by Lisa Olsen
“Anja, I can’t be what you need,” he started to protest, but I cut him off.
“You’re everything I need. And I want a chance at a life with you. Is that something you want too? Tell me now if I’m off base here, because I thought that was something we both wanted.”
Rob’s eyes clenched tight, his jaw working and for a second, I thought he was searching for a way to tell me I wasn’t worth the trouble. But when they opened again, they were filled with equal parts hope and despair. “I want that too, more than anything in this world. But I can’t risk you or Leila…” He shook his head.
“She knew we’d come to this,” I realized suddenly. “Don’t you remember? What did she say? Something about not worrying about her – when the time came, trouble wouldn’t be coming after her. Don’t you see? She saw this coming, she knew we’d be at a crossroads and she wanted us to take the plunge.”
Rob was silent, but I could see him thinking his way through it methodically. “I’m not saying yes, and I’m not saying no. This kind of thing ain’t the sort you should rush into, careful planning needs to happen.”
“I can do that, I’m a great planner,” I chimed in, doing a happy dance on the inside that he was even considering it.
“Don’t do anything yet, alright? Let me figure this out. Might could find a way to work it.”
“We can make it work, I know we can,” I whispered fervently, giving him a last, desperate kiss. “I’d better go hop into a quick shower and get ready for him. He can tell if I’ve been getting all tingly over you.” I rolled my eyes. “We’ll come back to this though, tonight when I get back? Maggie and those guys should be gone for hours.”
“Will they now?” He raised a single brow.
“Hours,” I promised with a smile. Suddenly the prospect of seeing Jakob didn’t seem so bad when I had something to look forward to.
*
I’m such an idiot.
It didn’t start out well. Jakob waved Rob off when he offered to drive for us, telling him he had things in hand with a smarmy look. Eewh.
As soon as we got into the limo, he cornered me, a gleam in his eye. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?” he demanded, sending me into a cold sweat as I scrambled to figure out what he could possibly mean by that. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good.
“What?”
“Where you disappeared to when you took Amunet hunting. My Anja has a taste for rough trade,” he chuckled, and I breathed an inward sigh of relief.
“Not exactly, I thought it would appeal to her.”
“And yet you knew exactly where to take her.” I opened my mouth to explain, but he waved me away. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind at all. In fact, I find it a delicious addition to what I’ve come to expect for you, beloved. Would you like a taste of something rough tonight?”
So he was turned on by the fact that I’d taken Amunet to a dive bar? Cool beans. “Couldn’t we go somewhere for a drink instead?”
“Indeed,” he smiled, patting my knee.
Only the limo didn’t go to one of the clubs as I’d grown accustomed to, instead it pulled up right in front of his place.
“I thought we were going out for a drink?”
“I will see to your needs, petal. Tonight you will take my blood.”
Alarms started pealing in my head like mad. “Thanks, but I’m good. I don’t need to feed.”
“Come upstairs, unless you prefer to do this here in the car?” His smile stretched wider. “As I recall it, you have tasted my blood in a vehicle such as this before. I would certainly be open to a return to such intimacy.”
There was no way on Earth I’d end up having sex with him in the back of a limo again. No frigging way. “No, we can go inside,” I said, reaching for the door handle. I had no intention of drinking his blood that night, and I needed a few minutes to figure out how to get out of it.
Once we were alone and I felt like I could speak more freely, I turned to him – with a couch safely between us. “How come you’re so big on me taking your blood tonight? We never talked about this in our original deal.”
“Because I wish it, and because you need the strength.”
I hadn’t expected him to say that. “Why? I’m fine.”
“I would have you as strong as possible, petal.” He poured us each a drink and came around the couch, eliminating the barrier between us. “And I am not asking. It is for your own protection.”
Something was definitely up. “Answer something for me,” I said, accepting the glass, but not drinking. “Why are you so gung ho on protecting me?”
“That’s a silly question.”
“I don’t think so. I think it’s pretty appropriate.”
“Because I love you, älskling.”
“Okay, I get that, but why the need for so much precaution? It’s not enough that I have Rob and Gunnar stuck to me like glue every waking moment, I have to have an entire regiment of guards around me whenever I show my face in public? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I can actually defend myself. I took out Angel in a fair fight, and I’ve even dropped Bishop and Rob a time or two.”
Jakob’s expression darkened as he stared into the bottom of his glass. “There are some dangers you know nothing of.”
“So tell me about them,” I pleaded, taking the glass out of his hands and setting them both down. “If there is some big bad out there waiting in the shadows, ignorance only gives it power.”
For a split second I thought he might actually tell me what had him acting so crazed, but then his stubbornness kicked in with a vengeance. “Enough. You will have my blood now,” he said, grabbing my shoulders roughly and tumbling me onto the couch.
I pushed back with all of my strength, but it didn’t so much as budge him an inch as he pulled me close. “Jakob, I really don’t want to do this.”
“Leave off the pretty protests, you will do this for me.”
“Fine, then put some of your blood into a cup and I’ll drink it, but I’m not feeding from you directly.”
Jakob set me onto his lap and then stopped to look at me. “What is it that troubles you in this?”
