Gravity (Free Falling)

by St. Pierre, Raven

  “I’ll be right back. I think I left something in your truck.” I turned to walk away.

  “Don’t you need the key?” Antonio asked flatly.

  “Oh, yeah that would be helpful. Thanks,” I replied, mildly embarrassed by my oversight.

  I grabbed the keys from his hand and headed back out the theatre entrance. Once I was sure he couldn’t see me, I hid behind a van and pulled my phone out. It was a text message from AJ.

  “What r u doing?”

  What should I tell him? The truth I guess. After all, he was the one that I didn’t have to lie to.

  “At the movies,” I replied.

  “With him?” He asked.

  “Yeah.”

  I waited another minute for him to respond and decided that I was pushing my luck. Antonio would become suspicious if I waited any longer, so I walked back inside. He had almost made it to the front of the line. “Did you find what you were looking for?” He asked.

  “Yeah, I thought I lost my lip gloss but it was under the seat.” I smiled at him trying to make my story as believable as possible.

  We were next in line. Antonio pulled the money from his pocket and stepped forward when the couple in front of us walked away from the counter. When he had our tickets in hand, I decided to create a small diversion to give myself a chance to check my phone again for another message from AJ. He hadn’t responded that I knew of, but I wanted to be sure. “Why don’t I get the drinks and everything while you go get us a good seat?” I offered.

  “Alright,” he replied and then put a twenty dollar bill in my hand along with my ticket before he walked away. I watched until he was out of sight and then grabbed my cell phone out of my purse. Nothing. I sighed and waited in line. After I paid for our snacks I made my way to the theater and found Antonio seated in the very last row in the far corner. He met me at the end of the row to take the drinks from my hand. Even when he wasn’t in the best of moods he was still a complete gentleman.

  The lights dimmed and the previews started. I was surprised when Antonio reached for my hand. He’d been a little distant since this afternoon, so it was a relief that he still wanted to be close to me. I glanced over at him and found that he was already looking in my direction. He smiled at me a short sweet smile and then turned back to the screen.

  About halfway through the movie, my phone started to go off again. I jumped a little, but lucky for me, there was a scary scene at that precise moment so Antonio didn’t notice. I turned to the side and acted as if I was searching for something in my purse again.

  AJ had sent me another text. “Come outside. Use the side entrance.”

  Is he insane? I settled back into my seat and pretended to watch the movie while I debated whether or not to comply. About five minutes later I decided go for it.

  “I’ll be right back. I have to go to the bathroom.”

  “Ok,” Antonio replied.

  By the time I reached the aisle, my heart was pounding with the excitement that was bubbling over inside of me. It was wrong, and yet it felt so right. AJ was so unpredictable…..I liked it. A smile crossed my face as I walked toward the exit. There were only a few people lingering nearby including a guard to check ticket stubs. I patted my pocket, remembering that I still had mine, and took one last glance over my shoulder before I made a run for it.

  When I burst through the doors, A.J was there leaning against his car with his arms folded across his chest looking as irresistible as ever. He was wearing a fitted short sleeved black shirt and dark blue jeans that matched the night sky…..it was that same carefully careless look that he’d made his own. He smiled at me and I couldn’t resist doing the same. I walked over to him and threw my arms around his neck and squeezed him.

  “What are you doing?” I asked without releasing him from my grip.

  “He gets more of your time than I do, so I had to even the playing field a little,” AJ replied. I wrapped my arms around him again, tighter than before.

  “I have to go.” I sighed.

  “No you don’t,” he whispered back. “You could get in my car and we’d drive away. It’s just that easy.”

  For a moment, I considered his idea. “I can’t do that to him, AJ. I can’t just leave him sitting there.”

  AJ was silent, but he eventually released me. I backed away and felt miserable when I saw the disappointment on his face.

  “I know…..but you can’t blame me for trying,” he said solemnly.

  I kissed him once and then turned to go back inside. As I retreated, I felt like I was leaving a piece of myself behind.

  I rushed up the aisle back to my seat. Antonio was focused on the movie, so he didn’t look over at me as he reached for my hand again. The rest of the movie was a blur to me because AJ was all I could think about even though I was sitting right next to Antonio. His beautiful face, his scent, his confidence, his sense of humor…. everything about him was pulling me in his direction even in his absence. I didn’t even notice that the movie had ended until the lights came back on. Antonio waited for me to get on my feet and then put his hand on the small of my back as he led me down the aisle and out the door.

  “Did you have a good time?” He asked.

  “A great time,” I replied, secretly referring to my rendezvous with AJ. A smile snuck up on me and I didn’t try to conceal it.

  Once we reached the car, Antonio picked up right where he’d left off before we went into the theater. “Are you gonna call Leslie before it gets too late?”

  I tried to play dumb. “Call Leslie for what?” I asked.

  “So you can find out what time you all are supposed to get together.”

  “Are you really considering coming over there to spy on me?” I asked in a tone suggesting that I was offended by his implication.

  “It’s not you I’m worried about,” he retorted.

