Gravity (Free Falling)

by St. Pierre, Raven

  Her expression was much softer than it was the other day in Math when she tried to go off on me. “I understand that, but I hope you all understand that it wasn’t my intention to hurt him. Things just kind of happened and he got caught in the middle,” I explained.

  “What happened on Tuesday?” She asked. “There’ve been a lot of rumors flying around, but I don’t know what to believe.”

  “Well, Antonio got upset when…..” I decided to be vague in my response. “Things just got out of hand.”

  There was a long pause and then Ashley chimed in. “So, are you and this Chinese kid together or something?” Her condescending tone reminded me why I didn’t like her.

  It didn’t feel right to lie, but I wasn’t sure that they were ready to hear the truth yet. At the same time, I also didn’t want to be deceitful, especially since they were being open and accepted me into their circle today. “Yeah, we are now.”

  “Hmmm….I just don’t get it. What’s wrong with Antonio? You too good for black guys now? You know that boy doesn’t really have feelings for you, right? He’ll lose interest before the month is out,” Ashley scoffed.

  I tried to suppress my rising anger. “Well, that’s your opinion. And next time I want it, I’ll ask you for it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to go back to my seat.”

  “Fine. Nobody wanted you over here but Leslie anyway,” Ashley mumbled under her breath. I tried to control my temper. I couldn’t afford to get in any more trouble at home than I was already in, so I refrained from throwing my drink in her face like I wanted to, and got up from my chair, rolling my eyes at her as I walked away. I couldn’t sit there and listen to her stupidity any longer. I walked away and nearly threw my tray onto my table. It would be a cold day in Hell before I’d try that again.

  *****

  When I got home, I found myself still angry about my conversation with Ashley. Everything she said replayed over and over in my head no matter how hard I tried to stop it. The cold feeling I got when I sat at their table still lingered with me despite the fact that hours had passed since the incident. All of them seemed to hate that AJ and I were now together. It wasn’t fair that I’d hurt Antonio, but was it justice that I be outcast because of one decision I’d made?

  I was just finishing up my homework when I heard my mom calling me down to eat. Dinner was pretty much the same as yesterday. Daddy and I sat in silence. I cleared my spot and retreated back to my room as quickly as I could. This had to end soon. I didn’t like that he was trying to force me to end things with AJ, but I didn’t like the tension between us either. If he wasn’t going to be the one to give in, I guess I had to be. I walked down the stairs slowly and found my parents in the living room together. Mom was sitting on the couch watching television and my father sat in his chair reading the paper.

  “Daddy, can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked nervously.

  He muted the TV and looked in my direction, but didn’t speak. “I need to say something.” This was my chance to be mature and prove to him that I was becoming a young adult. “You’re concerned about me; I appreciate that, but cutting AJ off isn’t an option.” I paused to catch my breath. “So, I was thinking. Would it make you feel better if I invited him over here so you can meet him?”

  My question got Mom’s attention too. She looked at me and then back at my father as we both awaited his answer.

  “James, I think that’s a reasonable solution. That way you can meet the young man and get to know him. What do you say?” She asked.

  His eyebrows furrowed as he deliberated. “Fine. But this doesn’t change the fact that I don’t think you’re ready for a relationship.”

  “I understand. I just want you to meet him and then we can go from there,” I replied excitedly.

  My mother seemed pleased that he’d agreed to meet AJ. I couldn’t help but to smile too although there was the slightest hint of nervousness. I considered disclosing AJ’s race to daddy, but decided that would probably make it into a bigger deal than it was. So, Daddy wouldn’t know any of the details until they met face to face.

  Excited, I immediately ran up to my room to tell AJ the good news. “Hello?” He answered

  “Hey. What would you say if I asked you to come over to meet my father this Saturday? We can talk with my parents for a while and then just hang out here after that.”

  AJ was silent for a while which made my enthusiasm fade. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” He asked.

  “Yeah, I think if he meets you he’ll like you and stop pressuring me to leave you alone.”