“I don’t want to um, you know… I’m not ready to take our relationship to the next level yet.”
“You may find that changing once you taste my blood,” he smiled.
That’s exactly what I was afraid of. “Jakob, please, I don’t think I can do this.”
His blue eyes met mine and I felt the magnitude of his power. “You can, and you will.”
Robbed of my free will, I nodded, in a daze as I unbuttoned his shirt, folding the fabric away from his neck. My fangs descended, the urge to bite him overpowering any feeble protests that cowered in the back of my mind and I lunged for his throat. His pure essence burst against my palate in a rush of hot blood, my throat working to keep up with the rhythm of his heart that pumped madly.
It wasn’t enough. I wanted everything he had to give and more. My hands wandered as I drank, sliding against bare skin, desperate for more contact. Jakob’s arms bound me to him, his head thrown back in ecstasy as I drank and drank. His blood made me dizzy and reckless. It filled me with power as I straddled him, more power than I had a right to feel. Jakob held me under his sway, but just as surely I held him under mine. With a rasp of nails and a pivot of my hips I made him shudder with delight and his hands started to roam, intent on giving me the same pleasure.
It was all wrong.
His intimate touch had the opposite effect on me, filling me with such a sense of revulsion at the invasion, it was enough for me to tear my mouth away from the temptation of his blood. He’d compelled me to drink from him, and I had. But he hadn’t compelled me to do anything more, and my own natural disgust was strong enough to combat the side effects of the blood.
“That’s enough,” I breathed, squirming out of his grasp. Jakob held tight to me, attempting to bring my lips back to his neck.
“Don’t stop, beloved,” he pleaded, but that mad
e me feel even more repulsed.
“I can’t believe you did that to me,” I spat out, swiping at my mouth with the back of my hand. “You promised you wouldn’t compel me to do anything I didn’t want to.”
“It was for your own good.” There was no remorse in his voice, only disappointment that the spell had been broken. But I used his relaxed state to pull completely free, lurching to my feet, legs unsteady as they carried me to the other side of the room.
“Whatever helps you sleep.” His blood still thrummed through my veins, filling me with a nervous energy, like I’d had too many shots of espresso on an empty stomach. “You had no right to take advantage of me like that.”
“I felt your enjoyment, if only you would relax and trust in me…”
Trust in him? Did he not understand the meaning of the word? “Take me home.”
“You are home.”
“I mean it, Jakob. I want to go home now.”
“Älskling…”
“Don’t call me that, I’m not your beloved. I’m nothing but a puppet on a string to you.”
“You are not a puppet to me, you don’t understand all I’ve sacrificed for you,” he scowled.
“And you’re not listening to me. Take me home or I’ll walk there myself.”
“Fine,” he relented, pushing himself up to his feet. “I’ll take you now.”
“You don’t have to come with me, I can make it there in your limo just fine.”
“I will see you safely home.”
I didn’t argue as long as he did as I asked. Neither of us spoke for the ride home and I think maybe, he’d started to realize the error of his ways. Then again, maybe he was planning his next attempt to control me, anything was possible. Still, his words when the limo came to a stop gave me hope.
“I only want your continued health and happiness,” he said, holding onto my hand.
“Then you should take a good hard look at your methods,” I replied, tugging myself free. “Goodnight, Jakob.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
I couldn’t meet Rob’s eyes when I got home. Far more uncomfortable than I’d been leaving Bishop’s apartment, I went straight for my room and took a long hot shower, trying to wash away the vestiges of Jakob’s touch. Emerging cleaner, but no less upset over my actions, I slipped on a satiny pink robe, stopping in the bathroom door as I spotted a large square box on the bed, wrapped in red ribbon.
Inside the box was a worn, portable record player, the kind that came in its own small suitcase. There was a smaller box wedged in alongside it with a stack of old forty-fives with music going all the way back to the thirties. I thumbed through them, reading off hits by Billie Holliday, Doris Day, Frank Sinatra. These were Rob’s records. Aw, he’d given me an old school version of a mix tape!
Fast losing my doldrums, I plugged the machine in and selected one of the records I’d heard him play before. Nina Simone came over the scratchy speaker singing You Don’t Know What Love Is. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, listening to her sing the blues before I went in search of the man who’d left the gift for me.
I found him sitting on the end of his bed, suit coat and tie next to him, easing off his suspenders.
“Hi there,” I smiled. “Do I have you to thank for that?” My head tipped toward my bedroom where Nina sang on.
“Thought you might like it. Was just gathering dust here.”
That wasn’t strictly true, I’d heard him use it before. “It’s not my birthday yet though.”
“Seemed like a bit of cheering was wanted, yeah?”
“Uh huh,” I agreed. Big time. “Thank you, I love it.”
A smile nudged one corner of his mouth higher. “At least you won’t be as likely to lose this one.”
Just like that my enthusiasm soured. “I know, I didn’t mean to lose your necklace. I’ve torn apart everything I brought back with me from England, but I can’t find it anywhere.”
“Did you look here?” he asked, dangling the silver locket from his fingers and my jaw dropped.
“Where did you get that?”
“Bishop returned it to me after the Order gave back what they confiscated.”
