by Sadie Moss
“Corin?” I called softly into the darkness.
No response.
I walked quickly through the garden, and when I reached the end with no sight of him, I cut toward another part of the manicured yard that was empty except for a few large willow trees. Their hanging boughs nearly obscured their trunks, making the area underneath them almost pitch black. Lifting a hand, I generated a small ball of flame above my palm to see by. It wasn’t the same as the ball of light Jae had created in the dark tunnel at the Resistance—he hadn’t taught me that spell yet—but it would work just fine as long as I didn’t accidentally set a tree on fire.
But as I approached the first willow, I realized I hardly needed the light.
I could feel him.
Veering away from the tree I had been headed for, I walked quickly toward another larger one several yards away. The tips of its long, drooping boughs nearly brushed the ground, and I pushed them aside, careful to keep them well away from my magical fire. The light of my orange flame filled the protected space under the tree, and the sight that greeted me broke my heart.
Corin sat with his back against the trunk, knees pulled up to his chest and elbows braced against them, head hung low. He’d taken off his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt to his elbows.
“Corin?”
He didn’t look up, so I crept forward slowly, easing down to the ground next to him. I held my small fireball away from my body, its flickering light making shadows dance around us.
We sat in silence for a moment, and then Corin slowly lifted his head. “Is everyone back?”
I looked over at him. His eyes were dull and blank.
“Yeah. Well, all except Beatrice. The guys are in the house.” My throat tightened. “Corin, I’m so sorry about tonight.”
He lifted one shoulder. “I’ve been called worse.”
I snorted. “So have I. That doesn’t make it okay.”
The flame in my hand was becoming unwieldy. I wanted to get closer to Corin but didn’t want to risk hurting him, so I extinguished the ball of fire above my palm. My eyes hadn’t adjusted to the darkness yet, and I could barely make out his silhouette as I turned to him, resting my hand on his forearm.
“Do you have any idea how fucked up it is to envy the people you hate?” Corin’s voice was rough. “I’ve always been proud of who I am, of what I can do. But tonight, I would’ve given anything to have magic. To be able to stand up and fight him. To defend myself. To defend you. I hated myself tonight, even more than I hated that asshole Nicholas.”
My heart thudded painfully in my chest. I crawled up onto my knees, kneeling in front of him so I could face him fully. “Don’t say that. Please, don’t.”
“It’s true, Lana. I’ve told you for as long as I’ve known you that I’ll always have your back. But I don’t know how to do that here. I can’t keep you safe the way I want to. I can’t take care of you. Godsdamn it, I’m fucking useless.”
He broke off with a choked sound and dropped his head again. I stroked his short, sandy blond hair, trying to soothe him with my touch.
When he spoke again, his voice was barely a whisper.
“I let them die.”
I leaned my head in, not sure I’d heard him right. “What? Who?”
He looked up, eyes meeting mine. “My… family. I let them die.”
My skin went cold.
I knew his family had been killed by a Gifted lynch mob after the Great Death, but I’d never pressed him for more details than that. Some things weren’t worth reliving.
He went on, his voice slow and halting, as if the weight of his memories dragged on his tongue.
“I was six. We had a farm in the country, and only a few magic users lived there. Some of them got sick and died, but my parents didn’t realize how bad it was at first, how widespread. I didn’t have any idea what was going on, not really. I was just a kid. But I knew there was something dangerous out there. One afternoon, I was playing by the little stream out back, and I heard screams and yells from down the road. I ran back to the house and told my mom. She didn’t say anything, just stared at me for a second. Her eyes got so big, her pupils blasted out until they looked black. I’ll never, ever forget that look.”
Heart cracking, I gripped both of his hands in mine, trying to lend him some of my strength as he continued.
“She called for my dad, and he and my brother Marcus came running. Marcus was older than me, and bigger. He was sixteen and was already allowed to help with the heavy farm equipment. They said I could someday, when I was old enough, but….” He swallowed. “Marcus left and came back with pitchforks, shovels, a knife. He gave me the knife, and my mother took me down into the cellar. I didn’t understand what was happening. I thought they were coming with me.”