  There was another moment of silence. “If you think that’ll help, I’ll be there.” He said reluctantly.

  “Good. I’ll let you know the time and everything later.” I was trying to be optimistic, but AJ’s skepticism had me second guessing myself. Was this a bad idea?

  The next day at lunch I avoided my friends…..or whatever they were to me now, and went straight for my newly claimed table. They were talking and laughing amongst themselves, but I didn’t allow myself to look their way. I was still uncomfortable, but I made up my mind not to let them see that I was bothered. The bell sounded and I couldn’t get out of there quick enough. Thankfully, it was Friday and I wouldn’t have to deal with them anymore until after the weekend, and by Monday, AJ would be back.

  Mom came up to my room immediately after she returned home from work. She seemed a little anxious. “So did you talk to AJ about coming by tomorrow?”

  “Yeah. He’ll be here.”

  “Is he nervous?” She asked.

  “No I wouldn’t say nervous, but maybe unsure.”

  She paused for a minute and bit her lip thoughtfully. “Do you think it might be a good idea to wait a little longer? You know, maybe until around your birthday when the mood is a little lighter around here. That’s only a month away, and that would give you and AJ time to see if you’re really serious about one another.”

  I thought about it and decided that maybe she was right. Not about needing time to see if it would last, but to let things die down around here. “Yeah, that might be better.”

  “And plus we’re going to have the rest of the family over here too, so your father won’t be able to focus as much attention on AJ and you’ll get to introduce him to all yours cousins and aunts and uncles,” she smiled. “It’ll be nice.”

  The thought of him meeting my whole family made me a little anxious, but mom was right. With company around, Daddy was less likely to hassle AJ

  “I’ll call him and let him know that the plan has changed,” I assured her.

  “Ok, and I’ll tell your father as soon as he gets home.” She smiled again, and walked out of my room to give me privacy while I made the call.

  “Hey,” AJ answered.

  “Hey. Busy?”

  “Just at the mall, but I’m never too busy for you. What’s up?”

  I took a deep breath before speaking. “Well…..my mom and I were talking and what do you think about waiting to meet my father at a later date – like around my birthday. We usually just combine it with Thanksgiving because it’s always so close. What do you think?”

  He paused for a minute. “Yeah, that sounds fine.”

  “Ok, so leave your calendar open for November 23rd then.”

  “It’s a date. But hey, I have an idea. Since we’re not hangin’ over at your house tomorrow, you should come meet my friends. They’re getting together at Karl’s house. It’ll be fun. I think you’ll get along great with his girlfriend Deanna. She and Karl are both going to Charleston too, so you’ve already got something in common.”

  Protesting seemed like a good idea, but he was so open to meeting my father that I didn’t have a choice but to be equally as open to his suggestion. So I replied, “Sure.”

  “Great. I’ll call Karl later and get all the details and I’ll give you a call later.”

  I wasn’t sure about this. Maybe his friends would feel the same way about us that my frie
nds did. There was also the possibility of Leila being there with Trevor. Chances are, she didn’t know about AJ and me yet and I wasn’t expecting her to take it well. I took a deep breath and tried to be positive.

  The next day I decided to go shopping to find a new outfit before going over to Karl’s with AJ. I wanted to make a good impression and I didn’t have much luck when I ravaged my closet the night before. I started with my favorite store, and as always, found something after only searching for ten minutes. There was a dark denim mini skirt that fit perfectly. Of course, I’d have to come up with something creative to actually get out of the house with it on, but I’d be able to handle that. There was a hot pink baby tee that matched my pink and white tennis shoes at home, so I grabbed it and hurried to the register to pay.

  By the time I got home, it was nearly 3:00. That gave me plenty of time to play around with different hairstyles. A ponytail was out of the question. Outshining this Leila chick wasn’t going to be an easy task. I ended up leaving it down and curled loosely at the ends, letting it fall down my back. AJ messaged me last night to tell me that he’d be here by 6pm, so I had a little time. I lay across my bed and watched TV until my phone rang at 5:22. I answered it eagerly. “Hey!”

