As my feet thudded against the pavement I felt a rush that made me move faster than I’d ever moved before. Driven by the thought of AJ being just beyond my reach, I smiled and made my way down the driveway, up the street and to the corner where I saw his car parked at the stop sign. I didn’t stop running until my hand was on the handle of the passenger-side door, and by the time I jumped in my smile had turned into laughter. AJ smiled back at me and then leaned in for a kiss. The next second we were off. I wasn’t sure where we were going, but it didn’t really matter to me. Sitting there next to him, I couldn’t worry about anything.
He was so alluring. The sleeves of the white t-shirt he wore were cut-off revealing his well defined arms. I had to turn and look out the window to keep from staring. He was quite possibly perfect. For the time being, watching the trees whisk past at high speed gave me something else to focus on, but I was startled by the feel of his hand resting on my thigh as he gripped it gently. I placed my hand on his and tried to relax, but it was hard enough to resist him when he wasn’t touching me.
We drove for about 20 minutes to an open field in what seemed to be the middle of nowhere. AJ popped the trunk, but before stepping out of the car he turned to me. “Wait here a sec.”
I watched as he went around to the back of the car and pulled out a blanket. He came around to my side and spread it out about ten feet from the car. Next, he opened my door and held my hand as I stepped out and walked over to the blanket. I sat waiting while AJ rolled the car windows down and turned up the radio a little. When he came over to join me, he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him. His scent was something I’d never get used to. Inconspicuously, I leaned my head on his shoulder and inhaled.
We sat there for a while listening to the music until he broke the silence. “I’m glad you decided to come with me tonight.”
“So am I. It felt like I had to see you.”
I could hear him smiling when he responded, “I know the feeling.”
“Weren’t you worried about your parents catching you?” I asked.
“Nope.”
“They don’t care?”
“I don’t know. I never get caught,” he replied.
The way he worded that made me curious. “So…..you sneak out with girls a lot?”
AJ was smiling again when he answered, “I wouldn’t say a lot.” He wasn’t mine to claim, but I didn’t like to think of him being with anyone else. The thought was silly considering that he’d been so patient with me in my situation with Antonio.
“Do you bring all of them here?” I asked snidely.
“No, I assure you; you’re the first.”
“Then how did you know about this place?” My tone was a bit accusatory.
AJ was nearly laughing this time as he pointed off into the distance. There was a small, dark shadow that stood out against the trees; it was a tiny house. “You see that place over there?” He waited for me to nod. “That’s my uncle’s house.”
Mildly embarrassed by the tone I’d taken before, “Oh,” was all I could say.
He was still smiling when he asked, “Does that make you feel any better?”
“A little.”
“Hmm…only a little? What else is on your mind?”
I hesitated as I wrestled with my thoughts because I wasn’t sure if I could handle the answer to the question on my mind, but I asked it anyway. “Have you ever…..” I trailed off and shied away, wishing I’d never even said that much. What he’d done with other girls in the past really wasn’t any of my business.
He didn’t hesitate to answer, “Yeah.” I didn’t really know what to say next. “Does that bother you?” He asked.
“It shouldn’t, but I guess it does.”
“You’re allowed to feel that way. It was a long time ago if that makes it any better.”
“Exactly how long ago?” I chimed in quickly.
I saw a smile cross his face again. “About two years ago.” He paused. “And I wish it never happened.”
That’s not something you usually hear guys say. “Why?” I asked.
His expression was thoughtful when he answered. “It just didn’t mean what it was supposed to mean. It was wrong. She was wrong. I was too immature to even understand any of it beyond the physical and there’s supposed to be a lot more to it than that.” He turned to me. “What about you and this Antonio guy?”
“No, not him. Not anyone.”
He stared at me for a minute. “That’s good. I don’t mean to sound hypocritical or anything, but I don’t think I could handle that.”
Now I was the one laughing. “What do you mean you couldn’t handle it?”
“Just the thought of you and him…..like that…..it makes me wanna fight him.”
AJ’s expression was so serious as he stared off into the distance, but I couldn’t suppress my amusement. He looked at me for a moment as I continued laughing uncontrollably. Out of nowhere, he caught me off guard with a kiss. I quickly met the enthusiasm of his soft lips. We were spellbound and didn’t bother trying to fight the pull that we felt toward one another. Antonio never made me feel like this; not even when I’d finally won his heart after obsessing over him for so long. This was different than anything I’d ever experienced and my mother was right; it would’ve been a crying shame to miss out on it.
It was time to return home before one of us got caught, so I stood up to stretch and AJ wrapped his arms around my waist. I brought my arms down to rest on his shoulders, returning his embrace. As we stood there unmoving, it felt like there was something that he wanted to say. His lips were pressed against my neck as he whispered, “I love you too.”
He was finally responding to my admission on Saturday and his timing was perfect. If I hadn’t been fully convinced before, there was no question about it now; I was unmistakably and unavoidably in love with him. As our tryst came to an end, I fought back the feelings of sadness that began to overwhelm me. AJ was quiet which made me think that maybe he felt the same way. We listened to the radio and held hands the entire way and it felt as though there was an invisible bond between us that was drawing us together and getting stronger as the minutes wore on. The feeling was indescribable.
