Mark will then convince Ray to let you come around in your own time. It will take away his need to find you, if he thinks you’re going to play the prodigal wife sometime soon.’
‘You’re right. I’ll do it later this evening. I’m going out now to buy some plants for the balcony.’
Jenny laughed out loud. ‘Anna, you’re priceless. You haven’t got a bed or a sofa, but you’re going to buy plants for the balcony. I love you, mother-in- law, I love you.’
‘And I love you, daughter- in- law. Take care, we’ll talk tomorrow. Don’t forget, Charlie is coming in the morning, so if you ring when she’s here, I may have to watch what I say. Night, sweet Jenny. Be good.’
They disconnected, and she went into the little bedroom to find the new telephone they had bought; she sat and read how it worked, then plugged it in and rang it to test it. Awesome. She decided not to leave her own voicemail message, but to use the automated sounding voice that came as standard with the phone. She texted Jenny the number, along with instructions to put it in her contacts as Mary, and to delete the text. Jenny confirmed she had done and then the new phone rang.
‘Testing!’ she said with a laugh, and she cut herself off.
Anna smiled and thought how like the earlier version of Jenny she was starting to sound. They could never go back to those days, but they could be friends again, provided Jenny refrained from killing her father-in-law.
Chapter 9
Monday, 16 March 2015
Day Eight
Monday was a strange sort of day.
Anna felt safe for the first time in a number of years. Ray was nowhere near her, and she had made certain of that by speaking to Mark first thing. Despite the circumstances and his clear allegiance to Ray, it had been lovely to talk to him. She explained to him she just needed time to be on her own for a while, and did he think his father would be okay with that? He seemed to think so, and actually told Ray while she was on the phone that a week or so away, and Anna would head back home. She heard Ray say, ‘Let me speak to her,’ but Mark stopped him. ‘She wants time out, Dad. Give her that.’
Ray grudgingly acquiesced, but then he shouted loud enough for her to hear, ‘Get yourself back here. And damn quick.’
Anna smiled to herself as she disconnected from Mark, because there would never be any chance of a return to that man, damn quick or otherwise. She had asked Mark how Jenny was, just to keep up the pretence, and he had just said her and the kids were fine.
&n
bsp; She then rang Jenny, but had to be careful because she could hear Adam and Grace in the background. She didn’t want them to know who was speaking to their Mummy, so they kept their conversation short. Anna said she would ring her again during the week and reminded her of Charlie’s visit.
‘Take care,’ Jenny said softly. ‘You’re safe for the moment.’
Charlie arrived a little after ten o’clock, and they hit the shops after she laughed at the camp site. She brought Anna a gift; a quilt of some magnificence in golds, silvers, creams, and pale greens.
‘This is for you and you alone,’ she said. ‘I’ve been working on it for a long time, and I knew you would like it. Now, all you need is a bed to put it on.’
They spent a lot of money in the morning, buying everything she could possibly need, and then went back home – Anna had very quickly come to think of it as home – to await the afternoon arrival of a washing machine, a fridge freezer, and two beds. The camp site in her lounge would have to continue for a while, but she would sleep better in an actual bed. The furniture shop had been very obliging with delivery when Anna explained she had been sleeping on an inflatable camp bed for three nights; the beds could be delivered immediately, the chairs and sofa would take a little longer.
Anna asked Charlie if she wanted to stay, but she had an early morning doctor’s appointment, so she left around eight o’clock. Anna felt quite bereft once she had gone. She’d always been able to talk to her, and maybe one day she would be able to tell her about this nightmare threatening to overwhelm her, but that time wasn’t yet.