by Sadie Moss
“Didn’t I?” The man spun on her, stumbling slightly as he did. Was he drunk? Or maybe he was just a slovenly fucking asshole. “At least those ‘guests’ made an effort to blend in. At least they respected magic and tried to adopt our lifestyle. This man has none. He’s empty!”
Nicholas swung back toward Corin, whose face was a hard mask. Darting forward, I pushed between the two of them, coming nose to nose with Nicholas.
“Empty? I guess it’s better than being full of shit,” I ground out. “And what’s so wrong with being Blighted, anyway? You’re not making the Gifted look all that great right now, I gotta tell you.”
His lip curled. “What would you know about it, girl?”
“Plenty.” I raised my voice, anger making me reckless. “I was raised among the Blighted.”
The room went silent.
Or maybe it had already been that way, and I only noticed it now because Nicholas finally stopped talking.
He stared at me, jaw working like a cow chewing a particularly hefty bit of cud. His drooping eyelids blinked once. Twice. Then he turned slowly to look at my grandmother.
“This is your lineage?” His dark eyes swung back to me, malice glittering in their depths. “Some people should just stay dead.”
Without another word, he shoved past me, spit at Corin, and stalked out of the ballroom.
Whispers broke out among the crowd, and I turned to Corin as he wiped his face with the back of his sleeve.
“Oh my gods. Corin, I’m so sorry!”
“Don’t be.” His tone was dull. “I shouldn’t have come.”
“Are you kidding? He shouldn’t have—!”
Corin grabbed my forearm, cutting me off. He spoke quietly, his voice thick. “Don’t. Right or wrong, it is what it is. I’m just making your job harder by being here. I’ll go.” His face betrayed no expression, but I could feel the emotions raging inside him.
“No, that’s not—”
He pulled away from me before I could finish and walked toward the door, the guests stepping back to give him a wide berth as if he were diseased.
“Beatrice, what is the meaning of this?” Jonas Nocturne pushed his way to the front of the crowd gathered around us, followed closely by Chief Advisor Rain. I suppressed a growl of frustration. Could these people not back off for two godsdamned seconds?
“I’ll go after him. Make sure he’s safe,” Fenris murmured. Akio slipped away with him, and Jae stepped up beside me, taking my hand.
“The meaning of what?” My grandmother turned to Jonas with a tired look. I caught sight of Theron Stearns watching from a farther back in the crowd, but he didn’t join our small group.
The Minister of Justice caught her elbow, dipping his head to speak in a low voice. At least he wasn’t interested in putting on a show like so many of his colleagues were. “This freak show you’ve brought with you tonight. I thought your granddaughter would carry on the Lockwood line. I found her power impressive, and I was eager to see what she would bring to our court. But this… this harem she has built for herself of Touched and Blighted men is disgraceful.”
His gaze flicked to Jae as he spoke, then down to our joined hands. When he looked back at me, his green eyes were cold.
“You don’t know the full circumstances, Jonas,” Beatrice said. Her back was straight and her head held high, but the tall man still towered over her with a dominating presence. “I assure you, there is a reason for their connection.”
Jonas shook his head adamantly, glaring at me. The first few times I’d met him, it’d been easy to see he was a cold, calculating man, but he’d always treated me with careful deference. Apparently, now that he knew there was nothing to be gained by associating with me, that time was past.
“No.” His voice was hard. “I don’t care what reason there is. I won’t have it. Put a stop to this, Beatrice.”
With one last heavy look at her, he moved away, giving no further acknowledgment of Jae or me.
Conversation had slowly resumed around us, although many people still cast furtive glances our way before dipping their heads back down to speak in hushed voices.
Jae, Beatrice, and I stood in a large open space within the crowd, staring at each other in silence for a moment. No more Gifted officials approached us.
“Are all the palace functions this much fun?” I asked hollowly.
Beatrice sighed. “No, sweet girl. Most of them are actually quite pleasant.”
