Our first shopping trip came about because he frequently asked me to wear a short skirt out on our dates, which I refused to do. I said I wouldn’t be comfortable because of how old he was, and also because of the classy restaurants we go to. But I offered to make a deal with him: if we went shopping together, he could buy me something and I would wear it, and it would be a compromise; something I didn’t consider too short and he didn’t think too long. He agreed, so I took him to a designer shop in Birmingham. I was trying to find something I could get a lot of wear out of, but he really liked a purple silk Gucci dress, which was £1,000. I wasn’t sure about it, but it did grow on me. I tried it on with some black patent and gold platform heels, and he kindly bought me the shoes and a bag to match.
Since then he’s taken me on numerous trips and bought me jewellery, perfume and other clothing. He once picked out a beautiful coat that was £1,500. I would have never chosen it for myself, but when I tried it on, I loved it. He has a very good eye for what suits me. Most of the dresses he buys me, he thinks are too long, but they sit on my knee!
Here’s my wish list for the perfect client:
• He would have impeccable hygiene and wouldn’t have skipped the shower or be washing in the sink on my arrival!
• He’d be a true gentleman and treat me like a lady, not give me room service or burger and fries on an overnight date. • He’d take time to get to know me before moving on to more intimate moments, and not slobber all over my face as soon as I get in the room or ask for a ‘quickie’ when I arrive before we go down for dinner.
• He’d be friendly, genuinely interested in me as a person and interesting to talk to, rather than giving yes/no answers to avoid a proper conversation in the hope that the more quickly he answers, the sooner we’ll move on to more ‘fun’ things. If he’s funny, that’s a bonus.
• He wouldn’t brag or talk about himself too much. There’s nothing more unattractive than someone boasting about where they’ve been and what they have, trying to make you feel so lucky to have been chosen for a date. I had one cancellation message that read: ‘I’m sorry I have to cancel as my Bentley has blown a gasket and I can’t afford to get it fixed’. Whatever!
• He would appreciate good food, wine and company. Guys spend so much money arranging a date, so when they try to scrimp on hotels and food it’s really annoying. I don’t want to eat at a two-for-one and have an overcooked steak with grotty chips and a £5 bottle of wine! There are plenty of inexpensive places that serve quality food, so there’s no excuse!
• He would be easygoing and not rush things. An ‘eager beaver’ is such a turn-off! If my date’s tapping his foot and summoning the waiter when I still have half a glass of wine or a mouthful of dessert, I’ll make sure I take my time, just to make a point.
• He thinks it’s just as important for me to have a good time, too. The guys who ask where I’d like to stay and what I’d like to eat are usually the most chilled and lovely clients, because they want me to enjoy our time as much as them. Then there’s the ones who don’t spend any time preparing and book a hotel next to a railway line to save a bit of money, and we end up eating at a Pizza Hut (which I do enjoy by the way, but on this occasion there was urine all over the floor in the ladies’), and on that date I didn’t get a wink of sleep thanks to freight trains running all night. Of course, he got the bitch from hell in the morning!
• He would enjoy lots of foreplay and take the time to turn me on, knowing the more he puts into the experience, the more he’ll get out of it.
• He’d take pleasure in giving me pleasure before having an orgasm himself. Yes, I know it’s old-fashioned, but I do think that when it comes to orgasm it should be ‘ladies first’. The guys that I put the most effort in with are the ones who make the effort. After all, it’s a two-way street!
• Preferably, he’d be trimmed or shaved below. There really is nothing worse than pubic hair. I don’t want to be flossing with men’s pubes, so if they’re shaved or trimmed, I’ll spend much more time down below. Shaved balls look like juicy plums! Mmmm…
• He’d be a great kisser! Most guys can’t kiss and I find it revolting. How on earth they get by, I’ve no idea – I don’t want a drop of slobber on my face after I’ve kissed them! Why do some men try to open their mouth so wide and swallow my face, while clamping my head with their arm so I can’t pull away? It’s hardly surprising their wives seem prone to headaches!