  “Antonio…..I’m a big girl. I can handle it. I still say there’s nothing to worry about. He isn’t even thinking about me,” I assured him, even though I would’ve bet a thousand dollars that AJ was in fact thinking about me.

  “He just needs to know that you’re already with somebody…..and that I’m not about to let you go.”

  “You’re making a big deal of this for nothing. He probably has a girlfriend already. Plus….when was the last time you saw an Asian guy with a black girl? That doesn’t usually happen, Antonio,” I said loudly, nearly yelling.

  There was a long silence. As Antonio watched the road I could see him clench his teeth together. His eyes narrowed slightly and his body became rigid. “You know what? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to make me think that nothing’s going on.” I couldn’t speak, not even to lead him in another direction…..any direction other than this one. “But I’m pretty sure you already know that wouldn’t end very well…for anybody!”

  “Was that a threat, Antonio?” I asked defensively.

  “Not unless you’re guilty,” he said mockingly.

  Antonio’s angry alter ego was beginning to rear his head, and I didn’t want that Antonio to completely take over. I had to act quickly. “Antonio, really. I can’t believe you’re getting all worked up about this guy staring at me! It isn’t even that serious.” I was trying to make him see the situation more innocently. “Besides, even if he did look at me that way, I’m with you and that’s all that matters, right?”

  Antonio didn’t respond. As a matter of fact, he didn’t say anything the rest of the way home; he just concentrated on the road. I’d hoped that he was considering my words because I was desperate for him to believe me. There was still so much uncertainty inside me. The thought of either one of them leaving me before I was absolutely sure made me feel like I’d have a panic attack. I fought back the tears that were ready to flow as he pulled into my driveway, unlocked the doors, and didn’t even turn to look at me.

  “Are you seriously this angry with me because of something someone else did?” I asked in a shrill voice, nearing hysteri
cs. “Antonio, answer me!” I screamed.

  He said nothing.

  “Fine,” I whispered in defeat. I sat there another minute staring at him with hope that he’d say something. When I realized that wasn’t going to happen, I opened my door and closed it gently. Before I could even take two steps, he sped off.

  It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I walked to the door slowly replaying the whole evening in my head in disbelief. From AJ showing up out of nowhere to the argument I’d just had with Antonio. That was a first. Daddy unlocked the door just as I was lifting my key to it. I rolled my eyes, but didn’t have the strength to be as annoyed as I should’ve been so I just turned the knob and walked in. Daddy assessed the distress in my expression and decided not to say anything other than “Goodnight, Baby Girl.”

  My feet felt like they weighed a ton as I climbed the stairs. When I entered my room, I didn’t even worry about turning on the light. I stripped out of my clothes and climbed into my bed without bothering to get any pajamas. My head was whirling and I had to lie down. It felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown. There had to be some way to fix this….someway to convince Antonio not to leave me. I couldn’t handle that. He needed to believe that there wasn’t anything between AJ and I. And there was only one way I could think of to make that happen. With a newfound resolve, I didn’t think twice as I pulled my cell phone from my purse and sent Antonio a text message. It simply stated,“3:00”. I turned my phone off and threw it across the room. Nothing good was going to come of this. Call it a hunch.

  Chapter Six

  When I awoke the next morning I was surprised to see that it was 11:45 because I didn’t usually sleep so late. Last night’s drama was still fresh in my head and today would no doubt be equally as stressful. I had no idea how this would play out, but I imagined that it would be tragic. I lifted myself from the bed and headed for the shower. The hot water helped to ease my nerves a little, but I couldn’t help but to worry. My main concern was that Antonio would create a scene, but also that AJ would be angry with me for agreeing to let Antonio come by at all. There was no way to predict the outcome.

  When I stepped out of the shower, I picked up my phone from where I’d thrown it the night before and lay across the bed in my towel. After powering it back up, I contemplated calling Antonio to apologize, but decided against it. I turned on the radio half hoping to hear a song that was so profound that it would solve my problems with one verse. No such luck. There were only a few ill-fated love songs that unfortunately applied to my exact situation. I turned over and sighed. When would this be over? Would I ever be able to come to a decision that I could live with?

  Seconds later I decided to call Leslie and she answered on the first ring. “Hello?”

  “Hey girl, what’s up?” I replied.

  “Nothing really. What you up to?”

  “Just laying here….thinking,” I said.

  “You feeling alright? You’ve been a little high strung lately,“ Leslie inquired

  “Yeah, I’m good. I just….I don’t know.”

  “What is it?”

  “Have you ever just been stuck in a situation where you had to make a decision but both choices seemed like the right one? I mean, like a decision where you didn’t know if you could live with either outcome…..couldn’t deal with having one without the other?”

  “Well, I think everyone’s been there at least once.” She paused for a minute and then continued. “I guess the only advice I could offer you is not to make a move until you’re absolutely sure. There’s usually a moment when you know what your choice should be. It’s clear cut…..there in front of you in black and white.”

  I thought about her words for a long while before I responded. “Thanks, Les. I needed that.”

  “No problem. That’s what I’m here for.” She hesitated for a second. “Does this have anything to do with you and Antonio?”