I whirled on her, the frustration that had been building in me since the beginning of this evening bursting forth like scalding steam from a boiling pot.
“You know why they’re pleasant? Because you all pretend that things like this”—I gestured between myself and Jae then to the door where the three other men had disappeared—“don’t happen! You pretend the Blighted aren’t suffering, the Touched aren’t basically living in service to you, and that you aren’t the cause of it all! You keep your world pristine and pretty, but you know what? You’re just covering up how fucking ugly it is.”
Dropping Jae’s hand, I stalked toward the door. I needed to find Corin right now and do something, anything, to make this right. The mage, at least, would be safe in the ballroom while I was gone. He was worthy.
Gritting my teeth at the thought, I passed through the large arched entryway to the ballroom, scanning the hall in both directions. I didn’t see Corin, Akio, or Fen, so I turned toward the palace entrance. My heels rang sharply against the slick marble floor, and I reached down, fumbling to take them off. Fuck it. I’d already made about the worst impression I possibly could’ve here, and I was well and truly done trying to impress these people. I didn’t even bother carrying my shoes with me, just left them abandoned on the floor as I lifted my skirts and walked faster.
A second set of footsteps echoed in the hall behind me, and I turned, expecting to see Jae. He wouldn’t want me out of his sight for too long, and he was probably as worried about Corin as I was.
It wasn’t Jae though. It was Beatrice.
She strode quickly toward me, looking smaller and older than she had in the ballroom just a few moments earlier.
“Lana, sweet girl, wait!” she called out softly.
I hesitated, tempted to ignore her and keep walking. But the look of sorrow in her shadowed gray eyes stopped me.
“What, Beatrice?”
“My child, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that would happen. But I should have suspected. Nicholas can be…. And if not him, then Victor….”
“Yeah. They’re assholes. Maybe you should have suspected.” I bit the words out, wishing the two men were here so I could unleash my fury on them. As stupid as it had been to start it, I was itching to finish my fight with Nicholas.
My grandmother reached me and took my arm, joining me as I walked down the hall. She didn’t even look twice at my bare feet.
“You have to understand. Your presence is upending everything they believe. The men your magic bonded you to—I’ve chosen to accept them, because I love you, and I see how they are a part of you. But others look at someone like your Corin and see—”
“Filth.” It hurt just to say it.
She closed her eyes for a moment. “Yes. There are many Gifted who still blame the Blighted for the Great Death.”
My stomach twisted, and I shot her a look. “Do you?”
Beatrice sighed. “I don’t think I ever did. Not truly, not logically. But I was angry, Lana. So angry. My entire family was taken from me in one fell swoop. My sister. My husband. My child and his lovely wife. My beautiful grandchild.” She glanced up at me, eyes bright and full of sadness. “I was angry that the Blighted didn’t have to suffer like we did. And I wanted someone to blame.”
I stopped walking, turning to her.
“If you don’t believe the Blighted truly caused the Great Death, then why do you let them be treated like this? Why allow them to be attacked and killed for years, and why let them be pushed out of city centers, forced to live on th
e scraps the Gifted throw away?”
“As I said, there are many here who do blame the Blighted. Many who would probably like to see a return to the time just after the Great Death, when the Gifted could abuse the Blighted with no fear of punishment.” She ran a frail, delicate hand across her forehead. “I have tried, Lana. I’ve tried to do right. Even before I knew you were out there, living in a Blighted camp somewhere, I tried to make life a bit better for them. But if I had known… oh, sweet child, I’m so sorry.”
She looked away, her face tight with grief, and I felt an overwhelming urge to hug her, to tell her everything would be okay.
But I didn’t, of course. Because it wouldn’t. Or at least, I couldn’t promise it would.