Last night, Gerry used the ‘F’-word on our overnight date and I ended up putting him straight. ‘Gerry,’ I said, more abruptly than I intended, ‘ you don’t really consider me a friend. When I was worried about you because I hadn’t heard from you, you ignored all my correspondence and had no consideration for me whatsoever, and this time I didn’t hear from you for over six months.’ ‘It’s just how I am,’ he replied. What rubbish! I can’t imagine he ignored any of his proper friends.
For about four years, I saw Gerry once a month at his home in Leicester for an overnight date at his house. He’s in his sixties, a bachelor lawyer, who had previously suffered from cancer. When I didn’t hear for him for quite a few months I got extremely concerned, as you would with someone you cared about, who had previously been ill. So I emailed, called and even wrote to him, pleading for him to let me know he was OK, but I didn’t hear from him for three months. When we met again, he explained that three people who were close to him had died.
I empathised with him, but that’s when I realised that he didn’t think of me as a ‘ friend’ because he would have responded to one of my messages if he had. He couldn’t say that he hadn’t realised I was worried. He did know, because I said so in all of my correspondence.
I often wonder whether any of the people who have stopped contacting me over the years have died or had bad accidents, because let’s face it I wouldn’t get any family members or friends informing me if they had. I genuinely care about people, especially the regulars I see, with whom I have built up a relationship of sorts, yet I’ll probably never know if anything bad happens to them.
Eventually, Gerry got back into the routine of seeing me once a month, but then after Christmas last year he stopped contacting me again . I only got in touch with him when I was raising money for cancer research and wondered if he’d sponsor me, as he was a survivor himself. He said he would, but when I emailed him about the money, he ignored me again . I chased him a couple of times and then just left it: he has never given me that sponsorship money.
Out of the blue I had an email from him, enquiring about an overnight date (the one I went on last night), saying he was sorry he hadn’t been in touch but he’d been ill. I felt that it was selfish of him not even to let me know, and rude of him to have ignored my emails. At least he could have sent a quick one -line email or text. I’ve known him nearly six years, so I believed we had some sort of friendship. Obviously not. The frustrating thing is that every time we met he constantly went on and on about how he considered us ‘ friends’.
All the way to my date with him, I worried because I knew I would have to say something if he used the ‘F’-word, and I was pretty sure he would. On the drive to his house, I reminisced. I was looking forward to seeing him ; we’d had some great dates in the past. Overnight dates with Gerry were almost as good as it gets, for work dates. When we first met, he told me he liked his own space when he slept, so asked if I minded sleeping in the spare room. I couldn’t believe my luck! This was my ideal escorting date: not only my own bed, but my own room .
We were like a really old married couple with our set routine. I would get to his house at 7.30p.m., we’d have a brief chat and then head out in the car for dinner. He lives in the country, so there’s lots of cosy country pubs that do fantastic food, and often we’d go to one of those. We’d have a relaxing meal before heading back to his house. Then we’d go straight up to his bed to play, before going to our separate rooms to sleep. In the morning I would get up whenever I fancied. I always stayed for a cou
ple of hours, so it never mattered when I got up. He’d hear me get up and would make me a cup of tea , which he’d bring me in my room. We’d sit and drink tea in my bed, before having our morning fun . After building up an appetite, we’d go downstairs for breakfast before I made my way home. It was always the same, but it suited us both.
When we first met I remember he talked constantly about himself. After at least half an hour of me listening, I cut him off and asked if he’d like to know anything about me. There’s no point in being subtle with guys with Single Man Syndrome: they’re too self-obsessed to take hints. It’s usually the reason they’re single, whether they want to be or not. Most get away with their selfish behaviour because, unlike me, the majority of women will not challenge them.
Gerry, in all fairness, is unique (in my experience) because he admits he’s selfish and – in his own words – ‘not sufficiently interested in other people’. He apologised and was actually pleased I’d made a point of saying what I did. He told me to tell him in future if he ever talked about himself too much again . Since then he really tries to be interested in me and asks me what I’ve been up to, but I know he’s just faking it. I could never go out with anyone so selfish in my personal life.
