by Anita Waller
Anna made her bed, with the lovely new bedding, and covered it partially with the quilt. It looked wonderful, and so her first real day came to an end. She went to bed.
Chapter 10
Tuesday, 17 March 2015
Day Nine
It was pouring with rain when Anna got up and the streets below her balcony looked slickly grey. Cars had headlights on, and she couldn’t decide what to do. Go out? Stay in? For the Irish population in Sheffield, St. Patrick’s Day was looking pretty grim.
Anna pulled the laptop towards her and sorted out the internet connection on it. She then did a bit more shopping, including a Waitrose home delivery shop and stayed on the internet for quite some time. She ordered a couple of books for her e-reader, several real books, and some DVDs to get her through what could be long hours of loneliness; all of this took her until lunchtime.
After lunch, Anna nipped out to the pet shop and bought her new friend, Eric the goldfish. He seemed to like his posh new home, so she fed him and left him to get on with living.
Her mobile phone rang. Ray. She felt so angry he had only lasted just over twenty-four hours; so much for giving her space. She ignored the call, and he didn’t leave a voice mail. Anna figured if it had been anything important, such as a problem with any of the kids, he would have left a message.
It did, however, serve to highlight the fact she hadn’t contacted Tim. Anna glanced at the clock and decided to wait a few more hours before ringing him. Time zones were so frustrating.
They had never visited Tim and Steve; Anna had deliberately chosen never to mention a visit, because she didn’t think their relationship with their son would withstand the fall out. Ray had hated how Tim shared his life with another man.
They were good together, Tim and Steve. They had met at work, both doing virtually the same job with an IT company. Anna had recognised the attraction as something more than friendship a long time before they had announced one night they were moving in together and would officially become partners. She had seen Ray in some foul moods, but that night, after they had left, he exploded. It was, apparently, all her fault Tim had turned out like that, and when she protested, he hit her.
Anna had taken a proper battering that night, but Caroline, although still living at home, saw nothing. He was careful that way – always made sure they were unobserved when he used his fists. The next morning, Anna told her daughter she had taken a tumble downstairs. It was the first time she had to seek medical help, and although there were raised eyebrows at the hospital, there was nothing on her file to suggest she was a victim of domestic abuse.
Anna had healed physically quite quickly but mentally she changed. She tried not to rock the boat at all, and gradually things settled down. It was partly because Caroline grew older, and they couldn’t insist she went to bed early so she would be rested for school next day, and partly because Anna herself switched off. Jenny seemed to have forgotten about them, and she felt with Tim’s departure to be with Steve, followed by Mark and Jenny’s plans to move to Leicester, she was becoming more and more on her own.
Anna sat on her camping chair and mused at how different things would have been, if Jenny had spoken up about what had happened with Ray. She understood her desire for revenge, but also understood how that in itself could be such a destructive thing. Anna tried to project her thoughts forward a year, to a time when she could be free of all of this, free to feel brave and not scared of her own shadow. She had made a start towards that, but it would take very little to send her tumbling back down that hole she had escaped from.
Anna actually started to feel a little concerned about the emptiness of her days. She had been used to being quite busy, running the administrative side of the business – she hoped the lads would get paid properly, but she doubted it – and the days were now long and full of very little! Anna needed something to do.
Anna thought about all the things she could do, such as knitting, crochet, reading, and baking cakes, and decided to set herself up with everything she would need for all of those activities.
She had a little chuckle, because her other love was football, but she didn’t somehow see herself buying a season ticket for Wednesday. And at her age, she was a little old for joining a team. Anna would have to content herself with watching it on television for the time being and again she projected her thoughts forward a year, as she dreamt of a brighter future.
So, once more, she went shopping. She bought lots of crafty stuff, all the time thinking about the glory of Charlie’s home that screamed handicrafts the minute you walked through the front door. She wanted to fill her home with handmade items, just as Charlie had.