I pulled in a deep breath. “I believe you, Beatrice. And I guess I’m glad it’s been you on the council instead of another bigoted asshole like Nicholas or Victor. But can I ask you something? You say you tried to make life a little easier for the Blighted. But you still think you’re better than them, more deserving than them, don’t you? Just because you have magic and they don’t.”
She led us down a smaller, carpeted hallway as she considered her answer.
Finally, she sighed. “I don’t know, child. I don’t know what to think anymore. You’ve upended everything I thought I believed too, my dear. What you said the other day… I think about how much I missed you, how heartbroken I am that I couldn’t be there for you all these years. If I could have saved you from the harshness of the life you endured, I would have. And if I would save you, why not another Blighted girl just like you? As you said, everyone has someone who cares about them. Thinking of other mothers and grandmothers feeling the pain and worry I felt… I don’t know. I suppose you’re right. Our worries are the same whether we have magic or not.”
Hope bloomed in my chest as I listened to Beatrice speak.
I hadn’t fully changed her mind, but she seemed to at least be considering what I’d said. The once-theoretical suffering of the Blighted had just been made viscerally real for her, and I could see her grappling with the implications of that.
And if I could shift her perspective, maybe I could do the same for others here. So far, most of the Gifted I’d met at the palace confirmed my long-held perception of them. But maybe there were a few others here like my grandmother. Reasonable people who had been caught up in a system they didn’t truly believe in. Decent people blinded to the suffering of others by their own pain and anger.
I latched onto her wavering emotions and pushed harder.
“Beatrice—Grandma—I need your help. You said the Gifted have both privilege and responsibility. I think you’re right. I’m still learning what to do with all this fucking… er, all this privilege, but I know what I want to do with the responsibility. I want to make things better for everyone. I want to live up to the responsibility I’ve been given, but I can’t do it alone. I don’t know this world. I don’t know how to play politics or win people to my side. I don’t know who I can trust here. But I want to trust you.”
She nodded to a guard who passed us in the empty hallway, and then tugged me over to sit on a small bench in an alcove. The corners of her eyes creased with concern as she studied me intently.
“Lana, sweet girl, I see the fire burning in your eyes. You remind me of your father. When Dominic latched onto an idea, he wouldn’t let it go until he’d pursued it as far as he possibly could. But be careful, my dear. Some paths only lead to greater and greater danger.” She rested a hand on my knee, gazing up at the light glowing from the ornate sconce on the opposite wall. “I will do what I can to help you, but you have to know what you’re up against. There are many in the government who don’t want to see anything change. They will work hard to stop you.”
I furrowed my brow. “Do you think I’m in danger? Here? Even though I’m under your protection?”
“I don’t know, my dear,” she answered heavily. “You shouldn’t be. Your station and connection to me should be enough to keep you safe. But”—she glanced down the hallway, as if to make certain no one lingered nearby—“you’re right about the beauty of this place covering up some of its ugliness. There are people here who are little more than snakes in suits.”
A shiver of distaste passed up my spine. “Nicholas.”
The look on my grandmother’s face told me she didn’t hold him in much higher esteem than I did.
“Yes, Nicholas. I’ve never liked that man, but after tonight….” She shook her head, grimacing. “But there are others, more threatening perhaps, because they act more subtly. I know it’s hard for you to believe this, and I freely admit my efforts were not enough, but I have tried to improve life for the Blighted. But I’m just one voice on the council, and I’ve had to tread carefully to avoid making powerful enemies along the way.”
I scoffed. “But what could they do to you?” Then I turned to her, a bubble of fear rising in my chest. “Wait. You’re not in danger, are you?”
She smiled sadly. “I don’t like to think so. But I could be forced out if I caused too much trouble. Theron Stearns likes me, and I believe he would stand up for me. But I’ve begun to wonder if—”
A noise down the hallway made us both look up, and a moment later, Chief Advisor Rain stepped around a corner. When his eyes fell on the two of us, he hesitated, an odd expression passing over his face before his features cleared.