“Ah, so that’s how he guessed. Is it still mine?”
“What do you think?” Rob smirked, stepping behind me to fasten it around my neck, leaning in to kiss my neck when he was done. “There, back where it belongs,” he rumbled, fingers boldly brushing along the tops of my shoulders, down to reach for my hand. “Dance with me.”
It was like that shared dream, but not. This was a Rob who was emboldened by our state of privacy, but softer, less driven by the need to control things. I went to him, my cheek against his shoulder in my bare feet, relishing the feel of his strong arms around me as we moved together to the soulful music.
As much as I savored that perfect time together, I had to get something off my chest. “There’s something I should tell you, about tonight with Jakob.”
“I don’t want to know.”
But I needed him to. “He compelled me to drink his blood. He said it was for my protection. Do you have any idea why he might do that?”
“He wants to keep you safe.” Rob shrugged. “His blood will make you stronger, as it’s done for my family over the years.”
“Will my blood make you stronger?”
“Not as strong as his, but yes.”
“Will it keep you with me forever?”
“No, not forever, but for a good long time.”
That was good enough for me at the time. Some day we might get to the question over whether or not he might consider joining the vampire club, but not yet. For the moment, it was enough to be together, and I definitely preferred him alive. We danced until the song ran out and started again, the record set for repeat.
“I didn’t sleep with him.” I thought it needed saying, and I felt his arms tighten perceptibly around me. “He wanted me to, but…”
“Shhh… just dance with me.” His mouth covered mine, effectively silencing me as he danced me backwards, his foot kicking out to shut the door behind us as we reached my bedroom. I heard the lock turn and then his arm was around me again, guiding me to the bed.
“I thought you wanted to dance?” I asked, as he carried me the last few feet, depositing me on top of the covers.
“Too right we’ll dance,” he said, his voice full of promise as he moved the stack of records and empty boxes to a nearby chair. I rolled onto my hip to watch him undress, admiring the play of muscles as he slipped off his shirt.
“I like the suspenders,” I said, as he worked off the pants next. “Very retro.”
“Button’s come off my pants, needed a bit of assistance,” he shrugged.
“Ah, well, if you’re in need of assistance with your pants… I’m happy to help you,” I smiled, pulling at the waistband of his boxers, tumbling him onto the bed next to me. Rob recovered swiftly enough, bracing himself up on one arm to look down at me.
“I didn’t think we’d ever find our way here again.”
“That’s part of what I love about you, your cheery optimism,” I snorted, but he didn’t lose the serious expression on his face.
“I ain’t joking. I never thought you was for me.”
I took hold of his face with both hands, bringing it down to kiss the wrinkle of worry between his brows. “I’m yours in every way that matters,” I whispered. “If you need convincing, I’d be happy to show you.”
His fingers loosened the knot of my robe, reaching inside to splay over my cool skin. “How’s about we show each other?” How could I say no to that?
“You can drink if you want to,” he offered when I found my way to his neck.
I laved my tongue over the throb of his pulse. “No, I don’t need anything but you, not even your blood. Unless you need some of mine?” I tried to work out how long it’d been since he’d tasted Jakob’s blood back in Vetis, but it was hard to think when he touched me like that.
“I don’t need nothing
else but you in my arms.”
Who would’ve guessed he was a romantic? “Where I belong,” I grinned back at him, giggling as he rolled us, landing squarely on top of me.
“Try not to be too loud, yeah? We got people right outside, they’ll think you’re being murdered in your bed, you sing out like last time.”
“You have my permission to muffle my mouth with anything you want if you think I’m getting to be too noisy.”
“Is that a fact?” He cocked a brow at me, a corresponding twitch from below letting me know he was very interested in the idea. “Could call for a fair bit of contortion, but I’m game.”
“Though to be fair, it seems like I could make all the noise I want. Who’s to say I’m not in here by myself, having a little private Anja happy time while everyone’s away.”
“Is that a thing you do often?” The cocked eyebrow grew more pronounced and I lowered my voice to a throaty purr.
“Only when I’m thinking about you.”
“The things you say.” Rob gave me a last hungry look before he fell to kissing my neck, nibbling and tasting, hands busy. This was nothing like private Anja happy time, his touch was far more exciting than anything I could’ve managed on my own, active imagination or not.
Each sensation he wrung from me was crisper and sharper than the shared dream. There was an added spice in trying to keep quiet, a particular thrill going through me whenever he swore against my skin or bit back a groan of pleasure. I did my best to memorize the taste of him, his scent, the crisp hair on his chest that tickled my nose when I kissed lower – I saved it all for those lonely nights when there were too many people around to steal more than a furtive glance.
And then he sank into me, his movements slow and unhurried, matching the tempo of the music. There was none of the frenzied fever that marked our last encounter, despite the fact that our time was short. His hot and demanding mouth branded me as his own and my body locked tight around him, drawing him deeper, finding salvation with every stroke.
When I felt myself trembling on the edge I ignored the call of his blood, whispering words of love for his ears only, relishing the sound of his heart beating fast and strong against me. He came in a surge of heat, his hoarse cry of satisfaction sending me tumbling after him.