Anna stacked the cupboard in the hallway with all the wool and other items she had bought and sat down in her camping chair with a coffee and a big vanilla slice. Since the Great Escape, she seemed to have eaten a lot of buns, and it briefly occurred to her visiting a Slimming World or Weightwatchers group might be an essential activity in the near future, to fill up a small part of her free time every week.
Anna had a mouthful of vanilla slice when her mobile phone rang. It was Tim.
‘Mom? Come to us.’
The tears started to roll down her face. ‘Tim – oh God, it’s lovely to hear from you. I was going to leave it another hour before ringing you. I have to explain...’
He interrupted. ‘You don’t have to explain anything. Have you enough money for a plane ticket? Come to us. There’s always a home here for you. A bolthole.’
The last two words hit her like a hammer blow. Tim knew. All the hiding of the bruises had been silly, Tim knew. Did Mark? Did Caroline?
‘Tim, I’m fine for money. I will come, but it won’t be yet. Maybe in six months or so, when my brain is back inside my head. I’m a bit all over the place at the moment.’
‘Fine. We’ll come to you.’
‘No! Honestly Tim, I am coping. I have Charlie and Dan supporting me, and I have a new home. And I’ve bought some wool.’ She burst into tears.
‘Mom! Don’t cry. We can be with you in two days, and we’ll sort out what you’re going to do, I promise.’
Through her tears and sniffles, she said, ‘You can’t come. You don’t know where I am. I can’t tell anyone. Not yet. I promise I will fly over and visit you. And stay for a while, until my brain stops hurting.’
‘And I want another promise,’ he said. ‘Promise me you won’t go back to him.’
‘That I can promise. If you speak to Mark, he will tell you I am just having some time on my own, and then I’m going back to your father, but that is something I’ve told him to get your father off my back. He will stop looking for me, if he thinks I’m going home anyway. I’m not, I assure you. I may be crying, but it’s not because I’m unhappy; it’s because I’m talking to you and you’re on my side. Keep my secret, Tim. Please.’
‘You don’t have to ask. I’ll ring again in a few days, but if you decide you just want to come, a phone call to say you’re on your way is enough. We have two spare rooms. Take your pick, Mom!’
She smiled at the slight American twang in his accent, said ‘Love you,’ and disconnected.
Anna pulled her purse out of her bag and took out the small photograph she always had tucked inside it. It was a picture of Mark and Tim, aged about twenty. As identical twins, many people couldn’t tell them apart, but she could. Anna stroked a finger across the picture and saw the sameness; the short, dark blonde hair, the bright blue eyes, the smiles. Tim’s face carried a tiny scar from a scooter handle, which had hit him when he was about ten, but the difference to her was more noticeable than that. Tim’s smile was genuine, Mark’s forced, and it had always been. Mark was the serious twin.
She felt so much better for having spoken to both of her sons. There was just Caroline now.
Chapter 11
Wednesday, 18 March 2015
Day Ten
Anna slept peacefully, and went over her conversation with Tim many times. She would go
to visit him, but she knew she couldn’t do it yet. Jenny was the worry in her mind constantly, and she couldn’t just escape to America without resolving problems. And a potentially psychopathic daughter-in-law was a problem.
Anna had absolutely no idea how to deal with Ray raping Jenny and fathering her firstborn. None of it seemed real, and yet, she knew it was. Anna could quite cheerfully murder him herself, and yet, wasn’t that exactly the attitude Jenny had adopted? Kill him! Get him out of our world!
She woke to the sound of the doorbell, followed by a banging on the door so loud, it frightened her. A glance at the clock told her it was only 7.05, and she knew Ray had found her. She huddled under the duvet and then the banging came again. ‘Hello! Is anyone in? Waitrose delivery for you.’