After an evening like that, it was safe to assume that sleep would evade me as my thoughts of him would surely keep me too occupied. If this night never ended, it would be too soon. I allowed my thoughts to drift way into the future, imagining that AJ was mine….really mine and I wouldn’t have to be away from him at all anymore.
Moments later he pulled his car up to the corner down the street from my house and came to a stop. I was trying to think of some way to procrastinate when AJ grabbed the back of my neck and greeted my lips with the most passionate kiss we’d shared by far. I was too weak from his touch to lift my hands to his face. When he pulled back I wasn’t even able to open my eyes right away, but I was sure that he hadn’t gone far because I could still feel the warmth of his skin near my face. His breathing was unsteady as I imagine mine must’ve been. I pulled myself away from him quickly, opened my door and jumped out of the car. This was my only chance to escape this power he had over me. When I looked back, he was laughing to himself at my clumsy, yet necessary, exit. I smiled, closed the door and made my way in the house.
Cautiously, I approached the front door. There didn’t appear to be any reason to believe that anyone was awake inside, but I couldn’t be sure. I removed my keys from my pocket and turned the lock slowly. This was the moment of truth. There was a very strong possibility that one of my parents could be waiting for me on the other side of the door; gently and fearfully, I turned the knob. After taking a deep breath, I pushed it open to find that everything was exactly as it was before I’d left. I closed the door behind me and tiptoed up the stairs to my bedroom; changing in the dark to ensure that no one would notice the light. I slid into bed and stared out the window……2:30am. Tonight was pivotal for me. I’d never done anything even remotely that rebellious
. Apparently AJ’s boldness was a bit contagious.
At around 4:15 I was finally calm enough to sleep, and that was wayyyyy past my bedtime. So, needless to say, when my alarm sounded at 5:30, I wanted to pound it into a thousand tiny pieces and then set it on fire. It felt as though I’d just laid my head on my pillow and dozed off. My eyes were dry and burned like I’d rubbed them with salt. My body felt like it was too weak for me to stand, but I had to hold it together or my parents would be suspicious. Slowly, I peeled myself out of bed and did the old lady shuffle to the shower. That helped a little, but I still felt like the walking dead. I dressed sluggishly and didn’t put much effort at all into doing my hair. I grabbed my purse and flopped down the stairs to eat breakfast.
Mom was in the kitchen drinking her coffee. Her eyes followed me curiously around room as I grabbed the cereal, a bowl and the milk from the refrigerator before sitting down at the table across from her. I tipped the cereal box until my bowl was half full, and then I reached for the milk…..or so I thought. To my surprise, I’d grabbed the orange juice instead. I sighed and seriously contemplated using it just to avoid having to get back up, but then remembered that my mom was there and she might find it strange if I willingly ate my Frosted Flakes with O.J. Reluctantly I got up from my seat and switched it out for the milk and returned to my chair.
After clearing my place, it was time to go. My car looked like it was a million miles away as I trudged toward it with tired legs and blurred eyes. I sat in the driver’s seat for a minute before starting the engine. Sneaking out was starting to seem like a stupid idea now. I drove to school absentmindedly and parked the car. I saw AJ getting out of his car looking like he’d gotten about ten hours of sleep last night. Impossible…..he should look as bad as me! I got out and made my way toward the school, lacking the energy to catch up with him or even call his name. He happened to look back and saw me struggling to stay upright. From ahead, I heard him laugh a little, but I didn’t bother to look up. He waited until I caught up and then began to pace again.
“Good morning, sunshine,” he said sarcastically as he threw his arm around my shoulders, still laughing at my expense. I leaned into him, appreciating the extra support.
“There is no way you’re this normal and I look like a freakin’ zombie over here.”
As we made our way into the school I’d almost completely forgotten about the drama with Antonio…….until we nearly walked right into him. I’d already made up my mind not to be too open with AJ on school grounds out of respect for Antonio, but in my drowsy stupor, I’d been too careless. My eyes met Antonio’s and I could see the hurt that filled them when he glanced at AJ’s arm casually draped around me. If he weren’t so proud, he might’ve run off to the bathroom crying.
Antonio grabbed hold of the sadness and converted it into anger. His chest swelled with rage and I could hear his knuckles cracking one by one as he clenched his massive fists. His alter ego took over instantly and the next few seconds seemed to pass in slow motion. I saw Antonio draw back and swing so fast that his arm flew through the air in a blur. My first instinct was to get between them……and that proved to be a bad idea. As soon as I jumped in, I was knocked right down, slamming my head into the unforgiving ground beneath me. I nearly blacked out upon impact. There was scuffling in the background and then a few loud thuds. A moment later I could hear a teacher running toward us yelling, “Stop!” This is the last thing I remember before losing consciousness.
I awoke in the small room off from the office that was used as the nurse’s station. My head spun when I tried to sit up too quickly. Slowly this time, I tried again. There was a bag of ice on the table near the cot I was on, and it was safe to assume that it was meant for me. I picked it up and pressed it to the back of my head, gently applying pressure because of the searing pain.