  He laughed a little to himself. “Somebody’s in a good mood.”

  “Maybe a little. You on your way?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I’ll be there in about 20 minutes or so. You ready?”

  “Yeah, I’m about to throw my clothes on now.”

  “Well…..I forgot to tell you; clothing’s optional. It’s cool if you just come naked.”

  “Ha ha ha…shut up. I’ll be ready when you get here. Just call and let it ring once. I’ll come out.”

  I hung up and put on the new outfit. Just then, I remembered that I would never get out of the house in this skirt. I slid it off and threw it into my small Nike backpack that neither of my parents would find suspicious. There was a pair of jeans lying on the side of my bed from earlier, so I put them back on. I collected my purse, keys, phone and the small bag and waited for AJ’s call. A couple minutes later it rang once and I knew that was my cue. I ran down the stairs and kissed my mom.

  “Have fun,” she called after me as I flew out the door.

  I jumped into the car and kissed AJ on the cheek. Strangely, I didn’t really feel nervous about meeting his friends anymore, but I was sure that would change as we got closer to Karl’s house. I was actually relieved that tonight, Leila would finally know that AJ wasn’t available anymore. Maybe she’d give up chasing him then. Maybe.

  AJ looked especially good tonight. He wore a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow and a pair of dark denim jeans that were nearly the same shade as my skirt. His watch twinkled as we passed under the street lights and his jet black hair glistened in the dim light of the evening.

  I needed to change into my skirt before we got to Karl’s house, so I decided to just make the switch while A.J drove. When I reached into my bag and retrieved it, AJ looked at me curiously and then asked, “What’s that for?”

  “I’m wearing it tonight, but I didn’t want my parents to trip when they saw it.”

  “You need me to stop somewhere so you can change?” He asked politely.

  “Nope,” I smiled. “I think I have enough room to do it here.” He was smiling as soon as the words left my mouth.

  I unbuttoned my pants and wrestled with the best way to do this. I could slip the skirt on over the pants and then slide them off easily. But where would the fun be in that? So, I gripped the waist band of my jeans and eased them down slowly. AJ immediately stopped watching the road to focus on me. Not in a rush to cover myself up, I casually folded the jeans and put them in my bag. From my peripheral, it didn’t even look like he was breathing; that’s how still he was. I put my feet through the skirt and slid it up my thighs and buttoned it before turning to smile at him.

  “Don’t you think you should be watching where you’re going?” I asked.

  A few seconds later he turned his attention back to the road. I threw my bag into the backseat, reached for his hand, and leaned my head on his shoulder. We drove for about 15 more minutes and then pulled into Karl’s driveway. It was an average sized white house in the suburbs. There were about six cars parked out front, so I assumed that everyone else was there already. I took a deep breath and A.J squeezed my hand reassuringly. “You’ll be fine. It’s gonna be fun.”

  “Is she going to be here?” I asked in a voice that was barely higher than a whisper.

  “Probably. I think Trevor said he was coming and she usually tags along with him wherever he goes,” AJ replied. I figured as much. It seemed like that was the only reason she was allowed to come around. Trevor was her rite of passage in a sense. The guys are good friends with him so, by default, she’s automatically included in whatever plans they make.

  “Does she know about me yet?” I held my breath while I waited for his answer.

  “No, not unless someone else told her,” he replied.

  So, we were getting ready to blindside her. I could deal with that. “Ok, let’s go. I’m ready,” I sighed.

  AJ looked at me one last time and then got out of the car to come around and open my door. He took my hand and held it as we walked to the door. My nervousness returned as we approached the house. He squeezed my hand and smiled at me reassuringly as he rang the doorbell. Footsteps could be heard on the other side of the door as someone scrambled inside. Two seconds later it flung open.

  “AJ!!” The large man yelled. “Good to see ya. Everybody’s downstairs. You know the way.”