  As badly as I wanted to tell her everything that was going on, I knew that it was too risky. There was the possibility that she’d say something to Terrence and then it would get back to Antonio. “No, it’s nothing like that,” I lied convincingly.

  “I didn’t really think so, but I just wanted to make sure,” she replied caringly.

  “You need me to come get you today?” I asked, wanting to change the subject.

  “Yeah, I’ll be ready about two, so just call me before you come.”

  “Alright, see you later.”

  When I hung up the phone, I continued to think about what Leslie said. She made me more content to wait for that exact moment that I knew. I would try to make no snap decisions now.

  2:25……I’d already called Leslie to let her know I was on my way. As I headed to the car, I remembered that I hadn’t warned AJ that Antonio would be observing us today, so I sent him a message, “FYI…Antonio’s coming 2,”but he never responded.

  When I pulled into Leslie’s driveway she was again already waiting outside. She hopped in and shut the door, but it looked like there was something that she wanted to say. “What’s up?” I asked.

  Leslie hesitated and then finally asked, “What happened last night? Terrence called right after you and I talked earlier and said Antonio called him yelling all loud. He barely understood what he was saying. He heard AJ’s name though.” Leslie leaned her head to the side. “And all I could think about was the question you asked. Is something going on that I don’t know about?”

  I wanted to tell her just to have someone to share my miserable thoughts with, but it was out of the question. “No, Leslie. There’s nothing going on. Antonio is just overreacting. “

  “All I know is that Terrence said Antonio was talking like he might do something crazy. He’d never heard him like that.”

  “Well, he’ll be here today too, so I guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” I sighed.

  Shock crossed her face. “Is that a good idea if he’s upset with AJ?”

  “Believe me, if I could stop him I would. He’s trippin’ because he thinks there’s something going on between AJ and me, so he’s coming to observe,” I said in a sarcastic tone.

  “Well….there isn’t…..is there?” She searched my face for some sort of answer.

  “I already told you. No!” I protested a little forcefully. She turned her head and stared out the window and didn’t say another word.

  We turned into my driveway just as AJ was pulling up. I didn’t hear back from him after I’d sent the message, so I didn’t know what to expect from him. When he stepped out of the car he looked as confident and collected as ever. Our gazes met momentarily and to my surprise, Leslie was watching us both, making a few mental notes of her own I assumed.

  “Leave it alone, Les,” I stated plainly as she stared at me questioningly.

  We all walked into the house together. My parents were on their way out to visit my mom’s cousin across town, so I didn’t have to worry about them witnessing whatever drama was to come. AJ sat on one end of the couch and Leslie took the other. I decided to sit in daddy’s chair in an effort to keep Leslie from picking up on the developing chemistry between AJ and I. None of us spoke. A few minutes later the doorbell rang and I saw Leslie shift nervously in her seat. AJ leaned back appearing to be more comfortable now than he was seconds ago. I jumped to my feet and worked to steady my breathing as I held the knob in my hand. Finally, I’d built up the nerve to pull the door open to let Antonio in.

  He didn’t say anything to me as he stepped inside. I closed the door softly and walked back over to my seat. Antonio stood in the entryway to the living room as he prepared himself to monitor my interaction with AJ. I couldn’t just sit there and do nothing, so I got up from my seat again and retrieved our supplies. When I returned to the room nothing had changed. I spread the materials out on the floor and began to work alone. Moments later Leslie reluctantly joined me in silence. Eventually AJ slid down on the floor with us and helped me arrange our visual aids on the poster board. I glanced up at Antoni
o to find him staring so intently at AJ that he could have bore a hole in the back of his head. I rolled my eyes at him and kept working, trying hard to forget that he was even there.

  Before I knew it the mood had lightened a little. The three of us, Leslie, AJ, and I of course, were talking amongst ourselves and even laughing a little. Antonio seemed to be getting angrier and angrier as the minutes went on, but I wasn’t sure why. Was he having a hard time watching AJ and I together?

  “Does anyone want something to drink?” I asked.

  “Sure,” AJ and Leslie said in unison.

  “Ok, be right back.”

  I arose from where I was seated on the floor and walked toward the kitchen. I was only gone for two minutes, but when I returned Antonio had left. Both AJ and Leslie watched my face as I stood in the foyer staring at the closed door. Regaining my composure, I fixed a smile on my face and served them their drinks before sitting back down on the floor.

  The hours passed by quickly. Surprisingly, when I looked out the window I’d found that the sun had already set. I looked at the clock…..7:45.

  “Well, I think that was enough for one day. You ready for me to take you home, Leslie?” I asked.

  “Actually I told Terrence that we’d be done around 8 or so; he’s coming to get me in a few.”

  “Oh. Ok,” I replied.

  “Yeah, I guess I’d better get going too.” AJ added.

  I didn’t want him to leave me yet, but I had to let it appear that way to Leslie. Unfortunately, I hadn’t realized that Leslie was watching me as I stared at AJ. When I glanced at her, she was squinting suspiciously. AJ got to his feet to move toward the door just as Terrence blew the horn for Leslie.

  “That’s my ride. I guess I’ll see you two on Monday,” she said as she shot me another look.