She laughed nervously and shouted, ‘Coming,’ while grabbing for her dressing gown.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she said to the very young man standing at the door. ‘I forgot I’d organised an early delivery.’ Anna didn’t bother tell him she’d forgotten the delivery altogether. She looked stupid enough standing there, with her hair all over the place, frantically trying to fasten her dressing gown. He didn’t need to know her brain cells seemed to be closing down at a fair rate of knots.
‘How did you get in?’
‘I had two deliveries for here, and the other lady hadn’t forgotten I was coming. She let me in.’ She felt suitably chastised, and he went on his way after she signed his machine.
Anna put the kettle on while she was stashing away the groceries, and finally, the fridge looked a little better. It had been very bare up to this point. She now had bacon and eggs, so decided to celebrate having food in the apartment by making a cooked breakfast. She was also partly celebrating the fact the oven and hob had come with the apartment, because they were built in to the rather smart kitchen – it was one thing she hadn’t had to buy!
It did make her smile that Ray would be cursing her not being there – he had no idea how to prepare food, but a little adversity in his life would soon teach him.
Jenny rang mid-morning to tell her Mark was now with her, and he clearly thought she would very shortly be with Ray. She sounded anxious. ‘Anna, you wouldn’t…?’
‘Don’t worry, Jenny. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, would ever make me go back to that man. He’s vile. I take it Mark has gone off to work?’
‘Yes. The strain’s gone now. He really does think it was a storm in a teacup.’
‘It’s a big teacup,’ Anna said drily. ‘I spoke to Tim yesterday. He’s totally supportive of me, doesn’t want me to go back to Ray, and wants me to go over to them in Florida. I’ve even got a choice of bedrooms apparently!’ She laughed and heard Jenny gasp.
‘But...’
‘Jenny! I’m not going yet. I told him I needed to sort my head out first, and then I’d go out for a break and to spend some time with them. It’s not going to be a permanent thing.’
‘You didn’t believe me,’ she said slowly.
‘Oh, I did believe you. You definitely wouldn’t have made something like that up. I could have told Ray what you’d said, could have told Mark – and would have done, if I hadn’t believed you. No, Jenny, I believe Ray did exactly what you said he did.’
‘I don’t mean believe me about that. You don’t believe I’m going to kill him.’
She couldn’t speak. She waited, and waited.
‘I am, Anna. With or without your support, Ray is dead. Why do you think I said don’t put a divorce in motion? You won’t need to. You’ll be moving back into Lindum Lodge, the business will be yours, and you’ll finally have some peace. I’ve half the plan in place, and will probably need an alibi, but dead he will be. No doubt.’
The finality in her voice echoed down the line.
‘Jenny, you can’t! We need to talk properly. I...’
Jenny interrupted. ‘Does he deserve to live, Anna? Does he? He’s beaten you many times, and if he could get his hands on you right now, you wouldn’t survive, I know you wouldn’t.’
‘Okay, stop right there. Do you realise what will happen? I don’t doubt you will find a way to kill him, but the police always look at immediate members of the family first, and you and I are pretty immediate. You’ll never see the children again, Mark will walk away for the sake of the children, and your life will be ruined. Don’t let Ray do that to you again.’
‘Right, I’ll start to explain. You will be in Sheffield. With an alibi. I will be in Sheffield with you, and you will be my alibi, along with whoever we decide can give the two of us an alibi. As I said, the plan is half sorted.’
‘I can’t believe we’re talking like this. This is stupid. We’re not murderers. We’re ordinary women, who are hitting a rough patch, and murder is not the obvious answer.’
‘It is,’ she said very quietly. ‘I’ll ring again tomorrow. Think further about this, and you’ll see I’m right. While that man lives, you aren’t safe. Love you, Anna, take care.’
‘Love you, too,’ Anna responded weakly, and disconnected.
*****
Caroline. Her beautiful daughter. In the first few days, she had called several times, as had Mark, but since then there had been silence from her. She was something of a pragmatist, and had probably accepted her mother wasn’t going to answer, so she would just sit back and wait for her to call.