“Representative Lockwood, may I have a word with you? Alone?” He approached us stiffly.
Beatrice sighed, rising from the bench slowly. “As you wish, Rain. I can guess what this is about.” She turned back to me. “I had Tarik take your three friends home. I believe Jae is still in the ballroom. You and he can take the other car. I’ll use a transport spell to return home when I finish up here.”
I stood too, the marble floor cool under my bare feet. “Thank you, Grandma. Can we talk more later?”
“Of course, sweet girl,” she murmured. She shot a glance at Rain, who hovered a short distance away, tapping his fingers together impatiently. “There are things I must tell you. Things I’ve kept to myself for too long.”
My heart rate picked up at that. What did my grandmother know about each of the Representatives? I’d been shocked to hear her admit she worried for both my safety and her own. Maybe she could help me sort out who in the government might become an ally—and who couldn’t be trusted.
“Thank you, Grandma. Be safe.”
She took my face in her hands, thumbs swiping over my cheeks.
“You too, dear one. I just got you back. I don’t want to lose you again.”
Chapter 10
By the time I made my way back to the ballroom, the festivities had resumed as if nothing had ever happened. The fairies must’ve been instructed to ramp up their “feel good” magic and were out in full force, flitting among the crowd like butterflies spreading laughter and cheer.
The people clustered near the door fell into a hush when I walked under the archway into the expansive room.
“Oh, just fuck off,” I muttered under my breath, ignoring them all as I made a beeline for Jae. He was standing off to the side, and his eyes flicked up as I crossed toward him. There was a perimeter of empty space around him, just like there had been around the “enhanced” Blighted couple at the previous ball we’d attended. At that event, Jae had seemed well-known and generally liked. But here, he was obviously a pariah, and I wondered if that was because of his association with me and the other men, or because most of the people in attendance tonight were friends of his father.
Either way, the crowd kept their distance as he walked forward to meet me halfway. With no thought, my hand slipped into his, the cool touch of his palm and the strength of his long fingers soothing me.
“You ready to get out of here?” I asked.
“Fuck yes.”
My eyes widened. It was the first time I could ever remember Jae cursing, and although he spoke low, the vehemence in his voice startled me.
App
arently, even stoic and calm mages had their limits.
I squeezed his hand tighter as we walked out of the room, ignoring the hushed whispers that trailed in our wake.
Tarik was waiting for us outside, and he glanced back as Jae held the car door open for me. His green hair was shoulder length and shaggy, and he had the distinctive facial features of a fairy—a sharp nose, eyes just a little too big to look human, and irises the same brilliant color as his hair. He smiled at me, and I felt tension drain from my body.
We were silent on the ride back to Beatrice’s place. I needed to tell Jae about my conversation with my grandmother, my hopes that she could become an ally in this place, and her distrust of the other Representatives. But exhaustion weighed on me, and worry for Corin twisted in my gut. Even though distance separated us, I swore I could still feel an echo of his emotions, and they churned in my stomach along with my own until I was nearly sick.
Finally, Tarik pulled the car around the circular drive, past the enchanted fountain where drops of water shaped like fish leapt from the rippling surface and then plunged back in to become one with the fountain’s pool again.
I let us into my grandmother’s house. Warm light filtered into the foyer from the sitting room, and I dashed around the corner. “Corin?”
Fenris looked up from where he sat on the couch. Akio lounged in a large chair nearby, his eyes almost black in the dim light.
“He’s outside,” Fen said sadly. “Said he wanted some time alone.”
My eyes met Jae’s. He gave my hand a squeeze before he let go, saying, “If he wants to see any one of us right now, it’s you.”
I gave him a grateful smile then darted down the hall to the back of the mansion, bare feet nearly silent on the hardwood. The stones of the pathway outside dug into my soles as I wended my way away from the house into the sprawling garden. Soft yellow lights glowed along the path every few feet, but otherwise the garden was lit only by the moon.