He’ll never ask about things we’ve talked about in the past, whereas I’ll remember things about our last date and then bring them up when I see him again . For example, if he’s playing badly at golf and has had one of his tantrums on the range, on our next date I’ll ask if his golf ’s improved. Because he isn’t interested in me, he never remembers things I’ve talked about previously – he just asks what I’ve been up to. So, it’s easy for me to start a conversation with him, but he never, ever tries to initiate one with me. That means we always start off talking about him, and the date last night was no different.
I initiated the conversation , and he told me all about his golf, his house and his work, and his thoughts on reality TV shows and Gordon Ramsay. Another sign of his selfishness is that he never offers me a drink when I arrive. When I have visitors to my home, the first thing I do is offer them a drink.
During the drive to the pub he eventually asked what I’d been up to. It had been a year since I’d seen him, so I didn’t know what to say… where should I start? My mind went blank, so I started by saying I’d got my Brown Belt in Aikido, but when he didn’t show any interest in that, I steered the conversation back to his favourite subject: him. He’s known about me writing this book for a while, but he’s never once asked me how it’s going.
After a very tasty meal, we made our way back to his house. I opened the drawer in my room to see if he had any candles left from our previous dates – he had a whole collection that had grown over the years. He lit them and put them around his room. I had a black lace and cerise lingerie set on , and his eyes lit up when he saw me. It wasn’t long before he undressed himself and we settled on the bed.
He is fascinated with my boobs and loves to spend ages playing with them. It turns me on , too, which is a bonus, so it didn’t take long for my bra to be removed. We spent about an hour playing. Thankfully (and surprisingly) Gerry is not selfish in bed, so most of our bedroom time he spends pleasuring me – licking and caressing me. By the time we have sex he’s usually so turned on that it doesn’t take him long to come, and then we snuggle in a post-sex embrace for a short while before I go back to my room.
This morning, I stayed in bed until 9a .m. When he heard me get up, he went to make me a cup of tea , and by the time I’d had a wash and got back into bed, leaving the door open so he knew I was up, he arrived with two cups of tea . We must look like a married couple, drinking tea side by side in bed, him with his jogging bottoms and Tshirt on , me in my nightie. All I needed was the hair rollers! It’s our ‘ moaning morning’ – every morning after our date we sit in bed and whinge about the world today: the prison system, problems with plumbers, squirrels, computers, people, diet, weight… Anything we have to whinge about, we do it in the morning with a cup of tea .
Once we’d both finished our tea, I turned on my side towards him and snuggled up. He put his arm around me and then he turned to face me, too. He was grinning, so I grinned back at him with a mischievous glint in my eye. We kissed and caressed each other. Gerry always wants reassurance that I am enjoying myself, so he talks a lot during our intimacy. He’ll ask things in the third person , like, ‘Do you think Bea would like me to play with her boobs?’ If only he could be as caring and interested out of bed!
It’s always a quicker session in the mornings, and after about 30 minutes of foreplay and a short sex session beginning with me on top, and ending in missionary, he came. We embraced and carried on our chatter, before I prompted him that I needed feeding, so we showered and went downstairs for breakfast.
Before I left, he said he’d like to see me after his operation .
CHAPTER 14:
The Girlfriend Experience
Everyone has their own interpretation of the sought-after ‘Girlfriend Experience’ (GFE), but to most people it means a lady who makes the experience fun, enjoyable, unhurried and relaxing – more like a ‘real date’ than a commercial encounter. However, in practice whether this is actually achieved depends on many things, including personality, chemistry and mutual expectations.
The opposite of the GFE is the PSE (Porn Star Experience), which has a strong emphasis on the sexual side of the encounter, and as the name suggests, these girls generally offer hardcore, porn-style sex. These experiences can be cold and detached, with lots of fake moaning and no kissing, and sometimes it’s clear the girls aren’t really enjoying themselves and are just doing it for the money.