  The man eyed me curiously and glanced down at AJ and me holding hands. “Mr. Holmes, this is Samantha……my girlfriend.” His smile told me that he was pleased to finally be able to say those words.

  “Nice to meet you Samantha. Any friend of AJ’s is a friend of ours. Make yourself at home and don’t hesitate to help yourself to anything.” Mr. Holmes was a good- natured man with a voice as large as his body. I imagined that his outgoing personality was what made Karl’s place the hangout of choice. AJ led the way to the basement door and I took another deep breath as he opened it. Immediately, music floated up the stairs toward us. His friends were laughing and joking around, seeming to already be having a good time. We reached the bottom of the stairs, rounded the corner and I held my breath as each head turned in our direction.

  “Hey, A.J! What’s up?” Karl Exclaimed in a voice loud enough to rival his father’s. The others followed and greeted him as well, never taking their eyes off of me. “And you must be Samantha,” Karl added. “It’s nice to meet you.” He reached out and shook my hand.

  AJ spoke up to introduce me. “Sam, this is everybody; everybody, this is Sam.” Their facial expressions ranged from shock to confusion and even genuine kindness.

  They greeted me with a “Hey,” in unison. AJ continued to go around the room telling me who everyone was. “This is Deanna, Karl’s girlfriend. “ AJ pointed at the short, dark haired girl on the couch with a wide grin on her face. I waved at her and then he moved on. “This guy is Chris,” AJ said, and then shifted his gaze to the two boys I’d seen him talking to that day at the vending machine, one of which was Asian. “That’s Randy, Trevor…..and Leila.”

  Before he said her name, I’d been too nervous to focus on her. But now, our eyes locked immediately. She looked me over from head to toe and stopped as she took note of AJ and I holding hands. Our eyes met again for a second, then she turned away and I saw a smirk cross her face. I tried my best to shake it off. AJ led me over to a couch that looked like it had seen better days. Instantaneously, I found myself wishing that I’d kept my jeans on to protect my legs from whatever was living on it. I sucked it up and plopped down between AJ and Deanna who was already seated there. She smiled at me warmly again and started up a conversation almost immediately.

  “It’s really nice to meet you. I think I’ve seen you in school before,” she said cheerfu
lly.

  It was very easy to miss someone in our school of 3,000. Another reason that my path had never crossed with any of AJ’s friends was because of the fact that our school was socially divided by race. There were the black people, and then there was everyone else. There was no hatred, only a mutual understanding that the worlds would never mix.

  “It’s nice to meet you too. Your face does look kind of familiar. Maybe we’ve had a class together before.”

  “Yeah maybe. So were you nervous about coming here tonight and meeting all of us?”

  “A little,” I admitted. “I wasn’t sure what to expect.”

  “That’s understandable. We’re all pretty laid back though. You seem pretty cool, so you’ll fit right in,” she said as she smiled at me again. “You hungry?” She asked, motioning toward a small table in the corner that had five pizza boxes stacked on top of it.

  “No, I’m fine for now, but thanks.”

  Deanna nodded and turned away. AJ was talking to Randy about their upcoming game next Friday, so I sat there looking around the room. I tried not to notice Leila staring at him as she sat in a chair against the wall. Of course there was no way I could be exactly sure of her thoughts, but if I had to guess I’d say she looked as though she was desperate to be close to him. I found myself feeling sorry for her again. Putting myself in her shoes for a moment, I imagined how I would feel if AJ decided one day that I wasn’t what he wanted anymore. The thought was unbearable and I hadn’t given myself to him as she had. She turned to me as if she’d heard my thoughts, immediately causing me to look away as I became embarrassed for staring at her.

  “So, who’s up for a good old fashioned game of Truth or Dare?” Karl asked. Everyone piped up in response to his request. They all seemed excited as they formed a tight circle with their chairs in the middle of the room. We didn’t have to move because the couch where we sat made up one side of that circle already. This must’ve been one of their rituals.