A harsh sob burst from his throat, and he dropped his head again. I rested my forehead against his knees, the tops of our heads touching, our hands joined as if in silent prayer.
After a moment, he went on, his voice thick.
“But they didn’t come with me. My mother slipped back upstairs and locked the cellar door. There was a crash, and then loud, angry voices I didn’t recognize, and then… screams. I hid in the cellar, clutching a kitchen knife, while my family was killed. I let them die.”
Dropping his hands, I grasped both sides of his face, forcing him to meet my eyes. “That’s not true! That’s not fucking true, Corin, and you know it. You were a kid. A little boy. They were attacked by a Gifted mob; they never stood a chance. You couldn’t have saved them.”
Tears glinted in his eyes as he nodded, his nostrils flaring. “You’re probably right. But I wish, and I will keep wishing until the day I die, that I’d tried.”
The raw truth in his voice broke my heart. I thought I’d known everything about Corin after our years together in Wyoming, but he had never let me in on this crushing burden of guilt he carried.
No wonder it broke his heart so badly when I snuck away. I’d been yet another person he loved who left him behind to protect him.
He drew in a sharp breath. “Having you here, surrounded by the fucking Gifted, it’s been making me crazy with worry. I thought it would be better once we came to stay with you and Beatrice, but even when I’m right here, I can’t keep you safe. Jae, Akio, Fenris—they can. They can teach you and protect you. I can’t do either.”
My hand shook as I reached over to wipe the tears off his cheeks with my thumbs, still cradling his face in my palms.
“You do teach me, Corin. You teach me how to be better. I’m so sorry about your family, but I’m not sorry your mom loved you enough to save your life. She wanted you to live so you could keep spreading your goodness in the world. And I’m so glad my path in life led me to you. I need you. You anchor me.”
“Right. You need my humanity to anchor your magic through the bond.”
Bitterness tinged his voice, and he tried to look away, but I tightened my grip, clutching him as though he might disappear if I let go.
“No! I need you. Fuck magic. Fuck the Gifted. Fuck the bond. I need you, Corin. You’re the person I look to for guidance on how I should treat other people. The person whose moral compass I trust most in this world. One of the kindest, sweetest, most protective men I know. And just because you don’t have magic doesn’t mean you can’t keep me safe. Hell, you’ve already saved my life more than once. I. Need. You. Just the way you are.”
Corin’s breath hitched, and he caught my hands, pulling them roughly away from his face in a tight grip.
For a moment, he just stared at me, his chest rising and falling rapidly.
I could see the warring emotions passing over his face. He didn’t want to believe me. He wanted to keep living in the lie that told him he was no good to anyone, that the Gifted were better than the Blighted somehow, that he was the weak link in our team.
But I wouldn’t let him.
“I love you, Corin,” I said, speaking past the lump in my throat. “
I’ve loved you since I was fifteen. I loved you the eight years we were apart, and I love you now more than I ever thought possible.”
He blinked once, the glint of his eyes in the darkness disappearing for a second.
Then a strangled noise spilled from his throat, and he pulled me toward him, kissing me desperately.
Chapter 11
This kiss was a homecoming.
Reveling in the familiar feel of his lips against mine, I breathed a sigh into his mouth—a sigh I’d kept pent up inside for eight years.
He leaned forward, rising up on his knees and pulling my body flush against his, our lips still connected in a kiss I wanted to drown in. Warmth flooded me from the roots of my hair to the tips of my fingers and toes, and if I’d been standing, my legs would’ve given out.
“I love you, Lana,” he breathed against my lips. “I always have.”
His mouth trailed across my jaw, down my throat to my collarbone, passing over the quartz necklace he had given me so many years ago. I tilted my head back to give him better access. Only a single star was visible through the canopy of leaves above us, and it gleamed like a diamond in the darkness.