Caroline knew Anna well enough to know she would call, and yet, as Anna stared at her mobile phone, she felt scared. She really didn’t know how she would be reacting to all this trouble befalling her beloved father, and Anna rather suspected she would be completely on his side, and she would be the Wicked Witch of the West. And North, South and East...
Anna felt sick. She looked at Caroline’s name in the contact’s list, pressed it, and almost immediately switched it off. She didn’t know what to say to her.
She pressed her name again, and this time let it ring.
There was no answer.
Was that deliberate? Or did she genuinely not know she’d called her? And then Caroline returned the call.
‘Sorry, Mum,’ she said breathlessly. ‘I was at the door when you rang. Have you gone back home yet?’
Anna laughed with relief. ‘Slow down, young lady. No, I haven’t gone ‘back home,’ as you put it. First thing’s first. Are you okay?’
‘I’m fine, just trying to keep Dad from hiring every private detective in the country to find you. But, I don’t think you want to be found, so for the moment he’s patiently waiting for your return. It won’t last forever though, Mum. He’ll get his own way, he always does.’
Anna was tempted to say, ‘Not this time he won’t,’ but instead said, ‘We’ll see, we’ll see.’
‘What do you mean?’ She sounded puzzled. ‘Surely...’
‘There’s no surely about anything, Caro; I’m taking time out to think about things.’
‘But, Mark said...’
‘I know what Mark said, but ultimately, it’s my decision what I do with my life, not Mark’s.’
‘Oh.’ Caroline sounded really perplexed now, and she was obviously trying to understand this strange woman who used to be her mother. Anna waited for her to continue, and she said, ‘Can we meet?’
‘Not yet, sweetheart. Your father may be struggling to understand what’s happened, but I need to understand it as well, and I can best do that on my own. Tim asked me to go to him, but I said no. Give me a few weeks, and I’ll meet up with you, but not at the moment.’
There was a long pause. ‘Mum – I wouldn’t tell Dad we were meeting.’
That was the moment Anna knew they hadn’t really fooled any of their children. All three knew exactly what was going on in their parents’ relationship, and she was beginning to see they all understood, to different degrees, exactly why she had left Ray. The exception was Jenny, who understood so much more.
‘I know you wouldn’t, sweetheart, but I still need more time to get over this break up. It wasn’t planned, you know, it was all d
own to the anniversary cards.’
She laughed. ‘That wouldn’t be the anniversary cards he burnt on the bonfire, would it?’
‘Sounds about right.’
‘Look, Mum, I’m going now. My taxi’s here, and I’m catching a train. Just ring when you can. I’m always here. Love you,’ and they disconnected.
Relief washed over her. She’d checked in with all the kids, and so far, so good. That worry was out of the way, but the one on the back burner was Jenny. She felt at a complete loss with that particular issue.
Issue.
Murder.
Chapter 12
Thursday, 19 March 2015
Day Eleven
The number showing on her mobile phone wasn’t one Anna recognised, and she almost ignored it. She hesitated and then pressed the answer button, prepared to tell them she didn’t want to claim PPI, didn’t want any new windows, and she certainly hadn’t had an accident two years earlier she hadn’t made a claim for. Unless the black eye and cut lip supposedly caused by walking into a cupboard door, which had been left open, counted as accidental.
It was Jenny.
Anna laughed and said, ‘Well, you nearly got an earful for being a PPI claim company.’
‘I’m not.’
‘I know. You got a new phone?’
‘Yes. There’s one in the post for you.’
‘I don’t need a new phone! I like this one...’
‘The one in the post is a number for use just between the two of us. I’ll tell you when you can throw it away. And I’m going to make a point of ringing you every week, at least once, on your usual number. One day, I will have to tell the family I know where you are, so we have to leave clear evidence of communication between us. This number is ours, Anna. Don’t give it to anyone else, not Charlie, not Dan, and especially not Mark, Tim, or Caroline.’