There are also the very sought-after ladies who have the ability to switch between both – allegedly giving a GFE in public, and a PSE behind closed doors. I personally think there’s no such thing, as the two things contradict each other. Girls offering a PSE generally don’t kiss, and I can’t imagine any boyfriend, no matter how much he loved wild sex, would find that acceptable. And surely guys would want real moaning and groaning, not the fake groans associated with the ‘Porn Star Experience’? So, when guys say the lady offers a GFE/PSE combination, they actually mean it’s a raunchy GFE
– I suppose like having a girlfriend who’s a nymph, and who genuinely enjoys sex.
My personal opinion is that you can’t offer a GFE for any date that doesn’t involve being wined and dined. It’s about more than the sex – it’s a total package, and I think you need to get to know someone outside of the bedroom to really have a GFE. That’s why I mostly see people for overnight/dinner dates and longer. The things that I think make me a good GFE are that I am affectionate and tactile and I love kissing and intimacy. Also, I’m a friendly and warm person, who is caring and giving when treated respectfully. I’m told I can quickly put the most nervous and shy person at ease. I enjoy being wined and dined, and having weekends away. I’m well-mannered and likeable, and I don’t wear a lot of make-up. I prefer the natural look, with no hair or nail extensions (only boob extensions!). I don’t wear tarty, revealing clothes for my dates, and I dress like a lady. One of my clients recently told me I was the most sensual woman he’d made love to. He’d seen a number of escorts and said he felt that many of them were trying to detach themselves from the experience, but he said I made things feel very natural.
In my early days there was one time when I wasn’t very professional. I was on an overnight date with one of my regulars and we’d got back to the room after dinner. I’d had a whole bottle of wine with dinner, as he was Muslim and didn’t drink. When we got to the room, I was feeling quite tipsy, and sexually frustrated. I wanted him to make an effort and make me come, which was silly, and I remember saying to him that he didn’t care about my enjoyment and never tried to please me. He looked quite startled at this little outburst – he’d seen me so many times, and it had never bothered me before. He left the room, and I paced around in tears and called an escort friend for advice. I couldn’t dri
ve home, and if I left it would be really awkward.
Would he see me again? While I was still on the phone, he came back in. I terminated the call and decided to apologise. After a while, I joked that he had just got the ultimate GFE – with arguments, tears and everything. No one can accuse me of not being like a real girlfriend!
Escorts specialising in offering a GFE are great at finding a connection with people and putting them at ease, but this can be misinterpreted. One of the dangers of offering the GFE is often emotions get involved (usually on the guy’s side), and once they’re there, this makes things extremely difficult. When I find a client I can be my cheeky, funny self with, someone who’s easygoing, fun and great company, it’s dangerous because they rarely last as a client. I have lost regulars that I have been genuinely fond of because they have misunderstood our connection. I’m not saying I’m a fake, but we all do it – we let different bits of our personality shine out with different people. Here’s an email I received after a date:
Hi Bea-Beautiful
Thanks for a really relaxed and stimulating night. Escorting may well be your ‘job’ and you are indeed clearly very ‘professional’ (having integrity and being organised, reliable and considered in a manner that gives your clients the experience they are seeking)...but...and I don’t mean ‘but’ as in not acknowledging that all that is a compliment to you...but ...as in additionally…I found you such a warm and natural delicate flower, and so very easy to talk to. I am sure this must happen often with you...I found myself talking about difficult areas that I would not normally share with a companion...so thank you for being so bloody feet-on-the-ground open and normal. You are so easy to be around – ranging from hearing about you crashing your car to lying naked with you and enjoying your smile and chemistry.
You are a really lovely person. I am in danger of rambling and boring you, so just thanks and really hope to meet up again in the near future...with the thought that last night disappeared so quickly that I would hope for your company for a much longer time.
The Girlfriend Experience Page 17