Corin let out a soft groan of satisfaction when he tasted the skin of my neck, brushing the sleeves of my dress down so he could place open-mouthed kisses along my shoulders. Goose bumps broke out along my skin as his movements shifted from desperate to deliberate, then from deliberate to savoring.
I had him back.
I had my Corin back, and this time I was never letting him go.
Dropping backward onto the soft grass, I pulled him down with me, kicking the soft fabric of my skirt out of the way so I could wrap my legs around his waist. The hard length of him pressed against my core, sending sparks flaring through me.
His mouth met mine again, our lips teasing, exploring, rediscovering each other. He kissed me in soft pecks and nips until I couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed the back of his head, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss, sweeping my tongue inside his mouth as my other hand roamed his back, desperately trying to find a way to get his shirt off without breaking any of our contact.
My one-handed attempt at undressing him wasn’t very successful, but I did manage to untuck his shirt from his pants, running my fingers up the bare skin of his back, nails grazing his warm flesh. He pressed back into my touch like a cat, pulling away from me just long enough to sit up and unbutton his shirt.
In the darkness under the tree, only his silhouette was visible, but I didn’t need to see to appreciate the fine lines of his body. I reached up, tracing my fingers over the muscles of his stomach, up to the light dusting of hair on his chest.
He stayed still, letting my wandering hands rediscover his body. It held the familiar shape of Corin, but it was different somehow too. Stronger and harder. More powerful. There were no more lingering traces of the boy I once knew—this Corin was all man.
His breath came faster as my hands became greedier, sliding over the strong muscles of his chest and brushing his nipples. I ran my palms down his arms, feeling the power in his biceps, the thick cords of muscle in his forearms. When I reached his hands, I laced our fingers together, the rough callouses on his palms sending little shocks of pleasure through me.
I gave a tug, and he complied willingly, swooping back down to capture my mouth with his again. Our joined hands rested on the grass above my head as Corin braced his body over mine, moving gently against me as he dipped his tongue into my mouth over and over.
Desperate to increase the pressure and unable to use my hands to draw him closer, I twined my legs tighter around him, pressing into his ass with my heels as I raised my hips to meet his.
He tore his lips from mine, his eyes like endless dark blue pools as he gazed down at me breathlessly.
“Fuck. I missed you so much, Lana.”
I nodded, biting my swollen bottom lip. I wasn’t sure if I could speak without crying. And I didn’t want to cry. I wanted to keep doing what we were doing—erasing all the time we’d lost, finding each other again under a tree that might as well be a million miles away from another living being.
Corin used one finger to tug my lip free of my teeth then brushed the pad of his thumb over the swell of my lips, gazing at them intensely. He leaned down to kiss me again, and we rolled over until I was draped on top of him.
He reached around to the back of my dress, pulling the zipper down slowly. When he reached the end, he slid his hand through the newly created opening in the fabric, skimming his palm over the swell of my ass before pulling me closer to him. We both groaned as his cock pressed against me, and he repeated the action several more times, pulling me closer each time, his hard length grinding into me until I was panting.
I sat up, slipping my arms out of the cap sleeves of my dress and letting the fabric pool around my waist. Corin’s breath hitched as he looked up at me. He palmed one of my breasts, running a thumb over my peaked nipple, then sat up suddenly to take it in his mouth.
“Corin!”
The word was half gasp, half plea. I wasn’t even sure what I was begging for, but apparently he did. He switched his attention to my other nipple, gliding his tongue around it with gentle pressure as his hand slid up through the back of my hair, supporting me as I arched into his touch.
“I want you, Lana.” He whispered the words as he trailed his mouth back up to my mine, tasting the skin of my breasts and neck with warm, wet kisses along the way.
“I thought you had me,” I murmured, a small smile quirking my lips as I looked down at him.
“Do I?” With his arms wrapped around me, Corin pulled back for a moment to gaze intently at me.
I nodded, swallowing the tears that wanted to come. “You always have.”