The door was open slightly so I was able to see out into the office lobby. AJ sat there alone and I could see from his expression that he was furious. It almost didn’t even look like him. He sat there slouched down in his chair with his arms folded over his chest and his fists clenched. His eyes were fixed on something across the room, but I couldn’t see what it was. I got to my feet and eased over to the door. I opened it to find Antonio staring right back at AJ from near the administrator’s desk. Antonio had a huge gash over his eyebrow and another on the side of his lip. The sound of the door got both of their attention and they were instantly on their feet. AJ reached me first.
“Are you alright?” He asked, looking me over like I imagined my mother would when she showed up. He caught my arm when I stumbled back a bit because I was still feeling a bit dizzy.
“Not really, but I’m sure I will be,” I replied. Antonio stood nearby trying to control his anger. It was visibly difficult for him to watch AJ touch me. He still loved me and it was like pouring salt in a wound. I wanted to be sensitive to his feelings, but didn’t want to hurt AJ by pushing him away. When AJ released me, Antonio stepped forward a little.
“Sam, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. You know I’d never do that,” Antonio explained.
“It doesn’t matter if you meant to do it or not!” AJ yelled back.
Antonio snapped his head in AJ’s direction. “You know what? I should’ve ended your life Saturday night. Keep tryin’ me. It’s not like I don’t have a reason to do it!” Antonio yelled back.
The principal was already between them before AJ could respond. “Alright. Alright. That’s quite enough gentlemen. Both of you have earned yourselves three days suspension. Take these to your parents. I have to meet with them before either of you can return,” Mr. Turner said as he handed them both an envelope. “I’m walking you two to your cars and I’d better not see you on school grounds until I say so. Is that clear?” Both AJ and Antonio nodded as they continued to stare at one another.
Mr. Turner led the way out of the office, but AJ turned to me before leaving. “I’ll call you later.”
Antonio growled at AJ’s statement and punched the door on his way out.
“That’s enough Mr. Martin. You just earned yourself two extra days!” Mr. Turner exclaimed.
When they were gone the nurse stepped back into the office. “I’m glad to see that you’ve finally come around. I called your parents and they’re on their way here. It shouldn’t be much longer,” she explained. I sighed and dreaded having to explain this situation to my mother and father. There was no way to make it sound good. There was nothing to do but to prepare myself.
Five minutes later I could hear a pair of heels clicking down the hall and the low murmuring of voices. The next second, my parents burst through the door. My mother’s face was filled with worry as she moved toward me to examine me more closely like I expected her to. “What happened?” She asked in a shrill voice.
“It’s a long story,” I replied.
“Start with who’s responsible for this.”
“Mom, I really don’t want …..”
“Samantha, don’t play with me,” she warned.
I peered up at Daddy who was anxiously awaiting my answer. “Before I tell you, let me stress that it was an accident.”
“Answer the question,” she replied flatly.
I sighed and thought about lying, but then just blurted, “Antonio, but remember that I said it was an accident.”
“That boy did this to you?” My father asked.
“Daddy, he wasn’t trying to hit me. He was aiming for AJ,” I explained.
“Who’s AJ?” Daddy asked with a look of confusion on his face.
I sighed. “It’s complicated. Can we just go home? I’ll explain it later, but my head is hurting right now.”
He exhaled a breath and then I saw concern fill his face and I knew that the doctor in him wanted to examine me himself for any serious damage. That was the only reason he didn’t protest and make me tell him everything right there in the office. “Yes, but we will be discussing it later.”
My mom helped me to my feet and we
walked to her car. Daddy took my keys and drove my car home seeing as how I was still considerably groggy. When we pulled into the driveway, she came around to help me into the house. She walked me up the stairs and sat me down on my bed. I felt a little dizzy as I swung my legs around and lay down. Of course she sat down beside me. “Tell me what happened before your father gets up here.”
I sighed and then began. “AJ and I walked into the school together and Antonio lost it. He was trying to hit AJ, but I jumped in between them at the wrong time. Trust me, he feels really bad and I don’t want you and Daddy calling his house and making things worse.” Deep down I felt like this whole thing was totally and absolutely fair. Neither one of them deserved to be hurt again because of me. That was why I tried to shield AJ.
It didn’t look like she wanted to agree to what I’d asked. “I won’t make a fuss over it, but I don’t know how easy it’ll be to convince your father,” she replied hesitantly.
My father almost walked in on our conversation. Mom straightened up immediately and pretended like we weren’t talking about him. “Ok now, Samantha. What happened and I want the whole truth,” he said sternly.
My mom tensed up a little and that did nothing to help my nerves. “Daddy, Antonio wasn’t aiming for me, he was aiming for someone else.”
“I heard that part. He was going for this AJ character, but who is that and why would he be trying to hit him.”
“Well, that’s the thing.” I took a deep breath and just blurted it out. “Antonio and I broke up because of AJ.”
He looked confused. “But didn’t you just go to the movies with the boy the other night? When did all this happen?”
“Well……yeah, but at that point AJ was already in the picture. I just hadn’t made up my mind yet.” I hated explaining myself to my father. He made me nervous and I always got tangled up in my words and tripped on them. It was a gift of his.
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