The words had barely passed my lips when Corin moved like lightning, flipping me onto my back again. My dress had gathered around my middle, and I lifted my hips to help him work it down my body, the grass underneath us cooling my heated skin. He tugged the fabric free of my legs, and I was vaguely aware of him kicking off the rest of his clothes before his hands were on me again. His palms slid up my calves, fingertips massaging the muscles lightly, and I drew in deep breaths to ride out the sensations ricocheting through me.
Corin lowered his head and kissed the inside of my knee, and a sound that started as a cry and turned into a groan burst from my lips. I needed more, needed him.
But he seemed determined to draw this out, extending the delicious torture as long as possible. My fingers dug into the soft grass around me, searching for purchase as Corin continued moving up my body with torturous deliberation. He carefully unclasped my dagger sheaths, setting them aside and kissing the exposed flesh they’d once covered. His hands slid along the outsides of my thighs to grip my hips as his teeth and lips worked their way slowly up my legs, alternating sides and making me squirm with impatience.
My breath came in sharp gasps as he reached the apex of my thighs, the mere thought of the man hovering above me making tremors course through my body.
It had been too long.
I had missed this too much.
He moved his head an inch higher, his hot breath teasing my core, and that was all it took to undo me. I couldn’t bear it anymore. Pleasure exploded through me, and I grabbed his head, hooking handfuls of his hair to pull his face toward mine.
He didn’t hesitate. His lips met mine in a fiery kiss, cutting off my loud cry as his cock slid into me, the sudden exquisite fullness prolonging my release. He stilled inside me, and I fluttered around him, my body still tensing and contracting.
An agonized groan rumbled in his chest.
“Is that your way of welcoming me home?” he asked, his voice thick. “Because I think I like it.”
I snorted, running my fingers over his back as I tried to catch my breath.
Corin looked down at me, unmoving, as if he couldn’t bear to let this moment end. I wasn’t in any hurry to let it go either, and as I looked up at him, trai
torous tears seeped out of the corners of my eyes, sliding down the sides of my face into the tangle of my hair.
The feel of him above me, inside me, was perfection.
I had missed this so much.
I didn’t think he could see my tears in the darkness, but he surprised me by kissing away the wet tracks at my temples with warm, soft lips.
Finally, he began to move, pulling back before sliding into me again. Each time he filled me, I was overwhelmed by the sensation of completeness, of perfect fullness, as if our bodies were always meant to be joined this way. Corin’s bare chest brushed my breasts with every stroke, the feel of his skin against mine sparking a new flame everywhere we touched.
His thrusts became deeper, more powerful, and we kept trying to kiss, fighting the motion of our bodies to keep our lips connected. His teeth nipped at me, and his harsh breaths filled my ears as his body strained above me.
“Gods, Lana. I remember this. I remember you like this.”
The tension in his voice matched the tension building inside me like a taut band ready to snap. I chased the feeling, wanting to crash over that cliff again at the same time I never wanted this to end.
And then I had no choice.
The waves of pleasure washing through my body peaked, becoming a torrent of feeling. Like leaping off a cliff, it was too late to change course, and I flew into oblivion, crying out Corin’s name as I clung to him.
“Oh, gods. Lana!”
He drove forward one more time and stilled, his body shaking as he pulsed inside me. Aftershocks quaked through us both as we clung to each other in the darkness, our bodies still joined, our breaths and heartbeats mingling in a discordant rhythm. Finally, Corin lifted up onto his forearms, smoothing my sweat-dampened hair back from my face as he looked down at me.
There was a peacefulness in his expression I hadn’t seen in a long time, and a shiver of happiness ran through me.
When he pulled out, my body protested the loss immediately, craving our contact like it would crave water in the desert. He flung his hand out, groping around in the darkness for something, then finally grasped his suit jacket and laid it out next to us. He rolled over onto it, pulling me with him until I was draped half over his body, my head resting on his chest as his arms wrapped around me. He arranged his white shirt over us, tucking it around me protectively to keep out the chill in the air.